Tempus Vita
by Lancun
Summary: Dying with those wonderful green eyes filling his vision, Severus Snape travels to the afterlife to be given an offer by Dumbledore: a chance to return to his tortured past to have a second opportunity at life. Awakening at the moment of his worst memory, can Sev conquer his teenage demons to become the bravest man ever known by the one he TRULY cared for, Lily Evans?
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to the Harry Potter franchise, characters, or scenarios from the movies or books. Merely a fan of the series who loved it so much that I wanted to paint my own picture, trying to stay as true to the canon characters as possible. As always, a thank you to Jo Rowling for the hours spent imagining the wonderful world you brought to us.**

_Pain._

_Shivering._

_Green..._

With one final gasp for breath, Severus Snape's head fell as the venom and blood loss took him. His mission was complete, his life of pain and regret finally finished. It was a period of numbness that followed. Severus wasn't sure how long it lasted. A minute? A year? Time was incomprehensible to him.

Through his cold, unseeing eyes, there was only white. Yet suddenly, a voice resonated from the fog, and gentle footsteps echoed. "You did well, Severus. Better than even I thought you were capable of all those years ago."

Severus gasped in surprise as a robed figure broke through the mist and came into focus. That voice belonged to someone long dead, by his own hands no less. Someone who had offered him a different path from the darkness that threatened to swallow his soul, someone who trusted him enough to see their plans through to the end, someone he had confided his deepest regrets and true loyalties with.

"You've a lot of nerve to show up here, Albus." Severus's voice betrayed his normally stoic disposition. Now there were no walls of Occlumency to hide behind as he stared at the ethereal form of Dumbledore with the fury of betrayal. "You come to see me here, in death, to tell me what a good little soldier I was? Come to ruin my peace after my heart stops beating to remind me of how I failed? How, despite everything I've done, despite **her** sacrifice, I sent Harry Potter off to die so your war can be over?"

Dumbledore's lips curled into a smile, and there was a sincere warmth to them which made Severus shiver in disgust. Albus's constant drivel of "the greater good" had been the most imaginary concept in the world to Severus, and it horrified him at how deceitful the old wizard could be. "Yes. It's over, Severus. Lord Voldemort has met the fate he sacrificed his humanity to escape. The one thing he feared more than anything has come to pass. He's dead."

This did not deter Severus's scathing diatribe as he glared at Albus. "At what cost?! **Her** son! I didn't ask to be your tool to send the one thing **she** gave everything for to death!"

Before he moved to continue his verbal assault, Dumbledore's soft chuckle resonated in Snape's afterlife prison. With that, a short phrase, one that the old man had told Severus years in the past under very different circumstance, was repeated. "The boy survives."

"Wh-what? But the Elder Wand! How-"

"The Elder Wand belonged to Harry all along, Severus. It would not kill its true master, and the curse which took the lives of so many of Voldemort's victims rebounded. With no remaining Horcruxes, he died just as you or I would have. It's funny, don't you think? How the smallest of circumstances that we do not prepare for solve themselves for the better? I had hoped that the lineage of that wand would die with me, but by a stroke of luck, things changed." Suddenly, Dumbledore's eyes took a rather inquisitive look as he slowly circled around Severus. "To love so deeply, yet to expect none in return. To face the hatred of those you protected and saved, yet demand no pity or respect in return. I expect neither Harry, nor the entirety of Hogwarts had a greater protector than you, Severus. So now that your mission is over, I wonder. What is your greatest wish? If you were to let go of all but what you desire and allowed yourself to be selfish here in the afterlife, what would you ask for?"

"I ask for nothing, Albus." Severus began, turning away as his pain was evident on his face. "My Slytherin ambitions died with **her**. I did not show the boy my most private of memories expecting him to feel sorry for me, nor do I expect all of my misery in life to be rewarded with **her** love in death." The thought of what Lily would look like here, her angelic beauty, her vibrant red hair and the emeralds adorned within her eyes definitely crossed his mind. Would she forgive him? Admonish him? Hate him?

As if Dumbledore could see into Severus' now readable mind, he answered. "I cannot offer you Lily Potter, Severus. She is not yours to take, and I trust you know that. She left your world hand in hand with her husband for the sake of their son. You did not earn her love in your previous life."

Snape nodded grimly. It was more than he deserved, after all, having learned his lessons far too late in life. But why had Albus asked such a question? Was his desire to torture him one final time and leave him in solitude to stew in his fantasies for the rest of eternity?

"But what I can offer you is a second chance. A journey to a new world to call your own." Albus whispered with a smile, setting his hand on Severus's shoulder as his circled pacing stopped. "Whether you choose to go to that world and right the wrongs of your previous life, ignore your mistakes and repeat them, or remain alone here in the afterlife, that's up to you. But Severus, you died enveloped with so much love, yet no conduit to release it. It's only here, after we die, that love's limitless potential can be realized. Yet so few die without someone to leave that love with that a case like yours is an enormous rarity."

Snape's snorted in mockery, his usual distrust of Dumbledore's cryptic riddles obvious in his furrowed brow. "Is that what you offer me, Albus? A spiritual Time-Turner that will allow me to go back and relive my greatest mistakes? This, after you talked me down about the 'dangers' time would bring to a world when tampered with?"

"Severus, you misunderstand. This is quite simply, a second chance at life. A new world, separate from the one you just left. Identical to the other in every way, with one exception. You. You've the ability to paint a very different canvas knowing what you know now. There will not be two of you as if it were a Time-Turner, just you. You will awaken in your new life, fully aware of everything that happened in the old."

This offer began to break through the mocking look on Severus's face as he gazed into the gleaming eyes of Dumbledore in honest bewilderment. "If I were to accept your offer, what would I take with me?"

"Whatever you desire. I should hope your old grudges do not come along, though that may be asking too much. I think you'll find that when you awaken, you'll be quite...limited in your abilities, despite your knowledge of advanced magic, it won't be enough until your new body attunes itself to your mind and can be given the opportunity to catch up."

"Catch up? You mean to tell me that when I wake up, I'll be back in Hogwarts?" The anxiety was becoming evident in Snape's voice.

"But of course. Rather amusing to think of someone as abrasive as you in the body of a student. With all that you know now in tow, can you not think of a greater place to restart your life? After all, it is our choices Severus, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities. Our choices have the power to shape the world around us and influence the lives of those closest to us. I trust that when you see her again, you'll have learned enough to treasure her?"

_**Her.**_

Snape's lips started to tremble as he tried to brush the thoughts of seeing Lily again to the back of his mind. There had to be an ulterior motive, there always was with Dumbledore. "Am I to take Potter's place in this other world? I assume, if everything is going to restart as it was, that the Dark Lord will be growing in power and my knowledge of how to defeat him is going to be required if I'm to live any normal life after the fact. Am I to be your expendable tool in another lifetime as well, Albus?"

"That's up to you, Severus." the old man chuckled as he turned and began to walk into the mist. "This is your second life. No more, no less. I make no guarantees; your choices are what will shape this new world into your own. But if you don't want to waste this opportunity, I suggest you board. Your train is about to depart." And with that, the echoing footsteps were gone as Severus turned to his right, realizing where he now was as a loud whistle sounded with a startling blow.

The fog began to lift as he found himself alone in what looked to be King's Cross Station, standing next to a solitary train that seemed ready to leave. Before boarding it, Snape glanced at the label at the front of the train, so very similar to the Hogwarts Express. Reading the words aloud as he stepped inside.

"Tempus Vita."

With a sudden jolt, Severus felt the train spring to life when the doors shut, and as the sound of the car's movement began to accelerate, he lost consciousness when he felt his own heart begin to beat.


	2. Chapter 1: Sunny-Side Up

**DISCLAIMER: Most of the quotes in the scene by the lake are taken from Order of the Phoenix Ch. 28: Snape's Worst Memory. As if it needs said, I do not own the characters or concepts from the wonderful world of Harry Potter, those rights belong to Jo Rowling. Merely a fan painting an alternative in the fantasy she gave all of us.**

With a sudden jolt, the blackness dissolved into blinding daylight, as Severus began choking for air. The reflex caught him off guard; when had he needed to breathe in the afterlife? It wasn't just the need to breathe that alarmed him, however. He could **_feel_** the air around him, the warm spring breeze. He could **_hear_** the sound of teenagers laughing in the distance. And as his eyes adjusted to the light, he could **_see_** that endless blue of the Great Lake nearby. The sight of those oh-so-familiar waters took his breath away once more as the coughing continued, more violently than before. It was as if the afterlife had shifted around him just as deftly as the Room of Requirement. Just what had that train done to him?

"All right, Snivellus?" Shocks didn't cease for Severus as he turned his head sharply to the sound of a voice he was certain he'd never have to endure again. The sight was unmistakable; approaching rapidly were four teenage boys, led by the pair of Sirius Black and James Potter.

It was a scene that had played out hundreds of times to Severus, both in his head and in his recollections in the Pensieve, but as they approached, that routine feeling of being trapped in his own body as the events played out was missing. All he could do as they neared was stare dumbfounded, unable to stop himself from raising his voice "What the hell are YOU doing here, Potter?!"

Sirius snickered at their opponent's apprehension, drawing his wand. "James and I couldn't help noticing you gagging. What's the matter, Snivelly? Fresh air harmful to a dungeon-dwelling snake like you? Locomotor Mortis!"

The sensation of being jinxed by Sirius Black broke Severus out of his reverie as his legs locked up shortly before he fell backwards and hit the grass. The sensation of mild pain shot through as he felt the weight of his bag smack against his abdomen. _"Pain..? Here? How can one hurt after death?"_ His eyes wandered, trying to make sense of what was going on. The familiar sight of students gathering to observe the scene playing out was contrasted by the different position he found himself in.

The question remained unanswered as Severus' vision was obscured by the two boys above him, their smirks wide as James pulled his own wand out. "How'd the exam go, Snivelly?"

Sirius let out a sneer as he prodded James' side "I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment. There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

Severus merely glared up at his would-be tormentors. The Marauders had indeed haunted his childhood, but compared to the dread of keeping his cover around the Dark Lord during the waning days of his life, childish insults didn't pierce his armor anymore. "Have anything clever to say besides that drivel, you bloody twats?"

James' eyes seemed to catch sight of someone behind Severus, but upon being insulted, turned back to him, "Wash out your mouth, Scourgify!"

There it was again. That swelling feeling of actually being in the moment rather than merely observing it as he'd done countless times before. It had been decades since Severus actually tasted that disgusting, enchanted soap, felt the flush in his cheeks from being humiliated by James Potter once again. Coughing and gurgling the soapy bubbles, he felt a sensation of dread wash over him as he realized what point in the encounter he was at. _"Any second now..."_

"Leave him ALONE!"

Time stopped as that voice boomed, silencing the laughing spectators and parting them as she approached. Even Severus' gagging was instantly silenced as he turned his head, the taste of the Scouring Charm no longer registering as he NEEDED to see her. Shoving past Lupin and Pettigrew, that flaming mane of hair followed like a curtain in the breeze. Those _green eyes_ glaring daggers at Potter, belonged to none other than Lily Evans.

The world went quiet as Severus ignored the flirting of James to the defending protests of Lily. Watching Potter ruffle his hair around her stirred the long-dormant animosity in Snape's stomach. He couldn't fathom why this familiar scene was sending such shivers down his spine. _"What the hell is going on? Why does this feel real?! I half expected Albus to be leading me on when he said I'd start anew!"_

His thoughts were interrupted by the feeling returning to his legs as the jinx was wearing off. Slowly getting to his feet, he reached for his wand inside the pocket of his robe. As he pointed his it at James, he blanked for a moment as to what spell to hit him with; he couldn't summon the hatred with Lily nearby to eviscerate Potter with a well-aimed Sectumsempra. As he attempted to cast a non-verbal Stunning Charm at his foe, his wand strangely did not respond to his spell. In fact, it felt like the core of the wand was pushing back against his own magical core as his eyes widened, unable to believe his failure at casting a simple Stupefy.

"Bad luck, Prongs. Oi!" Announced Sirius, who interrupted the fighting to point out Severus' hostile intentions to James. A single flash of light pulled Severus high above the group of students and hung him upside-down. The irony of being less effective against Potter in this version of his memory despite his wealth of magical experience was not lost on him, as his eyes immediately searched for Lily. The laughter of the onlookers didn't even register as he saw that face, needing to see if his memory held true again. Sure enough, as his robe hung downwards, Severus could see that flicker of a smile on Lily's face, her briefest of amusement at the sight of his embarrassment.

The pit in his stomach that was already there since Lily's arrival opened to a bottomless abyss; the image of that smile was worse than a punch to the gut. Even as she regained her composure and turned to James in protest once more, it was all Severus could do to put up his Occlumency to ignore that pain of anger, embarrassment, self-loathing at what he knew he'd called her once upon a time. A word he'd never utter again, least of all here, real or not.

"Let him down!"

"Certainly." James chuckled at Lily's choice of words and swung his wand downward. Unfortunately, Severus was so preoccupied with Occluding the events before him that he was completely unprepared to break his fall as he landed directly on his head. That pain from before returned a hundredfold as the world faded, the sickening thud of the impact was the last noise he heard when he fell unconscious.

* * *

The crowd's laughter at James Potter's antics was immediately silenced as Severus lay deathly still in the grass. James' face shifted from his trademark smirk to a grim stare as Lily shoved him aside to tend to the fallen Slytherin boy. Remus Lupin immediately took the position Lily had abandoned and looked at his friend with severe disappointment.

"Enough is enough, James! Snape didn't even fight back that time and you still had to make an ass out of yourself in front of Lily! Do you have any idea how much trouble I'll get in if I let my friends play their little games anymore?"

Sirius jumped between the pair to his best friend's defense. "Oh shut it, Moony! Snivellus drew his wand and was about to hit James with God knows what Dark Curse he has up his sleeve! Remember what he used last time? Would've taken my hand off had his aim been worth a damn! Ruddy bastard deser-"

"No, Padfoot...Moony's right." James' voice was shaking at the sight before him, the stony silence of the crowd being pierced only by Lily's quiet sobs to her best friend. Taking a few steps towards them, James reached for Lily's shoulder, that arrogance from moments ago long since evaporated. "Evans, look, I'm sorry."

Lily instantly slapped away his hand and glared at him, those green eyes shining with fury. "You're saying that to me and not to Severus?! Piss off, Potter! That goes for all of you! LEAVE!" she screamed, turning her anger on the group of spectators that quickly scattered.

Remus quickly knelt down near his fellow Prefect, turning to her. "How is he, Lily?"

The sobbing returned as Lily's anger faded, "He's not moving. His heart's still beating, but his breaths are shallow. From the way he landed, he could have a concussion, or worse, a broken neck. I can't move him like this, Remus! He could be hurt worse if I do!"

Sighing, the sandy-haired Gryffindor turned to his group of friends, eyes narrowing on the spectacled face of James. "Well, I suppose it's a good thing that you have top marks in Transfiguration this year. What do you think, Prongs? Can you conjure us up a stretcher so we can move him to the hospital wing?"

"Remus, NO! He'll just make it worse!" Lily protested, offended that Lupin would even suggest having James help after what he'd done.

"Trust me, Lily, I'll keep an eye on him, and he'll be gone as soon as we get to Madam Pomfrey. It's either that or wait for help to get here, and I'm sure James is good enough to manage the spell."

Lily slowly got back to her feet, marching toward James before scowling hatefully at him. "Listen to me, Potter, because this is how the next few weeks are going to happen. You help us get him to the Hospital Wing. You and Black leave him alone, period. If you so much as call him that wretched nickname, I swear on Merlin's beard that I will do everything I can to get the both of you kicked off the Quidditch team next year! Maybe one of you might have actually grown past this stupidity by the time school starts again!"

Sirius' eyes shot open, wide as dinner plates. "Oi! Evans! You've no right to do that! What happens when Snivellus instigates the next fight? We supposed to take it like a couple of prats?"

"You leave **_Severus_** to me, Black. I'll see to it that he doesn't step out of line, either; he's already on thin ice as it is for that spell he's been casting lately. This ends today! LOOK AT HIM!" she shouted hysterically, pointing to Snape's unmoving body. "Any further and someone will get killed!" She averted her eyes back to James, who had been silent throughout her tirade. "I'm not asking, I'm demanding! Are we clear, Potter?"

Letting in a deep breath, James turned a stony, uncharacteristically serious look to Lily. He planted his feet firmly in the grass, not backing down from her intimidation. "Evans, we'll leave him be this year. But come September, if Snape or his Death Eater friends step out of line again, then a pantsing in front of the school is going to be the least of his problems. The bastard's rotten scum who wants to join HIM, and if he gets any closer to that-"

"Then I won't stop you, Potter." she whispered, voice uneven as she turned back to Severus' body.

As much as Lily tried to tell herself that he wouldn't, couldn't do those things, past experience told her otherwise. She remembered the things that he had done in recent years, to the point where she had long since started wondering whether to cut herself off from him. But the way he had looked into her eyes during the incident, like he'd seen a ghost, shook Lily to her core. He hadn't blinked from the moment he was sent airborne, like he was searching her for something rather than worrying about Potter's juvenile behavior. It reminded her of the little boy by the river back home, the first sign in nearly a year of that boy that was her dearest friend, and not the dark, almost repulsive young man he was shifting into.

That one, curious thought stayed with Lily as she, Remus, and James delivered Severus to the hospital wing on a stretcher that James had reluctantly summoned.

* * *

**_Hours Later_**

Lily opened the door to the Hospital Wing following dinner in the Great Hall, frowning as she entered, seeing Severus still unconscious in his hospital bed. Earlier that day, Madam Pomfrey had diagnosed him with a severe concussion, and although all manner of healing spells were being used to treat his pain and avoid complications, he would likely miss the Ancient Runes O.W.L. that was scheduled the following day, and if his condition hadn't improved, the Potions O.W.L. the following Monday.

Taking her seat next to his bedside, Lily gazed at the young Slytherin's face, still contorted in that wince of pain that had been locked in place for the past several hours. Unsure of what to do, she sighed. "I know you probably didn't want my help. But I was the only one who WOULD help you, Severus...Just like I'm the only one that's visited. It hurts, you know? I feel like I'm being tossed aside like yesterday's news for that gang of Pureblood snobs you call your real friends, yet where are they? Have Avery, Mulciber, or Rosier actually been concerned enough about your health to come see you? They're using you because you're brilliant...you could do so much better than that crowd."

Lily noticed a sharp intake of breath, his eyes seeming to flicker under his lids, and she was startled to hear his voice, so clear and so focused despite his injury.

"Lily. Why did you smile?"

The question had come out of nowhere like a crash in a silent night. He seemed to be awake, yet didn't bother opening his eyes. Yet that hurt was in his voice, the pain that he'd slowly been shutting out and showing her less of over the years. His question puzzled her for a moment.

"What?"

"Down by the lake. Potter was being Potter. But you...why did you smile? When he had me up there?"

Lily gasped at his inquiry, the pain obvious to her, yet he delivered it so eloquently that she couldn't detect any hostility in his voice. As if he were reporting a news story. When had Severus learned to speak so deliberately? He was always so scathing, so hurtful in his accusations, that she could often ignore his legitimate points when they were made, merely turning the hostility back at him. But this was so different. She had smiled, hadn't she?

"I...Severus, I'm sorry. It was more reflex than anything, I-"

"Reflex at what? Flattery at Potter making a show for you to flirt with? Or reflex seeing me get my dues after all the things we've argued about?" The question was two-fold. Very obviously poking at what she'd been denying for so long, her attraction to James Potter, and laying the blame on himself for his actions as of late. This puzzled Lily so much; how could he, Severus Snape, take blame for anything as of late? It was always about turning things around to the antics of James Potter, school bully, vilifying him and absolving himself of all sin because turnabout was apparently fair play.

Except it wasn't anymore. The anguish in Severus' voice took whatever excuse Lily was going to make right out of her mind. Slowly, his eyes opened, gazing at her dumbfounded face with endless, obsidian pools. Even the way he looked at her was different, that was obvious now that she was so much closer to him.

Indeed, the way his eyes were downcast, it almost was like a relief when their eye contact broke, like she'd been saved from drowning under a whirlpool. "Sev...you look exhausted."

At the sound of her gentle voice reflexively using his old nickname, Severus winced. Why had this girl such a bewitching and jarring effect on him?

"Something wrong?" Her eyes widened in concern with his unpleasant reaction, until she was trapped by those black pools once more.

"You called me Sev." It wasn't a question, though the inflection in his voice made it seem like this puzzled him. It had been some time, even before this incident in his previous life, that Lily referred to him with that term of endearment. Their drifting apart had been a gradual one, though having called her that despicable word was more than enough to sever whatever had been left.

"And you're acting different. It's almost frightening. It would be terrible of me to say that Potter knocked a bit of humility into you, but what other explanation is there?" Sighing at her lack of manners in bringing up his attacker, she quickly rephrased what she said.

"Madam Pomfrey said that you suffered a severe concussion today. I guess changes in mood and attitude go along with that. You're going to be off your feet for several days, but that's going to cut into our O.W.L.s. You're going to miss Ancient Runes tomorrow for sure, but I've already arranged it with Professor Babbling so you can take the exam next weekend, Saturday afternoon. We'll see if you're well enough for Potions on Monday, though I doubt a concussion will keep you from getting an O." she finished with a teasing smile.

Severus could hear a faint chime of the clock tower in the distance, diverting Lily's attention to the direction of the noise before she turned back to him with a slight frown. "Half an hour to curfew. I have to do my evening rounds before bed, Prefect's duty and all..I should be going." She got to her feet, walked a few paces before turning back to him with a bit of a mischievous grin. "I'll bring you some breakfast tomorrow before the Ancient Runes Theoretical exam. Is wheat toast, bacon, and a _scrambled egg_ still your favorite?" she asked, poking fun at the last item.

Letting out an exhausted breath, the corner of Severus' mouth curled into the thinnest smile. "You know I can't stand them sunny-side up like you."

With a playful giggle, Lily turned back to the door, her face once again obscured by her auburn curls as Severus called out once more to her. "Lily?"

She stopped halfway to the door, turned her head back to him questioningly. Upon seeing those gentle emeralds adorning her freckled face once more, his stomach lurched, his words that were on the tip of his tongue flowed out smooth as water. "Thanks for your help today. And thank you...for caring."

Startled at his gratitude, Lily was beaming a happy smile before she even took a moment to consider his words. "Anytime, Sev."

**Author's Note: Thus begins yet another time travelling story of Severus returning to a time when his redemption would've made a bigger difference in the grand scheme of things. I kept tossing the scenario back and forth in my head between him returning before his first year even started, or to bring him back to the Mudblood Incident by the lake during Fifth Year. Given the fact that I'd like to keep Severus out of the role of Mary Sue, Mr. Perfect Genius because I don't think I'd write him well that way, I chose the latter option, although I'm sacrificing a number of already written chapters of the former option to do so. **

**A couple of things to note, while I despise the character of James Potter, there's a bit of a disturbing trend that Fan fiction follows of turning him into this obsessive, stalking psychopath in most AU, and while that's fine for some writers, I'd like to try to keep things as close to canon as possible. only introducing the scenario had Severus actually been given that one chance to go back into his life and fix things. There will be no white-knighting Severus either; despite my love for his character development and him being my favorite character in literature, he's not blameless for the way things fell apart. Nor is Lily for that matter. My goal throughout this Fanfiction is not to portray any of these characters as black or white. Jo did a wonderful job at giving each of them a wonderful, varying palette of grey, and it's my hope to stay at least SOMEWHAT true to that. Thanks for reading! Please give me your critiques and feedback; there will be a lot more on the way.**


	3. Chapter 2: This Isn't You

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters or concepts of the Harry Potter series. Thank you, Jo, for giving us a world we can love enough to create our own stories with.**

Tossing and turning at the sound of the clock tower chiming midnight, Lily rolled to her side to gaze out the window into the clear night sky. She'd spent the last two hours in her four poster, unable to sleep as she kept considering the day's events.

Severus hadn't been easy for her to figure out for a long time now. On one hand, he'd find the tormenting of Muggleborns, the vile curses thrown at them by his fellow Slytherins, amusing. So amusing, in fact, that he'd been creating his own spells, many of which hadn't been particularly harmful, even commandeered by James Potter on some of his pranks. But then there was _that spell_. A curse so violent that even the creation of it was more cruel than she ever could've thought Severus to be. She knew why he'd done it; it was a spell he could use to fight back against James and not risk it being stolen because of how dark it really was.

Then there was that wretched word, _Mudblood_. Though she'd never heard Severus say it himself, she'd been told by her friend, Mary Macdonald, that he uttered it in laughter at the incident with Mulciber. Lily denied it at first, approaching him about it to give him the benefit of the doubt, but the fact that he'd played it off as nothing told her all she needed to hear, resulting in one of their worst rows ever. The very idea of such a disgusting word coming out of her best friend's mouth made her cry herself to sleep the night of the argument.

On the other hand, Severus would study with her. He'd listen to her when they weren't in the midst of an argument (which had become quite common in recent months). He'd still have a shy look whenever their eyes locked, still stumble over his words in her presence.

If she were honest with herself, Lily suspected that Severus had a crush on her, but shivered at the thought. It wasn't that she _couldn't_ feel that way towards him; after all, he had a number of wonderful traits. His intelligence, a quicker wit than even James Potter, his bullheaded stubbornness and the inner strength to stand by what he believed in. If he took care of himself more, he might even be handsome.

No, it wasn't that Lily COULDN'T return those feelings if her suspicions were true, it was that she WOULDN'T. Severus was a boy who hadn't kept his priorities in order. The friends he was making within his own house frightened her, and equally alarming was what they were turning him into. His normally wonderful, onyx eyes had begun to harbor hatred and resentment to what the Death Eater aspirants called 'Blood Traitors', most of all to James Potter.

His shyness around Lily turned into an almost possessive jealousy at the attention she received from his hated rival. Severus insulted Muggles and Muggleborns, yet wanted to be near her, stay friends with her, as if trying to convince himself that she was the exception to a disgusting Slytherin rule.

For those reasons, Lily had long considered heeding the words of her other friends and cutting Severus out of her life. The notion of it broke her heart; Sev was her rock. Her anchor that her memories of Hogwarts started with. But before the bizarre talk in the Hospital Wing, it seemed like Sev was dying. Sev, the boy who brought her to this wonderful world, played with her when her sister had abandoned her, was turning into Severus, a thorny, prejudiced sociopath.

Until today, that is. His behavior, even before the concussion, startled her. He hadn't retaliated against James Potter even though he had the chance; there was plenty of time his wand was drawn to throw _that spell_ at him. When Severus was hoisted up, he should've been mortified that Potter was putting his pants on display for all of the students to see, yet the only thing that seemed to concern him was Lily's reaction, pride be damned.

"_And you smiled. You smiled at his embarrassment and flirted with Potter for over a minute when you could've stopped the incident at the soap. Then he never would've gotten hurt."_

Lily shut her eyes in shame, her lips trembling at what she'd done. The truth was that she wanted Severus to feel humiliated like all the Muggleborns that he and his friends were targeting. She wanted that attitude of his to be taken down a peg so it might give him some perspective. Yet _none_ of that seemed to matter to him. He'd been acting strangely mature about the whole ordeal. He hadn't whined about Potter for the hundredth time, he hadn't shouted at her inaction, he'd only been hurt, obviously deeply, by her smile.

It was so decidedly NOT Severus. They hadn't argued about it; he hadn't pressed the issue of her smile any further than he'd needed to make his point. He seemingly forgave her for it enough to have friendly banter and even _thank_ her after it was done. It was as if he was afraid of something, chose his words so carefully as to not make her upset. Severus Snape was not one to speak in such a way, even with her.

Then Lily's doubts started to surface. _"It could just be the concussion symptoms. Madam Pomfrey did say that Severus might act strangely for the next couple of days."_ The possibility scared her. Could she take any of his pleasantries at face value, let her guard down, only to have them thrown back in her face later once he came to his senses and saw that he was friends with _someone like her_?

Lily wrapped herself tightly in her blankets, the image bringing tears to her eyes. She wasn't sure whether to accept this new Severus as anything but a temporary blip on the radar. All she knew as she finally drifted to sleep was one thing: she wanted _her_ _Sev_ back…

* * *

Within the open space of the hospital wing, there was deathly silence everywhere around Severus. He couldn't deny, looking at his own, young hands, that Dumbledore had told him the truth. The throbbing pain in his head would not have been possible if this were a dream in the eternity of the afterlife. The implications had only sunk in when Lily had left, that beautiful smile on her face a stark contrast to the pain that his worst memory gave him.

Laying back steadily, his eyes settled on the alabaster ceiling of the large room. It was strange to Severus as he contemplated the last three days of his, apparently, two lives. For years, he was a man with no peace in his life, no desires or ambitions to cling on to in order to desperately stay alive. When he had been killed by Nagini, it was almost like the release of an enormous burden of pain, his only regret at the time being that Harry Potter would die, rendering Lily's sacrifice in vain. The truth was that he welcomed the peace of death, was almost angered when Albus interrupted what would've been an eternity of silence and rest.

Yet now that he was here, back in his teenage years, able to see the face, hear the voice, and look into the eyes of the one he had loved so much, it was as if the pain of the concussion, the pain of his previous life, turned to dust and was scattered to the winds. None of the petty things mattered as much, and he'd been able to muster his first, sincere smile in many years, thin as it was.

Still, there was something that was bothering Severus, turning his head to his bedside table to look at his wand. During the incident at the lake, it was like his magic seized up on him, preventing him from casting a simple spell he'd used _hundreds_ of times before. It had been for the best at the time; Lily might not have been so friendly with him had he stooped to Potter's level and fought back against juvenile spells. It would be child's play to simply protect himself, and although he was sure he'd take great pleasure in outclassing James Potter in a duel, there was little sport in it.

With the most careful of movements, Severus reached for his wand, feeling the ebony wood in his hands and the dragon heartstring within tugging back against his own magical core. Drawing in a startled breath, he closed his eyes and set up his walls of Occlumency, determined to find out what was causing this abnormality. Once he was certain that he and his emotions were as separate as could be, Severus concentrated, pointing his wand at a pillow on a bed at the other side of the room.

"Accio pillow." came the empty whisper. Yet there was nothing. Not the slightest twitch of the target, nor could he feel the hum of the wand's core anymore. Eyes widening, Severus aimed for a closer bed. "Accio pillow." Again, nothing.

His patience breaking, Severus pointed his wand at the bed immediately to his right and began frantically repeating the incantation. After the third cast, Severus growled, throwing his wand to the table in a rage "Dammit!" The throbbing returned as his Occlumency fell, his breathing shallow as he dropped his head back to his own pillow in defeat.

Severus shut his eyes, too tired and frustrated to focus on anything besides the pain. This wasn't good. How could he function in a magical world if he couldn't cast the simplest of spells?

* * *

The following morning, Lily poked her head inside the hospital wing, smiling to see Severus awake and writing in his Potions textbook that had become a journal as of late. She was glad she had brought his belongings up with him, rather than have them sent back to his dormitory, as he'd no doubt be bored being in bed for at least another day.

The noise of the door closing behind her sufficiently got his attention, his head raising up from his book and that narrow smile lighting his face ever-so-delicately again. As Lily sat down near him, she could see the smile actually filled to his eyes. There was a wonderful feeling of realization that he was legitimately happy to see her. With a smile of her own in return, she handed Severus a plate of breakfast as promised the day before.

"Scrambled eggs for scrambled brains, Mr. Snape." she teased with a gleam in her eye.

"Why thank you for the service, Miss Evans. I'll tell your employer that you deserve a raise."

There it was again. The playful sarcasm she'd been missing. Tilting her head to the side to observe him eat for a moment, she noticed that he seemed deep in thought.

"How are you feeling, Sev? Has Madam Pomfrey given you any updates?"

Swallowing a mouth full of toast with strawberry jam, he set his plate to the side, deciding not to stuff himself while Lily was attempting conversation. "The throbbing has lessened; she says I'll be out of here Saturday night, Sunday at the latest. So I should only miss today's O.W.L., but honestly that's the least of my problems right now." His expression hardened, gazing into Lily's eyes. "I can't do magic."

"Wh-what?!"

"I can't do magic. ANY. My wand has stopped reacting to me, and I haven't been able to muster any of the simplest wandless magic either, so I know it's not just my wand. My own magical core is still intact; I can feel it shifting around in my body when I try to cast spells." Indeed, he had still been able to conjure his Occlumency shields, but all manner of simple, external charms he had tried that a first year would excel at, Severus had failed at. He had gone through all of the motions of casting spells that he'd done ever since his first days with a wand, clearing his mind of distraction and emotion had _always_ produced the maximum effect. "But when I try to focus, it doesn't matter if I enunciate it properly or cast it non-verbally, it fails. It feels like my wand's core is pulling back against me every time I cast."

Lily reached into her school bag, pulled out a quill which she deftly transfigured into a brass goblet, handing it to Severus. "Show me. Try the water-making spell. There's very little simpler than that."

As he'd attempted for an hour before Lily arrived, Severus gathered his wand, emptying his thoughts as he brought up his Occlumency to keep the red-haired Gryffindor from distracting him. The last thing he needed right now were silly butterflies embarrassing him around the girl he'd loved for so long. When he was locked in his own world once more, he again could no longer feel the humming of his wand's core, and even before he cast, correct wrist movement, proper incantation and all, he knew it'd fail.

"Aguamenti." Nothing.

Though startled by the failure of Severus, who by all accounts had been a genius near the top of Hogwarts Fifth Years, Lily found something equally disturbing as she watched him cast. It was like watching a soul die, his eyes lost their shine, his voice became barren of anything. "Sev...what's that thing you did with your eyes and your voice? It was really creepy…"

Almost with a wince, Severus' eyes retreated from the goblet and back into Lily's, letting his shield back down immediately. He'd forgotten that Lily knew nothing about his ability to Occlude. It was a skill he had acquired after their separation in his previous life, something he almost needed as a crutch to function after she left him at the Gryffindor portrait. Shaking his head hastily, he quickly made up an excuse. "Just concentrating, is all. Still didn't work."

His frustration was obvious to Lily, who meekly offered a suggestion. "Perhaps it's just symptoms of the concussion, and you'll recover from it? I can't imagine something so severe being a lasting effect. Wizards have had head trauma before and I've never heard of anything like this being anything more than a passing breeze."

With a sigh of defeat, Severus cast his eyes downward. Lily didn't know that he tried to cast before the concussion, and it was pointless to make her worry further until he had more answers. "Perhaps. I suppose it's good luck that none of my remaining O.W.L.s require use of my wand or spellcasting for practicals. Besides Potions on Monday, it's going to be quite a dull week. Arithmancy, Astronomy, History, and the Ancient Runes make-up on Saturday."

"Same here, minus Arithmancy for Divination. Oh! I'd forgotten to tell you, I cast a Patronus during the Defense Practical!" She proudly announced, grinning happily.

Severus' eyes lit in surprise, remembering his own inability to cast the Patronus Charm until after Lily's death, remembering the sight of the silver doe they both shared. He wondered, offhandedly, if even she would appear anymore. "Impressive. Was it corporeal?"

"No, but I was awarded quite a few bonus points, because few in our year were even able to cast the incomplete one, let alone anyone casting an animal." The excitement in her voice was radiating, bringing that thin smile back to Severus' lips.

"Well, give it another year of practice, have a strong enough positive memory, and I'm sure it'll appear. You're a natural in the wizarding world, Lily." He was interrupted by the sound of the door closing, turning his head and his expression hardening at the sight. "Oh, bloody hell…" he muttered.

Turning her head to the source of the noise, Lily's heart sank. Skulking up the aisle was Jacob Avery, with his trademark, sneering glare upon Lily as he approached the bed of his Slytherin Housemate. Despite his obvious disapproval of her presence, he ignored her as he smiled a toothy grin to Severus. "Shame about yesterday, mate. We'll get the bastard back, though. Can't have him sullying our house's reputation."

The intruder flashed an eye to the plate of food, then snorted in Lily's direction. "Oi, Snape, tell this bint to take a hike back to her boyfriend. I got some questions for you about the Runes exam. Mulciber and Rosier were too busy cooking up their usual schemes to help."

Lily's expression locked into one of disgust as she turned her face to Avery. Her mouth was agape, speechless at his behavior.

Avery's lips lifted into that sneer again. "Got hearing problems? You should listen when your betters give you an order, _Mudblood_."

There was an audibly sharp intake of breath that was heard at the mention of that word, but it hadn't come from Lily. Immediately after, only one word was spoken.

"Apologize…" Far from empty, the deep voice absolutely resonated with obvious anger.

Startled at the source of the voice, Lily looked back down, only to gasp softly at the sight of Severus, wand drawn, pointing it at Avery. The look in those endless, onyx pools was subtle; in fact, Lily doubted many others had seen that look. It was the dark, hateful flicker that she had only seen Severus wear for James Potter before.

Avery raised a questioning eyebrow, honestly bewildered by Severus' behavior. "Apologize? What are you going on about, mate?" Turning back to Lily, his tone became even more aggressive. "I said get lost, Mudblood!"

Lily didn't know what happened faster: Severus jumping out of his bed to grab Avery by his collar, or her own, startled jump out of her seat at his seething fury. Yet she knew, despite the shock in her eyes that matched Avery's, that Severus wasn't close to expressing the full depths of his fury. That look in his eyes spoke only one thing: a coiled spring ready to pop.

Then came his voice, speaking so softly, so methodically, yet it was obvious to Lily that Severus was shaking to his foundation. "Say that word again, Avery." He pointed his wand to touch his housemate's throat, just above the Slytherin-colored necktie. "Say it again, and I'll feed you your own tongue after I cut it out."

The red-headed Gryffindor winced at her friend's words. Not only because it was such a stark contrast to his pleasant demeanor towards her, but also because, despite his earlier showcase of being unable to cast even simple spells, the way his voice flowed almost told her that he could do it.

"You're cracked, Snape!" Avery stuttered, eyes bulging. "This isn't you, threatening a fellow Slytherin over some Gryffindor slut!"

"Langlock!"

Avery's tirade was immediately silenced, his tongue affixed to the roof of his mouth. The only noise that pierced the silence was Avery's whimpering juxtaposed by Severus' rapid, angry breaths, which slowed and calmed as the moment passed.

Severus gradually lowered his wand and released the death grip on Avery's collar, causing the latter to sprint out of the hospital wing in silent terror. Following his housemate's retreat with his gaze, settling back onto Lily as black met green. His anger faded, morphing into what seemed like a protective tenderness.

Yet Lily's eyes only showed fear and confusion as she backed away steadily. That look, that threat, THAT had been the Severus of her nightmares, yet it came to her defense. Why? What was so wrong with him hearing the word Mudblood? She knew he'd used it before. What made this time so different to cause such a reaction?

Avery's words echoed in her thoughts. _"This isn't you…"_

Lily gasped at the realization. _"No, it's not. It's just the concussion…"_

Seeing her sudden show of fear startled Severus, and he looked into her eyes, searching for something. "Lily, please, wait!"

"I have to go, otherwise I'll be late for the Ancient Runes O.W.L." Her voice was quivering with fear and disappointment, filled with sadness. Unwilling to look into those ebony pools anymore, Lily turned her back to rush toward the exit, leaving Severus alone in the Hospital Wing without so much as a goodbye.

**Author's Note: I'm not sure if I'll have an easily predictable schedule of what days I update this, but my goal is two chapters a week, assuming my well doesn't slow down. That being said, this is going to be a long road, so I hope I'm laying a decent enough foundation to start with.**

**As usual, reviews are appreciated! I love seeing feedback to content almost as much as I love writing it!**


	4. Chapter 3: One Friend

**DISCLAIMER: As usual, I make no claims of being J.K. Rowling or having any ownership of the world or characters of the Harry Potter universe.**

Severus rolled onto his side, turning his head away from the sunlit glare of the windows. He'd been almost numb to the world around him since Lily left, with only fear evident on her face.

Eyes as expressive as Lily's had truly been the gateway to the soul. Indeed, they were such good indicators of her thoughts and feelings that Severus had no need of Legilimency to read her. It was a feature that had undoubtedly been passed to her son in a different life, a comparison that he almost startled himself in making.

Perhaps this was his punishment for having treated 'The Boy Who Lived' so callously, having almost refused to acknowledge any similarity Harry had to his mother. It seemed to Severus that he was doomed to live in a world that he had come to far too late to make a difference in the eyes of the one who mattered most. By this time, Lily looked at his reformed nature as an anomaly, refusing to accept anything besides the aspiring, dark wizard he knew he had been during this era.

He hadn't blamed her, of course. How could he? The very idea of rebirth in another life seemed preposterous only days ago. He wondered if Lily thought him a liar, what with his announcement at his inability to cast spells, only to unexplainably, almost instinctively, cast _Langlock_ at Avery.

That mystery was a lingering cloud over his head. How had he done that? In that moment, Severus wanted nothing more than to shut Avery's disgusting, bigoted mouth that dared to speak to Lily that way. Yet the night before, and even in front of Lily with the goblet when he Occluded himself before the casting, he shut out _everything else_ but the desire to cast, and all those times had failed. What had been the variable?

With a sigh, Severus turned to stare upwards at the intricate ceiling of the Hospital Wing again. Dumbledore's cryptic words echoed in his thoughts. _"__Despite your knowledge of advanced magic, it won't be enough until your new body attunes itself to your mind and can be given the opportunity to catch up."_

What had that meant? At the time, Severus merely thought it was a warning not to cast far advanced magic for fear of it damaging his underaged body, but neither _Accio_, _Aguamenti_, and least of all _Lumos_ were what any half-wit wizard would consider complicated spells. Yet his casting of _Langlock _had seemed spontaneous, almost as if going back to his pre-Hogwarts days of accidental magic.

"_Leave it to Dumbledore to be vague in his explanations…"_ Severus thought bitterly. He supposed that he COULD reveal himself and his advanced knowledge to the Dumbledore of this era, but that would rely on the old wizard believing the word of a young, infamously troubled Slytherin. Even if he did believe him, the young man had no idea whether Albus would know the answer to his dilemma without that seemingly divine knowledge that the afterlife brought. Even worse, he could try to use him to end the Dark Lord's reign early, and while Severus wouldn't be opposed to giving information, his days of spying were over, and he'd be damned if even Dumbledore would interfere with that.

His quiet contemplation was interrupted by the sound of his bedside chair being occupied, followed by a most unexpected voice. "Severus, could I have a word if you don't mind?"

Upon recognition of the soft-spoken voice of the Gryffindor next to him, Snape turned his head, meeting the eyes of the sandy-haired Prefect with mild disinterest. "What do you want, Lupin? Isn't it a little early for your monthly trip to the Hospital Wing?"

The implication of Snape's sarcastic question was not lost on Remus, who continued despite the shot. "Actually, I'm here to talk to you on Prefect business regarding what happened at the lake yesterday. Professor McGonagall asked me to follow up with you regarding the punishment of James."

"Potter's punishment is none of my business, nor is it any of my concern, Lupin. I'm hardly a staff member that can change anything."

"Normally, if yesterday's incident had more closely resembled...well, previous occurrences between the two of you, you'd be right. But the fact remains that James instigated an unprovoked, unreturned assault on you that led to a very serious injury. Both he and Sirius will be serving detention with McGonagall every evening until term ends. However, because of the concussion and the complications it might bring you in the short term, she has asked if you wish to pursue any additional punishment in the case of James." Remus realized what he said and to whom he said it, adding quickly. "W-within reason, of course."

The look on Severus' face shifted to a disgusted sneer. "Oh really? Funny, I don't recall being given an option to pursue punishment for you lot the night at the Whomping Willow. In fact, I daresay that the only one who was punished that night was me." His voice lowered to a hiss that was audible only to the two of them. "Forced into a vow of secrecy when there's a dangerous, magical creature that could endanger students, that DID endanger me, one who surrounds himself with irresponsible friends that are the very incarnation of stupid decisions. Had I been offered something similar that night, Black would've been expelled and charged with a crime!"

Remus' gaze turned deathly stony, moving his gaze around the Hospital Wing to make sure there weren't any in earshot at the whispering. "Don't you dare try to understand what I am and who I befriend, Snape! Nobody was more ashamed and mortified at what happened that night than me; Sirius received more words from me than you could possibly muster! Do you have any idea what it's like? Being afflicted by a curse that turns you into a monster? Not knowing when you wake up if you've killed someone, or worse, turned them into another of your cursed kind? Do you hazard a guess as to how many people would look at me the way you do now if they knew? How many of them would define what I am for one night a month and invalidate who I am during my time of normalcy?!

"I have no idea which of my friends outside of James, Sirius, and Peter would drop me like a bad habit if they found out what I am. I don't know if I'll even find work once I'm done with Hogwarts; my monthly disappearances would be quite difficult to explain."

Severus' eyes narrowed at the heartfelt speech of Remus. Indeed, he had known that, despite his almost blissful ignorance, Lupin wasn't a malicious person, certainly not to the depths that James Potter or Sirius Black could go. What bothered him most was his negligent and lax nature. Lupin had been appointed Prefect by Dumbledore, presumably to rein in his more trouble making friends. Yet there was always a conflict of interest; though Lupin disapproved of Potter and Black's antics, he did little in the way of actually punishing them. Today's conversation with Remus was the first Severus heard anything about him actually following through on his duties to discipline the other Marauders.

And then there was Lupin's stint as Defense Professor in his previous life. Remus had gone off on the night of a full moon in search of Sirius, to aid the fugitive Black in their pursuit of Peter Pettigrew, stupidly forgetting to take his Wolfsbane Potion that Severus himself had made to prevent the mind's transformation from man to uncontrollable beast.

After he was told the events of that evening by Dumbledore, he had let it slip to a number of influential parties that Remus Lupin, Hogwarts Professor, was a Werewolf, which he knew would result in his early resignation or forced termination. Part of it was due to bitterness of Lupin's very association with James Potter and Sirius Black, which Severus himself could admit was rather petty. But the more important reason for his breaking the vow of secrecy was that if Lupin was stupid enough to forget taking such a vital potion one night, he could forget any night. And Severus did everything he could to stop that from happening at Hogwarts, for fear that brushing it under the rug would come back to (literally) bite Lily's son. Albus had reprimanded him heavily for it, but upon explaining himself and his reasoning, the Headmaster was considerate enough to at least see things from his point of view.

It was vital to Severus, now more than ever, that the beast be locked away, with Lily here at Hogwarts. The Wolfsbane Potion hadn't been invented for several years, but the breakthrough of Damocles Belby couldn't wait much longer if the Marauders were dumb enough to let a transformed Remus out of the Shrieking Shack to frolic with their Animagus forms.

Severus analyzed Lupin's apprehensive face before speaking lowly. "I won't press the issue of Potter's punishment, Lupin. I know if McGonagall is overseeing the detentions herself, there will be no special treatment. But you owe me. I may not spill your secret to Hogwarts, but I'll be damned if _that creature_ is set loose from the Shack to...play...anywhere near Hogsmeade or the castle."

Lupin's eyebrow was raised, almost questioningly, at Snape's rather modest choice of words. It had seemed almost reasonable, none of the prejudiced outburst he knew the young Slytherin to be capable of. He was ready to ask what the terms of debt were before the sarcastic voice returned. "And for Merlin's sake, grow a spine or find better friends, Lupin."

The insult served to irritate Remus, who angrily spoke on his friends' behalf. "My friends do more for me than you could understand, Snape! What sorts of things could be said about you and your choice of friends?"

Severus breath stilled, leering at him with those jet black eyes, obviously struck deeply by the Gryffindor's words. He drew closer to his visitor, speaking very slowly, the pain bubbling below the surface. "I have ONE friend, Lupin. I have always only had one friend, and yes, I do understand. I understand enough to know that I'm dangerously close to losing her if I associate with _their_ kind anymore. I believe your business here is done, so you may leave…"

* * *

During the afternoon following the practical portion of the Ancient Runes O.W.L., Lily cursed herself silently. She'd been distracted by the events of the morning and it had undoubtedly interfered with her concentration. She had worked hard for months to study and prepare for what had likely been her weakest class (besides the always-dreadful History of Magic). During the practical portion, however, they'd been assigned to organize a number of unspecified runes by civilization and identify any magical properties or mythology significant to the runes in question. Throughout the whole process, Lily couldn't stop herself from thinking how much better off she'd be had she studied with Severus.

Her thoughts were muddled and disjointed as she walked out the castle gates, her eyes on the Great Lake where she and her friends had met to relax following each exam. The same lake whose waters gleamed like a pair of black eyes...The same lake where Severus had been hurt the day before. She shook her head, turning back around, almost needing to keep herself from being near any reminders of her friend she had spent all day questioning.

That is, until Lily bumped into Remus Lupin, nearly knocking each other off their feet at her sudden change of direction.

"Merlin, Lily, what on Earth are you doing going back inside on a day like today?" he asked with his usual polite prodding he usually held with her. "Oh, I take it you're going to see Severus?"

Lily's heart sank in defeat. There truly was no escape from every possible reminder of the Slytherin boy now that the first week of O.W.L.s were over. "Not exactly, Remus. I'm a bit wary of his behavior since the incident. He's acted awfully strangely." Determined to change the subject, Lily shifted the conversation back to him. "What about you? I take it you were off doing Prefect business since you had no exam today?"

The lighthearted laughter of her fellow Gryffindor took Lily by surprise. "Funny you should ask, because I just got out from talking to Severus myself. Had to discuss some details of yesterday's fiasco and it was just the strangest thing. Walk with me, I'm curious to hear if your conversations with him were any more odd than mine."

Over the course of what seemed like an eternity, Lily vented to Remus about her observations of Severus, his seemingly odd switch from his antisocial, withdrawn self who had an attraction for behavior that repulsed her, to the almost self-assured, oddly appreciative young man who had a knack for saying things in a far less scathing way. She described the events of Avery's interruption of their talk, and the outburst that followed, though she omitted the detail of Severus' inability to cast magic, unsure of whether or not that had been the product of a show he was putting on or if had just been a freak occurrence.

The rant had been therapeutic; it gave Lily someone she could externalize her thoughts to and sort through the little details she hadn't been able to piece together. Throughout the whole process, Remus seemed oddly silent, only nodding occasionally during gaps where she tried to compose herself.

"So you see? I don't know what to think, Remus...It's just odd to me, that someone could change like that in a day, so much so that his own bloody housemate is convinced that he's gone off his rocker! What else could it be besides the blow to the head?"

Remus' eyes were settled on the ground, obviously contemplating what she had told him. "Lily, I'm going to preface this by saying that I don't know Snape like you do. But there are certain...things that he and I have a mutual understanding of. Honestly, Lily, when I spoke to Severus, I didn't feel like I was speaking to someone with an ounce of brain damage. He seemed focused, able to recall memories clearly and easily, only seemed to have this really heavy air of exhaustion about him. I won't deny that he seemed a bit reminiscent of his normal, prickly self, but a lot of what he said seemed, I dunno, halfway reasonable, and I'd never gotten that impression from him before.

"If I'd hazard a guess as to what happened to him, Lily, it isn't that he took a blow to the head that'll sort itself out in a couple of days. Plain and simply, it's that he's changed."

Remus obviously couldn't go into the talk he'd shared with Snape regarding his lycanthropy, but there was another nagging thought that he questioned whether or not it was his place to relay. As he looked into Lily's searching green eyes, the answer was quickly realized.

"I think all those talks you say you had might have finally gotten through to him. His behavior towards Avery matches something that he said to me." The Gryffindor boy smiled at his fellow Prefect. "I made a remark about his friends, and he corrected me with something so uncharacteristically heartfelt. That he only had one friend. That he'd _always_ only had one friend. He didn't specifically say who it was, but…" he paused for a moment at Lily's gasp, a rush of hope flooding her eyes. "I think it's pretty obvious who he was referring to. And it seemed that he was almost torturously sorry for ever having lost sight of that."

Lily shut her eyes; the tears that had been building from Remus' account of Severus had started to once again tug at her heart. She still had some doubts, especially since she had seen that look of murderous fury in his eyes not more than a few hours ago. The look in his eyes was the same, the threat to use _that spell_ was almost as fear-inducing as the nightmares where she had imagined him turning against her.

At the same time, however, Remus spoke with sincere confidence in what he saw from someone he barely knew. She needed to hear his assurances one more time. "You really think so, Remus? You think he's changing? That he's sorry things got so rocky?"

With a smile, Lupin put his hand comfortingly on Lily's shoulder. "Lily, if I had any doubt in Snape's mental faculties during that conversation, I wouldn't bother telling you this. I'm doing it more for your sake than for his; you deserve my honest opinion."

Lily couldn't stop a smile from spreading on her lips as she stared at her friend in gratitude. There was still a chance to fix things, despite how messy they'd become. Severus was willing to own up to his mistakes, still thought of her as his closest friend. The least she could do was see him and give it one more shot to see how much he'd truly learned.

"I think I'll be going up to the Hospital Wing, after all. Thanks so much for talking to me, Remus."

"Of course, Lily. I'll see you back in the castle for evening patrols, then."

With a newfound spring in her step, Lily ran back up to the castle entrance, thoughts ablaze with what she might say. The truth was that while she was excited that Severus might be changing for the better, she still had to make a few concerns clear to him. The chief concern of them all, was what she feared more than anything, something she HAD to make Severus see for himself if their friendship was to remain with no regrets or reservations.

As she reached the entrance to the Hospital Wing, Lily's hand pressed against the door, feeling a familiar chill from yesterday shake her. She recalled her Defense Practical, and while there had been tremendous triumph of her casting a partial Patronus Charm for extra credit, there had also been a very haunting failure. She remembered the sight of her Boggart, which had transformed itself into her greatest fear. One that she had been unable to conquer.

**Author's Note: Thanks so much for all of the positive feedback and reviews so far. It really means a lot that anyone would take the time to share their thoughts on my work, but that only helps further my motivation of getting chapters done more quickly. As I mentioned in an earlier note, I'm laying the groundwork, which is why very little time has passed in the story since the first Chapter. There's a number of things about Severus and Lily that need to be explained before they can really go further. Once all this is done though, the pace will quicken and there will hopefully be less exposition. As always, more feedback from the audience is welcomed and greatly appreciated!**


	5. Chapter 4: A Vow Made in Flame

**Disclaimer: Still not J.K. Rowling, and still don't have any ownership over the characters I am portraying. Nonetheless, I hope that the below chapter is well-received; it's one of the most important ones in the story.**

Severus continued to absentmindedly read his fifth-year Potions textbook, letting his eyes blindly pass over information that had long since become second nature to him. It was more a habit to calm himself than anything else, the feel of the parchment against his fingers reminded him of times where he felt less overwhelmed by the reality of his life, a time that he had returned to yet felt like a stranger in.

It had been during his fifth year that Severus started scribbling in the margins, making corrections and improvements to his potion recipes, a habit Lily frequently teased him playfully for. Though it hadn't been until the N.E.W.T. level classes that his ideas had run so rampant that his copy of _Advanced Potion-Making_ was literally covered in writing, both in his potion improvements and his custom-created spells.

Breaking the silence and his daydream was the voice of a certain redhead. "A knut for your thoughts?"

Severus' eyes shot up to meet those lovely green emeralds adorning the face of Lily, honestly surprised that she had returned considering her rush to leave this morning. "Lily? What are you doing here?" his voice shook with honest bewilderment.

Lily's peaceful smile she'd been wearing turned upside-down into a rather adorable pout. "What? Can I not see my friend when he's hurt? It's the least I could do with how I left earlier." She took her seat at his bedside, letting her right hand rest on his shoulder as the smile returned. "Honestly, Sev, I came to talk...and I mean REALLY talk. It's been awhile since we've done anything but row or share small banter, and I want to know what's going on in that mysterious head of yours."

His left hand slowly rose from his lap to press lightly against Lily's, the feel of her skin for the first time in over twenty-years sent a quaking shiver down his spine. It was so warm, so smooth, so inviting, that he couldn't stop the reflex of interlocking his fingers with hers. "What would you like to know?"

His motion startled Lily, who eyed their joined hands with an uncertain gaze. She had expected a reaction more along the lines of 'None of your business'; that would've been more characteristic of Severus, yet he almost dared her to proceed. Then again, nothing seemed characteristic of Severus anymore. "Everything. There's so much I want to know with how differently you've been acting...I've had my doubts that I'm even speaking to the same person anymore."

Taken aback by her honesty, Severus realized in that moment that his natural response: to lie, to hide, to misdirect as had been his duty for the past several years, was impossible. Looking into those deep, green eyes, eyes that were in the _right face_ once again, he knew he could only speak the truth. "I doubt I can do much to make you think otherwise; but I won't lie to you, Lily. Ask me _anything_, and I'll give you an honest answer."

An inaudible gasp sent Lily's thoughts into a whirlwind as a million questions circled into her head, yet there was one that she had speculated for a long time. Before, it was something she almost didn't want to find out, for fear of complicating things, but the way Severus answered, it was a clear invitation to spill her speculations. If nothing else, she'd get a pulse on whether he truly meant what he'd said about honesty. An almost mischievous smile curled her lips upward. "Well for starters, do you have a crush on me, Sev?"

Lily had expected a dismissive snort, an embarrassed choke, or stuttered rambling dancing around the question. Any of those would have matched the shy Severus who seemed taken with her for a few years now. What she got, however, almost made HER speechless instead.

"Lily, I've never heard a more foolish question come from such a brilliant witch. To ask me to generalize my feelings for you as a 'crush' would be silly. But if it's an answer you're looking for, then yes, I suppose I do." Severus didn't blink, didn't turn away. In fact, it almost seemed like his answer was the most natural response in the world, like she'd asked him where a bezoar came from. His ebony eyes stared at her with an almost bored gaze, daring her to ask something more challenging. Yet she vaguely noticed the grip of their hands had tightened ever-so-slightly.

Lily stared wide-eyed at her friend, completely blown away by his answer. This wasn't the insecure Severus from down the road who seemed to have a chip on his shoulder, a constant need to validate himself as above everything ordinary in the world. This Sev was a fountain of self-control and despite her memories, seemed quite comfortable in his own skin. Clearly, he was more different now than she'd dared to dream before.

"Wh-what?! Sev…" she trailed off, her eyes searching, hungry to know more. "How long..?"

"Since always. I can't remember a time since I met you where I _wasn't_ fascinated by you."

There it was again, almost stronger than before, if such a thing were possible. The strength in his voice, the absolute knowledge and comfort in his own words. Her eyes drifted again to their joined hands, a deep crimson flooding over her features as the truth came crashing down. Severus Snape had fancied her, for much longer than she'd dared to expect. It made so much sense, though. His immediate feud with James Potter had run more deeply and personally than she'd guessed, and she was the center of a great deal more animosity than just House loyalty or blood status.

As the blush slowly faded however, and reality became clear, Lily's expression hardened and her voice became more serious. "Then I suppose that makes this conversation all the more important, doesn't it?" Taking a deep breath in to compose herself, she continued. "If you care so much about me, then you understand why your behavior has hurt me so…What happened to us, Sev? We came into Hogwarts together, best friends. Yet for over a year now, I've had fears that we won't be leaving it together. That if you became anymore lost and untrue to yourself, anymore like _them_ that my best friend would be gone.

"I always thought we'd be the exception to the Slytherin-Gryffindor rivalry. But now, it's like we've been letting something like that define our relationship...We fight almost constantly, you're always on the defensive, and yet I see and hear _terrible_ things about you that you can't even deny. I go to bed every night wondering if my friend will be there in the morning."

She continued, gazing deeper into those eyes, seeing the pain rippling through those black pools. Lily had to choose her words very carefully like Severus had done lately, knew that was the only way to make her point without another row starting. "Look at me, Sev. I know I've made more than my fair share of accusations toward you and spent less time with you lately. I'm sorry for that, and I'm sure that only sent you closer to that Slytherin gang, but I don't know if I can bear it continuing anymore."

Lily's eyes began to flood with tears as she recalled the Defense Practical. She had to say it, even though the memory haunted her. She had to help him see why it was so important to her that he stop going on his path that would hurt her so. "Sev, I want us to be best friends again. So I'm going to confide something very personal to you, and I want you to promise never to tell anyone."

Severus nodded numbly, regretting that there had _ever_ been a time where Lily's trust in him had been compromised. He already resigned himself to change for her, never to repeat the mistakes of his foolish childhood, but sought to indulge whatever she was about to tell him.

Lily closed her eyes tightly, her voice was shaking, almost fearful that he would take what she was about to say so personally that he'd never speak to her again. "Yesterday, something very awful happened to me at the end of the Defense Against the Dark Arts practical. You remember that portion where we were taken individually by the professor to a private room and were tested on the Patronus Charm and repelling a Boggart?"

Lily's voice began to quake harder, the tears streaming through her tightly shut eyes despite her attempts to keep calm. "_You_ were my Boggart, Sev. I saw you wearing that dreadful Death Eater garb, minus the mask...I saw nothing but hatred for me in your eyes. You had your wand pointed at me...called me a worthless _Mudblood_, and cast _that spell_ on me and my family, your Sectumsempra…" She started to hyperventilate, unable to shake it out of her mind. "You said we were unworthy of a quick death, that the Killing Curse was too merciful for all the times that I tried to change who you wanted to be...You cut down Tuney...Mum...Daddy...and turned your wand to me!"

Lily ripped her hand out of the hold of her friend and buried her face in both of her hands, weeping uncontrollably. "I couldn't cast Riddikulus successfully. I kept trying to tell myself that it wasn't real, that you couldn't possibly say that word to me. But the confidence didn't come. I knew you'd called other Muggleborns that name, and in that moment, I couldn't muster any faith in you...The Professor had to step in, and I'm almost certain that my grade dropped at least one level...as if something silly like a grade matters when you can't shake the feeling that your best friend might _hate_ you…"

Throughout Lily's hysterical sobbing, Severus' eyes shot open with a terrible realization. _"That's why she never forgave you, you damned imbecile!" _Suddenly, things made so much sense. He had been turning into her absolute worst fear. It didn't matter how sorry he was that he'd called her that; she had trouble convincing herself that he wouldn't, couldn't call her that vile word. And once he had, nothing was off the table. In her eyes, the notion of her Boggart becoming reality was so fresh in her mind that she couldn't afford to give him another chance. The sight of Lily's shivering form was more painful than anything he'd ever experienced. He couldn't stop himself from wrapping his arms tightly around her, wanting nothing more than to protect her from all of her fears and sadness.

Lily's sobs quieted when she felt his embrace, followed by the most delicate voice she had ever heard Severus muster, whisper into her ears. "I'm so sorry...more than you could ever understand, Lily, I'm sorry for EVERYTHING. The only thing I could say to help you see is to tell you of my own Boggart."

"We saw it in third year, Sev...I already know that your greatest fear is your dad's abuse…"

"No!" he quietly snapped. It had been true, at one time, that Severus was most scared of his father. That had indeed been his Boggart during this point in time of his first life, but he had to tell her, give her a more complete picture of who he was _now_, not _then_. "Lily, my Boggart, my greatest fear, is seeing you dead. Murdered. Your corpse laying on the ground before me. That light in your beautiful eyes gone, _never_ to return." His words continued pouring out, unable to keep from confessing his sins to her. "It was all MY fault! I didn't kill you, but I as good as did it! I stood by and let you die. And for what?! Blood purity, Slytherin ideals, and a fool who calls himself the Dark Lord? None of it was worth a damn! I didn't realize what was truly important to me until it was too late! I never forgave myself for that, Lily."

Lily became deathly still in his arms, backing away slightly so she could look into his obsidian eyes again. The emeralds gleamed with the tears, but also with a dawning understanding. "Oh Sev...That's why you-!" With a beautiful smile bursting forth from the sadness, she kissed his cheek swiftly, tightly returning the embrace as she rested her chin on his shoulder. "That's what you saw...that's why you've been so different since right after the Defense Exam! I was so scared that it was just the concussion, that you'd turn back after you recovered. But this is you, this is really you, isn't it?!"

Severus barely processed Lily's reaction, her kiss leaving a wonderful warmth on his cheek as he held their embrace. She thought it was just a Boggart. Could he tell her the real truth? That all of it had actually happened in another life. Would she believe him? Would she hate him for it if she did? He pushed all of that into the back of his mind; he would tell her some other time when it didn't add to a pile of overwhelming confessions. As it was, he answered her pleading question. "Yes, it is me, Lily. I'm sorry it took so bloody long for me to grow up, but it's me."

It made so much sense to Lily as she was nestled in Severus' arms. The change in attitude, his defending her from Avery, it was all from being shaken by a Boggart. She found herself not wanting to leave his arms, the embrace promising such a newfound sense of safety that she almost felt ashamed at ever distrusting or being scared of him to begin with. Yet there was a nagging feeling, the memory from earlier today that she had to confront him about.

Letting her arms drop to her sides and return to her seat, Lily felt a stab of longing that was almost subconscious in its origin. Still, it gave her an opportunity to look into his eyes again, with a strange shift in the sensations it brought. Suddenly, it wasn't like drowning in a pool, but being surrounded by an armor, an aura of protection that his eyes offered her. "Sev, you have no idea how happy that makes me...to know how much you really care. I almost feel ashamed to admit this, but there's something else I want you to promise me-"

"Anything." Severus interrupted.

His response so automatic that it startled Lily. She believed him, but the nagging feeling wouldn't go away until she let it out. "Sev, earlier today, you threatened Avery...You know I find him repulsive, but your willingness to threaten another person with a spell like that…" she shuddered. "There are other ways to defend yourself, Sev. Sectumsempra _frightens_ me. You're such a brilliant wizard; you've created a lot of spells and I know you could make so many better ones. That wonderful person I know you can be, you could share it with the world around you. I just can't believe that you could make something like that, with seemingly no other purpose but to severely harm someone else…"

Lily shook her head, the tears returning, slightly less than before. "You're not that kind of person, Sev. That spell can _kill_. It causes wounds that are difficult to impossible to heal."

Lily's voice was quivering in obvious pain, her frantic sadness threatening to cause another breakdown. Yet she couldn't break eye contact, needed him to hear her out. "Promise me, Sev! You're not a murderer! Promise me you'll _never_ cast that spell again! Please, Sev! Promise me!"

Severus simply stared, speechless at her pleading, almost unable to believe a spell could affect her so deeply. Then again, he supposed a great part of her aversion to Sectumsempra was the nature of her Boggart. The truth of the matter was that he hadn't killed anyone with Sectumsempra, ever. The only two people he had killed during his life were with the Killing Curse, one of which had been arranged in advance, yet _both of which_ had left severe wounds on his soul. Still, she continued to stare, with eyes that could cut deeper than his signature spell, cut him to his core, where his only desire was to make things right for Lily.

Severus didn't respond to Lily's pleading with words of his own, as a deeper instinct took root in his body. He looked down at the Potions textbook in his lap, gripping it in his hands and flipping the pages rapidly. He knew the page by heart: Page 394. Upon reaching his destination, he eyed the spell's incantation and the vague notation of its purpose. 'For Enemies'.

Once more, the black eyes met the green as Severus ripped the page out of his book, showing it to Lily without a word. Immediately, his hand tightened, crumpling up the page and its violent contents into a ball as a tender look was shared in both of their eyes. _"It's still not enough…"_ Severus could dimly hear his subconscious telling him, as his love for Lily began to build up, burning to a fever pitch until it became all he could focus on.

Suddenly, the crumpled ball of parchment lit up in his hand, burning in a conflagration of Bluebell Flames. The cold fire burned harmlessly, blanketing both of their emotional faces with its gentle, azure glow. How he had cast the spell, or why this charm, Severus didn't know. And in this moment, it hardly mattered to him. As the charring remains of the page burned to ash in his hand, only four simple words escaped his lips. "Never again...I promise."

After a few moments, the flames dissolved and the glow faded. Yet as it did, Lily's face was positively glowing on its own with happiness at his gesture. She reached forward again, wrapping her arms around Severus, letting out a sigh radiating with absolute contentment. "I'm glad to have you back, Sev…"

Severus smiled against the shoulder of Lily as he returned the embrace. "I'm glad to have you back too, Lily…"

"_So much more than I think you can imagine…"_ he added mentally.

**Author's Note: Phew. I spent a great deal of time trying to write this particular chapter, as it has a number of things in it that are going to define Severus and Lily's relationship path over the course of this fanfiction. I tried to integrate the fact that their original relationship had fallen apart right after the Defense O.W.L. I gave Lily a Boggart that wouldn't be so outlandish and out of character, yet still give it a purpose as to why she never forgave Sev despite how obviously remorseful he was.**

**Regarding Sectumsempra: Lily has a very strong aversion to Dark Magic that's obviously displayed in the books. Now, while Dark Magic isn't necessarily Evil Magic, the fact that Severus created a curse with such dangerous potential would shake her deeply considering how important he was to her. Can non-Dark spells have the potential to kill? Of course. But Sectumsempra was created _explicitly_ for the purpose of harming his enemies with a spell that, if forceful enough, could (and has in the books) dismember someone permanently or cause death by blood loss. That fact alone, I'm sure put a strain on their relationship. And so the promise to never cast it again has been made.**

**As always, I appreciate all of the feedback and reviews, and hope this chapter is my most well-received yet; it's the one I spent by far the most time on. Please continue to review and let me know what you all think; I really enjoy reading the thoughts that others have on my work!**


	6. Chapter 5: A Mysterious Rune

**Disclaimer: Still not J.K. Rowling, still don't have ownership of the Harry Potter franchise.**

Saturday morning, Lily quickly returned to the Hospital Wing to spend time with Severus. The well of conversation just seemed endless between them; there was so much that they had been keeping from each other due to their strained relationship that the pair were making up for lost time. Yet despite everything that had happened, whatever she wanted to talk about, Severus obliged without the slightest hesitation. There was small talk of their home lives and plans for the Summer, which would begin shortly after O.W.L.s were over the following weekend.

Lily knew enough about Severus' life in Spinner's End to know that it was not a subject he wished to discuss. He had never explicitly told her the nature of his relationship with his parents, but seeing what had been his Boggart during third year told Lily a truth that she really didn't want to know. It was clear from that incident that Tobias Snape had been an abusive, horrible man to both Severus and his mother, Eileen. It explained so much to her, his loathing for the ordinary, his rejection of his last name in favor of his secret pseudonym, The Half-Blood Prince, and his need to be part of something due to all of the hatred he'd received from both his father and the Marauders.

Lily understood, begrudgingly, what had originally attracted Severus to the Death Eaters-to-be who made up half of Slytherin house. Alas, understanding did not mean accepting, so she promised herself prior to going to bed the night before that she would be more attentive of Sev's plights, be there for him as she hadn't been before so as to keep him on the brighter path he seemed to be committed to. It almost surprised Lily how little of it actually seemed to matter to him, as if he'd been set on changing for far longer than the day she knew it had been between the Defense O.W.L. and their heartfelt reconciliation. But she was determined to take her friend at his word; so much distrust and unspoken concerns had been the cause of their rift, and she'd not let it happen again.

There was only one thing that seemed to truly be weighing down on the mind of Severus Snape: his mysterious ailment. Lily knew Sev's love for the magical world, remembered how excited he was when he introduced her to all of those concepts when they were children, and she knew how helpless he'd felt during Summer when magic was forbidden. The fact that it was vastly approaching probably did no favors for him considering his loss of magical control.

Severus had confided in her that those two castings of Langlock and the Bluebell Flames had been entirely accidental, that he was unsure of how it had happened. The only comfort it brought him was that he hadn't suddenly been rendered a Squib by his rebirth, and his inability to intentionally cast didn't leave him much better off than one. It was a mystery that Lily was determined to help her friend solve, and so she made a suggestion that she could tell he wasn't enthused by.

"Come on, Sev, if anyone will be able to know how to fix it, it's the Headmaster!"

Sighing audibly, Severus sat unsure of how to explain his reluctance to Lily about going to Dumbledore. "Lily, Dumbledore is obviously a busy man. Why would he pay my situation any mind when that's more the duty of Slughorn?"

"Because it's highly unusual, Sev, why else? Madam Pomfrey hasn't detected or diagnosed the issue, so we know it runs deeper than just something physical. Maybe all the stress from the Boggart, Potter's bullying, and the concussion is causing some kind of a block on your magical core? Or perhaps there's something much darker at work here and it could be a curse." she shuddered, adding that notion in only as a last resort.

"Anyway, if I can set you up in a meeting with the Headmaster, will you PLEASE give me permission to describe your problems to him? I don't want this as some dark cloud hanging over your summer vacation, Sev…Please?"

Severus snorted in his trademark fashion that had become known as a begrudging agreement to Lily. He didn't like the idea of giving a legendary manipulator like Dumbledore any information to press an advantage if it could be avoided. Nonetheless, he couldn't very well ignore the pair of pleading, emerald eyes that were shining just feet away from him. Nor that satisfied smile that she gave when she knew she had him.

"_Bloody teenage hormones,"_ Severus thought with mild disgust as he continued with his half-smile. "Pity about this injury, though. Today's the last Hogsmeade weekend of the year, I was rather curious to see if you'd be free to join me assuming I made some miraculous recovery and was released within the hour."

With one eyebrow perking up questioningly, Lily shook her head in disbelief. _"Merlin, Sev, when did you get so forward?"_ She avoided responding positively or negatively to her friend's flirtatious remark, instead laughing jokingly. "Hogsmeade's going to be overrun by us Prefects, so I'll be busy anyway. Lots of students are going to be hiding in the more private areas in The Three Broomsticks and The Hog's Head to get, well...some personal time. This is the last weekend to go before term ends, so they'll be getting in all of their last-minute snogging."

Severus snorted again, remembering the times he'd essentially been the Sex Police during his time teaching. He knew the Prefect girl would have her hands full. "Well don't stay out too long. If all the students realize that so many of you are out patrolling Hogsmeade they might put two brain cells together and realize that Hogwarts is the safer option." He dimly thought to himself that it was a good thing so few students knew about the Room of Requirement, lest their escapades be more successful.

Lily nodded with a knowing smile. "I should be going. Thanks for the company as always, Sev. I'll be sure to ask McGonagall if she can set aside some time with the Headmaster this weekend. In the meantime, don't overstrain yourself." She knew that Madam Pomfrey would run her friend through the usual tests to see whether or not he'd be released today or tomorrow. She wanted to be there to support Severus, but the last week of term was always the busiest for Prefects. She instead promised to see him tomorrow.

After the clock tower let out a single gong signifying one o'clock, Madam Pomfrey exited her office to speak with Severus. "Alright, Mr. Snape. So far, it seems like you've been making great strides toward recovery, but we can't be too careful with concussions. Honestly, we take them as seriously as Muggles do because it's so difficult to treat them any better than they can. All I'm going to do here is give you a series of cognitive tests to make sure everything is in order."

It was such a bore to Severus, who had obviously avoided more of the serious side-effects that followed a concussion. She led him through a sequence of reflex exercises, memory tests, reaction to light and movement stimuli, before finally finishing with keeping his balance while walking. Indeed, there was nothing magical about concussions, their treatment, or testing for lingering side-effects.

"Very good. You're quite lucky the injury wasn't worse. From what Miss Evans described of the incident, you very easily could have broken your neck. But enough of how it could be worse; she also brought you a change of robes, courtesy of Professor Slughorn. You're welcome to wash up in the Hospital's bathroom before we release you."

Severus turned the handle of the private shower, letting the cool water flow through his hair and down his body. Closing his eyes, he began to lose himself in his thoughts, still wondering if he'd continue to exist when opened them back up. It had been a jarring couple of days for him, even if it had been spent in the confines of the Hospital Wing. Rebirth was a concept only discussed in the most asinine of Muggle fairy tales; the wizarding world had long held to the beliefs that whatever was dead stayed dead, short of reanimation as an Inferius.

Running his hands through his hair to let the water soak through his grimy locks that hadn't been cleaned in days, he continued to ponder. _"The last this Dumbledore heard of Severus Snape was to give a vow of secrecy never to spill Lupin's ailment to anyone. I venture a guess that not even the word of one of his precious Gryffindors will make him see me as anything but trouble. Even if it IS Lily Evans…"_

_Lily_

Snapping his eyes open to keep his mind on the matter at hand proved fruitless. Those endless, black eyes settled on a bottle of enchanted shampoo, charmed to adjust to the scent most pleasing to the wearer. He shook his head with a snort of derision, unable to believe the stray, adolescent thoughts that would sometimes poke into his focus. Reaching for the bottle, he took a moment to decide how far he truly wished to change from the awkward, greasy teenager he knew he had been. Even though he had long since changed in his previous life, Severus stuck to old habits, thought it more effective to be feared by all of his students than to be swooned over by the females just like Gilderoy Lockhart had been. There had been no reason to worry about his appearance in that life anyway, not after _she_ died.

Now that Lily was here again, and he had a chance, however farfetched, to steer his life away from the disaster that had been his previous one, there was little choice as he opened the bottle, if for no other reason than to see what her reaction would be.

"_Bloody, goddamn, teenage hormones!"_

The creamy concoction had no smell, until it was lathered on his hair andit finally burst forth: the lovely smell of fresh, Spring rain. It boggled his imagination how rain could have an aroma; though Severus knew it was without a doubt his favorite.

"_Because it was the scent she used."_

Even after Lily's death, the rain relaxed Severus. Oftentimes he would walk during the rainy days while staying at Spinner's End; the pattering of the droplets against his robes did little to shake the blissful release it offered. It was as if nature was manifesting the storms within his own mind and projecting them outward, allowing a time where he hadn't needed Occlumency to maintain his controlled exterior. Cool showers were an alright substitute, but nothing was quite like the feeling of being enveloped by a gentle rain.

It finally occurred to Severus how foolishly sentimental he was being, after having spent nearly _a half hour_ soaking in the shower, that fragrance of Spring rain continuing to absorb into his hair and his skin. It was easy for him to lose track of time when his thoughts drifted to Lily, remembering the feel of her soft hands, the tenderness of her lips when she kissed his cheek the previous day...

"_Enough!"_

He quickly turned the faucet handle the opposite direction, unwilling to waste anymore time musing about the past because as far as this life was concerned, it didn't exist anymore, and was merely a tool to learn from foolish mistakes.

Severus rubbed the warm, linen towel across his hair, turning to see that 16-year old in the mirror for the first time since his journey back started. He rubbed his hands across his face curiously; none of the stress of his previous life was visible on his skin. Though if there were anything that gave away who Severus Snape was in mind, not body, it was his eyes. Gone was the wide-eyed awkwardness, the foolish ambitions that blinded both his dreams and his actions. All that seemed to remain was a piercing glare, one that was instinctively softened around his love, but there was also an ever-pervasive sense of apathy and exhaustion. Try as he might with his talent as a spy, he could not shift his eyes in a way that had anything reminiscent of the old Severus.

And if he were honest with himself, he couldn't care less about playing the part of some idiotic boy who'd given up everything for blind ambitions of fame and glory. If Lily or any of his other classmates noticed the change in the way he carried himself, so be it.

As the steamy fog began clearing from the bathroom mirror, Severus' eyes scanned across his body, taking the reality of his situation in as he saw everything before him at last. It was all there. The hooked nose, the pale skin that hadn't turned sallow quite yet, the scar on his shoulder where his father had ripped flesh open with the belt…

"_Wait, what the hell is that?!"_

His eyes bulged when he looked upon a very wrong sight in his reflection. Something affixed, tattooed, to his otherwise ordinary, scrawny chest, just over his heart. He dashed towards the mirror, studying the shape, having never seen anything like it before, certainly not on his body during his previous life. The mysterious scar was the shape of a lemniscate, albeit distorted, with both curves bent upwards to take the shape of a heart of its own.

Upon closer examination, the curved figure-eight did not seem to be cut into his skin, not like he remembered Harry Potter's lightning-bolt scar to be. This symbol seemed to be more in line with a birthmark, or in this case, a rebirth mark, one that was no bigger than his eye. There was no sense as he studied the mark that it was the product of dark magic; it had been unlike anything he'd ever seen, and he had been well-educated in the Dark Arts.

Severus slowly dressed himself, eyes locked on his chest the entire time before it was finally obscured by his school shirt. Only after pulling on his robe was it clear to him; that mark was a Rune, one which he was certain was connected to what Dumbledore had mentioned prior to his rebirth.

Severus' brow furrowed as he stepped out of the bathroom fully dressed, towards Madam Pomfrey's office. He knew that mark HAD to be a Rune, though its meaning or origin was completely unknown to him. _"Seems I have some business to discuss with Professor Babbling during next week's make-up O.W.L." _

**Author's Note: A bit of a shorter chapter detail-wise, but I need to get Severus out of that damned hospital wing, so we're finally starting to move forward a little bit. Next chapter will probably condense Saturday evening through Wednesday night's Astronomy O.W.L., so I expect it to be quite a bit longer than previous chapters. Expect a confrontation with the Marauders to take place. Will Lily notice more changes in Severus' demeanor? And what is the meaning behind that strange symbol etched above our favorite Slytherin's heart?**

**As always, I appreciate reviews on the chapters. I love reading others' thoughts on the character development, or fan speculation on the twists the Fic will take.**


	7. Chapter 6: A New You

**DISCLAIMER: I am not J.K. Rowling nor do I claim any ownership of the Harry Potter franchise, names, or characters. Merely an aspiring writer who wishes to add on to the already wonderful story.**

Taking a deep breath of the fresh, spring air, Severus descended the front steps of Hogwarts Castle. It was strange to him, looking down upon the horizon and seeing Hogsmeade in the distance. This place, which had been his home for nearly three decades, never seemed brighter and more picturesque than it was now. He knew the danger remained; after all, Voldemort was still at large, as was James Potter in the prime of his delinquency. Yet somehow, Severus found comfort in the fact that he was equipped with the knowledge to make a difference. He also had the skill, assuming he could decipher the meaning of that cryptic rune.

The clock tower struck four in the afternoon. Time was always something so vital to Severus. After Lily had been killed by Voldemort, he had to keep himself grounded, to be organized and scheduled. He knew it was a trait that, of the rest of the Hogwarts staff, was only shared by Minerva McGonagall, which was probably why he had such a high respect and rivalry with the head of Gryffindor.

Catching himself in that thought, the young Slytherin sighed in frustration. He was no student. Despite all of his desire to blend in and not attract attention, it would be impossible for him to truly act as he or any other student was supposed to. He knew that already, he was defying expectations with his behavior, Lily's in particular.

"_Isn't that a good thing, though?"_ came the loud voice within himself, far louder than it had been during his previous life. He thought it might be, with his sudden burst in maturity, hostility towards his vile housemates, and a sudden tolerance for Muggleborns. Still, if it were too much, he'd risk revealing his secret to Lily, which he couldn't bring himself to do until he was sure she could wrap her mind around the concept. And even if she did understand, how would she react to him having been everything she feared in the past? Would she care that he changed everything he was for her? Or would that matter at all?

His thoughts were once again broken by that ever-present voice that sent tingles through him. "Sev!" He snapped to attention, seeing Lily rapidly approaching him with a smile and a wave. Clearly, she had arrived early from the Hogsmeade trip.

Lily couldn't hide the astonishment in her face as she approached her friend. The fact that Severus was already out walking both surprised and concerned her; she knew how stubborn he was and how restless he could be during stays in the Hospital Wing. The shock only heightened as she got closer, and noticed the uncharacteristic shine in his hair. Not only that, there was also the unmistakable aroma of fresh, Spring rain, which had been her favorite.

"_Merlin, he smells good…"_ she thought, unable to stop herself from staring, just feet away from him.

Severus dimly noticed her sudden change in demeanor and tried to diffuse the situation in his usual way. "Lily? Going to tell me how your patrols went, or are you content in staring at me?"

"Wha...oh!" she broke from her trance, blushing at her behavior. "R-right. Sorry, Sev. Well, it was mostly uneventful like you said it might be, but…" she drifted off, starting to giggle.

It almost felt like a crime for Severus to interrupt such a sweet-sounding laughter, but after a moment, it was clear she was waiting for a response. "But..?"

Lily's giggling had become uncontrollable at this point. "But what's a low-end Prefect supposed to say when the Head Boy and Head Girl are the violators? Frank and Alice were in the back corner of The Three Broomsticks, snogging each other silly!"

Smirking at Lily's amusement, Severus joked. "Your hands are certainly tied on that one, Lily. Should have told Professor McGonagall; she'd have dealt with it.

Lily gently slapped his shoulder in a false anger. "You rude, little git! I guarantee they'll be engaged before Summer's End, so why would I be that petty? Why punish what's inevitable?"

Severus shrugged, content to merely gaze into those eyes which always had such a profound effect on him. Unfortunately, the moment was broken by a VERY unwelcome interruption. "Hey, Evans! He bothering you?"

Severus noticed the gentleness in Lily's eyes turn into annoyance at the intrusion. After a moment of ignoring him, she called back to the voice behind them. "Bugger off, Potter! I'm only going to warn you once!" she spoke sharply.

The pair turned to see James Potter descending the castle steps with Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew trailing closely behind. "Don't feed me that rubbish, Evans! I saw you hit him! Surely he's done something to offend so lovely a lady!"

"As it happens, Potter, Severus and I were in the middle of a pleasant conversation before you came trying to play hero!"

James' face curled into a sneer. "And when has anything about this greasy prick ever been pleasant?"

Lily's face puffed in anger at her housemate's insult, but before she could react to the comment, Severus started walking towards James. His stride was swift as he walked with an intimidating sense of purpose. His school robes were billowing behind him in the wind, not dragging sluggishly on the ground as she had remembered.

The anger faded somewhat as she observed yet another change in her childhood friend. _"Sev, when did you start walking so...confidently..?"_

"I'm right here, Potter. Assuming you still possess that Gryffindor bravado, try speaking to me directly."

James' eyes twitched with absolute revulsion before turning to Sirius. "Look, Padfoot! Snape's gone and washed his hair!"

The long-haired Gryffindor boy laughed at his friend's observation. "Pity he can't get himself a new nose while he's at it! Nice shampoo can only do so much to help, Snivelly!"

Severus snorted with amusement, unable to believe such childish words had ever meant anything to him. His black eyes settled on the leader of the Marauders. "Tell me something, Potter. Thursday, at the lake, you told Lily why you loathe me so. Care to repeat why to my face?"

James' eyes showed a hint of uncertainty before staring right back at his rival with annoyance. "You practice dark magic. You're well on your way to becoming Death Eater scum. You deserve everything I've ever given you and more, Snape, because _you exist_. What is there to like?" His eyes darted to Lily's in the briefest of moments, almost as if he were trying to convince her of his words.

Severus' smirk returned as he noticed the motion. _"Checkmate, Potter. I hardly need magic to defeat you anymore."_

"Wrong. You've had it out for me since the day Lily and I boarded the train. You, the pampered little brat who wouldn't know the first thing of hardship. You've been handed everything you've ever had in life and take it almost as a challenge when you get rejected. Yes, I have no doubt that you despise my existence, Potter." he started circling around James with that predatory march he'd gained while he was a teacher at Hogwarts. "But what you hate is my existence in Lily's life. You hate the fact that to her, you're just Potter, while I am Sev."

There was a resounding pride in each word Severus spoke. For so long he had known why James Potter had issues with him, why he had thrown the first stone with his insult on the Hogwarts Express when they were kids. And for years, he had harbored that grudge, albeit unfairly, against Harry Potter that he had never had that true opportunity to rattle his Gryffindor opponent's confidence. But until now, he was in no position to feel anything short of regret about it. Now, however, there was reason to speak with defiant pride to his long-time nemesis.

A hint of rage spread through James' features as he drew his wand and pointed it at Severus. "What you ARE is nothing, you Slimy bastard! Stu-"

"Expelliarmus!"

James' wand shot out of his hand as all three of the present Marauders turned their shocked faces to Lily, who had her wand in hand. The look in her eyes was all too familiar to Severus; that absolute disgust she had given him outside of Gryffindor Tower was now aimed solely at James Potter.

"You have a lot of nerve trying to attack my friend the day he gets out of the Hospital Wing! Where, may I add, you put him in the first place!" Lily's lips were trembling with fury, unable to believe the audacity of her housemate. "I told you to get lost, Potter, but you couldn't leave well enough alone, could you?!" She marched up the grassy hill, taking her place beside Severus as her glare hardened further, if such a thing were possible.

"Seventy points from Gryffindor for your BLATANT disregard for a fellow student's well-being!"

"Wh-SEVENTY?! That takes us out of the lead and puts Gryffindor way behind Slytherin! You can't do that this close to the end, Evans!"

"I can, and I did, Potter! McGonagall's already furious at what you did to Sev. Any more of this stupidity and you can bet the 'Star Chaser' on Gryffindor will lose his spot next year!"

Lily turned to Severus, her eyes lightening considerably with relief that she had stopped something from possibly complicating his recovery. "Come on, Sev. Let's go for a walk and continue without any interruptions." she said, gently taking his hand in hers and leaving after one, final glare in James' direction.

* * *

"So I believe congratulations to Slytherin are in order?" Lily announced, turning to her friend with a grin.

"That was hardly necessary, Lily. I don't care about who wins the House Cup."

"No, but he did. Been boasting about it in the Common Room every night this week as if he's the reason we were winning." The frustration was obvious in Lily's voice. Despite her physical attraction to James, her likeness for his personality was clearly at an all-time low.

"What about your other friends in Gryffindor? Won't it reflect poorly if you taking points away is the reason you don't get the Cup?"

"Sweet of you to ask, Sev. But I had to do something. I've sat there and watched Potter humiliate you enough times that I'd feel guilty if I weren't there for you again…" She turned to him with a sweet smile, gripping his hand affectionately. "Especially since you were there for me yesterday with Avery."

Lily and Severus had arrived at the edge of the school grounds, looking down at the beautiful sight of Hogsmeade in the distance. Having stopped walking to take in the view, Lily realized after a minute that she had unconsciously leaned onto his shoulder and was once again taking in the fragrance of fresh rain. She could feel from the heat in her cheeks that she was blushing intensely, though from what specifically, she couldn't decide.

"Sev? How can someone change so much in such a short time..? It's like a new you. Everything about you, the way you speak, the way you walk, your posture, even around James Potter when you'd normally become prickly and explosive...You carry yourself like a prince…Erm, not like your mum's family, I mean a real prince." she caught herself, unable to believe how rude that sounded. "I mean...I didn't mean that as a bad thing, just that I don't know what your mum's family was like…" Lily ceased her rambling, unable to believe how much this new Severus was unravelling her composure around him. She was embarrassed at her implication that Severus' wizarding side was not one of the elegance and grace he was showing.

Lily's head was down; she couldn't bear to look at Severus lest he see her face blushing almost as red as her hair. Yet she relaxed when he put his arm around her far shoulder and pressed her closer to him, relieved to hear a slight chuckle from her dearest friend. "I understand what you meant, Lily. Thank you for the compliment."

She sighed cheerfully at his assurances, even more content that she was closer to him. _"I feel so safe with him now...like Voldemort himself could come to Hogwarts and I know Sev would sooner protect me, the Muggleborn, than kneel to him. He's blossomed so...wonderfully...it can't just be from that Boggart he saw, no matter how horrifying it was."_

That thought provoked Lily's question out loud, not wanting to hold anything back from her best friend anymore. "It wasn't just meant as a compliment, Sev. I don't understand why you act so...mature, so adult about everything now, not just your old Slytherin politics. It's jarring to me every time I'm around you because I notice a handful more things that surprise me about you. Will you tell me why that is, Sev? It's not just that Boggart, is it?"

Severus took in a sharp breath which he was sure Lily noticed. "I said I would answer you honestly about anything, Lily. The truth is, I'm not sure I know quite how to explain it myself" He turned her head to face him, those onyx beads almost magnetized to the deep emeralds. "I promise, I will tell you this Summer, once I have everything straight. But it's extremely important that I can explain it to you properly…" his voice shook, giving in to the inevitability that he'd have to tell Lily everything sooner than he'd wanted.

She nodded gently, feeling the aura of protection his black eyes offered once again. "Alright, Sev...Oh! I'd forgotten to mention, I spoke with Professor McGonagall today, and you, Mr. Snape, have an appointment with the Headmaster after lunch tomorrow afternoon! It'll probably be the last opportunity you have before next term, so make the most of it and don't hold anything back, okay?"

Severus nodded in return, his meeting with Dumbledore another thing that was sooner than he'd have preferred. But Lily had gone to bat for him and had given him the opportunity to speak with his former confidant; it would be poor form to waste her efforts.

As their conversation stopped again, Lily once more found herself completely drawn into Severus' endless, black eyes. The way he looked at her was different, though that had honestly been the first change she'd noticed in him. With everything that had occurred in the past 48 hours, all the words spoken and looks exchanged, it was obvious to her that Severus' affections were more than just a passing, schoolboy's fancy. But...that couldn't mean…

"_Don't be stupid, Lily, he's your best friend! Even if he's changed in all these wonderful ways, that's no reason to suspect that he's in….love...with you. We're still young!"_

Lily's reverie was interrupted by a loud groaning coming from Severus' stomach. "Oh no! I forgot to bring you breakfast today, Sev!"

Severus merely shook his head calmly. "Don't worry about it, Lily. I'm content like this."

His denial did little to dissuade Lily from taking her friend's hand once more and dragging him back towards the castle. "It's almost time for dinner, and you haven't eaten! We'll get you off to the Great Hall and feed you; you'll need your strength tomorrow for your conversation with Dumbledore."

Unable to break the iron grip of the determined redhead, Severus merely sighed and let himself be led by Lily. His thoughts drifted to another concern that was more immediate than his meeting with the headmaster, though he didn't dare vocalize them for Lily. _"Don't remind me; I've still got to bunk with the Slytherins tonight before that debacle occurs…"_

* * *

There was little in the way of a welcome back fanfare once Severus returned to the Slytherin common room after dinner, not that he expected one once they'd heard about his incident with Avery. Swiftly making his way past the wide eyes of first-years, the distrust of the fifth-years, and the absolute disgust of the seventh-years, he made his way to the fifth-year dormitory to get some rest in a bed far less pleasant than the fluffy, white beds in the Hospital Wing.

It was an uneventful evening even after Rosier, Mulciber, and a wide-eyed Avery joined in the dorm. Avery seemed petrified of Severus, though no fear seemed to radiate from the other two. Upon shutting his eyes and feigning sleep for a moment, he could hear the pathetic voice of Avery.

"Bloke's lost it! Nearly used his spell to cut my tongue out even when he was in the hospital bed!"

"Shut it." Mulciber's deep voice silenced the cowardly whimpering. "Snape's a part of good blood; just because he wanted to shut your annoying mouth up doesn't mean anything. Potter did a number on his head; I'm sure that softness toward the Mudblood will go away again. He was progressing so well, after all."

"Regardless, keep an eye on him, you two. I told my cousin Bella to put in a good word to the Dark Lord, so I have a lot more invested into him than either of you." Rosier's voice spoke with a sinister tone. Of the three, Severus remembered that he had easily been the most dangerous, with his family ties to the Blacks, yet always with something to prove due to not sharing the powerful name. Before drifting to sleep for real, Severus dimly noted that he'd have to be careful during the process of discovering what was wrong with his magic. If not for his sake, than for Lily's until he was strong enough to protect her.

**Author's Note: I had wanted to go further into the week than simply Saturday night with this Chapter; those who read may remember that my original intent was to end it Wednesday night. But I thought it was important to devote Severus and Dumbledore's interactions to a chapter on its own, so what was originally one chapter will now be two for the weekend, and one stretching across the O.W.L.s before the ever-important Ancient Runes exam (where I promise an explanation to Severus' problem will be given). Though in the meantime, I do welcome any speculation the readers might have as to what they think the issue is. **

**Also, I encourage and love to see reviews and feedback given from the followers my story has picked up. It truly is a pleasure to read from all of you as much as it is to write.**


	8. Chapter 7: Meeting With Dumbledore

**Disclaimer: No, I'm not the original author of the Harry Potter series, nor do I take credit for any of the characters or concepts of the world in those seven, magical books.**

"Sev, you promised!"

Severus let out an exasperated breath as he and Lily exited the Library an hour after lunch on Sunday afternoon. _"Apparently her blushing like a schoolgirl over me yesterday is already passed. Teenagers and their fickle hormones."_

In truth, he was disappointed that her outward fascination with him hadn't lasted long. Whether Severus could admit it or not, being inside his younger body was leading to a number of involuntary reactions that left a timid emptiness in him whenever he failed to impress Lily. It was a longing that had been absent for decades, yet started up soon after his revival just as strongly as in the past.

"Lily, I don't trust him. The man knows everything about everybody yet so few know anything about him. Besides, what makes you think he'll take any pity on a Slytherin?"

Immediately, Severus knew that was the wrong question to ask his friend as he could feel the irritation bubbling in her eyes.

"Listen here, Severus…" the fiery temper radiated clearly in her tone, and the fact that Lily had used his full name told him that he was sure to receive an earful. "We are ALL his students! I'm tired of you ragging on so great a man just because he was a Gryffindor and you're paranoid that he takes favorites! Why would he keep four houses under his care when you seem so convinced that only one truly matters to him?" The level to which he had offended Lily was evident in her next words. "Why does a gifted Slytherin find friendship with a Muggleborn Gryffindor like me? Do you hear the hypocrisy in your words?!"

Severus was stung by her blazing attitude, and it wasn't long before he was reminded of that red hair of Lily's being the fiery embodiment of the Gryffindor lion. It had been silly, looking back, that his childhood self would ever think Lily belonged in Slytherin. _"Why can't you see that this is the man that sent your son to die with no indication that everything would be alright in the end?!"_

"We were friends before being sorted into the houses of Hogwarts and we'll be friends after we leave them, Lily...All I meant to say is that I wonder if his priorities are in order."

Lily's piercing green eyes softened as her voice mellowed. "Are YOUR priorities in order, Sev?"

Severus' eyebrow raised questioningly. "What?"

"Don't you want to take every avenue you can so that this problem with your magic is sorted out before too long? I didn't set this meeting up so that the big, bad Gryffindor-favoring headmaster could reject you. I want to help too, and I'll be going up with you…" Her eyes started to reflect a deeply-wounded pain. "Is it so wrong that I want to help my best friend with something important to him?"

With a sigh, Severus shut his eyes, unable to let those hurt emeralds cut him any deeper than they already had. "Lily...I don't want us to row so soon after everything that's happened. I appreciate your concern, really, I do."

"But?" Lily looked on the verge of tears, unable to believe that her friend was going to casually reject the offer she'd spent a while convincing Professor McGonagall to approve. Especially since he had promised to go to Dumbledore if she could make it happen.

Severus could see in Lily's eyes what she was expecting, shaking his head. _"No. I'm not going to make two mistakes in the same day with you, Lily."_

"No buts...if it's that important to you that I meet with him, I suppose I can spare a few moments with him."

With a bit of surprise in her eyes, Lily's frown curled upward into a content smile. "Thanks, Sev."

* * *

Upon entering the Headmaster's Office, the pair of Severus and Lily took in the set pieces around the room. To Severus, it was the same as always. Dumbledore had all manner of magical artifacts on display, as well as Fawkes the Phoenix, who had clearly rebirthed recently as the creature was but a hatchling.

The cheerful voice of Albus Dumbledore came as he emerged from his private chamber.

"Ah, Miss Evans, Mr. Snape, please sit." As they did so, the old headmaster took his place opposite the pair at his desk, that ever-shimmering twinkle in his blue eyes.

"Would either of you care for some sherbet lemon?" he asked, motioning towards the candy-filled bowl on his desk. Severus politely declined while Lily took a piece with a delighted smile.

"Now, before we begin, you must forgive my ignorance. Professor McGonagall did not give me specific details on what this meeting entailed. All she said was that you, Miss Evans, had something important to share regarding Mr. Snape's injury. Why don't we start there?"

Lily, who had always admired Dumbledore, nodded with a polite smile. "Thank you, sir; I appreciate you seeing us on such short notice." Her gaze frequently darted between Severus and the headmaster as she described what happened. "Well, you obviously know about the incident at the lake. Severus took a terrible blow to the head after another...show by James Potter. He suffered a concussion and was held in the Hospital wing for the better part of two days."

Dumbledore nodded, turning to Severus with a hint of an apology in his eyes. Lily noticed, however, that her friend's gaze remained downcast, never forming eye contact with the old wizard. _"Why does Sev distrust the headmaster so much? He's such a kind wizard…"_ she dimly thought before continuing.

"Well what you don't know, something only Sev and I know, is that there was a...side effect from the injury. He's…" she turned to her friend, searching for any sign of protest for what she was about to say. Seeing none, she continued. "Sir, he's been unable to control his magic. He's only casted two spells successfully since then, and both times were in the heat of some serious moments."

Throughout her explanation, Lily noticed something she'd never seen before slowly grow in Dumbledore's eyes. She couldn't quite place the emotion. Haunted, melancholy, shaken: all were words that could appropriately describe what she saw. The headmaster had always been an image of constant strength and composure. To see him like this made her even more fearful for Severus' well-being.

"Thank you for confiding this to me, Miss Evans. You and Mr. Snape have my word that news of his condition will not be spread; to do so prematurely would attract unwanted attention. If you'll excuse us, Miss Evans, I think your friend and I will need to be alone to further discuss it."

Lily nodded before she got up from her chair, and placed a comforting hand on her best friend's shoulder. She knew what his magic meant to him; if Dumbledore was this taken aback, who was to say how serious it actually was. After a moment, she slowly made her way out of the office, passing a final glance in their direction before heading out the door.

The awkward silence between Severus and Dumbledore continued for a moment before the headmaster rose from his seat to gaze out the window.

"Mr. Snape-"

"Severus is fine, sir. I'm not much for formality." It was partially a lie, having demanded utmost formality and respect from his students for years while teaching. He was simply growing irritated with his former confidant addressing him as if he were an ordinary student.

"Very well, Severus. How are you feeling today?"

The question was so simple yet so unlike anything Severus had known Dumbledore to say to him.

"With all due respect, sir, what do you care? The last time I was in this office, you demanded that I keep a student's status as a werewolf secret, despite nearly being killed. Compared to that, what's a little difficulty casting spells?"

Severus finally raised his eyes to meet the back of the elder wizard, firmly safe behind his Occlumency in case Dumbledore tried to read him.

Dumbledore shook his head, still gazing endlessly into the blue sky outside his window. Severus could see from the slight reflection in the glass that there was a deeply troubled look on the headmaster's face, and the fact that he wasn't looking him in the eyes told him that it was something very personal.

"What Miss Evans described wasn't 'a little difficulty', Severus. I've only heard of one other case like it, and I assure you that I have seen a great many things in my life. The school year is nearly done, Severus, and if this problem persists, as it did with the...other case...I fear that your continued education here will be in jeopardy if the ministry were to catch wind of it.

"That is why it is important that you give me every detail of the accidental magic you casted. I'm very sorry that such a thing has happened to you, and I apologize on behalf of James Potter and his reckless actions. I'm sure that's of little consolation; you're obviously still bitter about the situation with Mr. Lupin and I can understand why. But rest assured, Severus: I want to help you. Now. Am I to assume these castings were accidental in nature, like when you were a child?"

Severus shook his head slightly, still unsure of why Dumbledore had changed his tune so suddenly and wanted to genuinely help someone who was at odds with his favorite Gryffindor students. "Not necessarily. They weren't random like most underage magic is." He carefully described his casting of Langlock and the Bluebell Flames charm, determined to not leave anything out in case the old wizard's vast knowledge could prove useful.

"The first time was when Lily and I were interrupted by a rather loathsome housemate of mine. He was being exceedingly rude to her and called her a…" Severus couldn't repeat the word; he had vowed long ago in his previous life never to tolerate the word Mudblood again. Thankfully, Dumbledore seemed to understand the implication as he turned to face Severus with a nod of acknowledgment.

"In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to shut that little cretin's mouth. There was so much anger in that moment...the audacity to insult someone like Lily to me even though she was my guest. I demanded him to apologize, but he just said it again...like it was of little consequence...that's when it burst. I had no idea that it would work, but I still spoke the word Langlock to him."

"Langlock?" Dumbledore asked curiously.

"It's a spell of my own creation. It affixes the tongue to the roof of one's mouth and prevents them from speaking. Useful for trumping wizards who aren't capable of nonverbal magic or just for shutting annoying mouths…" Severus briefly noted that should his control of magic return, he should like to use it on James Potter.

"Fascinating. I knew you were a gifted wizard, but to create one's own spells at such an early age is remarkable, Severus. Am I to assume that this attempt to cast worked?

Severus nodded, feeling the faint sensation that the old wizard was trying to enter his mind to look for something. The young Slytherin would have none of it and strengthened his mind further.

Dumbledore's eyes narrowed somewhat suspiciously. "And the second time?"

"Lily and I were deep in conversation about...personal matters." He spoke vaguely, not wanting to violate the privacy of Lily's boggart, nor wanting to reveal his own, haunted reaction to the subject. "The short of it is that she was asking me to forsake something, another spell of mine, Sectumsempra."

"Is this that cutting curse that I've heard you using with James Potter and Sirius Black?"

"Yes," Severus answered, ignoring the accusatory tone in the headmaster's voice. "It's been the cause of a rift between Lily and myself as of late, among other things...She asked me, no, begged me, tears in her eyes, never to cast it again. She and I have been drifting apart for so long that I wanted to make it up to her.

"I keep all of my custom spells and potions recipes noted in a textbook of mine. So I ripped the page the page with Sectumsempra out of my book, but I knew it wouldn't be enough to convince her of my resolve. That's when...I felt something start to erupt, and then they came. Bluebell Flames. They engulfed the page just as I promised her I wouldn't cast it again."

Dumbledore had returned to his seat across from Severus in the middle of the story. His mouth curled into a smile that extended to the gleam in his eyes. "A very romantic gesture. It's obvious from these two castings that you care a great deal for Miss Evans, forsaking some of the unfortunate vices common to Slytherin House. I'm quite proud of your change in attitude, Severus...as well as fascinated by your talent in Occlumency."

Severus' eyes widened in shock that Dumbledore had already deduced it so quickly. It was all he could do to glare defiantly back to that mischievous grin of the headmaster.

"Tell me, Severus. When you cast those spells, were you Occluding like you are now?"

Severus shook his head firmly, wishing the old wizard would get to the point.

Dumbledore nodded with a hint of understanding. "Very well. Is there anything else you wish to share about your condition that may shed more light, Severus?"

His eyes narrowed. Dumbledore still thought that whatever was causing his condition was rooted to the actions of James Potter when Severus knew otherwise. His mind flashed back to the rune on his chest, which he had inspected again following his shower that morning.

With a sigh of defeat, Severus removed a quill, ink, and a loose piece of parchment from his bag. He drew the mark, making sure to distort the lemniscate properly before handing it to Albus. "That mean anything to you?"

Dumbledore took a brief look at the mark, curiosity vanishing when he took a sudden, sharp breath. His blue eyes glanced back up to meet Severus' unwavering gaze, as if he were searching for something. The raven-haired boy refused to let down his armor of Occlumency; it was too early to give the headmaster too much information.

"Tell me what that is and I might consider letting you in." Severus smirked, determined to be careful in this mental game of chess with the old wizard.

Dumbledore merely shook his head. "I fear I am not an authority on runes, Severus. If I'm not mistaken, you have an O.W.L. makeup exam with our dear Professor Babbling next Saturday. She will likely tell you all you wish to know if you bring the mark to her."

Severus merely snorted. _"You liar. Always withholding information from me, one life to the next, Albus."_

"Very well. I believe we're done here, Headmaster, so I'll take my leave." He set his supplies back into his bag and started towards the door in frustration.

His leave was interrupted by a cheerful call from Dumbledore. "Severus, I do hope to see you again after term resumes. I'd be interested to hear what results might occur if your Summer contains more time spent with Miss Evans and less time Occluding…"

Severus merely shut the door without responding or looking back, and descended the moving staircase.

**Author's Note: Only a couple chapters left until the closing of the school year and a much clearer explanation of Severus' magical problem is given. I'd love to read any speculation that fans care to share in the meantime!**

**So ends the meeting with Dumbledore and a few questions may have been answered. Obviously, Dumbledore's softness with Severus' teenage self is due to the similarities to his dead sister Ariana, though we're going to find out that the circumstances are far different. That should be obvious since the readers know that Severus' magical struggles started immediately after his rebirth and not after the incident at the lake which injured him, but I needed a way to start off the Snape-Dumbledore relationship that didn't revolve around Severus immediately going to Albus and revealing his second life. My hope is for their friendship to be a rather trusting one even before that plot point comes around, though Severus is understandably bitter at the moment to Dumbledore for all the sacrifices he made to go unappreciated by being left in the dark in the books.**

**Thanks so much for all the reviews the last couple of chapters have received. Special thanks to Amar 2 for showing your concern that Severus-Lily may be progressing too fast. That was never my intention, though his adult behavior has continued to surprise her, their relationship will settle back into normalcy for the time being as she grows used to the changes. Sudden shifts in routine have a tendency to jar people out of their normal behavior, and the blushing/embarrassment from the last chapter was made more to illustrate all the tiny changes in his habits that she's noticing. You have to remember that even though he's still cynical and a bit snappy (as I tried to show in this chapter) the man HAS aged 20 years since last being friends with her, and all of the things that have changed about him have come crashing down on her at once. Once those become normal to her, the affections will progress at a natural pace.**


	9. Chapter 8: Attack at the Lake

**Disclaimer: I do not own the concepts or characters of the Harry Potter universe.**

Lily descended the hill towards the Great Lake with a satisfied smile adorning her face. It hadn't been easy; her friend's agreeable attitude from the previous day had given way to distrust and almost reluctance towards speaking with the headmaster. She was afraid they would start to seriously fight about it, but he had thankfully relented and agreed to accept the offer she'd helped broker with Professor McGonagall.

"_If anyone can help Sev with his problem, it's Dumbledore."_

The grass crunched rhythmically beneath her shoes as the rolling hills around Hogwarts were finally behind her and the lake shore came into view. Her smile widened when she noticed that Alice and Mary were already at their usual meeting place. She quickly hastened her pace to join them.

Lily found good company among her fellow Gryffindor witches; Alice and Mary had probably been her closest friends aside from Severus. Alice in particular, had been the older sister Lily had needed since her relationship with Petunia had begun to fall apart, and was happy to offer all sorts of advice to the two younger, Muggleborn witches who were new to the world of magic.

It was at this realization that Lily's smile wavered and her pace slowed. _"Alice, Mary, Remus, Sev...I've got all of these wonderful friends, but who else does Sev have besides me..? It's no wonder he has so much trouble trusting people; he's really all alone."_ The irony was not lost on Lily that she, a young Muggleborn who was still learning things about the wizarding world, was finding company much easier than the boy who'd been born into magic. No doubt it was a side-effect of his poor life at home. Lily had two wonderful, supportive parents, but Severus could not say the same. It hurt her knowing how solitary her friend truly was.

She shook herself from her unpleasant thoughts just in time to greet the pair of witches who were seated at the edge of the lake.

Alice was the first to turn to Lily with her always-inviting smile. "Lily! We were just starting to worry you'd miss us again. Sit! The water's perfect!"

Nodding to the Head Girl, Lily sat between them, taking off her shoes and socks to set her bare feet into the water to cool. At the beginning of June, the water's temperature had truly been ideal. It was a habit the three girls had taken up over the years on beautiful days, to relax and catch up. Yet it almost saddened Lily that this would be her last year to do it with Alice in company.

Mary was next to speak, a bit of frustration obvious in her voice. "I heard that you were the reason we lost a huge amount of House Points, Lily. There'd better be a good reason why we're far behind Slytherin now."

Lily sighed. It was obvious that the news wouldn't stay quiet for long, that Gryffindor had lost its sizable lead in points and was primed to lose the House Cup. Even worse that it was because of one of their own Prefects; despite her assurances to Severus the day before, she hoped it wouldn't cause a wedge between her and her friends.

"Potter was making an ass out of himself again. Normally I wouldn't have done it, but he was about to attack Severus. He just got out of the hospital an hour before and I wasn't going to let him go back in."

"Ugh, Snape again?" Mary's hostility only multiplied at the mention of Lily's friend. "Honestly Lily, I thought you were ready to give up on him. Then, all of a sudden he gets hurt and all is forgiven? Have you forgotten what his 'hilarious mate' Mulciber did to me?"

Lily couldn't be mad at Mary's venomous words. It had been, after all, one of the worst things to happen to Gryffindor since their arrival years ago. Mulciber had used the Imperius Curse on Mary earlier that year. Under his control, the girl was told to break up with Sirius Black, who she'd been seeing for over a year. Never one to be shy around women, Sirius had already moved on to a sixth-year Ravenclaw by the time Mary was released from the curse. The poor girl was left a heartbroken mess for weeks.

Everyone in Gryffindor House knew that Mulciber had cast the Unforgivable Curse. But there were no eyewitnesses that had actually seen him curse Mary, and upon submitting his wand to Priori Incantatem, evidence of the curse hadn't come up. He had obviously used someone else's wand, but Veritaserum was forbidden to get to the bottom of the case, so no punishment was given.

It had been an incident which greatly strained Lily's friendship with Severus. It infuriated her that he brushed it off as "just a laugh". Whether he took pleasure in the humiliation of one of the Marauders or a Muggleborn girl, it hardly mattered to Lily because there was no excuse to find humor in it.

"I can still feel that disgusting snake roaming around my mind, telling me what to do and being unable to stop myself! And your precious Snape just sat there laughing and didn't come forward when he obviously knew! My mind was violated, Lily! My life was meddled with!"

Lily put her arm around her crying friend's shoulder. "I know, Mary…" she whispered, trying to soothe her. She ran her petite fingers through Mary's shoulder-length brown hair. "Severus is...changing though. He's apologized for a lot of things, and his relationship with that Slytherin gang seems to be slipping."

Upon seeing Alice raise a questioning eyebrow, Lily just shrugged. "He defended me from Avery the other day, and his attitude has really mellowed."

Mary simply choked back her tears. "I don't care, Lil'. The only way I'll ever give that snake a chance is if he comes forward and turns Mulciber in. I can barely handle sharing oxygen with that monster, let alone a school! I don't know what you see in Snape; if he were half as good as you say he is, he'd have done it already!"

"You're right, Mary. Next time I see him, I'll get what we need for some justice. Before school's out, I promise you, I'll make it happen."

* * *

Making his way down to the dungeon, Severus just wanted some time alone in his room while everyone was no doubt occupied with the weather. His conversation with Dumbledore, as it always did, left him with more questions than answers, and it irritated him that the old wizard refused to answer any of his inquiries.

"_Why was he so inviting this time, even after Lily left? The last time he saw me in this life, I was the meddling Slytherin who threatened to spill Lupin's secret. What would cause him to suddenly act so caring and compassionately towards me, like he'd seen a sodding ghost?"_

Then there was the Rune. It was obvious to Severus that the old wizard clearly had some idea what the secret of it was, yet didn't have the respect for him to actually divulge any useful information. Just taunted him to bring down his Occlumency, as if that would help anything.

It was no secret to Severus how dependent he'd gotten on his mental armor. From the moment of being cast aside by Lily, his life only continued to descend into a maddening hell. The people he'd seen die, the pressures of his duties as a spy, the atrocities committed by Voldemort, the fact that he had no freedom whether under Dumbledore or the Dark Lord, and most of all Lily's death. It was an ever-growing pile of negativity that was never relieved by anything, and rarely, if ever, would he truly lower the barriers all the way. The irony of it all was that the world viewed him as a cold-hearted cynic with little tolerance for emotional outbursts, when he knew that the depths of his emotions would overwhelm him if he stopped using Occlumency.

Still, Dumbledore's hint at an explanation had some merit; both times he had casted successfully were around Lily and in the midst of powerful emotions that went untouched by Occlumency. It would be prudent to at least test the theory further, albeit in the privacy of his Room where no prying eyes could see.

Arriving near the entrance to the Dungeon, Severus bumped into Regulus Black, which had broken his chain of thought. The younger Black looked at Severus with his usual, wicked smile, something that he knew Sirius shared but would never admit to.

"Where you off to, Snape? I'd think you of all people would want to see the show?"

Severus shook his head, "What are you talking about, Black?"

"Well, Rosier and Mulciber cooked up a plan and are about to dish some payback to Potter and my traitor brother. Them and their idiot friends are off to the lake, and they're going to learn what it means to cross our house. Come on, let's watch it together, maybe you can get in a few good spells for what they did to you?"

Severus stopped, icy cold dread washing through his body. Lily always spent time with her friends at the lake; no doubt Potter would be going to try to flirt with her like an idiot. That meant she'd be nearby once the Slytherin gang struck, and he knew there was no way someone like Rosier or Mulciber would hesitate to attack her should she protest.

He didn't register the protests of Regulus to wait as soon as he took off towards the lake in a sprint.

* * *

After a while, the conversation had become less serious and the girls started chatting amongst themselves, laughing and smiling when the giant squid peaked its head up in the distance. The girls heard four equally cheerful voices approaching behind them, and turned to see the full group of Marauders coming their way.

"Ladies! You sure can make a lovely day even better!" came the honeyed words of Sirius Black as he approached Mary. "'Specially you, darling. Would you take me back if I said I was sorry?"

Mary's face went a brighter red than Lily's hair, though whether it was from anger or blushing was unclear. "Piss off, Sirius! I learned my lesson not to trust a dog's loyalty!" She quickly stepped out of the water and stormed away.

Sirius turned towards his snickering friends with a playful shrug. "It's a dog's life, gents!"

James however, made his way towards Lily. "You need to settle down, Padfoot. Take me, for example. I've already found the one for me. Enjoying a gorgeous Sunday afternoon and not hidden away in the library. A woman after my own heart!"

Lily snorted, taken aback a bit by James' words. "You've got some gall flirting with me as if yesterday didn't happen, Potter. Haven't I told you to leave me alone?"

"Nope. You tell me to leave Snape alone." James corrected with a knowing smile. "Besides, I didn't want my lasting impression of you to be of that temper before term's up." he said, approaching the lake's edge with Sirius. "Truth be told, I was hoping to see that gorgeous smile of yours. That, and Padfoot and I fancy a swim with the Grindylows!"

Before Lily and Alice could react in protest, the pair of Sirius and James vanished their school clothes. Lily could barely hold back the blush as she saw the boys both clad in swimming trunks they had obviously put on before coming out, their Quidditch-hardened bodies boldly on display as they jumped in.

Emerging from the water with a smile on his face, James called out to the remaining two Marauders. "Moony! Wormtail! Come on in, the water's fantastic!"

Remus simply rolled his eyes with a hint of a smile, while Pettigrew shook his head, teeth chattering in fear.

Turning his head to Lily, James swam near her submerged feet and his smile turned into that of a Cheshire Cat. "What about you, beautiful? Fancy a dip?"

Lily could feel the heat beginning to rise to her face as she could scarcely hold back a smile with her attempt at a scowl. Determined not to let James see her affected by his charms, she kicked her right foot out of the water, splashing him in the face. "In your dreams, Potter. As if I'd let you see me in a bathing suit."

"I never took you for the bashful type, Evans." James said, chuckling with Sirius.

Lily shook her head, unable to believe how she was acting. _"Why can't he always be like this? Stop pranking people, stop attacking Sev, and you might just be boyfriend material…"_

Before James and Sirius could take a dive down into the lake as they planned, their faces turned hard as they noticed the trio approaching the lake.

"Show time, Prongs." muttered Sirius as he and James quickly pulled themselves out of the water, drawing their wands.

Lily turned her head to see the source of the trouble. Evan Rosier, Jacob Avery, and Linus Mulciber were nearing the lake, wands already in hand.

"Alright, which one of you blood traitors is first to taste payback? Our House's honor was defiled when you got Snape; I reckon the dishonor be repaid two-fold." shouted Rosier, his ever-malevolent glare towards the Gryffindors.

Remus immediately took his place near the girls, knowing what was to come. "Alice, Lily, go get McGonagall. This is going to be bad."

The Head Girl nodded immediately, getting out of the water and heading back to the castle in a rush. Lily, however, stood her ground. Rosier was, by far, the most skilled duelist in their year and knew the Marauders might be seriously hurt if he was around. James and Sirius weren't exactly known for backing down from challenges, and it was clear that waving her Prefect badge would do nothing in this situation.

"Funny, I didn't know you snakes had any honor." came the jeers of James as he cast a Stunner in Rosier's direction, who parried it with a Shield Charm.

"This coming from a Pure Blood who doesn't have the spine to cast any real offensive magic. Confringo!" a violent beam was sent out from Rosier's wand, blasting the ground near the group of Gryffindors. The boom of the noise and the impact of the blast sent Wormtail scurrying away with a terrified screech.

With a smirk, Rosier scanned his eyes across the group like a predator. "Good. Three on three. Let's see you mongrels try even odds on one of us."

Lily glared at the Slytherin. "I'm here, you rotten tyrant!"

All three Slytherin intruders chuckled amongst themselves as Rosier shook his head. "Mudbloods don't count. Run along before I have to send Snape's little pet to the hospital wing."

James glared at him upon hearing the word. "Apologize, you slimy git! Rictusempra!"

Again, Rosier parried the spell with little effort, shaking his head with disapproval. "You always were a joking little swine, Potter, right down to your stupid choice in magic. But since you chose that spell, wanted me to laugh uncontrollably, how about I make you bleed uncontrollably?" He pointed his wand in the group's direction. "Courtesy of Snape."

Non-verbally, Rosier flicked his wand towards Remus, and a flash of light served as a prelude to the young werewolf dropping to the ground as a vicious gash formed on his chest.

James, who prepared a shield charm for himself expecting the attack, was taken off guard when his friend was attacked in his place. "Moony! You bastard! Locomot-"

James was unprepared for a trio of Stunners sent his way by the Slytherins, their movements obviously well-practiced as their foe was sent hurling into the lake.

Sirius had dropped to Remus' side to check on his wounds while Rosier approached the pair of Marauders. That is, until Lily stood in the Slytherin's way.

"Move aside, Mudblood. I'll take no blame from Snape for what I do to you if you don't know your place."

Lily's eyes were rigid with hatred as she couldn't help but speak proudly of her friend. "You know, it's funny you say you're here on his behalf. I'm so glad Severus wants nothing more to do with you lot. You're all just a bunch of miserable Death Eaters waiting to happen!"

Avery's high-pitched voice sounded in response to Lily's. "See! I told you both Snape had gone rogue!"

Rosier's eyes showed a hint of madness at the realization. "Then I suppose I should use you as an example to teach the filthy little half-blood what happens when you bite the hand that feeds you!"

Lily cast a shield charm, expecting to be hit by a frontal attack, but like James, Rosier's talent for improvising got the better of her as he instead cast a tripping jinx at her feet.

Looking up at Rosier's wand, Lily glared with unyielding fury into her attacker's eyes, prepared for whatever spell he planned to hit her with. All but one.

"Crucio!"

Lily's strength immediately faded as she was enveloped by indescribable, constant pain throughout her body. Her cries were all she could hear, the heart-stopping shrieking all that she could focus on to keep her mind from breaking underneath the torture.

"Get the bloody hell off of her! Confringo!" Sirius shouted as he blasted the ground between all three attackers as they dove for safety, releasing Lily from her torment.

Avery's eyes widened with terror as he gazed up the hill, seeing a single figure sprinting towards them. "It's Snape!"

* * *

Severus saw nothing but red as he came upon the scene of Evan Rosier using the Torture Curse on Lily. The rage had boiled over once he heard her screams of agony. It did no good when he saw Sirius Black stop the spell and knock down the Slytherin Trio. He had made an attempt to stop the floodgates from being overrun by his emotions with his Occlumency, but it was no use. He knew, in that moment, that Alastor Moody would not get the pleasure of killing Rosier in this lifetime.

Avery attempted to stop him with an Impediment Jinx, but Severus twisted his wand back and cast a Stickfast Hex to his feet, causing the weaker Slytherin to lose his balance and fall forward on his face. Yet Severus' eyes remained locked to Rosier.

"Flipendo!" Mulciber hastily attempted to cast a knockback jinx, yet the spell was blocked with a shield charm. The closeness to which the attack met the shield caused the spell to backfire with a burst of force, sending Mulciber violently to the ground on the back of his head.

Rosier looked amused at the display as he stood between Sirius and Severus; James slowly emerged from the water with violent coughs as he made his way towards Lupin to check on his wounds.

"My my, have I struck a nerve? I wonder how mad you'll get if you see your precious little Mudblood die before your very eyes, Snape!" Rosier cast a blasting curse directly at Severus, but the young wizard countered with a mighty swing of his wand, summoning another shield charm and causing a deafening boom followed by a cloud of smoke.

Amidst the shroud, a single flash of light caught Rosier off-guard as he was sent airborne, suspended by his ankle. Severus emerged from the smoke, absolute hatred spread across his features as he held the captive Rosier over the lake. Feeling the trembling of his mind under onslaught from the swell of his emotions, it was all he could do to keep from breaking his promise to Lily, cut Rosier to ribbons and paint the lake red with his blood.

He knew for a fact that Rosier was not a Slytherin to make empty threats, and if he threatened Lily, Severus knew he'd have the vile boy's entire family, including Bellatrix, involved.

Severus had that deathly glare in his eyes as he non-verbally cast Liberacorpus, sending Rosier plunging into the shallow water's edge. But not before he cast an Incarcerous Spell, conjuring thick ropes which bound Rosier and his limbs tightly together before a splash of water permeated the silence.

None of the Marauders dared move to stop Severus as he held kept the ropes tightly with the spell, the bubbles of air becoming more frantic as Rosier started to drown under the water.

Lily's eyes opened, still squinting from the pain of the Torture Curse before seeing the horror that Severus was about to commit. The squinting immediately ceased as she shouted in her friend's direction. "Sev! NO! You'll kill him!"

Hearing the voice of his beloved, knowing that she was safe, did little to calm the rage burning throughout Severus as he furiously held his wand in Rosier's direction, his knuckles white from the pressure in his grip. She was safe for now, but he would take no risks in letting her be hurt again.

Lily shuffled her feet towards Severus, urgently limping in spite of the pain and wrapping her arms around his back. "Sev, you're not a murderer! Let him go! SEVERUS! PLEASE!"

"_Severus...please…"_

The words triggered a terrible memory, Severus' grip on his wand wavered as his stomach lurched forward. He could feel it. The wounds on his soul. The memories those words forced into the front of his mind. He could see it: the death of Dumbledore, his own soul cracking and splintering as he cast the Unforgivable Killing Curse. The cold face of the old wizard as Severus felt the long life ended by his own hand.

"_Severus...please...please…"_

Dumbledore's face shifted to the frightened, tearful visage of Charity Burbage, who unlike the Headmaster, had not accepted death. Charity had been murdered by Voldemort while Severus, her colleague and acquaintance, had been forced to watch with disinterest as she was hideously devoured by Nagini.

Those words, shouted now by Lily as her hands reached for his outstretched arm, were all his mind could take as he barely managed to lock it all away again and shut himself behind his Occlumency. The spell immediately ceased as Rosier emerged from the lake, coughing up large amounts of water as he weakly crawled towards the shore.

Lily tried to reach her weak, tired arms around her best friend's body, but Severus snapped forward, the remnants of his traumatic relapse still fresh in his mind as he feebly marched toward the castle. He had to be alone. He NEEDED to be alone.

There was no denying it now, as he stepped forward, locked so tightly in his mental armor that he couldn't even hear Lily's pleas to stay. That brief period with his Occlumency down had resulted in a frenzied series of powerful spells, as potent as he had cast in his adult life, but with none of the safety and protection that his mental shields had provided.

He stumbled in a daze, barely able to keep the shields up as the memories remained. _"I need to be alone...I need to be alone…"_ The thoughts repeated in his head like a mantra, determined to blind himself to all the death he had just flashed back to in that moment.

**Author's Note: Well this chapter was certainly a bit heavier than I was expecting to write this early on. There were a number of things that I needed to cover, and there was never really an option breaking it apart into multiple chapters since it all occurs at the lake. First thing on my mind was that I wanted to focus a bit on the sweeter side of James Potter and show a bit of the attraction we all know Lily has for him. Even though I have admitted that I am not a fan of the character, he deserved a bit of justice before we head off to a Potter-free Summer for Severus and Lily.**

**I also wanted to elaborate more on what caused Severus and Lily's original fallout, and so I wrote the backstory behind the incident that occurred between Mulciber and Mary Macdonald. Like Lily's Boggart, it's all original. I had to figure out what might be considered a harmless prank in the point of view of a teenage Severus, yet was still very morally wrong enough to warrant Lily's hostility over it. Mary will become a bit more fleshed out in character as the Fanfiction goes on, along with Alice and her big-sister relationship with Lily.**

**The last thing I knew I wanted in this scene was the moment where it's obvious to both Severus and the readers what's causing his magical block. Yes, for those who have speculated, Severus' natural distance from his emotions is the cause of his inability to cast. He goes on a long tirade to Harry in OotP, talking down on people who live with their heart on their sleeve, but he's now found himself in a position where if he wants to cast external spells, he has to learn to let go. Naturally with all of the horrors that Severus has lived through, this is going to result in a very serious case of PTSD.**

**I said from the start that I didn't want some all-powerful Severus at the outset of the story; Sev is going to have to learn a great deal of fighting through all of that pain rather than hide away from it. None of this inverse relation of Occlumency to magical potency is explained why at the moment, but there will be one in a later chapter regarding the rune, I promise you.**

**As always, thanks so much for reading and let me know what you thought of the chapter by reviewing! It always helps seeing the feedback of my readers and what they think/would like to see.**


	10. Chapter 9: Room of Requirement

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or concepts presented in the books of the Harry Potter series. There is a quote by Severus in this chapter taken directly from Order of the Phoenix - Chapter 24: Occlumency.**

It had been a difficult matter to explain to Professor McGonagall why there was so much carnage wrought at the edge of the Great Lake when she finally arrived alongside Alice. The Head of Gryffindor could hardly take the notorious Marauders at their word when they explained that a small war had broken out, and that the Slytherins were the ones who instigated it. But upon corroboration from Lily of the events that had taken place, the Professor set her wrathful gaze on the fallen Slytherins, most notably the barely-conscious form of Evan Rosier.

"An Unforgivable Curse is called such for a reason, Mr. Rosier. You will answer to the Headmaster for what you have done to Mr. Lupin and Miss Evans, and the severity of your actions leads me to believe that expulsion will be the least of your worries. In the meantime, Miss Fortescue, please escort Miss Evans up to the Hospital Wing to make sure there are no complications from that dreadful curse. Mr. Potter, conjure a stretcher for Mr. Lupin and follow the two ladies up to the Castle. Be VERY careful not to aggravate his wounds further; whatever he was cursed by is very difficult for me to keep under control here.

"As for you, Mr. Black, you will come with me to the Headmaster's Office with Mr. Rosier in tow so we may take your statement on what happened. I suspect we'll need corroborating statements from you all, but given that you're the least wounded by the incident, the others should have a chance to compose themselves in the Hospital Wing."

Lily mustered what little strength she had to follow behind Alice as she passed by Remus' wounded body, her eyes widening at the severity of his injury. She had to help; she knew that Madam Pomfrey wouldn't have an immediate answer for a spell that her best friend had made. She turned to her Head of House and spoke, her voice heavy with fatigue from the ordeal of Rosier's torture. "Professor, that curse was made by Severus...I know him. If he's made it, he's made a counter-curse for it. That's Remus' best chance at recovering without serious-"

But Lily was cut off by the loud protest of James, who had just started to summon his friend's stretcher. "Don't even suggest letting him come close to Remus, Evans! Snape might've come to the rescue, but did you see that look in his eyes?! He's off his rocker! He was primed to kill; I don't care if Rosier's scum or not, he'd have done it and you know it!"

McGonagall immediately silenced her two students before an argument could ensue. "Enough! Now, Miss Evans, the first priority is getting my students to Madam Pomfrey to ensure their care and safety. If she cannot adequately help Mr. Lupin, we shall go about finding Mr. Snape; we'll need him for questioning about the incident anyway." The aging witch cast a levitation charm on the quivering body of Rosier and led Sirius up the hill back towards the castle.

As Lily limped gingerly up the hill, with an arm around Alice's shoulder for support, the young witch was roused from her thoughts by the Head Girl. "I should've stayed behind and helped. You and Remus wouldn't be in such bad shape right now if I had been there...I can't believe that monster actually cast the Cruciatus on you for getting in his way." Alice shuddered at her own words, and Lily could feel a trembling down the back of her fellow witch.

"Alice...please don't take me to the Hospital Wing. I'll be fine, really; most of the pain is gone and all that's left is a bit of soreness." She turned her head back to James and Remus, the former gently leading the prone body of the latter a few paces behind them. Her eyes glinted with tears, unable to see her friend like this, a product of her nightmares.

"_I have to find Sev...he can help Remus."_

"Potter." Lily called over her shoulder, her pace slowing to allow them to catch up. "Please, listen to me. Madam Pomfrey isn't going to have an answer for this spell, not with wounds as severe as what Remus suffered." she pointed a quivering finger to the growing pool of red underneath the bandages that McGonagall had conjured for a short-term remedy to his bleeding. "I have to find Severus, please, pull out your map that you've been bragging about and tell me where he is."

James shook his head, eyes swimming with an emotion between sorrow and insulted. "Evans, I get that he's your friend, alright? That's why he came; it has nothing to do with concern for any of us. Give me one reason why I should trust him with my friend after that little display of his!"

"Because he's MY friend too, Potter! And you should trust Severus because _**I**_ _**trust Severus**_. That 'little display' as you call it confirmed everything that I was hoping; he's not with that Slytherin gang anymore. Rosier is the last person that Severus would've attacked if he truly had any aspirations of joining the Death Eaters."

Alice turned her head to face Lily, a thoughtful look of contemplation in her blue eyes before finally turning to James. "Do it, James. Pull out the map and I promise that, just this once, I'll turn a blind eye to the fact that you carry something so intrusive."

James' brow furrowed noticeably despite his glasses and waved his wand, summoning his school robes in his free arm before reaching inside and taking out a piece of blank parchment. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." he grumbled before tapping it with his wand and handed it to Alice.

As the Head Girl unfolded the map and lowered it so that both she and Lily could see, after a few moments, frustration gathered on both of the girls' faces. "What's the idea? I don't see Severus Snape anywhere on this map!"

Taking it back from the girls to look at the map again for himself, James' hazel eyes expertly trailed the entire length of the parchment before chuckling sarcastically. "Well, Fortescue, either Snape's found some way to Apparate off the school grounds…" he began, folding it and placing it back inside his robe's pocket. "Or he's locked himself in the Come and Go Room."

Alice snorted at her younger housemate's implication. "Come off it, James; the Room of Requirement is just a rumor. I haven't seen it in seven years of being here."

James swept his hand through his dark hair and smirked at the pair of witches. "That's because I doubt our beloved Head Girl has ever needed a hiding place for certain...goodies that might be confiscated if they were found during dorm inspections. Trust me, ladies, it exists. But none of us could figure out how to properly put it on the map, so it's the one blind spot in all of Hogwarts."

Lily's gaze wavered between her housemates. "I'm lost. What's the Room of Requirement, Alice?"

Letting out an exasperated sigh, the older witch relented. "According to the myth, the Room's got a mind of its own and won't show itself to anyone unless they have some glaring need for it. Bit of a cock-and-bull story if you ask me, but it keeps being mentioned so the rumor never really dies. Where, James, did you find this supposed room?"

"Not too far from the Fat Lady's portrait, actually. A few corridors away, near that hilarious tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. Pace near it three times with a specific need in your mind, and it'll open for you, with whatever it is that you have need of waiting inside."

Alice merely shook her head with annoyed disbelief, turning to Lily. "Fine, we'll go try it, Lily. But once this little expedition is over with, I AM taking you to Madam Pomfrey."

* * *

Severus' breathing was shallow as he looked blankly ahead, his Occlumency firmly up as he still felt the backlash of his emotional outburst. He tried to make sense of it all; why had his rebirth done this to him? Why did whatever divine force that brought him back seek to cruelly rob him of his magic and only give it back when he surrendered himself to emotion and abandon his prowess at Occluding?

At this thought of resentment, a flicker of a memory entered his mind. He remembered his words well, words he had spoken to Harry Potter during his futile attempts to teach the boy Occlumency..

"_Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily - weak people, in other words - they stand no chance against his powers! He will penetrate your mind with absurd ease, Potter!"_

"_Is that my fate then?" _ Severus asked himself mentally. "Am I to be the fool who must wallow in pain and sadness if I am to have any hope of being strong enough to fight for what's important?!"

His feet swayed in the air underneath his sitting position, unaware that he was joined by someone else as he stayed locked in his thoughts…

* * *

Lily and Alice were astounded when the door materialized amidst the stone when they did as James described. Her only thoughts on her mind as she passed the empty wall were simple. _"I have to find Sev...I need to find Sev. Please, let me find Sev!"_

The older witch could scarcely keep her mouth closed long enough to string words together, her shock at their discovery still apparent. "Uhm...Lily. If he's inside, I doubt I need to be going in. He's your friend, and he'll listen to you alone more than he will with me around. Get him to come out and help Remus; I'll see you when you get to the Hospital Wing."

Lily nodded to her friend with a weak smile as she watched her walk back down the hallway, before turning to the large, stone door that had presented itself to her. She reached for it, fingers trembling as she touched it. She knew that whatever was behind this door would be very telling of her best friend's mood at the moment. If James Potter's words describing the purpose of the room were to be believed, it changed itself to match the needs of its guest.

Lily remembered that red haze that seemed to cloud Severus' eyes as he nearly drowned Rosier, that same look she remembered had been given to her by her Boggart. She shuddered at the possibilities. Would she find him surrounded by a mountain of books of Dark Magic that he would use to torture Rosier as she had been? Would he be brewing poisons that would be spread amongst the entire Slytherin trio as payback for the incident? She had considered every possible, dark avenue that would match what she saw in her best friend's eyes, and with a defeated shiver, resigned herself to face whatever grim place she would find her best friend in and pushed the door open.

What Lily hadn't expected was to be blinded by a bright sunlight as she stepped into the room, feeling the familiar sensation of grass underneath her feet as fresh air entered her lungs. Her eyes adjusted to her new surroundings as the door shut behind her, and Lily was shocked to find herself in a very familiar place. It was the park back home in Cokeworth, where she had first met Severus.

She saw the pitiful sight of her best friend barely moving on the swing which she had gleefully flown off of all those years ago, his feet lifelessly dragging on the ground as he sat lost in his own thoughts. Seeing the sight of such a wonderful memory juxtaposed by the grim figure of Severus obviously shaken by what had occurred at the lake left Lily with a stabbing pain in her heart as tears started to trickle down her cheeks.

"_Oh Sev...Why? Why would you be here?"_ was all Lily could think to herself as her feet moved towards Severus almost of their own accord. As gentle as she was placing her hand on his shoulder, he shot forward again like her touch had hurt him as he broke out of his thoughts. She looked down at her friend as his gaze rose to meet hers, an audible shudder escaping her lips as she saw something that hurt her just as deeply.

The heavy sense of exhaustion that Lily had seen in her friend's eyes before was but a fraction of the fatigue they showed now. It haunted Lily, seeing Severus like this. It was like looking into the eyes of an animal at the zoo, one whose soul had long since died and left it as a hollow shell that accepted defeat. She had known that life was not easy for her best friend; though she had never imagined that he was _**this**_ affected by it.

Severus stared searchingly into Lily's green eyes, as he choked out in a raspy voice "What are you doing here..?"

All purpose Lily had in finding Severus was lost in that moment as she heard the pain shivering in his voice; his obvious attempts to hide it were completely ineffective. All her mind knew in seeing him was that she had to help him fight back against whatever was hurting him so. She knelt down to meet him at eye-level as she reached forward and hugged him.

"Sev, it's okay. I'm okay. You did the right thing letting him go…" she sniffled, trying not to break down at seeing him like this. "Why are you hurting so much? Sev, what happened with Dumbledore?"

Severus lifelessly draped one arm around Lily's body, unable to muster the emotion of holding her tightly without the fear of his armor...his _safety_ breaking loose and failing him again. "I...I can't hide anymore, Lily...I can't fight without all of _this_ sweeping in. There's so much I've held inside, so much that _has to_ stay inside, but my magic doesn't respond anymore if I keep it in…"

Lily could hear the misery that broke from his empty voice every couple of words. Something was truly lingering in Severus' mind and was so excruciating that it was threatening to destroy him. She released the hug to hold him at arm's' length instead, looking into those eyes and again seeing a shift.

No longer did those expressive, black eyes represent an bottomless pool, nor did they shine of that protective glint. Now, all Lily could see was an icy, glazed look of absolute defeat. Whatever he was hiding from was killing him.

"Sev...you can tell me. Whatever it is, you can tell me and I'll try to help, I promise!"

As his eyes barely registered the tears running down Lily's face, only one thought permeated his mind as the voice within him spoke again.

"_No she can't help...You don't deserve her. You've never deserved her."_

Unable to break free of her gaze and upon being assaulted by that voice, something far more potent lept forward past the holes in his armor. Another memory.

_The lake...James Potter's attack...Lily coming to help him...and then…_

"_I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"_

Severus broke his gaze, snapping forward as he cradled his head with his arms, trying desperately to keep everything in as his breaths became rapid and labored. He thought he had heard something, a single intake of breath that was hidden amidst his own.

"Sev...what..? What was that?" Her voice was quivering even worse than his. "What...did I just see?"

Immediately, Severus' attempts to breathe were stopped at the sudden realization that Lily had just seen what he had. Could see what had _truly_ happened on that horrendous day by the lake. He had to lie, had to deflect the question, but all that poured from his lips was a breathless, misery-filled confession as he looked back into her eyes with a look that could never convey how sorry he truly was.

"My worst memory…"

Lily's wide eyes narrowed in confusion. "But...what? Sev, no...you've never called me that. I know now, you would _**never**_ call me that…" Her voice was so gentle, so caring as she pressed her hand against his left sleeve, right over…

_He was kneeling, his breaths weak due to the pain of the ritual, but smiling with pride as he looked up to the face of his master. He relished in the pain, knew that from this point forward, the burning on his arm would remind him that he was a part of something grand. The Dark Mark was a branding that proved his worth, and soon all of his dreams would come true as he pledged his oath of loyalty to the Dark Lord._

Severus snapped back to reality again, his arm recoiling from her touch as he curled it back to his chest. His hyperventilating, if such a thing were possible, was even more rapid and frantic than it was before as he covered his left arm with great shame. His eyes were cast downward, unwilling to face her emeralds anymore for fear that he would see a hatred and disgust far worse than that night at Gryffindor Tower a lifetime ago.

Lily's hand, which she had meant to offer to her friend as a source of comfort, was shaking. She was sure of what she had seen. She saw _him_, Voldemort, that evil man whose name had grown so notorious that it had become unspeakable. A pale face adorned by dark hair, a faint red glow in his eyes. A face that she had seen more than a few times in the Daily Prophet's front page news as of late. And she also saw her friend_, _kneeling before the dark wizard and placing his life firmly in his service. She saw the nightmarish mark that had been branded upon his arm as he proudly became everything she feared...

She was unsure of what to do...it had seemed so real, as whatever had forced itself from Severus' mind had shown her the images in such vivid detail. But she shook her head, knowing that this Sev, _her Sev, _could never have done any of those things if the images were affecting him with such pain. No Death Eater would be ashamed of what they had both just seen...She had to show him what she already knew.

Severus maintained an iron grip over his left forearm, determined not to reveal any more to Lily. But as he felt her take his arms into her hands, the smoothness of her skin left his grip with little more strength than a soaking dish rag.

He trembled, but didn't pull back, when Lily peeled his left sleeve back, a sigh of relief breaking her breathless silence as she held the clean, pale arm to him, no Dark Mark in sight.

"Sev, look...it's not real...You're not one of them; you'll NEVER be one of them! Please…" she took his unresisting arms, and wrapped them around her neck as she burrowed her face into his chest. "Whatever is wrong, Sev, please, let it go! I'm here!"

The pleading words of his beloved Lily were all he could take as he felt his Occlumency crumble once more as nearly twenty years of regret and pain began to push outward, the childhood pride at wanting to impress Lily long dead as the tears poured down Severus' face. He returned her embrace with an equal fervor, holding her tightly as he finally wept like the weak boy he knew he appeared to be.

It was here, unprotected by his Occlumency, that Severus finally understood the circumstances, that he was, in fact, alive again, that Lily Evans was here with him. He had known for days, but it wasn't until now that the reality of it all crashed down upon him in his moment of vulnerability. He held her as tightly as he could without hurting her; he feared, in that moment, that if he didn't, that she might be ripped from his arms and sent once more into the abyss of death, leaving him alone again. His voice choked out, begging and pleading, "Lily...you're here...please say this is real...please tell me you're here..!"

Lily moved her body upward, remaining firmly in her best friend's embrace as she kissed his forehead, staining his hair with her own tears. "Shh...Sev...it's okay. I'm here, Sev...I promise this is real...It will always be real."

For nearly half an hour, the only noise that echoed throughout the Room of Requirement was the creaking of the swing alongside the sniffles and shallow breaths of two young friends as they sat, hugging one another with no feelings or emotions held back any longer.

**Author's Note: Phew. Two heavy breakdowns back to back. I hope that I'm adequately conveying the true depths of the pain that we all know exists deep within Severus' heart. Twenty years of locking everything away in a vault, never to be opened, would drive anyone to the brink of madness, let alone someone who has seen and done as much as he has. With that in mind, I knew that I couldn't stop Severus' emotion with just the anger from last chapter; there needed to be a great amount of sorrow and shame as well. And it all needs to be let out in order for him to progress and mature as a character.**

**This long Sunday is going to end next chapter, finally, and I promise that a few of the minor things will be solved before the O.W.L.s start. Remus' wounds are going to be healed by Severus at Lily's request, and justice will be dealt to both Rosier, and also Mulciber for his prank on Mary. How will the young Gryffindors react to the strangely-reformed Severus?**

**Also, I'm pleased to announce that my story has just passed 100 Followers. I'm so glad to see that this many people are enjoying my work, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I love writing it. If you REALLY enjoy what you read, by all means write a review and give me your feedback; it's much appreciated and can help refine what I write next. It also gives me a much more detailed view on what the fans of Tempus Vita think of it, and that's something that's very valuable to me as a writer. Thanks again and please stay tuned for the next chapter!**


	11. Chapter 10: May the Wounds Be Healed

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or concepts of the universe of Harry Potter. All rights belong to Jo Rowling.**

Severus and Lily slowly made their way out the door of the Room of Requirement, with the Gryffindor girl gently leaning against him with each fragile step she took. Most of the lingering pain of the Cruciatus Curse was gone in the time that had passed since the incident, but Severus insisted upon supporting her walk back to the Hospital Wing. Besides, all of the emotional displays in the room left Lily quite content in remaining close to her best friend, not quite wanting to end the hug that had been shared for a while now.

Lily looked up into Severus' obsidian eyes with a bit of consideration before she finally spoke. "I'm sorry, Sev…"

At Lily's sudden apology, the young Slytherin looked down at her with obvious bewilderment. "You're sorry..? What on Earth for?"

She sighed as they made their way to the Grand Staircase and started their trek down the steps to the Hospital Wing. "I guess I never really considered how you might be punished if you dropped those monsters like I kept pressuring you to...Rosier's face when he found out about your change...Sev, I was so afraid that he'd cast that curse on you too…"

Lily shuddered at the thought, remembering that all-encompassing pain of the Torture Curse all too well. She could never wish that kind of agony upon anyone else, least of all her best friend.

He merely looked down upon Lily with the thinnest of smiles. "Don't worry about that, Lily. What's done is done; that cretin will be expelled and held in detention at the Ministry. Underage criminals aren't often sent to Azkaban, but in his case and his casting of an Unforgivable, it would be the right thing if that's the route they take."

Lily's eyes widened in reminder of Severus' choice of words, remembering another responsibility she had in finding her friend. "The right thing...Sev, I wanted to talk to you about that." They stopped for a moment when they reached the fourth floor so as to allow Lily to catch her breath; it would take a good meal and a good night's sleep for her endurance to perk up again.

"Rosier's not the only Slytherin in your dorm that's cast an Unforgivable Curse and you know it...I'm asking you as Mary's friend, and yours, Sev. It wasn't right! Please turn Mulciber in for what he did to her!"

Severus looked at Lily in quiet contemplation at her request. He remembered the incident well despite the time that had passed. Oddly enough, he remembered it less for Mulciber's action and more for Rosier's hand in it, for it was his wand that Mulciber had used to cast the Imperius Curse on Mary Macdonald. He remembered laughing that someone close to Sirius Black had been humiliated; at the time he considered it just payback for Black instigating the encounter at the Whomping Willow that nearly ended him. But since his reformation, all Severus could feel about the incident was shame that an innocent girl had been hurt terribly in the process, even if she was Sirius Black's girlfriend.

Looking into Lily's eyes, he imagined those gleaming emeralds, so full of life, dulled and glazed over by the hypnotic effects of the Imperius Curse, hearing the vitality in her voice reduced to a low, obedient drone complying with whatever she was commanded. That image was brought on by his remembering Rosier's sickening offer he made following the incident.

_Evan Rosier was laughing alongside his dorm mates as he took back his wand from Mulciber. "Nice work, Linus. A mudblood and a blood traitor humiliated with one spell. If they come snooping, deny it and give them your wand to check; they won't find a thing!" Rosier's pale blue eyes turned to Severus as he held his wand to him as an offering. "What about you, Snape? I bet if you cast the Imperius on that Mudblood you hang around with that she'd be a hell of a shag!"_

One of the few things that Severus could say he was proud of his teenage self for was the fact that he had brushed off Rosier's offer. Even in the midst of aspiring to be a Death Eater and involving himself with the Dark Arts, he wasn't so far gone that he'd accept such a monstrous temptation. He couldn't, and wouldn't, bring himself to essentially rape Lily, no matter how much he wanted her. She'd never forgive him for it.

"_She never forgave you anyway…"_ came that inner voice again as he forced up his Occlumency just in time to stop that embarrassing memory from leaping into Lily's mind as the others had done. It was like his conscience was its own entity now, determined to confess his sins and show Lily everything he was ashamed of. He intended to tell her everything at some point, but not now, and definitely not all at once.

When he was sure his Legilimency attempt was over, he slowly lowered his barriers again as he responded to her request. "Lily, of course what he did to her was wrong...If that's what you wish, I'll talk to Slughorn about it. I'll even submit my memory as proof if that's what it takes."

Lily honestly didn't know why she should be surprised by Severus' accommodating behavior anymore. There were no words shared about how the curse had been cast "just for a laugh" or any protest about how there was no proof. She asked, and he agreed, as if he'd planned to do so all along. Even though it ached a bit to do so, Lily's smile returned and she wrapped her arms more tightly around Severus, relieved that justice for Mary would be coming.

Severus truly could not grow tired of seeing joy in Lily's eyes, nor the affectionate hugs that she gave him. He almost felt guilty receiving such wonderful gifts from her because his decision also had some self-serving motivation. Now that his change was made public to Slytherin House, he needed to start thinking about his own safety if he was to live another two years in their company. The dangerous ones had to be cut out of the picture now. Avery was a snivelling coward, but the other two were not to be trifled with, and Severus would be damned if another threat to Lily came out of Rosier's vile lips.

If there were any justice in the world, both Rosier and Mulciber would be tried as adults for their use of Unforgivable Curses and be thrown in Azkaban, never to get their wretched, Death Eater habits off the ground in this lifetime.

* * *

Upon arriving in the Hospital Wing, it was clear to Lily that she and Severus had arrived just in the nick of time. Remus was in the hospital bed in the far corner away from the entrance. Even from so far away, she could see that her fellow Prefect's white hospital bed was stained in a deep crimson. Madam Pomfrey was practically shouting all manner of incantations to control the injury, but her determination was not enough to control the boy's bleeding.

Lily was about to turn around and plead again with Severus for his help, but as if he had read her mind, he stepped ahead of her and walked with a brisk pace before two bodies barricaded his route.

James and Sirius both glared at Severus, their eyes swimming with sorrow for their friend's condition and a great distrust of the newly-arrived Slytherin.

"Let's get one thing straight, Snape." Sirius uttered, his voice little more than a quiet whisper, but fury was absolutely radiating from it nonetheless. "What happened at the lake is your fault. Those snakes were there on YOUR behalf, and Rosier used YOUR damn curse. How can we trust this wasn't your own little scheme from the start for what happened to you on Thursday?!"

Severus was about to mention to the Marauders how he was the only chance Lupin had of not dying from blood loss, but never got the chance. Lily stepped between the boys, her nostrils flaring in disgust at the pair. "How dare you?! How dare you act like Sev had anything to do with that when he's the when who stopped them?!"

James shook his head at Lily. "Evans, how do we know that he wasn't watching the whole thing?! Isn't it convenient that he only showed up when you got involved? He easily could've planned it and only stopped it when you got hurt because Rosier got overzealous."

Lily snorted in disbelief, unable to believe such an idiotic notion could leave James' lips after how nice he'd been today. "You're impossible, Potter! I left Sev in a meeting with Dumbledore; he didn't skive it off to plan an attack with people he no longer associates with. Did either of you hear what Avery said when he shouted to Rosier about Severus being on his own now?!" She took Severus by the hand and shoved through the Gryffindor boys, glaring at both of them with extreme disappointment.

Severus could scarcely hide his sneer of revulsion at the audacity the Marauders had to accuse him. _"Idiots, the lot of them. I was a fool to think they'd change even if I had."_

Once he and Lily made it to the bed Remus was being treated on, Madam Pomfrey raised her head, traces of panic etched into her eyes. "Mr. Snape! Minerva said you'd be coming by. Whatever this spell is, I can only cover the wound and halt the blood loss; I can't close it!"

Severus approached the Prefect's quivering body, gazing at the aftermath of his own spell: shades of Harry Potter's attack on Draco Malfoy. It was amazing how much damage Sectumsempra could cause when cast by a careless or malevolent user. Turning to the nurse, he spoke quickly. Time was of the essence as Remus had already gone into shock and needed to be healed fast.

"Madam Pomfrey, I'll need two vials of Blood Replenishing Potion. He's lost too much for one vial to top him off. I'll also need Essence of Dittany once the wounds close to help the healing process."

The school Healer nodded and immediately left to fetch the requested supplies, a bit surprised that a student was capable of handling such a diagnosis prior to his attempt to treat Lupin.

Lily could only watch in fright at the prospect of losing her friend; there was so much blood and seeing him convulsing in shock snapped her into a need to act, lest she go into shock herself.

"Sev, what can I do to help?!"

Severus drew his wand, trying to focus on whatever he could to stay calm and not use his Occlumency. "Just watch and listen; there's a chance this might not work and if my magic fails again, you need to be my backup." And then, Severus locked himself away again, not behind Occlumency, but focusing on the relief he felt at his and Lily's time in the Room of Requirement. The outward push of his emotions made him feel considerably lighter, having been able to express it with the person who mattered most to him.

Lily prepared herself, determined to study whatever spell Severus was about to cast. She saw him slowly trace his wand across the thick gash, and was completely unprepared for what came next.

"Vulnera Sanentur…"

It was the strangest thing, hearing that incantation. Lily thought that Severus' voice had suddenly taken on the properties of an angel, the words slipping from his lips resembling those of a soothing song. Her friend, who had always been so dark and grim a figure growing up, had created this vastly different spell that was assuredly light in nature?

Severus made another motion with his wand, vanishing the bandages that McGonagall had conjured on Remus' body and Lily's eyes flickered with the barest of hope. The blood flow was slowing considerably, but had not yet halted. Had the spell not worked properly?

"Vulnera Sanentur…"

Again, the song-like chant came, this time the lines of blood surrounding the wound proper began to vanish as all the residue was cleared. Lily shook her head briefly. It still wasn't enough?

"Vulnera Sanentur…" a pair of voices sung. Severus opened his eyes briefly to see Lily's wand also tracing down the wound, smiling at how quickly she was able to catch on to the technique and watched with pride as the wound knitted itself. Her involvement wasn't necessary, as the process was going normally anyway; three casts were commonplace for severe wounds. But it brought a sense of companionship hearing Lily flawlessly casting one of his own spells, one that was far more suited to her pure heart than any of the curses he had made.

With a sigh of relief, Lily leaned onto Severus' shoulder as she watched Madam Pomfrey return with the required supplies to help Remus heal. It also amused her somewhat to see the shock on the nurse's face when she saw the wound had indeed been closed.

"_Was there really any doubt? Sev is a genius…"_

Lily's silent praise of her best friend was interrupted by the noise of the hospital door slamming open, with the trio of Professor McGonagall, Professor Dumbledore, and Professor Horace Slughorn walking toward the bed of Remus Lupin.

"Oh, thank heavens his wounds are closed!" McGonagall's elation was obvious due to the high pitch of her voice. Turning her face gratefully towards Severus, she seemed to be looking at the young Slytherin with a sudden respect at his actions.

"I was so afraid Mr. Lupin might not make it with how Poppy was struggling. Twenty points to Slytherin for your actions here, Mr. Snape. Alas, I fear that does not recoup the fifty points I took from each of the instigators down by the lake, but you have my sincerest gratitude nonetheless. You've really proven yourself to be different than I had thought, Mr. Snape!"

Dumbledore's ever-joyful face nodded somewhat with its own acknowledgement. "Indeed, he has been a surprise today, Minerva. Horace, I'm rather surprised that you've made no attempts to add this young man to your Slug Club, his actions today alone should be a shining example for all of Slytherin House." There was a hint of purpose in Dumbledore's words that Severus knew from experience in dealing with his machinations. There was no way the Headmaster would make such a casual comment about Horace's collection as if he cared about Severus' feelings of being snubbed. Something was not right, as he saw that gleam in Dumbledore's eyes.

Slughorn merely gasped at the Headmaster's words, taken aback by what had been the most playful of insults. Severus knew why, looking at the Head of Slytherin House as he stroked his enormous moustache. Despite his eye for talent, which Severus had in abundance, Slughorn had a rather nasty habit of focusing too much on his destitute status as a poor half blood that had been a far cry from the grand Prince family that his mother had been raised by.

It also probably didn't help that at this point in life, Severus was an unpleasant individual whose path towards being a Death Eater could be seen clearly even by the blind.

"It's certainly something I've considered in the past, Albus, but this is neither the time nor the place. Severus, my boy, you've done marvelously in assisting Mr. Lupin. I've been told of what happened by the Lake, but I'd like to hear your account of what took place if it's not too much trouble?"

Severus shook his head. "Not at all, sir. There's also something I'd like to discuss with you about that...unsolved matter regarding Linus Mulciber and one Mary Macdonald."

* * *

The news had spread quickly that two Slytherin fifth-years had been expelled and sent to juvenile detention at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. The pair had been incapacitated by one of their own and were awaiting trials that would determine whether they would be punished as adults for their usage of Unforgivable Curses upon their fellow students. The topic had run rampant across the Gryffindor Common Room after dinner, and everyone was crowded around Mary Macdonald, who was embracing Lily Evans with tears in her eyes.

Mary was unable to speak due to the roller coaster of emotions the day had brought, with her housemates being assaulted by the Slytherin Gang, only for the attack to have been stopped by an unlikely savior in Lily's friend Severus. Just as Lily had promised her that afternoon, the boy had come forward about Mulciber's monstrous act and he, along with the violent Rosier, were no longer students at Hogwarts.

It had been like a dream come true for the young witch as she held her friend, sniffling at the knowledge that Lily had to suffer through a Torture Curse before justice could be done. It had probably seemed like a silly matter to the other houses, but to her and her fellow Gryffindors, Mary being violated by the Imperius Curse had been a terrible blow to the tightly-knit group. She had been haunted by nightmares of Mulciber commanding her to do much worse things, and she thanked Merlin that she could finally be free from those fears now that the evil boy had been punished.

It was due cause for the entire House of Gryffindor to celebrate, as even Professor McGonagall had entered the Common Room to announce that Remus Lupin was going to recover from his wounds and be released from the Hospital Wing the following morning. As an added treat, she mentioned that they were once again ahead on points going into the final week of the school year, and encouraged the students to keep on their best behavior so the House Cup could be theirs. The second half of O.W.L.s were to come, but none of the fifth-years could muster any stress about it with what had transpired that Sunday.

**Author's Note: Finally the events of Sunday are over with (long overdue, I know). I had expected to be done with fifth year and heading into the Summer by Chapter 10, but my mind ends up racing and adding all sorts of new details and subplots. I hope all of the things these past several chapters have featured are up to everyone's liking, but if they're a bit too much on the detailed side, I apologize. The words are simply flowing out of my brain like water and I really don't want to stop this momentum of writing I've been on.**

**Tempus Vita is only three weeks old and already has over 35k words, and I can assure my readers that I'm just getting started with what I have planned for it. This story is going to stretch at least beyond Hogwarts Graduation, and given where I'm at right now, I can safely say that the end product is going to be over 100 chapters of relatively equal length. You all have no idea how happy it makes me seeing my story that's so new be received so well by the community with over 100 followers and nearing 100 reviews. Thank you all for your continued support and I hope I can keep up this pace yet keep refining my style to a more sophisticated level.**

**Given that I do have dreams of becoming a published fantasy author someday, I really appreciate it when a reader takes the time to review, critique, or discuss what happens in each chapter. Thanks again and please keep those reviews coming in!**


	12. Chapter 11: Brewing Questions

**Disclaimer: I have no ownership or rights to the characters, concepts, or settings of the Harry Potter universe.**

Severus had always been an early morning riser even during his original days at Hogwarts, but it astounded him how empty and quiet his dormitory was. Now that two of his fellow fifth-years had been removed, all that remained was Avery, who was far from a worry with how terrified he was of Severus.

Gathering fresh robes and his school uniform, Severus made his way towards the boys' showers, peeking his head down the corridor to make sure he wasn't in danger of being ambushed. It was a habit he had grown into during his last days as Hogwarts Headmaster; always making sure that he was alone and not in the presence of staff, students, or the Carrows.

As he took his place under the cool stream of water, Severus took a mental note of all the current students that might take issue with his obviously shifting loyalties. It wasn't as if Slytherin House was a full-fledged Death Eater breeding ground, not even during the days of the rise of Voldemort. Though the snobbery was almost unanimously shared by all, quite a few of the students kept to themselves and didn't get too heavily involved with the bigotry and politics that most of the aspiring Death Eaters did. This was especially more common in the case of half-bloods; Severus was a very rare exception in his original lifetime and obviously had no intentions of being so again.

Now that Rosier and Mulciber were out of the picture, there were very few students left in Slytherin to worry about. Wilkes was the most dangerous, but given that he was a seventh-year Prefect who was up to his nose in N.E.W.T.s and would be gone the following year, Severus was confident that he wouldn't have to worry about him. The only one that would be staying for at least another year, besides Avery, was Regulus Black, who was in his fourth year.

Thinking about it, Severus could recall that like himself, Regulus had begun to question his loyalty before he vanished around the same time as Voldemort did. For the moment, however, Regulus was clearly still in the camp of pure-blood Slytherin ideology that was trademark for the "Most Noble and Ancient House of Black". It would be wise to keep his eye on the boy and try to find anything that might shift those loyalties sooner.

As he made his way out of the shower, complete with the shampoo scent of rain that had become habit as of late, Severus once again found himself staring at the mark on his chest. There was no coincidence in the placement of the symbol now that he had a basic idea of why he couldn't cast before.

"_Whatever created this mark obviously had no mind for subtlety," _he thought with a scoff. But why a lemniscate? What was the significance in an infinity symbol curved upwards to resemble a heart? Besides, of course, the blatant connection of it being over his own heart.

It was a question that would no doubt drive him mad in waiting for Saturday to arrive, and he had a whole week of O.W.L.s to deal with in the meantime. Not that Ordinary Wizarding Level tests would provide Severus any particular challenge, not with years of learning from two of the greatest wizards in history under his belt.

Taking one final look at the mysterious rune, Severus slipped on his shirt followed by his Slytherin robe, before finally making his way to the Great Hall for breakfast.

* * *

The Slytherin boy bit into his wheat toast with mild disinterest; he'd been more concerned with the look that Lily was giving him at the moment. The two friends were sitting across from one another at the corner of the Hufflepuff table for one last meeting before their Potions O.W.L. started. A little-known fact about dining in the Great Hall was that there were no truly assigned tables outside of school feasts, but it was rare for students to deviate from that tradition. This particular spot was one where Severus and Lily would eat together if they wanted to be away from Slytherin and Gryffindor ridicule, and thus the Hufflepuff table became a sort of neutral ground.

Severus politely wiped his mouth with a napkin before returning Lily's gaze and broke the silence. "Lily, I know my nose may be unusual, but it's not polite to stare." he joked with his usual deadpan tone and thin smirk,

Lily merely shook her head and slapped Severus' shoulder playfully. "I happen to like your nose, despite what everyone else says. It's hooked like a raven's beak, so it goes well with all that black you insist on wearing." She paused for a moment, letting a smile flood her features. "Quoth the Slytherin…"

"Nevermore." he answered. It had taken another moment of giggling from Lily before she rested her hand on top of his

"I was just trying to think of a way to tell you how proud I am of you, Sev...Yesterday could've gone so dreadfully without you there to help. You fixed so much damage caused by them that it makes me feel guilty."

Severus set down his fork to give Lily his undivided attention before turning his hand upward to grip hers. 'What would you possibly have to feel guilty about, Lily? You were as much a victim yesterday as anyone was."

"Yes, but something's troubling you, Sev, and I can see it clear as day. That time in the room...I wish you'd tell me what's been haunting you so deeply. I've never seen you so shaken up like that before, not even when we were kids-"

"And you're not likely to see it again." Severus interrupted her, his brow furrowing as he noticed the rising interest in Lily's voice. An inquisitive young witch like her would no-doubt be fussing over his change just as much as he'd been fussing over his new rune.

"Why not? So you can go bottling it all up again? It'll just burst out again and again until you stop trying to internalize so much. Everyone needs help sometimes, Sev. Even you. And I WANT to help you, if you'd just let me…"

Severus sighed and shut his eyes, not wanting any accidental Legilimency to erupt in response to her request. "Lily, I promise you I'm working on it. And I'll tell you during Summer, as I said. EVERYTHING. But not here, not now. I have to sort everything out before I'll ever feel comfortable trying to explain it to someone else."

Lily just sighed with defeat at her friend's stonewalling. For years, she found it impossible to argue with her friend due to his stubbornness and lack of flexibility, and it had been the cause for the tension between them. Lately however, his voice had taken on an almost adult tone that signalled that he understood what she was saying, but would not relent due to his own reasons.

"_It's better than him not listening to me altogether, I suppose…"_

Before their conversation could take a lighter direction to how well they planned to smash the Potions O.W.L., Lily's face brightened when she noticed a figure approaching behind Severus.

"Um, Severus?" came a female voice that the Slytherin boy was far from familiar with. He turned his head to see a blonde, fifth-year Gryffindor that he recognized as Mary Macdonald. "I just, well…I wanted to thank you for what you did yesterday...and to apologize to you." It was clear in Mary's voice that she was out of her element in talking to him; he remembered in his previous life that no words had been directly shared between them.

"I have to admit, I never believed that Lily would convince you to help me. I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I've been arguing against her associating with you for a while now. I'm sorry for that; it wasn't fair to you or Lily. And it's no excuse, but I had written you off from the start because you were a Slytherin, despite Lily's insistence that you had been her friend since before Hogwarts even started. That wasn't right either. I'm sorry, Severus…"

Looking at the girl with a bit of a critical eye, it took all of his discipline not to go on a rant towards her lack of eye contact or her hands in her pockets. That would've been what Professor Snape, Head of Slytherin House, would've done. Still, this was Lily's friend, and while it was obvious that she wasn't comfortable in apologizing, he didn't doubt the sincerity in her words.

"_This is your second chance to be a decent human being and change people's perceptions while you still can. You don't have to like it, but at least accept the girl's apology. She's making an effort, so why don't you?"_

"Think nothing of it, Mary. I spent a great deal of time sitting on that information when it would've been proper to expose Mulciber immediately. It would be unfair to suggest that I wasn't everything that you accused me of being, but I'm thankful that something helped me wake up." He turned back to Lily, who had a beaming smile on her face. "And obviously I'm not the only one who is thankful."

Lily alternated her glance between her two friends as she cheerfully chimed in. "Far from it, Sev. I think half of Gryffindor would be thankful if they weren't so bloody stubborn that yesterday was because of a Slytherin." She focused her attention on her fellow witch for a moment. "Mary, would you care to join us? Sev and I were just about to go over some last-minute Potions discussion, and I know you might need a bit of help with the Draught of Peace."

Lily once more placed her gaze on Severus, who adjusted his collar uncomfortably. She knew he wasn't much for studying with students less talented than himself, but he needed more friends in his life than just her. Mary's extension of apology might be the opening to help bridge that gap.

"That is, of course, if Sev is willing to share his treasure-trove of secrets that can turn an amatuer into a Potions Master." Her eyes twinkled with that little bit of persuasion that she knew would make his stubbornness relent, and was satisfied when he sighed.

"I suppose we could use a third..."

* * *

Both portions of the Potions O.W.L. proved to be absurdly easy for Severus this time around. He wondered if his knowledge of the other classes might have waned, most notably for Astronomy and History; he'd need a few hours of refresher study over the next two days. Potions, however, were second nature to Severus even during his first time taking the O.W.L., and years of drilling the subject into the minds of his students helped immensely in him finishing the tests before half the allotted time even finished.

The question for Severus regarding his grade wasn't whether he'd get an Outstanding, but whether he'd break any of the established records that the Ministry kept track of. After all, none of the improvements that he had made to the Potion-making process had become standard curriculum until his time teaching, and that was merely due to his dislike for teaching from the published material.

All of the standard textbooks contained recipes that hadn't been updated in decades, and it was laughable that Slughorn continued to use such outdated material when he returned to his post during Harry Potter's sixth year. Severus, despite his privacy when creating his spells and potions improvements as a student, taught his students from a chalkboard and shared what he had learned with the new generation, though none of them knew that to be the case.

Severus shook his head with amusement when the idea occurred to him to simply publish his findings in a new edition of _Magical Draughts and Potions._ Even if the prospect could make him a significant amount of money, he knew Arsenius Jigger would be rolling in his grave if his legendary textbook were replaced by one authored by a student still in Hogwarts.

That thought led to another, more pressing matter that Severus hadn't thought of. What exactly would he be doing with his life this time around, assuming the Death Eater threat were squashed earlier? The notion of teaching again nearly caused him to sick up; that was simply a means to an end in order for Dumbledore to keep tabs on him, and the fact that a former Death Eater was unlikely to be hired anywhere else.

Remembering his original meeting discussing career opportunities with Professor Slughorn, he didn't seem interested in any of the paths that had been suggested at the time, such was his confidence that he'd be a made man once he joined the ranks of Voldemort. Of course, now Severus was quite aware of the contrary, that not only would joining the Dark Lord not advance his place in the world, but also cost him everything that was dear to him.

"_I suppose that's something I'll have to think about during the Summer months and follow up with Slughorn when term resumes."_ he thought briefly before making his way to the Library to study.

* * *

Lily and Mary both exited the Potions classroom together following the end of the practical portion of the exam. The redhead turned to her blonde friend with a grin, hoping that Mary would be as confident in her results as she had been. "So, did the study session from breakfast help at all?"

"I certainly hope so. If nothing else, my Draught of Peace turned out the right color for once." Mary laughed, relief obviously in her voice. "Do me a favor and thank Severus later for his tip on the extra porcupine quills; I think that might've been the difference between an A and an E."

Lily raised a curious eyebrow at Mary's request. "Why don't you tell him yourself?"

"Honestly, Lily, that's a silly question. I don't want to impose; he's obviously got little patience for anyone but you." Mary muttered with a slight blush coloring her cheeks. "And I think the two of you could use your time in privacy without a third wheel like me to ruin the moment."

Lily's expression went from curiosity to obvious bewilderment. "Mary, what in Merlin's name are you talking about?"

Mary giggled and stopped walking to face her friend directly. "You were staring at him the whole time we were studying, Lily; it's like I wasn't even there! You always talk to Alice and me about how gorgeous James Potter is, and I agree completely. But even when he's not acting like a complete buffoon, you don't look at James like I saw you look at Severus. And Merlin, that's not even going into the way he looks at you!"

Lily tried to scoff at her friend's remarks, but was interrupted once more.

"Lil', you think I'm joking, but I'm being serious. You keep telling us that you can't wait for James to grow up. I swear, I'm not just saying this because I fancy James too. But have you and Severus ever…?"

"God, Mary, No!" Lily shook her head, her pale, freckled face quickly overrun by a deep shade of red. "Sev is my friend since we were nine...I know he may fancy me, but...he's my friend."

"Yet you're blushing!" Mary was laughing uncontrollably by this point, which only caused Lily to snap her face away from her friend's accusations.

"Damn it, Mary! Even if I were curious, I've only just gotten my best friend back after a long time of our relationship deteriorating! Why on Earth would I put that all at risk again over something fickle like school romance? At least if Potter gets his act together, there's nothing to lose by giving that a try...with Sev, I could lose so much…"

The two girls made their way out of the school's doors and descended towards the lake to meet Alice. After a few moments, Mary turned to Lily again.

"If he's looked at you with such longing and intensity, I think it's safe to say that Severus isn't happy settling for friendship. And if that's all you want, then you have to make that clear to him, or he'll feel like he's being strung along…

"Not that I think that's what you want either, given that hungry look in your eyes from this morning." she laughed, running from Lily as the red-headed witch gave chase before they reached their spot at the lake. Alice hadn't arrived yet, so the two girls made themselves comfortable and looked out towards the vast body of water in front of them. "All joking aside, Lily, have you considered what might happen if it DID work out?"

Lily remained silent, eyes glued to the water as she lost herself in thought to what Mary had suggested.

**Author's Note: Admittedly, there was no way to keep up the ever-increasing intensity that's been building for numerous chapters now. This one, and the ones leading up to the Saturday Ancient Runes exam will likely be considerably more uneventful and leisurely. Still, the lull in action makes for a good opportunity to do a bit of character exploration and fleshing them out more internally. Lily, in particular, and her ever-challenged perception of her best friend is what's going to be shown more of.**

**As always, I appreciate ANY AND ALL FEEDBACK that the story receives. Reviews, in particular, are SO helpful in moving forward chapter by chapter, and the more discussion about the story's direction I get, the more refined it can be moving forward. Thanks again, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!**


	13. Chapter 12: Scars of the Heart

**Disclaimer: As usual, I am not Jo Rowling nor do I own the characters or concepts of the Harry Potter universe.**

**SPECIAL WARNING: This chapter contains slightly more harsh language, and a scene depicting child abuse which may cause triggers.**

Tuesday afternoon was a free period for both Severus and Lily; neither of them had taken Care for Magical Creatures as an elective, though the same could be said for the majority of the student body. The two friends spent an hour reviewing for their shared Astronomy O.W.L. that they would take the following evening. Admittedly, Lily had more enthusiasm than Severus. The auburn-haired girl had always enjoyed stargazing and mapping the endless constellations.

For Severus, it wasn't that he had a lack of interest in the subject during his first life, but with literally decades spent doing nothing with the knowledge, he had little care in learning it all again. Thankfully, the two of them deemed themselves ready for that exam in relatively short order and moved on to study their other Wednesday exams. Lily's being Divination, while Severus would have Arithmancy.

"So…" Lily began, those emerald eyes twinkling with a playful curiosity. "Shall I give the cynical, non-believing Slytherin a palm reading to see what his future holds? Perhaps straight O's? All questions can be answered by the lovely Madam Lily!"

Severus' lips perked into a narrow smirk as he shook his head in faux ridicule. "Lovely you may be, but I don't need a bloody palm reading to know that I'm going to get straight O's. Because the numbers combined with my established history do not lie."

"Oh, but numbers are boring, Sev!" she giggled softly, so as to not attract unwanted attention from Madam Pince. Ever since third year when they took the similar, yet fundamentally different classes that attempted to chart the future, it had been a friendly feud between them.

Severus had always subscribed to the more grounded philosophy of Arithmancy, which focused on the numbers provided by history with which to map a rough future based on which sequences repeated themselves. It was also a useful tool in inventing new potions, mapping out what techniques and ingredients worked and why in order to find more potent and efficient alternatives.

Lily on the other hand, enjoyed the flair and mystery provided by Divination. Tea leaves, palm readings, tarot readings, and all other manners with which to prophesize the future were highly stimulating for such a large imagination as hers. To her, if neither of the subjects were a 100% reliable method for predicting the future, then the option with the most excitement was a preferable alternative.

Lily looked into the black steel of Severus' eyes with that ever-playful smile on her face. Without warning, she took his right hand with her left and began tracing slowly along his palm, eyeing each curve and break in the lines carefully. If she'd been less focused on her attempt to provide a reading for him, she'd have noticed her best friend's face slowly turning red, or the slight shivering he did at her touch.

Severus was overcome with absolute bliss as Lily traced along his hand. Each movement of her fingertip sent a tingle of electricity down his arm which spread throughout his whole body. Along with his growing butterflies was a building sense of apprehension.

"_Is she toying with me?! It's no secret that I'm fond of her. Why do I constantly turn into a damned, blushing idiot every time I'm around her like this and she insists on touching me so delicately?!"_

After a few more moments, Lily brought her green eyes back up to meet Severus'. His blush had subsided in time to not betray him as she whispered cheerfully. "Well, this line here…" she traced near where his palm met his fingers, sending another jolt of pleasure through his brain. "...Is an age line. You're fated to live an exceptionally long life."

Severus snorted at the unintentional irony of her assessment. _"Well, I've got over 20 extra years in the bank, so to speak. That's certainly an exceptional amount to add to even a standard lifespan."_

"This line…" she continued, tracing down the center of his palm and sending another accursed tingle down his spine. "...Is a line that describes the fulfillment of your life. There's a great many twists in the line, which signifies a great deal of personal turmoil. But it smoothes out after the middle, so it looks like it will be a perilous several years, but after a while, life will be a source of great happiness for you." she muttered, a sadness visible in her eyes despite her smile.

"_Peril and turmoil are my life story, Lily. I doubt happiness is what will await me in the coming years. My only shining light in the past 20 years is seeing you alive again. If you stay that way this time, that will suffice for my happiness, I suppose."_

"And this last line down near your wrist signifies the impact you'll have on the world around you. The longest line of all. Hardly surprising if Sunday was any indication." Lily added, beaming with pride.

Severus could only scoff. "Funny how you could tell me all of that just from reading my palm. Are all readings this vague, oh Lovely Madam Lily?"

Lily had not yet set down her friend's palm, and instead opted to lean closer to him, looking deeply into his eyes with that impish smile. "What's the matter, Sev? Why don't you trust a routine palm reading? Bad experience with prophecies?"

_Suddenly, those words poured something out of Severus' mind, and took him back to that moonlit hilltop. The night he had doomed his beloved Lily, who had long-since severed all ties with him thanks to his outburst and use of the word Mudblood. The same night that he had also changed sides forever, turning his back on the Dark Lord to fight for Lily's side. Lily's, not Dumbledore's. The old wizard was staring down a panting Severus, who had come to relay information that she and her family were in danger, and how desperately he needed to help keep her safe._

"_I - I come with a warning, no, a request, please!" The frantic tone in Severus' voice was a far-cry from the quiet cynicism of the boy he had been, but also vastly different from the charismatic, intimidating Potions Master he would grow up to be. This was the bridge between the two, where the wayward soul had finally discovered what was truly important to him._

"_What request could a Death Eater make of me?" The coldness in Dumbledore's voice lacked his warm, inviting tone that he had exhibited to everyone else who had known him._

"_The - the prophecy...the prediction...Trelawney…" Severus muttered to Dumbledore, shame etched in his very fearful eyes._

"_Ah, yes," said Dumbledore, suspicion growing towards his companion. "How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?"_

"_Everything - everything I heard!" Severus stammered, using all of the self control he could muster to not be rendered a weeping child. "That is why - it is for that reason - he thinks it means Lily Evans!"_

It took all of Severus' strength to tear himself away from that terrible memory of what he had done, and his futile attempt to keep Lily safe by going to Dumbledore. Barely managing to lock himself once again behind his Occlumency (a task that proved more difficult and ineffective with each passing day), he realized once again that his mind had betrayed him. He could see the terror ingrained in Lily's green eyes. It was clear that she had once again seen a memory that had forced itself out of his mind.

For Lily, yet another terrible image of Severus, this time slightly older, only brought with it more confusion and dread. If it had just been a vision, it would indeed scare her, but she could merely brush it off. The fact that it was obvious Sev had seen it too, and that he once again seemed less shocked and more ashamed than anything, only furthered Lily's panic.

Her lower lip was trembling as she looked at her friend's downcast eyes. _"Sev, what the hell keeps happening?! A meeting with Dumbledore? And he called you a Death Eater! Why do all of these...things...feel more like terrible, real memories than a vague, possible future? Prophesy? About me?"_ The questions continued to multiply in Lily's mind, and this time, she would not brush off what happened. Still with her hand gripping Severus', she got out of her seat and pulled him by the arm in a haste, leading him outside the library.

By the time they barely passed the threshold and made it into the hallway, Lily turned to Severus, eyes ablaze with a hard desire to get to the bottom of what they were seeing.

"Severus…" she muttered, glaring at him. He couldn't tell what hurt more, her burning glare that stained her normally sweet eyes or the fact that she had used his full name. "Do not attempt to dance around this subject anymore. You know exactly what I just saw! Why did I see an older you?! Why did Dumbledore call you a Death Eater?! Why, in that first memory on Sunday, the one that resembled the day you got hurt, did you call me a Mudblood?! And WHY DID I SEE YOU TAKE THAT WRETCHED MARK?!"

Lily's voice was positively fuming. None of what was happening made sense, but that knowing look in Severus' eyes could no longer be ignored. There had been three incidents of this memory sharing, each of them so terribly vivid and grim. And she could see in his eyes that he wanted to be anywhere but in front of her right now.

"Lily, I told you, I have to figure it out for myself. Please, give me a week when we're back in Cokeworth, I can't explain it no-"

"No, you WILL explain it now, Severus!" she hissed, her eyes swimming with conflicting emotions, seemingly on the fence with whether she was about to explode or break down in tears. "You have no idea what happens every time I get one of these...visions...from you. I can feel shame. I can feel sorrow. It's not just seeing them for myself that causes these things, it's like something is pushing all of that into me! I'd rather hear an explanation from your lips rather than see another one of those frightening moments! Now out with it!"

Severus shook his head slightly. It couldn't be here. It wasn't supposed to happen here, not yet. He couldn't tell her now with the stress of everything else at Hogwarts; it would destroy both of them. But it was clear that she wasn't going to relent, and he refused to lie to her. Even if he tried, it would likely turn out impossible.

She inhaled a sharp breath, almost in disgust. "I can't believe it...my best friend doesn't trust me enough to tell me? I told you yesterday, Sev, I want to know...Have the goddamn respect for me to tell me when I ask!"

That scathing remark caused something within Severus to snap at her words. The black beads of obsidian hardened as he returned her hiss. "The respect to kneel to your curiosity about something that I can't even yet explain to myself?! I have told you, promised you, that I would tell you when the time was right. And I still intend to, and I WILL NOT lie! That here, ESPECIALLY here in the bloody school where the walls have ears, is not the place for something so important!"

Lily's anger shrunk in response to her friend's outburst. Her voice became soft, devoid of anything but sadness and regret that she had crossed a line which caused Severus to erupt exactly like he used to. But unlike all of those times he'd snap in the past, it was clear that he was out to make a point about how intrusive she was acting.

"Sev...I want a clue...just give me a bloody clue as to what all of this has been and I'll drop it until Summer...but please, you're my friend, PLEASE don't leave me in the dark like this!"

Severus merely snorted, the seething fire in his eyes barely relenting. "You want a clue? Fine. Let's just say I've seen my future, _Madam Lily_," he spat. "And it's nowhere near the wonderful picture that you were so happy to paint for me." The young Slytherin's face contorted into indescribable anger; he was determined not to break down in front of Lily even as his fragile Occlumency continued to crumble.

Severus slowly approached the shrinking form of Lily, who was beginning to tremble and back away from his anger. The pain of her innocently-placed palm reading felt like an insult to what he knew to be his reality. "I'll die at a considerably young age...everything that was truly important and worth living for to me? Gone! Dead! And not a soul will care about the marks that I leave on the world when I'm gone; no, they'll all CELEBRATE!"

He took several deep breaths before the reality of the situation struck him. His anger immediately evaporated when he saw Lily wilting in fear against the marble wall, fright and hurt etched on her freckled face. She was afraid of him…For a moment, he saw her wide, green eyes and red hair both turn black...

_The six year-old boy opened his bedroom door and made his way through the hallway with a playful hop every couple of seconds, his imagination running wild. He made his way down the shabby, carpeted staircase with a cheerful spring in his step. He couldn't wait to show his parents what he had done last night when he came down for a sip of juice. He was so happy! He could cast magic after all!_

_As he rounded the corner and hopped to the kitchen, the boy stopped and was petrified at the scene before him. His father, Tobias, was towering over his mother Eileen, who had huddled into the corner of the room near the pantry. In the elder Snape's hand was a Quaffle, though the boy couldn't tell what was more red, the Quidditch ball or his father's steaming face._

"_The bloody hell were you thinking, woman!" the imposing man spat, disgust in his eyes at the cowering witch before him. "That football was signed by the ENTIRE Lions championship team! That was priceless and yet you have the nerve to turn it into this garbage?!"_

_Eileen was stammering at her husband's suddenly violent behavior, wincing as he slapped her across the face. "Sweetheart...I-I didn't…" she trailed off, noticing their son had arrived in the kitchen and was still as a stone. Her eyes widened in dread-filled realization as she gasped, now in fear for the little boy that had walked in._

"_Y-yes, Tobias...I did it, please..! Please punish me and let that be the end of it!" Eileen broke into a defeated sob as she was slapped again._

"_You swore to me that this nonsense was over! That this freaky shit was done when you married me!"_

"_Daddy, stop!" cried the little boy, whose arrival had gone unnoticed by his father. "Mummy didn't do it, I did! Please stop hurting her!"_

_Eileen's fear multiplied ten-fold as the boy doomed himself to the fate she tried to save him from. "Severus...no, baby, NO!"_

_Tobias stared at his son with wide eyes, his whole body quaking. "M...my boy...no...no, you can't be one of them too!" The intimidating man stood silent, raking his hands through his dusty brown hair as his shock morphed into absolute hatred. "Think it's funny, do you?! Transforming my property into something from your filthy, magical world?!" He marched towards the young Severus, whose own tears of fear started to flood outward._

"_Toby, please, no!" Eileen screamed, gripping onto her husband's wrist. "He's so young, it was an accident! He didn't mean to!"_

_The stronger man simply threw his wife off of him, her head crashing against the hard refrigerator door as her legs gave out. She sat on the floor, sobbing as she weakly stretched her arm, trying to reach for her son._

"_Now, pay attention, woman!" Tobias bellowed as he grabbed Severus by his thick, black hair. "This is what happens to freaks who do magic in my house!" The man brought his fist up to meet the child's nose as a sickening pop could be heard amidst Severus and Eileen's cries. Both adults could see from how their son's nose contorted that it was broken, but only the mother seemed to care. _

_Tobias cruelly threw the boy down to the ground and stormed out the door, muttering obscenities with each step he took. All the young Severus could see amidst his tears and blood were his mother's terrified black eyes as consciousness slowly left him…_

_That was the day that changed everything for Severus. His meager family hadn't been well off, but he never felt unloved before that day. He and his father always listened to the radio to support their beloved Football team, the Aston Villa Lions. On the rare occasion Tobias had a day off from his job at the mill, he would take his wife and son on a picnic to the park in Cokeworth, playing Football happily with his boy._

_And his mother, Eileen, was such a wonderful woman. She had always put Severus to bed with a fantastic story about Hogwarts and the wizarding world. Quidditch had been the little boy's most requested subject for stories, and he always dreamed that he could one day play. His habit of hopping around was his innocent impression of a Quidditch Chaser on a broomstick, and he hoped that he could be sorted into Gryffindor House so he could play Chaser for them. He thought that his father might enjoy that he had joined a house so reminiscent of their favorite Football team and prayed that he could make a good Lion himself._

_The young Severus never understood why his mother only spoke about the wizarding world when she put him to bed and never around his father. He always remembered asking her when she kissed him goodnight if she thought he'd indeed be a wizard, or if he'd just turn out to be a Squib that couldn't cast magic._

_Eileen's response was always the same, a sad smile on her lips. "Of course you'll be a wizard, Sevvie. You're a Prince…"_

_After that day however, Severus' life changed drastically. He no longer dreamed of playing Quidditch and flying a broom. His naive hopping had ceased and made way for a cautious, spidery sneaking. He no longer loved Football, quite the contrary in fact. Anything that reminded him of his father only brought forth traumatic memories of the man's frequent abuse. No, anything that triggered his memories of Tobias was met by the boy's rapidly growing hatred._

_As for his mother? Eileen tried to stop Tobias' beatings of both her and her son, but resistance proved futile. The woman had long since abandoned her wand at her husband's request to live an ordinary life, and the torture on her psyche made wandless magic quite impossible for her._

_After a few more beatings, Eileen had given up and locked herself in her room during Tobias' rampages. Such tirades became the norm thanks to his recently acquired habit of drinking heavily. She tried, in vain, to cover her ears to block her child's screaming from downstairs. Though after a few months, Severus no longer cried out. This stubborn defiance only served to heighten her husband's hostility, though the boy never broke down again, never wishing to give the shell that had once been his father the satisfaction of seeing tears._

_The horrible years of abuse continued flashing through his memories uncontrollably. Being whipped with Tobias' belt, having his ribs broken by a vicious kick, the shattered glass that sunk into his arm when his father threw empty beer bottles at him? It was all there, pouring outward, right into…_

"_NO!"_

Severus winced, breaking his eye contact with Lily as his hyperventilating resumed just as harshly as last time. He could see that her frightened posture had slackened, and her mouth hung open as limply as the arms that dangled at her sides. She had seen it.

"_No...no...no, no, no, No, NO, __**NO!"**_

It had been the one thing that Severus would never confide to Lily, that no matter how much she asked, he wouldn't let her know the horrors that occurred in that house. He couldn't bear the thought of bringing that much fear and anxiety into her otherwise carefree Summers. She, unlike Severus, had parents who loved and accepted her in spite of her magic. He didn't want her to fear for him, and he certainly didn't want her pity.

It was clear to Severus as he looked back up to those devastated green eyes and quivering lips of Lily's that he now had both.

With the slowest, most gentle of motions, Lily pressed her hand to Severus' cheek, her eyes swimming with tears. "Oh, Sev…" was all she could mutter before the sobbing and sniffling commenced, the tears now flowing down her cheeks.

Severus was shaking, recoiling at her touch as he stepped back out of her reach. He didn't deserve her pity. He had made Lily cry. He had terrified her. In that moment, all he could feel was self-loathing and a growing sickness in his stomach as he sprinted off in fear of what he had done...He had been many things in his life, but the one thing he had prided himself on was that he never resembled Tobias Snape...Until he saw that terror in Lily's eyes.

**Author's Note: My apologies if any part of this chapter may have upset readers. It is not my intention to remain so morbid moving forward with the story, but as I said, quite a lot of Severus' past must be established before I can move forward at a sufficient pace. It is clear that Severus did not live a happy or easy life, and that stretches back to before he met Lily as a child.**

**For starters, I wanted to portray flashes of a Severus who lived before his accidental magic started to occur, and thus presumably incite his father's wrath. A happy little boy who had dreams befitting a happy little boy before they were shattered by his father's abuse. It explains why Severus drew inward and attempts to link memories of his father with his dislike for Gryffindor using the real-world Soccer Team, the Aston Villa Lions. Given that Cokeworth is located in central England, I wanted to give the father and son a team to bond over, and consequently, an outlet for Severus' bitterness.**

**It's clear to me in reading The Prince's Tale that Severus tried to keep his conversations positive in the early days with Lily, hence my belief that he would be openly vague about what kind of relationship he truly had with his father. Given that he keeps to himself and obviously does not wish to speak of things that really bother him, I have little doubt that Lily would be completely ignorant of Severus' home life beyond the fact that his father had been his Boggart during 3rd year DADA classes. If she weren't in the dark, perhaps she might have been a little more understanding of his attitude and made more proactive strides towards keeping him on the path of light.**

**The next chapter is going to pick up IMMEDIATELY after this one left off, I just prefer to keep them at relatively the same length so that I can release them at my usual pace and not slow down. **

**As always, please Review if you enjoyed the chapter, any feedback offered REALLY helps. Thanks so much for the feedback and momentum that Tempus Vita has been receiving. It's already at over 10k reads and over 100 Follows and Reviews! Let's keep rolling!**


	14. Chapter 13: A New Friend's Advice

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or concepts of the Harry Potter universe. The words amidst Severus' thoughts at the lake are taken from Metallica's "Unforgiven III". I do not own the lyrics or rights to the song, and no profit was made from this fanfiction. **

Lily could do nothing but watch as Severus ran away from her attempt to comfort him. Her arm remained outstretched where she had caressed him momentarily before sinking back down to her side in defeat. The patter of her tears hitting the floor was all that permeated the silence as she lost sight of her best friend down the corridor.

It was obvious to Lily that Severus' scars and bad memories ran deep. Those images of an older Severus seemed to be embedded from the future. Did he have visions of some possible future like the seers she'd heard about in Divination? Why did they jump to her when it was clear that he didn't want her to know until the time was right?

Lily couldn't bring herself to focus on any of that for very long, however. The one thing she kept returning to was that image of the past. That innocent, little boy having his childhood being beaten out of him by a man that she recognized as Severus' boggart from third year: his muggle father, Tobias Snape.

The sight of the little, smiling Severus was everything Lily knew her best friend was not. He seemed like a happy child, hopping around in his imaginary Quidditch games, and above all he was strikingly adorable to her. The thought brought a tear-filled, sad laughter to her when she recalled the boy she had seen, but never met before life had changed him.

The fragile laughter broke once more into a tragic sob when she remembered the day she met him. Even a few years later at age nine, Severus had already transformed into a cautious, timid boy who was far too cynical for his age. But then, how could he not be, with an abusive father and a mother who could not save him? He was so reserved that it was so much harder for him to make friends, a stark contrast to his six-year old self.

Still, Lily could recognize that there were flashes of that little boy that broke free now and then. The day they met, for example. She remembered that joyful smile he had given her, the excitement he showed when he stopped hiding and stepped forward to meet her. It was a permanent fixture in the memory that was so dear to her. The day she met Severus, the day she found out she could do magic, her best friend was so closely interconnected to the magical world because of that day at the park.

Of course, to Severus, the magical world was to be his escape from Spinner's End, freedom from his father. Enter James Potter, the bane of Severus' life at Hogwarts. All those years that she could have done more than just tell James off, maybe she might have helped squash the issue before it became so large to them…

All at once, Lily felt guilty. Guilty that she had ever considered abandoning her best friend. Guilty for not being there and helping as much as Severus needed her to...guilty for being so bloody taken with James. It was too late to make up for the latter situation though; Lily had seen far too many flashes of the young man's energy, humor, and sometimes even generosity to hate him for his immaturity. He had fun at others' expense, which got on her nerves, but he treated his friends with a heart of gold.

Despite that, LIly knew in her heart that she could never think ill of Severus again. Not after he'd been changing, and especially not after what she had seen. Those other images still haunted her, but for the sake of whatever remained of that cute little Sev, she would wait for his explanation.

"_I at least owe him that much…"_ she thought as she took slow, somber steps back towards Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

Severus was short of breath as he made his way towards the lone tree overlooking the Great Lake. It had been the spot of many events in this second life, notwithstanding the incident from his first life which still haunted him...even now, a lifetime separating himself from the memory and with Lily back in his life, it was simply everlasting...the effect that Lily's friendship had on him and the lifetime of pain he felt following the way he had hurt her…

_How could he know this new dawn's light would change his life forever?_

It was all so foolish, buying into the empty, prejudiced ideals of Slytherin House, ideals that were weaponized by a man who had as much muggle blood as he did wizard blood. Even more ridiculous was that Severus himself was a half-blood, yet chose to fall into a crowd for a sense of belonging, believing that he could gain power and status if he followed the lead of Lord Voldemort...

_Set sail to sea, but pulled off course by the light of golden treasure._

Severus could still see the shock on Lily's face when he called her that wretched word on that day. And his younger self was so foolish that he hadn't seen that it was merely the straw that broke the camel's back after over a year of straying away from her. There was no apologizing for calling her a Mudblood when he hadn't even been smart enough to apologize for everything that came before it.

_Was he the one causing pain with his careless dreaming?_

He deserved the hatred he received from her then...just as much as he felt he deserved it now for having been stupid enough to snap at this precious girl as if he were his own father. Even in this second life, with all that he knew, he was still making the same, stupid mistakes he had made when he was an impetuous teenager. His emotions still got the better of him, even now, as the tears started to fall from his eyes. Occlumency was completely useless to him at this point, and there was no more hiding from the torrential wave of emotion that struck him moment by moment.

_Been afraid, always afraid of the things he's feeling._

As he rested his body against the bark and took in the sight of the lake, his mind was elsewhere.

_How can I be lost if I've got nowhere to go?_

He knew he couldn't hide away in the Room of Requirement this time because deep down, he wanted to be found.

_Search for seas of gold, how come it's got so cold?_

He hoped to whatever divine being that brought him back that James Potter would find him and punish him the way Tobias deserved to be punished.

_How can I be lost? In remembrance, I relive._

He doubted, if such a thing happened, that he'd even struggle. Severus felt nothing but emptiness; it was foolish for him to think even for a moment that he'd be worthy of Lily in this life any more than his last life. All the pain that he had gone through during the time after she died was his punishment, not his redemption…

_And how can I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive?_

* * *

Mary set her feet into the water of the lake with a sigh of relief as she joined Alice. "That's one class I'm glad to be done with…" The blonde witch spoke to her friend with only a hint of amusement.

Alice laughed a bit at Mary's obvious strife. "Magical Creatures don't sit well with you, I take it?"

The Muggleborn girl only shook her head before laying it back into the grass to gaze into the clouds. "It's so high-maintenance. Before I found out I was a witch, I always wanted to be an animal vet. Simple things like dogs and cats, I love both of them more than anything...but Merlin help me, I lost count of how many times I could have lost a limb in that class!"

"You given any extra thought as to what you might go for, career-wise?"

"Well, Professor McGonagall discussed it with me before O.W.L.s started and we tentatively decided on Healing at St. Mungo's. Lily and I wanted to go do that together. If that didn't work out, I've thought about catching up on my muggle schooling and getting that veterinary license after all. I thought that might be my only option, but my Potions O.W.L. might be good enough thanks to Severus' help yesterday."

"Severus Snape, hm?" Alice raised her eyebrow with a bit of curiosity. "What do you make of him now that you've actually spoken to him?"

"Well…" Mary began, pondering what to say. "He's brilliant, but that goes without saying with how much he and Lily study together. I kind of got the vibe that he didn't want to be around me...oh!" she was interrupted by a rather disgusted sneer by Alice.

"No, no! Not because I'm a Muggleborn or anything bad like that. Just that he's shy. Like having someone around that he wasn't used to make him uncomfortable. He was cordial towards me, doesn't seem prejudiced at all. It just seems like he doesn't like opening up. But Merlin, Alice!" she started giggling, remembering the day before. "You should've seen the way they looked at each other; I swear it was out of a fairytale book or something!"

"Oh? Do tell."

"Well, it's like when we started going over some things on how to brew a good Draught of Peace. Lily was hanging on every word he was speaking while I took notes. She was looking at him with fascination like he was the most interesting boy at school. It wasn't just her either. Every now and then, there'd be a break in his tips and I'd notice this thin, little smile come to his lips as he looked back at her. His eyes...god, Alice, it's like they were _shimmering_ for her!"

"But I always thought Lily fancied James?"

"That's the thing, she does. And I think she has it set in her mind that if he ever stops acting like a fool that she'll take him up on his offer for a date. But she doesn't look at James the way she looks at Severus…"

"Of course she doesn't, Mary! She fancies James while Severus is her friend. Don't you think you're looking too much into it?"

Mary sat back up, shaking her head. "No, Alice. The way she looks at you, me, or Remus, THAT is how she looks at friends. With Severus, she's glowing and she can't hide it nearly as well as she does with James. I'm not even sure if Lily realizes it herself, but something's definitely sprung up with how much she's been talking about his changes."

"Well...speaking of Severus…" Alice drifted off, motioning behind them with a nod of her head.

Mary turned to see the lone Slytherin halfway up the hill, looking rather grim against the tree overlooking the lake. She could only frown at the boy's obvious troubles. "He certainly looks like he's seen better days...Lily told me that she'd be studying with him; I wonder why he's out here alone?" Without another word, Mary stepped out of the water and gathered her shoes, making her way towards Severus.

Alice simply shook her head with a smirk. "Don't you have better things to worry about than playing matchmaker?"

Mary stuck her tongue out at the older Gryffindor with a playful grin and made her way over to the tree. "Severus? Something troubling you?"

Severus raised his eyes to meet the blonde girl's concerned face. Mary's voice had still been new and somewhat unfamiliar to him. "Oh...hello, Mary." He looked back down to the ground between them. "A great deal, but nothing I can really discuss in any detail…"

"Well, no need for details then. Just talk." she said, sitting near the Slytherin boy.

Severus just sighed, too tired and too shaken to tell the girl to mind her own business. Even if he considered the gesture a bit nosey, there was no hostility left in him today. This girl was offering to be an impartial outlet to him, and he didn't have the strength to say no anymore.

"I've done a great many things that I'm not proud of, Mary. Things that I'm not even sure you could fathom back when you still thought the worst of me...My dilemma is that I've agreed to confess it all to Lily over the Summer holidays, and if I'm to be honest...that scares me."

"You're afraid of losing her?" Mary asked, concern growing in her kind, blue eyes.

Severus could only muster a very shaky nod, unable to elaborate with words.

Mary averted her gaze back up to the cloudy sky. "Terrible or not, at least you're wise to your actions now, Severus…" She drifted off, considering whether or not to continue. A few moments passed before she committed herself to what she was about to say. "Let me tell you something about Lily that I doubt even you know. For nearly a year now, she's been crying herself to sleep. Not every night, mind you, but enough for me to notice, even when she tries to hide it."

Severus could only tilt his face downward even further, guilt etched in his face.

"I don't know any of these so-called terrible things that you've done, Severus, and to be honest, I'd really rather not know. I'm grateful for what I do know, and that's that you went to bat for me even if it meant retribution from your own house. I'm grateful that you came to my friends' defense, and that you saved Lily from being tortured by that bastard Rosier. Not only that, but you saved Remus' life! Whatever you've done in the past, it seems like it might've been peer pressure, and I think it's safe to say that you're making amends for them."

Severus shook his head, shutting his eyes to keep any tears from escaping around this girl who he barely knew. "You can't say that, Mary. If you knew half of what I had done before I woke up to reality-"

Mary interrupted with an exasperated breath. "Well, I don't. So all I can do is ask you this question. Are you sorry for what you've done?" She raised her hand to stop Severus from answering, wishing to elaborate. "That's a more loaded question than you might think it is. A lot of times, when people apologize, it's insincere. What they really mean to say is that they're sorry they were caught, not that they feel any remorse for doing the deed and learning from it.

"James, for example. Every time Filch or McGonagall catch him doing something particularly juvenile, he'll apologize with that smug grin that says 'I'll try to be more discreet next time.' Whatever it is that you're guilty of, Severus, I can see it clear as day that you're beating yourself up over it. That only hurts you, hurts your friends, and wastes precious time out of your life. If I can see you suffering and making up for your mistakes, what makes you think Lily won't?"

"Perhaps because she's the one that I've wronged and hurt the most…As sorry as I am and as much as I may regret, I'm not sure it'll be enough." Severus whispered.

"There's no use whining about what might or might not happen, Severus. You've already agreed to tell her, and if I were a betting girl, I'd say with how much Lily's been bragging about her best friend's changes, odds are that she won't react as badly as you fear. What's important to Lily is that you aren't on that path anymore."

"Lily's...bragged about me?" he asked, taken aback by what Mary said.

Mary smiled, rolling her eyes at Severus' almost mundane question. "Almost constantly. Damn near drove me crazy before I saw your new attitude for myself. I don't think you understand how important this last week's been for her. She hasn't cried in her sleep, hasn't seemed as distracted, and I daresay she seems happier. And looking back, I'm glad she never took my advice to give up on you, because I think that would've hurt her a great deal more than whatever it is you're going to tell her."

Severus was astounded by how forward Mary was being with him. Not a few days beforehand, she hated him on the principle that he was a Slytherin, and now she was trying to help him gather his courage to follow through with his inevitable confession to Lily. If nothing else, it might help him finish the rest of the week and make it back to Cokeworth without breaking again. A thin smile finally broke through all the sulking. "Thanks, Mary...you're alright, for a Gryffindor that is." He added with a smirk, extending his hand to his companion.

Mary returned the friendly gesture with one of her own, taking his hand and giving it a friendly shake. "And you're a halfway decent Slytherin, Severus. A week ago, I'd have denied such a thing existed."

As they said their goodbyes and Severus made his way back towards the castle, Mary got to her feet and returned to Alice's side. The elder Gryffindor sat in anticipation. "Well? That seemed to go rather well."

Mary nodded, her smile widening until it stretched ear to ear. "It did. He's a rather interesting boy when he's not sulking, pleasant enough when his mood allows. But Lily and I seemed to be off in our opinion that he fancies her."

Alice smirked triumphantly. "You see? They're just friends, that's no reason to suspect-"

"He doesn't fancy her, Alice." Mary's ever present giggling returned in full-force. "One conversation was all it took to convince me that the poor boy is far worse off; he is in LOVE with her!"

**Author's Note: As I mentioned before, the lyrics used during Severus' inner thoughts were from Metallica's Unforgiven III. I do not wish to turn any chapters into a songfic with music lyrics, but that trio of songs, specifically The Unforgiven and Unforgiven III, convey so much of what I interpret Severus' character to be going into my story. I toyed with the idea of integrating the last chapter with The Unforgiven, considering the message of lost innocence and growing bitterness to the world around him was a perfect fit for the scenario I wrote with Tobias' child abuse. I may go back at a later date and actually rework the chapter to include that if I can do so with justice to the song and to the somber tone I was going for.**

**With regards to Mary, I want her to be a kind of secondary Point-of-View character. I don't plan on going as thoroughly into her thoughts as I do Severus and Lily, but considering that Lily is her best friend in the story and that she's also starting to get to know Severus, I wanted to kind of add a little flavor by including her in the fun. A lot of times in the Severus/Lily fanfiction I've read, she's thrown in as a bit of an antagonist, which I feel is unfair considering we know so little about her; there's rarely ever any positive direction her character takes. Considering that Charity Burbage, the Muggle Studies Professor who is killed at the beginning of Deathly Hallows, still considered Severus a friend despite his betrayal I thought was a bit telling. I wanted to kind of parallel that with Mary in my story, a female friend that Severus can talk to, perhaps as a gateway towards a couple more friends moving forward.**

**As always, I'm amazed at how well Tempus Vita is being received by the community. Thank you all so much for the Favorites, Follows, and ESPECIALLY the Reviews. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, including anything about how Sev, Lily, and Mary were portrayed, or what you thought of the musical interlude. I hope to have another ready for you all soon! Take care!**


	15. Chapter 14: OWL Gauntlet

**DISCLAIMER: As always, none of the characters or settings in the world of Harry Potter are owned by me. Any characters used from the Harry Potter series are owned by Jo Rowling, with only a bit of original characterization provided by a humble fan of the series.**

To say that the Arithmancy exam was rudimentary to Severus would be an understatement. The first portion of the O.W.L. proved to be as second nature to the Slytherin as the Potions test two days prior. The years of improving upon established potion formulas and creating new spells had left his theoretical and practical concepts stellar to say the least.

The theoretical portion involved mapping out a series of given numbers and filling in the gaps in the sequences. From there, students were expected to predict the next three numbers after the last one provided, but once the formulas of mapping the numbers were figured out, it was little trouble to proceed beyond infinitely.

In truth, Arithmancy's core concepts, at least in theory, were similar to Muggle Mathematics, although the practical application was used to chart catastrophes in the wizarding world, as well as having a number of uses in predicting the results of wizards and witches who experimented on new potions and spells.

After making relatively short work of the theoretical portion of the Arithmancy O.W.L. Severus quickly made his way to the Astronomy Tower. Wednesday often proved the most grueling day of exams for students who took either Arithmancy or Divination electives. Since Astronomy was mandatory at the Ordinary Wizarding Level, combining it with an elective O.W.L. the same day proved to be a back and forth affair, doing the elective's theoretical, immediately followed by the Astronomy theoretical. Afterward, there would be a short break for lunch, then regrouping back to the elective's classroom for the practical portion, and finally back to Astronomy for the practical late at night.

It was an absurdity in Hogwarts' scheduling that hadn't changed even later on in Severus' life, and it was one he took some amusement in as he overheard the students' groaning in the hallways from repeated trips across the school. One could only imagine the insanity a student would go through if Arithmancy were taken alongside Divination, but no student in Hogwarts' long history ever made it to the fifth-year level without dropping one of the two. Mercifully, this meant that nobody was given the torture of enduring six O.W.L. sessions in one day, but the prospect was one often joked about amongst the staff members.

Upon starting Astronomy's theoretical portion, it was obvious that most of the information needed to be taken almost verbatim from Severus and Lily's study session, as it was only recently that he'd remembered the names of the four Galilean Moons of Jupiter. It did turn out to be a blessing that he had not used Astronomy in a great many years. Had he been more serious about it in his previous life, he might accidentally have named some of the moons yet to be discovered by the American Voyager probes in a few years.

After taking significantly longer than the other O.W.L.s since his resurrection, Severus finally handed in his essay on the four moons, and gathered his supplies to leave before briefly looking in Lily's direction, seeing her deep in thought as her quill scribbled on parchment. Not wanting to bother her for the moment by waiting around so they could talk about what happened with his latest "memory incident", the Slytherin boy finally made his way down the steps of the Astronomy Tower, deciding that anything they talked about could wait until after the Wednesday gauntlet was over.

As was common of Severus, both in this life and the last, he skipped lunch in order to make it early to the Arithmancy classroom before many of the students filed in for quite some time to get some last-minute alone-time. The thoughts running through his head were many, especially considering that the Arithmancy practical was known for students having to explain in detail some of the real-life applications they thought they might need, or if particularly studious ones were chasing extra credit, demonstrating some of the things they already used it for.

In his original life, Severus was far too greedy and protective of his accomplishments, too proud to share them with the examiners, to want to stand out. As it was now, there was nothing to lose by at least running through a list of the more tame spells and potions improvements he had created. Some of the more practical ones, such as Muffliato and Langlock, stood a real chance at receiving some notoriety in the dueling community, and as he had previously noted, quite a few of his potions improvements could very well become standard curriculum even if he no longer became an instructor.

Of course, the more extreme examples of things he had created, such as Sectumsempra, had no business becoming common knowledge in the wizarding world, as some things were too powerful and too easily misused, if Evan Rosier's attack were any indication.

Almost as if on queue with his brief recollection of his former Slytherin classmate, Severus was joined by a fellow student who had arrived early, and it was with a bit of astonishment that he was met by the face of Remus Lupin. The Gryffindor Prefect was obviously a bit worse for wear considering his ordeal just a few days prior. He still had some discomfort upon sitting down, not to mention the bandages that were visible underneath the collar of his robes. Besides those small features, however, Lupin greeted Severus with a pleasant smile.

"I haven't had the opportunity to thank you for saving my life after what happened at the Lake, Severus, nor the other things that you've done for Lily and Mary. All of Gryffindor is indebted to you, Severus. Thank you, really."

Sitting near one of the Marauders, who had nothing but praise for him, was unnerving to Severus, who couldn't help but dismiss what his companion said with a bit of a disinterested scoff. "There's very little to thank me for, Lupin. Lily is the reason a great deal of that happened, so if anyone deserves your praise, it's her. Nonetheless, it wouldn't do well for me to let one of her friends die of blood loss, nor let another of her friends suffer the continued unpleasantries of my former housemates."

"So all you do, you do for Lily then, eh Severus?" Remus interrupted with a knowing grin on his face. What he said next startled the Slytherin as his grin wavered somewhat. "Romantic as that may sound, that's a bit on the obsessive side. Don't you have your own morals that don't depend on the approval of another?"

Severus' eyebrow arched and his face grew obviously annoyed at the werewolf's insinuation. "I wasn't aware you were interested in what a Slytherin's view of right and wrong is, Lupin. Correct me if I'm mistaken, but making judgments on my values isn't a particularly noble way of expressing your gratitude."

"Nor is is it noble to brush off your own values of justice as mere whims of a girl you've known since before starting here at Hogwarts. Give yourself a bit more credit than that, Severus, and stop misdirecting so much. The tough guy act doesn't work so well when you've done so much good over the course of the last few days. It's driving James and Sirius bonkers; they insist you've got some ulterior motive for turning against the more militant Slytherins as of late." Remus added with a chuckle.

Severus' apprehensive look softened into a bit of a sarcastic smirk. "Oh, you didn't hear? My plan is to gain all of Gryffindor's trust before the real damage starts."

The Prefect nodded. "You joke, but James is trying to find something, anything that he can latch onto in order to take away this growing sense of trust for you amongst Lily and her friends. If I give Prongs one thing, it's the fact that he never admits defeat."

"There's a fine line between persistence and bullheaded stubbornness, Lupin. Potter would do well to stay on the right side before he makes a mistake he'll regret. I trust you'll try to keep him straight."

After a few moments of silence, Severus noted that there was still at least another ten minutes before the first prompt students would arrive and was bored enough to change the subject to more casual conversation with the Gryffindor boy.

"Why did you take Arithmancy, Lupin?"

Remus had begun removing his supplies, a quill, an inkwell, and some parchment before casting his head downward in thought. "Honestly Severus, I think that should be obvious. Arithmancy is used to find solutions to almost unsolvable questions. Spells and potions are created all the time. I guess one of the dreams I had when I took the course was if I looked at my...ailment...from every possible avenue, I might find something that I could use to live a more normal life. But in five years of taking this class, and with the intent to go on to N.E.W.T.s for it, I've got nothing. Not even an ounce of hope that anything will come along that can help, let alone cure me."

Severus let out an exhausted sigh, not in the mood to go on yet another tangent of Remus Lupin's tragic struggle with lycanthropy, though as always, the Slytherin did harbor some sympathy for everyone who was plagued with that terrible curse.

The thought hard occurred to him that it might be prudent to see the invention of the Wolfsbane Potion a few years earlier, for the sake of everyone at school to be safe from any stupid decisions made by the Marauders on the night of the full moon. However, it wasn't in Severus' nature to take credit for things that were not of his creation. Damocles Belby received numerous prestigious awards, not the least of which was the Order of Merlin, for his creation of the potion. The last thing that Severus wanted was to rip that accolade from an accomplished Potioneer by virtue of a leap back in time. It was still an ever-present problem as long as Lupin's transformations were left unchecked, however, and the situation needed to be rectified no later than the start of term next year.

As a few more students started to pile in the classroom, Severus and Remus' conversation trailed off and both were quickly engrossed in the second part of their Arithmancy O.W.L.s. For Severus, though the practical was far easier than it had been during his original lifetime due to his advanced experience, it was a far more thorough job he had done with it this time around. Unlike a great many of the O.W.L.s given at Hogwarts, the practical portion involved no privately-tested session with a Ministry specialist. All of the students had to write just as they had for the theoretical, though the subject matter was different. The test was quite ordinary, if a bit uninspired; students were to write a detailed essay on the potential uses for Arithmancy within their chosen career paths.

Though he and Slughorn had not arrived to a concrete career path in his original life because of his greater interest in joining the Death Eater cause, Severus merely chose what came first to his mind: Potioneer. Thus, all the mathematical applications for potions techniques on what kind of potion one wanted to brew, what ingredients to use, how much of said ingredients, heating and stirring instructions, it was all an exact science that had been second nature to the Slytherin for years. He wrote in great length about his particular hobby of refining classic recipes with his own improvements, his experience so vast that the essay totaled to over twice the length of what he had put down originally.

Upon handing in his essay, Severus made a request to the exam proctor, a diminutive Ministry employee named Carl Ackerman, to go to the empty, adjacent classroom for an extra credit demonstration on some of the things he had achieved in his life thanks to the fundamentals of Arithmancy. Langlock and Muffliato were the two spells he had chosen to demonstrate to the older man, who was astounded that such practical creations were made by a fifth-year in the Potions field.

"My word, Mr Snape! For one so young to have made a spell that shuts down less talented foes in a duel, and another with great stealth applications...I understand that you're quite adept in the field of Potions, but have you considered changing your career path to something with even more Arithmantic focus like a Spellmancer? I'd wager that if you applied yourself well enough, you could be the wizard who solves the mystery of flight without a broom!"

The suggestion took Severus off guard; obviously Mr. Ackerman had no idea that the mystery had been solved years down the road, but the notion of creating spells as a freelance inventor was something that resonated with him on a deeper level than even Potions. The art of brewing potions was Severus' hobby, one that he excelled greatly at, but magic was Severus' life. It was what bound him to the wizarding world, and to his Prince heritage. In the early days of his life, his mother, Eileen, had often told him stories of his ancestors in the Prince family line and their unparalleled sense of creativity, including Fidelius Prince, inventor of the charm of the same name.

All Severus could do before losing himself in his thoughts further was nod politely to the Ministry official. "Thank you for the suggestion, Mr. Ackerman. That's a possibility that slipped my mind, and I'll definitely give it some thought over the Summer."

* * *

Lily's footsteps softly echoed down the spiraling stairwell of the North Tower upon the completion of her Divination practical, and she had a confident, yet satisfied grin on her face now that it was over. Much as she had tried to defend the subject to Severus a short time ago, she had no plans of continuing into N.E.W.T. level for the class. Divination had little use in her chosen path of pursuing a Healer apprenticeship at St. Mungo's, and her duties as a Prefect would be more than enough extra to worry about on top of the added challenge of classes beyond O.W.L. level.

When she reached the bottom of the staircase and rounded into the Divination Hallway, however, Lily was stopped by a raspy whisper from the corner near the entrance.

"Oi, Evans, hold up a second!"

It was the unmistakable, flirtatious voice of James Potter, but when Lily scanned the area, seeing nothing, her smirk turned into an annoyed frown. "Potter, what are you doing running around with that cloak in broad daylight?! You're lucky I'm in a good mood after that O.W.L., or I'd confiscate it immediately."

Lily noticed a brief shimmer of air moving in an almost liquid-like motion before it revealed the pair of faces belonging to James and Sirius. Unlike their usual, playful smiles when near the Prefect girl, however, Lily knew something was amiss when Sirius opened his mouth. "Peter's been missing since right after the Astronomy exam. He didn't show up for lunch with us, and we all planned on taking a stroll down to Honeyduke's before dinner tonight."

The redhead's curls bounced as she rolled her head back in obvious frustration at the rule-breaking that the Marauders couldn't help but stay in, but James' voice cut off any tirade she would go on. "Listen, Lily, we planned on picking up a bunch of sweets for the fifth-years in Gryffindor to celebrate with once O.W.L.s finish tomorrow. We needed an extra pair of hands, and Remus is busy with Arithmancy at the moment."

The scorn in Lily's eyes softened somewhat at the notion that James and Sirius weren't on a mission to prank the younger students. She sighed before turning towards the Hallway. "I haven't seen him anywhere, James, but he'll certainly show up for the Astronomy practical tonight."

James shook his head in wide-eyed defiance to Lily's suggestion. "By the time we get back tomorrow, it'll be too late for the party, and Friday, nobody's going to stay in the common rooms for more than a passing moment. We wanted this to be something the whole house could enjoy…"

"Look, James, I understand that you wanted to celebrate, but unless you can find drag Remus out of Arithmancy, or if Pettigrew turns up shortly, you're going to have to make due with just you and Black."

With a brief snicker of realization, Sirius' eyes lit up. "Why don't YOU come with us, Evans?"

James' expression echoed his best friend's after a moment of consideration, looking towards Lily with that ever-playful smile. "By all means. There's enough room under this cloak for three of us. Besides, it's for all of us in Gryffindor. How many times have I invited you to have a little fun, Lils?"

Lily scoffed, turning her face to the window to avoid looking at the good-natured pair. "Don't give me a pet-name. We're barely on a first-name basis as it is, Potter. Why would I go breaking half a dozen rules, leave the grounds, and go to Hogsmeade when it's not even a weekend? I have friends that I could spend time w-"

Sirius quickly interrupted her. "Mary's still up in her Divination O.W.L. I overheard her telling Alice that she was going to the Library to write her family, then it's off to the Owlery. Our beloved Head Girl has hardly any free time left this week."

"But Severus-"

James snickered. "Snape's off in Arithmancy. Not to mention there's a little birdie going around talking about how he's trying to avoid everyone like the plague right now."

Lily did not verbally respond to the accusation about Severus, merely glaring at James. "I'm a Prefect, Potter. I have duties to attend to."

"I wasn't aware it was evening after dinner already. Come on, we'll be back before sundown, we all can eat dinner, and then you can go about your business after that." James left the cloak, revealing himself completely before walking up to Lily, looking into her green eyes with his hazel. "Everyone in the house is going to love it Lily, I promise. O.W.L.s are almost done, we've almost got the House Cup, it's going to be great. There's not going to be enough Butterbeer and sweets for everyone if it's only me and Padfoot going. We need a third person. Do it for Gryffindor?"

Lily sighed in defeat, turning her slightly-blushing face away from James'. "I'm taking up the rear. I want an eye and an ear on you at all times, James."

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Lils" the boy teased triumphantly, tossing the cloak over them all.

* * *

Several hours had passed, well after dinner and going deep into the evening. Severus had made his way from the Library, which had just closed its doors for the night, towards the Astronomy Tower for the final time. As the moonlight peaked through the windows of his ascent up the steps, his stomach once again had that ever-present feeling of dread. He remembered the last time he had walked up these steps at night; it was the night of the Death Eaters' infiltration into Hogwarts and the death of Dumbledore.

Jarring Severus from his thoughts was the soft bumping into another student ahead of him, the rather round body of one Peter Pettigrew. As the boy turned his eyes upon Severus, the Slytherin felt a surge of hatred build up seeing the treacherous rat. It had been one of the greatest regrets of his previous life to not properly punish Wormtail for his hand in the death of Lily.

However, something was off about the silent meeting of the two fifth-year students. There was no snivelling cowardice, no chattering of Pettigrew's teeth. All Severus could see was an eerily calm look mirroring the hostility that he himself was giving. The reborn Slytherin couldn't shake the feeling that something was very wrong with the way the round boy was looking at him. After a few moments, their hostile gazes ceased and they both made their way up the steps once again.

When each of the fifth-year students had finally gathered at the top of the Astronomy Tower, it was obvious that many of them were a bit exhausted. Severus' eyes locked with Lily's for a brief instant, where a hint of a smile was shared before the examiners, Professor Tofty and Mr. Ackerman, announced that they each would take students and hand them their empty star charts. Tofty would start at the top of the alphabet, while Ackerman started from the bottom, in an attempt to get the students to bed as quickly as possible for the following day's O.W.L.s.

After several students were called, Severus made his way up to Ackerman, who recognized Severus with a joyful grin, before handing him his star chart and letting Severus look into his telescope. After a few moments of looking in, Severus recognized that his telescope was pointed towards the Orion constellation, before filling in the appropriate stars that he had memorized during the refresher session with Lily.

Once the mapping of Orion was finished, he was asked to identify the first planet visible in the direction his telescope was pointed. It took nearly three minutes of searching, but Severus finally recognized the hint of a planetary object with its iconic rings and gave the correct answer of Saturn. With a nod of his head, Mr. Ackerman took Severus' chart and called up the next student, patting the Slytherin on the back with a non-verbal confirmation that the boy had done well.

It had been a surprisingly quick process to get through every student, and with a quick count to make sure that everyone had been tested, the two examiners took their leave and the students started to disperse. As their numbers began to dwindle, Severus' eyes turned to see the Marauders talking amongst themselves. Sirius in particular was pointing to the sky, then to Lupin; obviously some kind of joke had been made about the Werewolf and the night sky, though Severus neither cared, nor was able, to hear the conversation.

His moving eyes saw Lily, talking contentedly with Mary, though what Severus could not get over was precisely the spot where Lily was standing…

"_Avada Kedavra"_ he heard his older self cast, remembering the self-hatred in his voice when he purged the world of Albus Dumbledore and doomed Hogwarts to a dark year to follow.

Severus winced as he made a grasp for the sharp pain in his mind, doing everything in his power to shake the sight of Lily in that very same spot, trying to eliminate the image of her own body falling lifelessly from the tower...

**Author's Note: Well, it's certainly been awhile since the last update of Tempus Vita, and I can't tell all of you how sorry I am that it took so long. Summer was a bit of a busy ordeal at my job, combined with some other things taking up my free time, and after awhile, I got hit by a massive bit of writer's block that I could only chip away at one paragraph at a time. I don't see anything taking me off my old groove at the moment, so the hope is I can update this as regularly as before. That being said, life happens, and if it happens again, I apologize in advance, but I'm going to work as hard as I can to make this as good of a read for you guys as some of the other "Severus Time Jump" stories going on right now. I read a great many of them and use their engaging writing as inspiration. The two stories that stick out are "His Greatest Wish" by AndromedaMarine, and "Severus Snape and the Art of War" by CypressWand.**

**There's a lot of "tropes" that I suppose are common with stories that have Severus jumping back to the past, but I'm hoping that I'm unique enough to have my own flavor and be appealing despite those wonderful other reads. **

**The next chapter is going to jump immediately after this one, on the Astronomy Tower, and will feature a lot less exposition and more dialogue, action, and suspense. **

**As always, reviews are wonderful ways to show your support for the story. Any ideas or suggestions given could certainly jump-start my brain during times of writer's block. Thanks as always for the support that Tempus Vita has received. This chapter marks over 50,000 words, nearly 200 followers, 111 favorites, and 163 reviews. It's mind-boggling seeing my story get such a reception and it made me feel a bit guilty being gone so long. Here's hoping I can jump-start my momentum again after so long an absence.**


	16. Chapter 15: Fight or Flight

**Disclaimer: As always, I own none of the characters or concepts portrayed in the Harry Potter universe.**

Despite the students filing down the steps of the Astronomy Tower, there was still a considerable number that stayed behind to chat for a few moments before heading back to their common rooms. Though the two Gryffindor girls were deep in conversation about the remaining days before term was over, Mary's blue eyes wavered from Lily's upon seeing a certain Slytherin breaking into a sweat.

"Lily? What do you suppose is wrong with Severus?"

The redhead's face turned behind her to see the young Snape staring directly at her, as if he'd seen a ghost. It was clear that something about being here was deeply upsetting her best friend, but unless he wanted to come clean about everything that was going on, there was little she could do for him…

Nonetheless, the young witch turned back to Mary, motioning towards the steps. "I guess I'm about to find out. D'you mind if I meet you in the dorm room in a few?"

Mary shook her head, eyes flickering back and forth between Lily and Severus' distant form. "Not at all," she said with a smile. "Though I suppose if Severus needs a little romantic company, you could spend all night watching the stars." she added with a tease, turning to leave before Lily could retaliate.

Lily's ever-searching green eyes took a moment to look at Severus before taking a step forward, when she noticed him sigh in relief at the sight of her movement.

"_What on Earth could have Sev so spooked?"_ she pondered as her steps eventually led her to standing in front of him. Yet still, he never took his eyes away from hers.

After a short time, Lily finally broke the silence with an exhausted smile. "I always hear Potter tell me how pretty I am, but surely there's better things to look at on a gorgeous night like this, don't you think?"

Hearing Lily's cheerful voice, full of the life that his fearful hallucination had lacked, snapped Severus out of the traumatic relapse before he responded in kind. "On the contrary. The stars aren't going anywhere. It's fitting that the planet I saw on my O.W.L. was Saturn, Roman god of time and all. I may as well take in as much of your presence as I can muster since there's no telling what the future holds."

"Words to live by." Lily nodded, her eyes drifting up to the stars. "But just because the sky isn't going anywhere doesn't mean that you aren't either. We all have to enjoy the time we have and not let the unknown of the future rule us…"

Her gleaming emeralds softened as they came back down to meet Severus' black pools once again. "Nor the pain of the past...Listen, Sev-"

Severus shook his head, unwilling to reopen wounds from a lifetime ago. He cut Lily off, with an unwavering, yet gentle tone. He wanted to be more careful than he had been the day before, channeling Tobias' wrath would cause nothing but problems here.

"No, you listen, Lily. What you saw yesterday? You were never meant to see ANY of that. Never. You've always asked, and asked, every Summer, where those bruises and scars came from. And even though I think you've always known, how was I supposed to tell you? That my father single-handedly destroyed both my life and my mother's with his ridiculous hatred for anything magical?"

Lily winced slightly at her best friend's grim recounting of the memory from their previous meeting. But rather than play along and try to reach for an answer to the question, Lily's moved closer to Severus. The motion didn't stop at whisper-distance, as the girl's face drew so close to his that for a moment he thought he might have stumbled into a romantic fantasy where she might kiss him.

Eventually, Lily did stop and her face rested inches away from his as her eyes seemed to be searching for something. Just before a hint of a blush became visible on Severus' face, she finally opened her mouth. "I see flashes of that little boy from time to time." A brief, melodic giggle escaped her lips before she continued. "He was quite adorable...even more so than you were when we met. None of the fear, none of the negativity, just a little boy with big dreams...What happened to that boy, Sev?"

Unable to face any more reminders of his distant past, Severus averted his gaze. "He's dead. Thank my father for that. And also for this 'beak' of mine, as you always like to call it."

Lily shook her head, her loose, curly hair swaying gently in the night breeze as she did so. "No, like I said, I see flashes. You're just always so guarded. Besides…" she added, touching his nose with the tip of her finger, causing that blush he held back to burst forth. "It's not so bad. I'd even say it makes you look wise beyond your years, not to mention quite intimidating, which I suppose is your attempt to keep the little Sev locked away. I am a bit curious though, why you never bothered to fix it? You have magic here, you could easily have set your nose back into place…"

"It would just give Tobias a target during his violent rampages. He broke it once, I'm not keen on the idea of him continuing to break it, wondering why it keeps fixing iself."

Lily's calm voice finally turned urgent and serious, her concern for her friend's well-being finally erupting like a geyser. "Why don't you get out of there, Sev? Why can't you and your Mum just be kept away from that monster for everything he's done?!"

Before Severus could answer that question, the interruption of James Potter came like clockwork as soon as the redhead's voice grew louder. "Lily, what's the matter? Is Snape bothering you?"

Once more, Severus' face turned sour and angry at the intrusion of his adversary. He stepped forward to pan his gaze across all four Marauders, James' usual smirk, Sirius looking back at him with disgust, Remus with an apologetic frown, and Peter, with an uncharacteristically sly smile.

"You're like an annoying itch that just doesn't go away, aren't you, Potter?" Severus' whisper was saturated in frustration. "How many years is it going to take of your paranoia, your need to be right about me, your idiotic boyfriend's stupid need to rebel from his family, your babysitter's incessant need to let you run rampant without keeping you in line, and your tag-along's snivelling? Just a ragtag group of Gryffindor idiots, the lot of you!"

Lily flinched slightly at Severus' growing hostility. She couldn't blame all of his pent-up rage, though she was not in the mood to let a scene occur at the Astronomy Tower. After her interaction earlier with James, how he was willing to stick his neck out for Gryffindor to have a good ending to the year, she attempted to play peacemaker for both sides. "James, honestly, for the last time, he's my best friend...Please just leave us be. Come on, Sev. Let's walk for a bit."

"No…" Severus whispered, barely audible, but his hatred absolutely boiling over. "Why should we leave when this piece of sodding trash continues to stick his nose where it doesn't belong?! We were having a conversation before he came, and as usual, wants to play the grandstanding hero. He's been this way for years. If anyone should leave, it's him!

"Potter, I've had enough of you. Your smug face, your ego that's bigger than all of Hogwarts, and of course your substandard abilities. You think you're better than you really are…"

"Sev, please…" Lily whispered into his ear, placing her hand on his shoulder, trying to reach him through his haze of anger. It reminded her of what he had shown Rosier during the attack at the lake.

Severus' hand was quivering over his side robe pocket, where he kept his wand. "But the thing that sickens me most of all is your need to constantly interrupt and ruin my time with my best friend, one of the only good things in my life. You ruined Hogwarts for me when I was young, you humiliated me when I was too stupid to know better. I'm different now, Potter. But the more things change, the more they stay the same, and no matter what I seem to do, you can't help but make yourself the center of attention…" The Slytherin's eyes were ablaze, contrasting with his deathly quiet whisper. "I challenge you to a duel. Your stupid attack dog, Black, can even help. And when I annihilate you, preferably where all the school can see, kindly stay the hell out of my life."

Remus stepped forward from behind Sirius and James, turning to his friends. "Enough, James. Let's get back to-"

"No, Moony." James interrupted. During Severus' tirade, the young Gryffindor's smirk washed off, replaced by an almost undecipherable look. He turned back to his foe, sensing an end to the rant. "Are you finished?"

Severus sneered. "Hardly. I doubt I'll ever to describe in words how I long for the day to be out of here so I never have to see your bloody face again."

"_But then, of course, I'll have to see your face with Lily's eyes again at some point too, won't I?"_ He pondered before James spoke up.

"Get over yourself, Snape. All that for me asking Lily, who was getting frantic, if you were bothering her. Challenging me to a duel when I'm not carrying my wand? Who brings a wand to an Astronomy O.W.L. in the middle of the night anyway, Snape?"

Before Severus could make a remark about how characteristic it would be for James to have his wand ready for some late-night pranking, another voice joined from behind the three taller Marauders.

"I guess there's no point in waiting for you both to just kill each other then, is there?"

James, Sirius, and Remus all turned toward Peter, who from behind them had his wand pointed directly at Severus.

"Peter, what in Merlin's name are you doing?!" James shouted as his eyes moved back and forth between the round boy's wand and his strangely evil smirk.

"You were warned, Snape. I suppose I need to do something to show you that we mean business and there is no coming back from crossing the cause." Pettigrew chuckled wickedly.

Seeing the Gryffindor's hostile intentions led Severus to drawing his own wand, the black wood pointed expertly at Peter's chest. "Showing your true colors a little early, aren't you? You're mental if you think I'm going to let you cause any damage this time, you treacherous rat!"

Wormtail's laughter revealed his rodent-like teeth as his wand's tip rose higher. "You already did, Snape!"

Before Severus could react, there was a piercing scream from behind him. He knew before he even turned around that the unsettling noise had come from Lily. His eyes widened in horror when he saw that his best friend was no longer standing behind him, but was now floating over the edge of the Astronomy Tower, hanging by her left ankle. The only thing between her and the deadly fall to the grounds below was a Levicorpus that had been holding her aloft, cast by Pettigrew.

Having successfully distracted his target, Wormtail cast a swift disarming charm, which sent Severus' wand to the ground, where the rat-like boy promptly kept it securely underfoot.

The remaining three Marauders were beside themselves, turning back to their companion in disbelief and furious shouting. The uncharacteristic effectiveness of Wormtail's tactics was matched only by his cruelty that they had never seen before.

"What the bloody hell are you doing, Wormtail?!"

"Let Lily go!"

"Peter, have you gone mental?!"

Before any of them could make a dash towards him, however, Pettigrew's voice spat. "Not one step or the Mudblood drops!"

All four of Lily's would-be defenders became deathly still, the Marauders looking back and forth between Peter and Lily, trying to find a way out of this situation, while Severus' eyes were locked with dread at seeing Lily's terrible situation. The young witch's breaths had become frantic, her terrified eyes darting every which direction trying to find something to focus on, to give her hope that she might survive the situation.

"Five of you, and only one was smart enough to bring a wand?! Nothing of value is really going to be lost once the girl dies. Just know that you're going to be next, Snape!" Pettigrew's mocking laugh was almost drowned out by the peril of Lily's position.

"Lily…" Severus called, his voice devoid of anything but a desire to comfort his best friend, to hopefully have her focus. He steeled himself, preparing for what was to come next.

The redhead's eyes were clamped shut, unwilling to look down, trying to wake up from whatever nightmare she thought she was trapped in. "Sev?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Always…" she shivered, her response coming out in little more than a choked cry.

"Hardly a point in anyone trusting you once your Mudblood girlfriend dies thanks to your own spell, you traitorous swine!" Pettigrew laughed, his wand jerking upwards as he made a mad dash towards the staircase behind him.

What happened next was ripped almost directly out of Severus' nightmares. Lily's small frame, which had hung weightlessly in the air, was suddenly sent flailing downwards as Liberacorpus was cast. Seeing those green eyes snap open with the realization that she was about to die sent Severus into a tailspin. It was happening again, this time before his eyes. He jolted his head back to the shocked Marauders. "Don't let him get away, you idiots!" he screamed before flinging himself over the edge of the stone railing.

* * *

For Lily, her eyes flooded with tears, time passing slowly as she felt the rush of air pushing into her face. The ground below, even starting from so high, was approaching quickly. Her heartbeat, which had become rapid just from hanging before the fall actually began, was almost unbearably painful at the point that she was staring at her own looming demise.

* * *

For Severus, there wasn't even the illusion of a choice. Realizing that he didn't have his wand left him with only one option, and it was an option whose consequences hadn't even crossed the mind of the reborn Slytherin as he straightened his body and was gaining on Lily's falling form. Nothing mattered but reaching her, and the idea of failure was impossible to even fathom. Like an eagle, the young man shot downward and scooped up his beloved, wrapping his arms tightly around her flinching, quivering form.

* * *

Lily's petrified gaze, which had been locked on the approaching ground, finally broke free once she felt the protective embrace around her, looking up with shock to see her dearest friend.

"_Sev?! But he lost his wand! Why would he…?!" _Her thoughts were disjointed, adding only further to the terror in her emerald eyes. All she could think about was how her best friend had seemingly thrown himself after her with no hope of survival. They were falling together, and at that realization, Lily buried her face in Severus' chest, unwilling to accept that they would die together…

* * *

The pressure from Lily's head huddled against his chest was all that Severus needed to focus on. His eyes rested on her terror-stricken face, nuzzled so closely to his heart, and he felt his magical core begin to bubble and react like a cauldron brewing a potion. The otherworldly magic that had been taught to him by Lord Voldemort began to take shape. The air surrounding them was bending and ebbing as his magical core, his very soul, was willing the rushing winds of their descent to change direction. With one mighty burst of will, at last subjugating the air completely, the momentum of the two young friends shifted forwards instead of downwards.

Lily's eyes opened after a few moments in absolute astonishment...Her best friend's robes were billowing like a vortex surrounding them; no longer could she feel the tug of gravity as Death was so close to claiming them both…

Instead, she and Severus were flying through the skies around Hogwarts, the moonlight reflecting off of the glassy waters of the Great Lake on the horizon...

**Author's Note: Whew. That was certainly something to write. I knew at some point soon I wanted to introduce Severus' ability to fly, and to put it to good use in a situation that warranted using it. I wanted there to be some irony in a spell invented by Voldemort, Lily's original murderer, being used to save her life this time around. At some point in the story I'm going to explain how my interpretation of Unsupported Flight works. If it were as simple as regular magic, I think the answer would've been discovered ages before Voldemort was even born. The fact that he is the wizard who accomplished it tells me that on top of requiring a great deal of magical power, there's also likely something a bit more sinister in how it works, something which I hope I can put into a more coherent explanation later on in the story, though I tried to hint at it during my visual description of what was going on. If you look closely at how I wrote it here, you'll see why I classify it as Dark Magic, though it was certainly used for good in this situation.**

**A lot happened in a very short span of time during this chapter, more unanswered questions which I'll hopefully shed some light on shortly. Why did Peter so boldly attack Lily? What will Lily think of Severus' newly revealed ability of flight? How will he explain it to her? Have the Marauders stopped Pettigrew's escape? WILL SATURDAY EVER GET HERE SO I CAN REVEAL THE MEANING OF THAT RUNE?!**

**All will be answered and more later. I'm hoping to get the next chapter up for you guys sometime during the weekend, but time will tell as always. Once again, I can't thank you all enough for the feedback Tempus Vita is receiving, and would love to hear what you all have to say upon reading this chapter. Reviews are BY FAR the most effective way to let your voices be heard and leave your feedback. I read every single review the story receives, and so many of them have been helpful in making my plans of where to go next, what twists to put in, things of that nature. Thanks once again for taking the time to read, and I hope to continue it for you all soon!**


	17. Chapter 16: Elements Defiled

**Disclaimer: As always, I take no ownership of the characters or concepts from the Harry Potter franchise, books or movies.**

Flying through the skies around Hogwarts offered an entirely new perspective for Lily Evans as she remained firmly in the arms of her best friend. Alongside the whirling air that kept them aloft, the forward momentum high in the sky sent a wonderful, spring night's breeze through her hair. Looking up into Severus' eyes, she saw he was deep in concentration, his gaze focused on the skies ahead of them as they circled far above the castle.

It was almost too intimidating for the Gryffindor girl to speak up, but where was she to start? There were a million questions she wanted to ask, but all she could focus on was the obvious.

"Sev...are you going to tell me how exactly we're flying? Or is that going to have to wait too?" she asked with a frown.

"Yes, it's going to have to wait, Lily…" Severus immediately grunted in response, his eyes never leaving their flight path. "I can't very well keep us airborne unless I focus completely on it, so please wait a few moments…"

Lily's premature expression of disappointment dissolved into one of surprised relief. Not wanting to distract Severus any further, she instead placed her attention back on their current situation. They were flying at a speed that was even faster than any broom Lily had been on during her time at Hogwarts. It was astonishing how much more control her best friend seemed to have over it too, the precision of his turns, the maintaining of altitude, none of this was like the failed experiments of those who had tried for centuries to master the power of flight without a broomstick or other enchanted flying object.

The question then was an obvious one, how could Severus, brilliant as he was, discover what countless wizards failed over an entire lifetime at the mere age of 16? She always knew how intuitive he was with creating his own spells and potions recipes, but this went far beyond something like Langlock or even Sectumsempra. He had never once hinted to her in the past that he had been working on such an ability, and though it stung Lily that he had been so secretive with her as of late, she couldn't help but beam with pride that her beloved friend was capable of solving the mystery of flight.

The pair began their descent, turning swiftly over the Whomping Willow, and Lily couldn't remove her contented smile. Any doubts that she might ever have about Severus' loyalty to her could finally rest once and for all, and knowing that, she instinctively rested her head on his chest once again. Their velocity slowed gradually, and for a moment, Lily wondered why they seemed to be aiming far outside of Hogwarts' walls when they finally touched down on the hills near Hagrid's Hut.

When Severus finally let go and her feet touched the ground, Lily immediately wrapped her arms back around him and a few of those unshed tears that remained finally came out.

"Thank you, Sev...thank you so much…" her voice choked with a tearful rasp.

Severus quickly returned the embrace with an equal fervor, but his voice seemed to resonate of something far different than Lily's happy relief. "What were any of you thinking?! Without a wand, very few wizards are any more useful than a Muggle! If any of those idiot Marauders brought their wands, they could've disarmed him! If you brought your own, you could've stopped your momentum! Never, EVER go ANYWHERE without your wand, Lily. I don't care if it's a stroll to the loo or an exam for a class that doesn't focus on doing magic, you never know what will go wrong, especially around me."

His harsh words stung Lily, but she knew he was right. The situation was made far worse than it could have been if any of them besides Severus had been prepared for confrontation. Of course, how any of them could predict that Pettigrew would go rogue and apparently throw his lot in with the militant Slytherins, she didn't know. But before Lily could feel any further shame about what had happened, Severus tightened his embrace around her.

His voice was considerably softer when he spoke again. "I'd never let anything bad happen to you, Lily. I hope you know that. But I had no idea when I made that jump if it would even work. With the way my magic has been as of late, everything seems backwards about the way it comes out."

Lily's eyes widened as she drew apart from Severus just enough to look into his eyes. "You mean you didn't know if you'd even succeed? You just jumped after me with no thought as to whether or not you'd actually make it out alive?!"

"I'd never be able to live with the shame of letting you die if I didn't at least try…" he admitted to her.

"_I made that mistake once before...never again."_ he added to himself mentally.

The tearful smile returned to Lily's face as she hugged him again with a touched laugh. "How incredibly Gryffindor of you."

* * *

Once the pair finally started walking back towards the moonlit castle, Lily took hold of Severus' hand and interlocked their fingers. A blush was shared between them at her gesture, but the Slytherin made no movement to free his hand. Truthfully, Lily needed to have some form of physical contact so soon after her fall. The terror she felt at the notion of dying alone left her with a reflex of needing to stay close to Severus, though she disguised it with a mischievous grin.

"So. How long have you known how to fly, Sev?"

Severus turned to look down at Lily as they walked in sync up the hill. "Almost a year." He answered honestly. It had been a reward by Voldemort for his killing of Dumbledore. The Dark Lord had from that point considered Severus his most trusted servant and had shown him the technique to accomplish the mastery of flight.

"And why didn't you tell me that you solved the greatest mystery of the wizarding world, Mr. Slytherin Prodigy?" she asked with a hint of sarcasm.

"Because it's dark magic, Lily, and I know how you feel about that. Truth be told, I never wanted to use it again unless absolutely necessary." It was true. Now that he was back with Lily alive and well, the last thing he wanted to think about was his time in the service of the one who had murdered her.

"Dark magic..?" Lily's eyes widened. "How can something like that be dark, Sev? If anything, I would think the ability to fly would be a charm on our bodies…"

"Dark magic does not mean evil magic, Lily." Severus said with a frustrated sigh. "Unless it's an unforgivable, there is always both a good and a bad use for magic, and I'd think the brightest witch of our year should know that by now."

"How does it work, then? If the ability to fly is dark magic, then what's the answer to why so many others failed?"

"Humans cannot be enchanted with the ability to fly. Such things are only possible for inanimate objects like brooms, cars, I've even heard of motorcycles being enchanted to fly. We, however, cannot."

Seeing Lily's confused expression, Severus decided to elaborate a different way. "Lily, I take it you're familiar with Fiendfyre?"

The redhead's eyes widened a bit at the insinuation. "Yes...it's a very dark spell, but that's not even discussed at the fifth-year level...Seventh year at the absolute earliest."

Severus nodded. "Yes, but do you know WHY it's classified as Dark Magic? It's because it conjures fire, but it goes far beyond a simple Incendio. Fire is one of the four elements. Anything that tampers with an element's innate behavior is against the natural order of life, and thus, Dark Magic. Elements are not discriminate. Fire can burn and kill, but it also cooks our food, and warms our homes. Fiendfyre not only conjures flames, but bewitches them with an almost supernatural affinity to seek out life and engulf it. That's why Fiendfyre is more destructive than any flame; it's been tainted by the caster's malevolent will.

"The same holds true for all four elements. Water can drown and erode, but it also sustains our bodies and quenches our thirst. Air, when violent, can rip apart our homes, but it's also what we breathe. Earth can crumble and crush our bodies in its more dense forms, but it also has nutrients to grow plants and herbs. The natural world renders the elements indiscriminate of good and bad, they just are.

"Air, for example, is an element of utmost freedom. The sky is an endless plane above us, the winds change in direction and intensity, it moves the weather. What happens then when you take away the freedom of air? What happens when you use your own magical core to reach out and subjugate the air around you, force it to your will, and turn one of nature's elements into an extension of yourself? A metaphorical Imperius on the air itself, if you will."

"You can fly…" Lily responded, understanding. "Sev, are you really comparing the ability to command the air around you to something as destructive as Fiendfyre?"

"They both desecrate the elements of nature, Lily, just in a different form. I'd wager that truly inventive, dark wizards would be capable of other things just as unnatural with Earth and Water, but all I've ever heard of are Fiendfyre and now this..."

"But Sev, that would require a really powerful, really focused magical core. How can something like that be possible for someone still in school like you?" Lily asked, raising a questioning eyebrow. "Not that I doubt how brilliant you are, but that seems like a feat that most practiced wizards would find quite challenging."

"Soon, Lily. I promised you, soon. Just a little longer…" The Slytherin pleaded dismissively.

With a sigh, Lily nodded. After a few more minutes, the pair finally reached the castle's gate, and that reminded her of something else she wanted to ask her friend. "Why was it so important that we not land anywhere actually in the castle, Sev?"

"Because this is not something that needs to be spread around the school." Severus declared, not leaving much in the way of argument.

"But Sev, you can't seriously be keeping this to yourself?! Think of all the good it could do wizardkind if one of the great mysteries of the magical world were finally solved!" she whispered as they passed through into the castle proper.

"How about you think of all the bad? Do you know how many of my lovely, fellow Slytherins would spill it to their parents over the Summer, many of whom have close contact with a certain dark wizard? Are you so sure that you want HIM to find out about this when he probably hasn't even solved it himself yet?"

'Yet..?" Lily asked suspiciously. "Anyway, what exactly am I supposed to say when people ask how you saved my life?

Severus cursed himself silently, wishing he were more careful at choosing his words with Lily. "Just tell them that I cast a wandless Arresto Momentum shortly before we hit the ground."

"Your solution not to attract attention is to tell the school that you cast a charm wandlessly in the heat of a life-or-death situation?" she asked with a skeptical look.

"Why not? You did something similar on the swingset back in Cokeworth the day we met…" Severus admitted with a smile.

"That was accidental, underage magic, and...oh, fine." the Gryffindor girl sighed in defeat. "I still think that it's going to be something that has to come out at some point, at least with a trustworthy wizard like Dumbledore."

"I'll be the one to decide that, Lily." he declared as he rounded up the steps towards the seventh floor. Severus would take no chances, he'd see Lily to her common room before anything else would occur tonight.

* * *

Once they reached the Fat Lady's corridor, Severus and Lily were startled when the portrait to the Gryffindor common room opened up, and out sprinted James, Sirius, and Remus all in a row. Each of the Marauders sighed with relief upon seeing Lily unharmed. Severus, however, immediately grew furious.

"I had better find out that you idiots were leaving your Common Room to tell the Headmaster of the situation, and that Pettigrew is bound and restrained, in there...You're telling me you dunderheads actually lost track of him?! Honestly, it's not enough that none of you were armed for any mishaps, you were actually outrun by that overweight lump?!"

Sirius shook his head. "We all tried our best to follow, but Wormtail's never run that fast before...we came back here to get our map to find him."

James nodded. "And this…" he pointed at the map where the two new arrivals could see, revealing a broom cupboard on the ground floor of Hogwarts. "-is where our little traitor is hiding. I reckon that's where he's going to lay low for awhile, then make his escape from later. But why he'd do that when he knows we have the map, I have no idea."

Remus reached into his robe pocket, and after a brief moment, his hand emerged with Severus' ebony wand, handing it back to the Slytherin. "I grabbed this for you on the way down. Will you be coming with us, Severus?"

Immediately, Sirius and James both turned to their friend in disgusted protest, but Severus ignored them, instead facing Lily seriously. As he let go of her hand, he noticed Lily's face flinch slightly from the absence of his touch. "I'll babysit the Marauders and follow them to Pettigrew. Something doesn't seem right about this situation, Lily; I want you to go back to your dorm. You don't have your wand, and you've been through enough disasters for one night."

Lily nodded. Normally she might argue with him, but after having been through one near-death experience, she wasn't particularly keen on facing the one who had tried to kill her once already for the night.

"Alright, Sev. You be careful...and before I forget…" Lily stood on her toes, kissing Severus gently on the cheek. "Thank you for saving my life, Sev...I'm sorry if there was ever a time that I thought you might not." she added with a smile before turning to the open portrait and shutting it behind her.

For a moment, the Slytherin was dumbfounded by the gesture, feeling the heat of a blush rise to where Lily's lips had been just before. But upon turning and seeing James seething, absolutely beside himself, along with a bit of a hidden smile from Remus, he smirked at the Marauders, before swiftly marching towards the staircase, where they all immediately followed suit.

Something was bothering Severus as he made his way down the steps, contemplating what had happened. From what little he had known of the rat animagus, Pettigrew had never been so bold in any of his ambitions, preferring instead to cower and let others fight for him. As they rushed down the steps, another thought had occurred. Why, of all things, had the overweight boy outrun the other three Marauders, each of whom was considerably more fit. It would be one thing if he had transformed into a rat and snuck somewhere that normal people couldn't fit. The conundrum disturbed Severus, yet it hadn't yet shown in his controlled face when they finally reached the ground floor.

As they finally turned to the cupboard door, the four took another look at the map, confirming that Peter had not moved from his location. James took the lead ahead of Severus and without checking for locks, immediately blasted the door apart with a Reductor Curse.

"_James Potter, Ever the impetuous little fool. Though I doubt I'll be any better once I get my hands around that rat's neck…"_ Severus thought to himself.

As the smoke remaining where the wooden door had been started to dissipate, however, all four fifth-year boys gained a look of shock as they saw the sight of the one they had been pursuing. Peter Pettigrew lay unconscious on the cupboard floor in nothing but his underwear, bound by ropes that had been obviously conjured by an incarcerous spell. His school robes were nowhere to be found.

Immediately upon seeing the boy in this state, Severus knew what had happened as the Gryffindors started to rouse Peter and remove his bindings. "He didn't do it...No...There's only one direction the culprit went!" he grimaced, voice bubbling with rage as he took off towards the Dungeons in a heated sprint.

* * *

As he entered the Slytherin Common Room, Severus' eyes jolted in every direction, not finding anyone out of bed, just the eerie, green light that spread dimly across the room. Not satisfied, Severus thrust open the door to the Slytherin Boys' Bathroom, and immediately noticed a very powerful aroma that hung in the air. Taking a a deep breath with his eyes shut confirmed the presence of a very particular brew that someone had obviously tried to dispose the remnants of.

"Polyjuice Potion…" Severus snarled in frustration, empty-handed with everything but the knowledge that someone in his house had tried to murder Lily as a way to make a statement to him.

**Author's Note: Confession time, I hadn't actually intended to release a chapter today; when I mentioned Saturday I was referring to the day in-story where Severus is taking his Ancient Runes Makeup O.W.L. But seeing so many people get excited after the last chapter, I felt it would be wrong to deny you guys a follow-up even if I hadn't intended it as such.**

**So here we are, the end of Wednesday and going onto Thursday, an attempt was made on Lily's life and we no longer have a concrete idea on who did it. The friends had another heart-to-heart on their way to the castle, Severus explained a bit more on how the power of Unsupported Flight works, and now we're on to Thursday's O.W.L. with everyone's favorite subject, HISTORY OF MAGIC!**

**Honestly, that's a subject of notorious boredom and I'll likely just touch over it before making it to the party in Gryffindor House that the Marauders had planned. Things are likely to carry over into Friday and the beginning of Saturday leading up to the exam, so we can finally put the rune mystery to rest.**

**Regarding Lily: I don't want to make it seem as though she's a two-timer. At this point in the story, Lily is attracted to James, though it's more on a subconscious level than anything else as his behavior annoys her besides the more mature flashes that he has been given in some of the chapters. As for her feelings for Severus, if there's an attraction to some of the things he does, it's on an EVEN MORE subconscious level than for James. You have to remember that he's only turned over a new leaf for just over a week now, and though she finally trusts him completely again, it's going to take quite a bit of doing before Severus Snape can truly win Lily over romantically. Not to mention he's her best friend, not her boyfriend, and I don't care what anyone says, there is a very staunch difference between how women see the two.**

**Another thing I'd like to mention is that there is a very strong contingent on both sides of the fence regarding who they think Lily should end up with. I've made it very clear that I don't like the character of James Potter, but I'm not going to morally assassinate his character like I've seen other fanfiction authors do. Jilly is canon, after all, and I'd like to at least keep an element of that hanging over the readers' heads, as a form of tension for those that don't support it, and as fanservice for those that do. Nor am I going to spoil who Lily romantically ends up with (or if she even survives the story at all). There's a great engagement in the character direction not being obvious to the reader, and I want to keep as much of that engagement as possible for you all to speculate.**

**As always, I'm very happy to read the reviews and see the response that each chapter gets (last chapter in particular seemed to really get folks excited for what's to come), and as a writer, that's what I strive to do. As intoxicating as it is for you guys to see an update of mine and eat it up, I also eat up the reviews and words that you send me in return, so please continue to do so.**

**Thanks so much for the support and feedback, and I hope to have another chapter set for you all to enjoy soon!**


	18. Chapter 17: Slughorn's Gift

**Author's Disclaimer: As always, I claim no ownership over the Harry Potter universe, characters, or concepts.**

"_You have no right to live, Severus Snape...you let me die once, you'll do it again in this lifetime too!"_

_Severus' face was contorted in agony at the haunting voice of Lily as he watched her hit the ground. He had tried to reach his beloved friend in time through the power of flight, but could not swoop in quickly enough….through the tears in his eyes, he watched first-hand as the life faded from her emerald-green eyes...yet still, the wraith-like voice continued._

"_You'll never learn, will you?! Always looking for someone else to pass the blame on, looking for the Slytherin responsible for this...All you need do is look in the mirror and you'll see, Snape, you'll see my killer!"_

"_Lily, please…" he could scarcely respond with a defeated whimper, reaching his hand to her cheek, begging for any sign of life. "All I've ever done has been for your memory...please don't leave me again!"_

"_Once upon a time you told Dumbledore you wished you were dead. So do it, Snape! Die like you deserve; you'll earn no forgiveness from me for all you've done to me, my husband, and my son! LIFE IS TOO GOOD FOR YOU, SNAPE!"_

"-Snape! Wake the bloody hell up, you idiot!"

* * *

Severus stirred, his eyes opening slowly as if they had been cemented shut, the dread of his nightmare at last shifting to the back of his mind. For a moment, he wondered where he had been, but noticing the dim, green flames and the feel of the plush, jade-colored cushions beneath him revealed the fact that he had apparently fallen asleep in the Slytherin Common Room. Turning his attention back to the source of the voice, Severus' endless black eyes met the annoyed brown orbs of Jacob Avery.

"Done moaning in your sleep, at last? Honestly, you're more noisy than Mulciber was when he snored. Thank your lucky stars that I was the one who found you and not somebody else; half of Slytherin might cut your throat for the way you've been acting lately. Why on Earth did you go to sleep out here instead of our dorm?"

Severus' eyes narrowed at the sight of Avery, shifting his gaze momentarily to see that the entrances to the dormitories were closed and the other students were apparently still asleep. "Something quite unsettling happened at the Astronomy Tower, and I decided it would be best to stay out of bed and keep an eye in here to see if anyone in Slytherin had anything to do with it.

"And why, pray tell, are you out of bed, Avery? Care to tell me what you were doing just before midnight last night?"

Avery snorted derisively at Severus' suspicious inquiry. "I was with you at the Astronomy O.W.L., you moron! Not that you would have noticed because last I saw, you were staring at your Mu-"

"Remember what I warned you about, Avery. Choose your next word carefully…" Severus interrupted with a hiss."

"Your Mugggleborn friend is all I was going to say. I cleared out just like everyone else did. After that, I came back down here for bed, and thank Merlin for that because I needed to wake up early to study a bit for today's History exam."

"Why should I believe that you didn't have a hand in what happened? You're still plenty devoted to the cause." Severus sat up and looked up and down his former ally's cautious form.

"Yeah, I am. But you'll have to forgive me for not wanting to get on your bad side when Rosier and Mulciber are gone now, and Wilkes is only here for another couple of days before he graduates. You think I'm stupid enough to cross you after what happened on Sunday?"

"We both know you're plenty stupid, Avery, but for your sake, let's both hope that you remain on your best behavior. Let's say for the sake of argument that you had nothing to do with what happened, did you see anyone come into the common room late?"

Avery shook his head, clutching his pile of books to his chest. "I was getting ready for bed the moment I got down here. Are you going to keep being vague about what exactly happened?"

"Not that it's any of your business, Avery, but last night, someone tried to kill Lily before my eyes. I don't know who it was, since Polyjuice Potion was involved, but obviously someone in the House wants to send a message to me, and I intend to find out who."

Avery scoffed, making his way towards the Slytherin Common Room Entrance. "Imagine that! I'm not sure what happened to your priorities, Snape, but you didn't make the smartest decision yourself by turning against us. One day you're singing the praises of Slytherin House, and the next, you're fighting against it. If you never believed in the cause, you would've been better off keeping your head down since first year like the other pretenders here, but instead you had to make a flashy statement like you're some bloody Gryffindor!"

"I imagine by now that Rosier's cousin, Bellatrix has heard what happened and I'm quite sure she's plotting all sorts of retaliation for what you did to him. One doesn't cross the Blacks and live to tell about it. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got studying to do."

Watching his classmate exit, Severus sat alone in quiet contemplation. Avery had a point. He had thrown himself quite firmly off of the proverbial fence with his actions as of late. Still, since his revival, he never had any intention of fighting in this war again. He took no sides, no longer believing in what either cause fought for. The only side he truly stood on anymore was Lily's. Keeping her safe was the only priority he had, much like it had been with her son in his other life. But it was clear that his decision to do so was making waves within the ranks of the Death Eaters, and for the very first time, Severus considered the very real possibility that his wand might clash with Bellatrix, or even worse, Lord Voldemort himself…The notion was one Severus was quite sure that he was nowhere close to being ready for.

* * *

Unlike all other classes during O.W.L. exams, History of Magic was not divided into two portions, and thus, was a much longer written test that Hogwarts students unanimously dreaded. The running joke amongst students was that the only one who attended N.E.W.T. level History classes was the ghostly Professor Binns himself. Every year, History of Magic was what marked the finish line of O.W.L.s, as well as the beginning of a weekend of celebration for the fifth-years, and this was no exception.

The rowdy cheers and excited voices of the students became quite the spectacle when the exam was finally over with. Dozens of smiling faces poured out of the classroom after three hours spent in silence, and within moments, Severus had waded through the sea of students to find a certain redhead.

Instead of finding Lily alone, however, she was standing beside Mary, and near them in turn were all four Marauders. Leading the group of them, uncharacteristically, was Peter Pettigrew, who had his head down, his face etched in a very remorseful expression. Curious as to what they were discussing, the Slytherin drew closer.

"-that I would never do that to anyone, least of all a Gryffindor. Whoever did this to me knew what they were doing, though, because I didn't see them before they knocked me out, and they didn't leave any sign in the closet where I was stuffed. Lily, I can't apologize enough, p-please-'

Lily raised her hand at the stammering boy's face to silence his apology. "It's alright, Peter. If I hadn't been so terrified at the situation, it would've been easier to see that whoever masqueraded as you wasn't making much effort to act the part. Everything turned out alright..." After a brief moment of thought, her eyes lifted from Peter and scanned across James and Sirius as well, both of whom were patting their friend on each shoulder.

"Come on, Wormtail. You'll have quite the pick-me-up during the party tonight; we all will." James said reassuringly. His smile extended to Lily when he saw her continuing to look at him. "What about you, Evans? Can I get you and Moony to skive off your Prefect duties tonight in order to have a bit of fun to celebrate? O.W.L.s are over and we're about to win the House Cup. I think all of Gryffindor should be there."

"You too, Mary." chuckled Sirius with a smile. "I got quite a few extra Liquorice Wands and Pumpkin Pasties while we were down at Honeydukes, since I remembered they were your favorites."

Both girls looked at each other for a moment, before Mary was the first to speak. "I'll go, but don't get the wrong idea, Sirius. I don't care what you got especially for me; I'm not getting back together with you after what you did with that Ravenclaw."

Lily, on the other hand, shook her head. "I actually have an important meeting with Professor Slughorn to talk about what happened last night. If we finish early enough, I'll try to make it before everything is gone, but don't you dare hold the party up on my account, James.."

With a swing of her vibrant, copper hair, Lily turned around only to bump abruptly into Severus. "Well there's the hero that I was about to go look for." she announced with a relieved smile. "I was given a note from Slughorn that asked us both to his office after the History O.W.L. to give our account of what happened last night."

"Funny, I got no such note…" Severus sighed with a hint of annoyance. The pair slowly made their way through the mob of fifth-year students, and it almost made the Slytherin boy jump when he felt a soft hand enter his. Obviously Lily didn't want to lose him as they cleared through the hallway.

"Well it helps to be a Prefect and get these sorts of things in advance. I imagine the Professor was going to rely on me to break the news to you, but I didn't see you at all during breakfast. Honestly, doesn't he keep his eye on his own House students?"

"Obviously not, and that's why last night happened the way it did. Either order is going to be set, or I'm going to start taking matters into my own hands…"

Once they made it to the Grand Staircase, they made the climb towards the fifth floor where Professor Slughorn's office was. Severus found himself letting go of Lily's hand on instinct, but he didn't look at her to gauge a reaction.

"I hope you don't mind, but Mum and Dad asked about you in their letter, Sev...I sent them an owl almost immediately after you were released from the Hospital Wing. I told them about what's been happening and they were ecstatic to hear that we're back on good terms again, and asked if they should be expecting you around quite a bit during Summer."

A chill went down his spine at Lily's admission. Another pair of ghosts from Severus' old life were back from the dead, and although he had become used to it by now, he didn't know what to expect. Jasper and Dahlie Evans had been gone from his life even longer than Lily had been, by virtue of his falling out with their daughter. He did remember well that the two of them were the antithesis to his own parents.

Where Tobias had self-destructed at the discovery of Severus' magical talents, Jasper was an extremely proud, if not curious father when it came to Lily's changes, always encouraging her talents. Where Eileen had abandoned her son to her husband's abuse, Dahlie Evans was a mother who doted on her children. Her family meant everything to her, and she often made it clear that because of Severus' place in Lily's life, he was just as much a part of that family. It had been so long since he had seen Lily's parents, or Petunia for that matter. Combine that with how hostile his own household was going to be, and Severus knew it was going to be a long, awkward Summer.

"_That was assuming Lily could even stand to look at you after you confess…"_ he dreaded to himself as they reached the fifth floor and made their way towards Slughorn's office. It was no wonder that the Head of Slytherin had no handle on his students' behavior considering he lived so separately from them…

* * *

"My word! That sounds like an absolutely dreadful experience, Miss Evans!" Slughorn's voice rang with troubled astonishment as he listened to the two fifth years recount what happened the night before. They did, however, leave out the details of their moonlit flight.

"I must say, Severus, you're proving to be quite an asset to keeping other students safe in this final week. I know it's irregular, but perhaps I could persuade the Headmaster to add you as an extra Prefect during your sixth year. You've certainly been-"

"I have no interest in such a post, Professor." Severus interrupted with obvious annoyance. "With all due respect, I think it's up to the Head of the House to set an example, and not a student who has to compensate for lack of attention. Lily could have died last night, and we don't even know who it was who tried to kill her."

"Yes…" Slughorn drifted off grimly. "I did notice several ingredients for Polyjuice Potion had disappeared from my stores, but I had assumed that students were studying its effects in preparation for the O.W.L.s.

"_And that is all the difference between this idiot and myself when I ran Slytherin."_ Severus thought resentfully as he glared at Slughorn. _"He has no eye on any of his students and likes to surround himself with celebrities to make up for his own insecurities. Is it any wonder that so many Death Eaters sprung up right under his incompetent nose?!"_

Nonetheless, Severus managed to stay calm despite his livid interior. The Potions Master nodded with a hint of understanding that he could see his student's frustration. "I'll be keeping a much closer eye on my wares in the future. I've been a bit lax as of late, and I suppose the blame for what happened last night partially falls upon me. Times are a bit grim for Slytherin House right now with all the rumors regarding...well, you know who…" he shuddered.

"I will be giving a full recount of what happened last night to the Headmaster. We're going to get to the bottom of who attacked you last night, Miss Evans, of that I can assure you." As if on que, the Professor's expression lightened considerably. "I will say that it's nice to see my two brightest students on such good terms again. I was getting a bit worried that you two would not be the dream team in N.E.W.T. classes that you had been for the past five years."

The redhead's eyes lit up. "My my, Professor, that's a bold statement. We don't even know what we scored on our O.W.L.s yet, and you're already talking about sixth year. What if Sev and I don't get E's?"

Slughorn's lighthearted laughter echoed throughout his small office. "E's?! I'd say there's a better chance of the Chudley Cannons winning the cup than you two not getting Outstandings, Miss Evans! You both have been the highlight of my time teaching since that day first year when you both walked in my class the very first time. Which reminds me!"

The Professor ceased for a moment and turned towards his personal cupboard, which was a blessing to Severus as he could only stand so much of Slughorn's rambling.

After about a minute of fumbling through the drawers of his cabinet, the Potions Master procured a small object and kept it hidden within his hands, though there was no hiding the almost giddy look on his round face.

"I'd like you both to take a look at this and tell me if you remember it." he said, opening his hands and revealing a rather extravagant looking necklace. The chain was a mixture of silver and gold links, with what appeared to be a small phial that was essentially the decoration for the piece

Severus took one look at the potion and knew right away from its intense green color that it was an Invigoration Draught. Though the significance of what he was supposed to remember was lost on him.

Lily, however, took a look at the phial and studied it closely for a few moments, looking at the smudged ink on the side of it and she almost squealed with glee. "Sev! Look!" she said, pointing to the black ink on the faded label.

Squinting a bit to decipher the smudge, he could see it. LE + SS, written in what had obviously been poorer versions of their own handwriting.

"This is the very first project that you turned in to me during your first time brewing as a pair. You both did exceptionally well on the Boils Cure that first years normally start with, so I put you together to see how far ahead of the pack you really were. Imagine, two first year students brewing a fifth year level potion. I knew then that it would be a waste to use or sell your first potion you made as a pair."

"Sev did most of the work. I was still getting my feet wet in the magical world…" Lily said with a blushing smile.

"Don't sell yourself short." Severus said, staring at the phial with genuine amazement that he had forgotten such a special memory. "You had a steady hand and were a fast learner. I'd been learning most of this from my mother's books for years before we arrived."

Something was bothering Severus as he looked at the phial. "Professor, have you been keeping this potion as a keepsake for us ever since we brewed it years ago?"

Slughorn nodded with overflowing exuberance. "Indeed, Severus. Normally when students make something for extra credit or on their own time, I either use it or find someone else who can, usually Madam Pomfrey. But this was such a display of advanced talent that I knew I had to keep it and give it to you both when you could appreciate how well you started and how far you've come. Sadly, there was only the one phial, so I couldn't craft one for each of you, but you're both free to keep it as you see fit."

Without hesitation, Severus looked at his best friend. "You keep it for now, Lily…" he whispered, handing the necklace back to her. "I'm usually not one for sentimental objects, but thank you for the gesture, Professor. It might even bring us some luck in the N.E.W.T. classes ahead. One thing though...don't potions that settle and ferment for a long time increase in potency?" he asked, already knowing the answer, but wanting to feign ignorance on such an advanced facet of potion-making.

"Quite right, Severus! Which is why I fashioned it into a necklace. Most Invigoration Draughts, even the most well-made, pack a punch, but nothing that outlandish. For a potion to have been brewed and settled that long ago and to not have been disturbed, I'd wager that little phial has enough energy to have some amazing, if not dangerous results for the drinker. Probably best not to drink it because of that fact."

Lily made one last look to Severus, questioning his decision for a moment before he nodded his assurances to her that it was okay. With a nod of gratitude to both her friend and the Professor, the Gryffindor girl put on the necklace and fingered the phial with giddy affection. "Thank you, Professor. This should be a reminder of happy, if not simpler times…"

**Author's Note: Took long enough, but I finally decided on my names for Lily's parents, Jasper and Dahlie. As always, the tradition of Evans women being named after a flower continued with Lily's mother, who I have named Dahlie, the German name of the Dahlia flower. Many great writers have given their own interpretations of Mr. and Mrs. Evans and I hope I can do justice to that with my own story for them once they're introduced during the Summer.**

**Once again, I apologize for how long it took to deliver this chapter. I had a visitor come in late October, and after I was done hosting for about two weeks, a little time-sink named Fallout 4 came out. Such a fantastic game, but it diverted a lot of my motivation.**

**Another thing I was waiting for was the ending of "His Greatest Wish", written by AndromedaMarine. I HAD to see the ending of a five-year Severus-Lily project that was a great inspiration in the planning of this story. Once I read the ending to that, I took some time to plan out where these characters were going, and what I could put in as little pieces of foreshadowing or future plot points that seem mundane now, but will make a great deal of sense later.**

**A lot of time was spent planning out how and where exactly I want this story to end, and so something very important was introduced in this chapter despite the otherwise uneventful nature of it compared to the few chapters before it.**

**As always, I want to thank my reviewers for their interaction and support, specifically hidden-muse-989 for their consistent, detailed thoughts and discussions every chapter. It's always great to see people following along with the story and delivering their own ideas that could always be considered later on. Hopefully I'm out of the gaming habit for a bit and can get back to delivering consistent updates for you all. Thanks for reading!**


	19. Chapter 18: The Mark

**Disclaimer: I have no ownership of the Harry Potter franchise.**

"_Today's the day…" _Severus thought to himself as he woke up to the familiar feeling of soft, green blankets against his body. It had been a long day and a half off from regular school studies since the end of O.W.L.s, but it was time for his last exam by virtue of his injury the week before.

After Severus and Lily had parted ways once their meeting with Slughorn concluded, the young Slytherin felt a hint of concern at seeing his best friend leave. That feeling was quickly swept away by the realization that she would be surrounded by the Gryffindors once she returned to the party, and at the very least, he knew the Marauders would be on their guard after what happened at the Astronomy Tower.

Friday was completely uneventful as classes had concluded. All that Severus had to distract him from his growing anticipation for the Ancient Runes make-up was Lily's incessant giggling and recounting what had actually happened at the party.

James Potter had apparently spiked one of the butterbeers on the table with a love potion, and invited any girl interested in the prospect to drink up and "see what fate brought them." The mere notion of Potter's flirtatious grandstanding would have sent Severus into a frenzy, but Lily managed to calm him when she mentioned that he had actually drank the love potion himself and promptly spent the rest of the night flirting in a mirror.

There was another fit of giggling when Lily confided in him that Alice and Frank, Gryffindor's Head Girl and Boy, had apparently snuck off to the Room of Requirement about an hour after Sirius had introduced some Firewhisky to the party.

"Just like Black to throw caution to the wind and give alcohol to students. I suppose they're all lucky that you and Lupin decided to take the night off from enforcing any rules." Severus sighed with disdain that the Marauders were just as childish as he remembered.

"Oh come on, Sev, lighten up!" Lily teased with a blush. "You seriously can't tell me that you've never wanted to just unwind after a year of hard work, especially with O.W.L.s being over with. Great talent like yours deserves to be rewarded now and then, don't you think?"

"Talent is an accident of genes - and a responsibility. I still have my Ancient Runes make-up to take care of tomorrow. Besides, these are dangerous times, Lily, or have you forgotten that your attacker is laying low somewhere in my beloved House?"

Lily's eyes grew downcast as she nodded. "I remember. And don't think that I've forgotten. I carry my wand wherever I go now. But Sev, school's out in a few days. Life's not worth living if you waste so much of it being cautious. I'd rather live a short and fulfilling life than a long one filled with misery and fear…"

Those words came dangerously close to triggering another attack on the part of Severus as he imagined those green eyes dead once more at the age of 21. Even worse when he imagined his own, older self shambling day by day waiting for an excuse to die. There was a great deal of truth in Lily's words, and he made himself scarce shortly after they ate dinner in the Great Hall.

Which led Severus to Saturday morning. Professor Babbling had sent him a note that she would be there to oversee his exam herself, but he would need to come to her office immediately after eating breakfast.

"_Hardly an inconvenience...I never did get much sleep in my later years anyway…"_ he thought to himself as he left his dorm to shower and get dressed for the day ahead…

* * *

"Welcome, Mr. Snape!" came the chipper, young voice of Professor Bathsheda Babbling as he entered her office. Of all of the staff members that Severus had seen so far since his rebirth, Professor Babbling was the least overwhelming considering that she was quite young when she took the post of Ancient Runes Professor. It was something of a friendly feud between Severus and Professor Babbling in his previous life. Prior to him, she held the record for youngest staff member in Hogwarts history at the age of 24, though Severus later beat that record at age 21.

Unlike many of the professors who had an extensive, magical skillset beyond the subject they taught, Babbling was a Ravenclaw that was fully and completely devoted to the Study of Ancient Runes. As such, Severus was certain if anyone knew anything about the meaning of that mark, besides Dumbledore of course, it would be her.

"All ready to begin then, Mr. Snape?" she asked in that irritating, singsong-like voice as she handed him his exam.

"Professor, there's actually something I wanted to ask you, about a certain rune. I was wondering if-"

The young professor interrupted Severus' inquiry. "I'm afraid the time to discuss the curriculum was before exam time, Mr. Snape. If it's anything regarding the test, it will have to wait until you've handed it to me."

Although there was a hint of frustration in Severus' eyes as he turned over the exam, he made no fuss as he reached for his quill and inkwell.

"_What's one more test and an hour or so of questions?"_

* * *

Much of the exam had proven to be rudimentary to Severus as his eyes glided expertly on the parchment. He hadn't had much practice in Ancient Runes since originally graduating Hogwarts, but a lot of context clues could be found in many of the runes being associated with numbers. Many of the pictures depicted on the runes dealt with some form of an animal and how it associated with a certain number. Unicorns represented one, an Acromantula represented eight, and so on. There was also a great deal of translation work done on certain runes of different languages and civilizations.

There were questions regarding the similarities and differences of Runes recovered from the Roman Empire, Byzantium, Ancient Greece, and numerous other extinct peoples. It always fascinated Severus how Ancient Runes was not a section of curriculum in the History of Magic course. If it were, the subject would likely have been more engaging for students with such mysterious and practical applications being covered in such a notoriously boring class.

After giving his written answers one final inspection to make sure he hadn't accidentally mistaken very similar runes for each other, Severus turned the pages over to indicate to the Professor that he was finished, a look of satisfaction on his face that his final O.W.L. was complete, easy as they all had been.

"Very good, very good, Mr. Snape!" Professor Babbling cheerfully grinned as she accepted the exam and placed it on her desk. "Now, I believe you had something you wanted to ask me?"

"Yes, Professor, I did." Severus nodded, eagerly sitting back down to get to work on precisely drawing the mark that had been on his chest for over a week now. "I had a question regarding a Rune that I had seen. I hadn't come across it during my studies, but thankfully it wasn't on the exam. Still, I was wondering if you could shed some light on what it is?" He said, handing her the parchment after he made sure he had drawn it correctly.

Professor Babbling's eyes lit up even more, something Severus hadn't thought possible with how cheerful the woman always was. "Why, I certainly can, Mr. Snape. But I'm sorry to say, there's really no short explanation when it comes to this mark."

"I have plenty of time, Professor." Severus assured her, his eagerness surrounding the mystery was almost unbearable at this point. The sooner he could solve the meaning of the mark, the sooner he could find out why it was interfering with his magic and get rid of it.

"Well, what you've drawn for me is the Mark of Apeiron."

"Apeiron..?" Severus repeated, uncharacteristically having no idea what he just heard.

The Professor nodded. "Yes, Apeiron. I'm not surprised you haven't heard of him, considering the rather...suspect list of subjects covered in History of Magic. Apeiron was a sorcerer from Ancient Greece, and one of the founding wizards who made great advancements on magical theory and application. You might be familiar with one of his creations: The Patronus Charm."

"The Patronus Charm dates that far back?!" the Slytherin asked, astounded that such a complicated spell had an origin ancestry that far back in Magical History.

"Indeed. The Patronus Charm was to be Apeiron's first step in development towards a new school of magic. Most of the books detailing his studies are marked with two runes placed strategically next to each other."

The young Professor eagerly began scribbling on the parchment next to the mark that Severus had made, and after a few moments, she returned it to him. "Translate these for me if you would, Mr. Snape."

Severus rolled his eyes at the idea of continuing to be tested on his knowledge after the exam was over, but obliged her nonetheless. The first marking was that of a dragon. This one was easy. "Potentia." Next to the dragon was a woman. With runes depicting people, one needed to look more closely at the subject's face to correctly understand the meaning of the rune. "This woman's eyes….they're almost unreadable, but they're not empty...Animus then?"

"Correct, Mr. Snape. Now put those two runes together and translate them for me."

"Potentia Animus...Strength of emotion?"

"Exactly! Apeiron was a wizard who came from a time when logic and reason was paramount, and that the importance of our souls, our core of who we are, should be undermined in the pursuit of power. One of the goals during that point in history was to completely rework a witch or wizard's magical core.

"There's a reason why our wands are considered an extension of who we are, because the cores are fashioned much in the same way as we are. Two points connected by a line. Handle to tip in the case of our wands, connected by a piece of a magical animal. In our own case, our core connects our heart with our mind. Giving form to what's in our hearts. There were a great many who sought to do away with the heart, and thought that reworking their cores to only encompass the mind would lead to a superior wizard, with greater control over their magic, and thus, a greater ability to perform more advanced magic. This gave rise to the practice of Occlumency, in an attempt to block out the heart completely."

The Professor seemed quite content in continuing her explanation, making sure that Severus was still paying attention before she took a sip of her tea. "This led to a particularly dark time in the history of Ancient Greece that I won't bore you with. Suffice it to say, many of those dark wizards, with their newfound skills in Occlumency, lost touch with reality and perpetrated a great many crimes on their fellow witches and wizards as a means of experimenting their new abilities. None of them had actually managed to completely change their cores to exist entirely in their minds, but it was as close as any wizard had come to making such a change. Until Apeiron came along…

"Aperion went on a crusade against these dark wizards, and had done what they had failed to do...or at least the opposite of it. He perfected a spell to completely focus a wizard's magical core into one point; their hearts. Since so many of them lost touch with their human emotions in their pursuit of power, once he cast that spell on them, their occlumency only served to completely strip them of their magic as long as they relied on it. If any of those wizards had any hope of being able to cast magic again, they would have to give in to their humanity once more. Many of them succumbed to madness due to the guilt of the things they had done. Everyone touched by that spell was left with a mark on their chest, right over their hearts. The very mark that you've drawn for me today..."

Severus' eyes shot open with shock, the long-winded explanation of Babbling indeed ringing true with everything that he had experienced so far during his second life. This 'Mark of Apeiron', was somehow the key to what had been happening to him since his resurrection.

"The spell was two-fold. It served as a weapon against wizards who falsely believed that magic was giving form to what was in our minds. And it also served as a tool for the wizard who realized that the truly inexhaustible well of magical power came from our hearts. Apeiron, as it's known now, is a word meant to describe the concept of infinite, without limit. The wizard it is named after believed that the heart was the key to making true advances in magic. The Patronus Charm was but the first step he wanted to make towards establishing this school of 'Heart Magic', but alas, he succumbed to illness shortly after creating the Patronus, and was unable to continue that concept of spellcasting any further.

"Why didn't anyone ever try to follow in his work?" Severus asked curiously, unsure of how he had never heard anything of this piece of history in his studies.

"Because the knowledge of how to cast that spell died with Apeiron himself. Nobody since that ancient era has any idea of how leave the mark which grants access to that kind of magical focus."

"_I can think of one wizard who probably knows…"_ Severus thought to himself with great disdain.

"Thank you, Professor. It's been quite...enlightening."

**Author's Note: Well, it's finally time for the chapter I'd been leading up to for awhile. I apologize if it comes across as an "info-dump", but I hope it adequately explains what Severus has been going through during his second life thus far. History fascinates me, especially when it comes to things dating further back, so I decided to create a story depicting another dark time in wizarding history in Ancient Greece, the time of the great thinkers and philosophers. I'm sure now that he knows the nature of what he's dealing with, Sev can't be too happy; he's essentially been strapped with a boat-anchor for reasons unknown, and has a pretty strong suspicion of who's to blame.**

**How does this relate to the future events in the story? I'll leave that up to speculation. As always, please leave thoughts and suggestions in reviews! It's so helpful and thought-provoking for me to read them!**

**One final thing: There's a quote in this chapter. "****Talent is an accident of genes - and a responsibility." This quote is from a very special man who unfortunately passed away this week, Alan Rickman. The man who breathed life into arguably the most important character of the whole Harry Potter franchise, the catalyst for everything that happens in the story. I can't emphasize how heartbroken I was when I heard the news of Rickman's passing, as he was easily my favorite part of the film franchise, and once I saw him portraying Severus, he was the one I saw in my mind's eye as I flipped through each page from that point on.**

**His portrayal of Severus Snape is just as important in my mind as Rowling's quotes and character development. You can't have one without the other. Thank you and farewell to this wonderful actor for everything you contributed to the world of theater and entertainment. You will be sorely missed.**


	20. Chapter 19: The House Cup

**Disclaimer: I hold no ownership of the setting, characters, or concepts of the Harry Potter universe.**

As the students piled into the Great Hall that Saturday night for the End-of-Year feast, Severus seemed oblivious to the rowdy noise of excited students. The words of Professor Babbling earlier that day had been bouncing back and forth in his head with all the subtlety of two Beaters smashing a Bludger.

"_Strength of emotion...honestly, did this Apeiron have no concept of keeping his weaknesses hidden from his foes? " _

Once he gazed across the large room and briefly caught a glance of Lily at the Gryffindor table, he couldn't help but scoff at his own conflicting thoughts. On one hand, he always felt somewhat lighter gazing into her green eyes and seeing them full of life once more, but that's when the memories of her death would haunt him most.

"_The things important to the heart are not a strength at all. What use is strength in your emotions if you open yourself up to the deepest pits of despair by living that way?"_

After a few moments of self-deliberation, even Severus was roused from his torrent of thoughts by the booming voice of Albus Dumbledore. The Headmaster was beginning his end-of-term speech, but the young Slytherin did not feel any particular motivation in looking at a man he had killed in another life. And so, Severus was content to let the words flow into his ears as he stared absentmindedly at the table.

"Once again, another year has come to a close. And as always, it's time to announce the results of the House Cup. As I understand it, this last week has been quite the back-and-forth between the our top two contenders, but let me start off by congratulating everyone who worked hard to earn points for their house this year. In fourth place, Hufflepuff, with 672 points…"

"_672…?! Since when does a last place house have so many points..?"_ Severus bemused to himself.

"In third place, Ravenclaw, with 734 points."

"_How in Merlin's name are the point totals so high..? There aren't any major staff changes except...oh…"_ He couldn't help but let out a chuckle once the irony hit him. The reason House points were so much lower in his previous life was because he was taking them away at a moment's notice.

"In second place, Slytherin, with 755 points. And in first place, Gryffindor, with a record-setting 794 points!"

From the applause of the Great Hall came the energetic cheering of the Gryffindor table, led most loudly by James Potter and Sirius Black, the pair of whom had earned the lion's share of those points, along with that year's Quidditch Cup. The lead would have been even bigger had Lily not taken points from James the week before.

"Yes, indeed, kudos to Gryffindor House for their lead. However, a very important event occurred earlier this week that I feel needs attention brought to it...Those at the Gryffindor table, I'd like you to direct your eyes to Miss Lily Evans…"

Each of the Gryffindors seemed bewildered by the Headmaster's request, but honored it, much to the embarrassment of Lily. The young Prefect's face had turned as red as her hair at the attention, not knowing what this was about. Severus also focused on Lily, ignoring the grumblings of the pureblood supremacists whispering about the Muggleborn girl.

"As you may have heard, Miss Evans was the victim of a life-threatening attack three nights ago during the Astronomy O.W.L.s. The identity of her attacker is yet unknown, but I can assure you all that the staff is working to get to the bottom of it. What isn't a question, however, is the identity of the student who saved her from certain death…"

Severus grew rigid, and he stared into Lily's emerald eyes. A smile was growing on her face, while the dread was mounting on his own. Clearly, they both knew what was coming.

"Mr. Severus Snape, of Slytherin House…"

The residual applause and cheer from earlier vanished instantly, and for once, Severus wished he were dead again, as all eyes in the Great Hall seemed to be upon him, completely silent besides the echo of Dumbledore's voice.

"Allow me to thank you personally for your selfless bravery that night. You saved not only Miss Evans' life, but all of us as well from grief and a heart-breaking memorial announcement. I cannot tell you how difficult it is as a Headmaster to do such a thing during a time meant for celebrating a year's end. And so, while I'm sure Miss Evans will agree that it can never be gratitude enough, I have no choice but to reward such heroism. I award Slytherin House 40 points, and I hope your actions can inspire the hearts of others in your house to defy all expectations in the name of what is right."

The entire Great Hall's silence continued, not that it mattered to Severus because the announcement had left him completely numb. He could feel the conflicted air of the Slytherin students around him. They seemed almost afraid to cheer, because although they had won the House Cup, it had been due to one of their brightest students saving the life of a Muggleborn witch…

For another few seconds, the rest of Hogwarts' students seemed unsure of how to react when Lily stood at the other end of the Great Hall and began clapping, a tearful smile as she did so. Immediately after, Mary, seated on Lily's right, followed suit in clapping. Then Remus, then Frank and Alice, and upon the Head Boy and Girl showing their appreciation, the floodgates opened as nearly everyone in the large room, student and staff, joined in thunderous applause.

The booming noise was almost too much to take as Severus felt the quiver in his spine. This time in his last life, he would have given anything for this kind of respect and attention. But given the circumstances now and how all he wanted to do was keep his head low for the sake of Lily's safety, he could only be fearful that this event might doom her to another attack…

* * *

As the students' celebrations started to wind down and the food from the feast began to dwindle, Dumbledore's voice once more echoed throughout the Great Hall.

"I would like to share a few words, as I so often do. What you choose to do with those words is just that, your choice, my young friends. As you all head off tomorrow to enjoy your Summers, amongst friends and family, I trust you all to be mindful of the political unrest brewing in our world at the moment…

"Quite often, we can be tempted to travel along an errant path. Whether that be from a desire for more out of life, or simply a desire to keep what you have. Fear, very often, is the first step of that path. My challenge to you all this coming Summer, is to face one fear head-on. To not be shackled by the suffocating sensation of that one fear, to not run away from the pain of that fear, but to conquer it. Whether that fear be something as common as a phobia, or something less direct and more challenging such as confessing a secret to another…"

Those words immediately caused Severus' eyes to look up and see the Headmaster's gaze intently locked on to his own. "After all, there is great strength to be found...when one follows the heart."

"_How can he know?! I haven't felt him try to invade my mind at all…"_ Severus was seething mentally. First, Dumbledore's call for attention to his saving Lily, and then seemingly taunting him with obvious knowledge of the Mark of Apeiron. As the students began filing to their house dormitories, the young Slytherin swore to himself that he would find out everything that the Headmaster knew when sixth-year term started…

* * *

The following morning passed in a blur for Severus, who woke shortly before dawn and finished his last-minute packing. Most of the preparations he made to leave were finished before the day had come, since he wanted to be away from the dangers of Hogwarts and the Slytherin crowd as soon as possible.

For their part, it seemed as though there was a strong divide in Slytherin students and their opinion of winning the House Cup the previous night. Many of the younger students, third-year and down, seemed to take notice of Severus' recognition and regarded him with a friendly smile when they saw him. This pleasantry, unfortunately, was not shared by the older students, although surprisingly Jacob Avery didn't seem to care either way, and had given Severus a quiet nod of approval as they made their way to their dorms to rest that night.

As Severus made his way into the bathroom to shower up, he once again took note of the Mark of Apeiron on his chest, the first time he looked upon it with any idea of what it truly was.

"_So now that I know what this thing is, the question is why I have it, and why Dumbledore knows about it. I can wager that he put it on me before I revived, but that doesn't explain how he learned the supposedly lost spell to begin with, nor does it tell me why would it persist if I was marked with it in death...What purpose would it even serve to place such a mark on me when all it will do is hinder me?! Is there no end to the old man's insanity?"_

For the next several minutes, Severus continued to relax. The cool water flowing out of the shower head seemed to be the only thing that could calm the maelstrom of questions in his mind, not the least of which was what it would be like seeing his parents again…

* * *

Once the students were aboard the Hogwarts Express, it slowly came to life with a loud whistle as the train started its long journey for King's Cross Station in London. Severus had managed to track down an empty compartment at the rear of the train, knowing it would his only opportunity at some peace and quiet if he found one early. Many of the younger Slytherin students had poked their heads inside and asked if they could join, to which Severus had to decline each of them as politely as he could. If he were honest with himself, it was a slightly uplifting feeling, being admired by younger students. Perhaps that trend could continue to curb those who were on the fence about Slytherin's more volatile habits.

As the minutes passed, Severus merely focused on the clattering of the wheels on the track. He expected nobody to join him; Lily would be busy in the Prefect compartment for a short while, and would likely join Mary and Alice for one last meeting, Lupin would be with the other Marauders, and honestly, it was better that way. Much to his surprise, however, his best friend knocked on the door and let herself in with a cheerful wave.

"My, Sev...I half-expected Hogwarts' newest celebrity to be in a compartment full of adoring fans, not brooding to himself." Lily said, only half-teasingly.

"I'd be lying if I said they didn't try to let themselves in, but I couldn't be bothered. You know I loathe excessive noise." He said with a thin smirk

"I dunno, I think it'd be good for you to make other friends. You might really do some good for the younger students of Slytherin House if you lead by example. I'm surprised you didn't take Slughorn up on his suggestion to become a Prefect next year."

"Absolutely not. I have enough on my plate as it is, babysitting students is something I have neither the time nor the motivation for. What about your friends in Gryffindor? How did they take last night's surprising switch of the House Cup?"

"If it were for any other reason than what Dumbledore gave, I think they'd be more angry and disappointed than they are. Not even Potter found much room to argue with what he did."

"Color me surprised. Anyway, why are you here, Lily? Not that I'm displeased to see you, but I'd have thought you would be with Mary and Alice…"

"Where do you think I just came from, Sev? We've been on the tracks nearly an hour...I did want to spend more time with Alice, given that she and Frank will be starting their training soon at the Auror Office, but she, Mary, and I will be spending some time together this Summer, so a little less time wasn't so bad." Lily's voice trailed off, as her gaze fell to her hands, which were fidgeting a bit nervously. "I guess...my curiosity is getting the best of me. We're officially on Summer break now, so, I was wondering-"

Severus interrupted her with an exasperated groan. "Lily, when I said I would tell you this Summer, I didn't mean the first chance we got on the bloody train. I wanted it to be somewhere a bit more private, like our spot back in Cokeworth."

Lily shook her head, raising her right hand to stop him. "Sev, it doesn't need to be anywhere special to tell me the truth of what's been going on with you. We're out of Hogwarts now, and I know you too well to think that you haven't already casted Muffliato on this compartment just for your own privacy's sake…"

He could only stare at his friend, unable to offer a defiant look to the contrary. She was correct, after all…

"I know that whatever it is you have to tell me is going to be difficult, so that's why I wanted to start with a question...Something I've been wondering about and it might take some of the pressure off if I ask it..." Her tone grew softer as her green eyes flickered, contemplating on how best to phrase what she was about to say.

"Sev...those visions of yours that I've seen, they raised a bunch of questions in my mind. The things you say, how it seems like you know more about things than you let on, how you could change so drastically right after the Defense O.W.L...is there Seer blood in the Prince line..? Have you seen one possible future or something of that sort?"

**Author's Note: My apologies for the cliffhanger. For some time now, I've been wondering how I'd approach the subject of Severus' confession to Lily, how long I'd wait, the level of surprise and disbelief she might have, so many questions and more have been flying around in my head, but the final part of this chapter I felt had to be done. Lily is not stupid. She's portrayed as a sensible, intelligent witch who is an incredibly quick learner in a world she is foreign to. And thus, with the scenario that I had up until this point, with Severus' abrupt change in attitude, the visions flying out of his head, the little verbal slip-ups he keeps making, it would be silly for Lily to have no hypothesis whatsoever for what's going on with her best friend. She'd be incredibly uncaring and unobservant if she hadn't at least formed a theory. Of course, as on-track as that theory might be, she's about to find out just how drastically worse the reality is.**

**On the subject of the House Cup, I knew I wanted to do something really cool with Dumbledore before we take a break from Hogwarts. Oftentimes he gets called out for Gryffindor favoritism, though I think it's more appropriate to say he has Harry favoritism. I don't think it would've mattered where Harry was sorted, the boy was always going to have the support of Dumbledore due to the nature of where his destiny was leading him. The fact that Dumbledore requests Severus to spare Draco Malfoy the soul damage of murdering him tells me that even the 'evil' Slytherin house is treated with a great deal of care by the Headmaster, and so when it comes to Severus saving Lily's life, of course that would be rewarded. It's so uncharacteristic of everything else in the House, and I think the idea of having a good role model in Slytherin, combined with his own growing curiosity of Severus would greatly lend to Dumbledore giving him those points.**

**Next chapter, well, I don't think I have to tell you what it's going to comprise of. It's going to be a long trip back to London for poor Severus...**

**As always, my thanks go out to everyone who takes the time to read and review my work. It's so important to me to see people's thoughts and feedback, so seeing such a response from so many of you is very gratifying and motivating. Please keep reviewing so I can get a better idea of seeing your theories and desires for things in future chapters!**


	21. Chapter 20: Confessing the Truth

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, concepts, or settings of the Harry Potter world. Several quotes are used directly from the chapter 'The Prince's Tale' from The Deathly Hallows.**

For a few moments, the inside of the train compartment was completely silent save for the rhythmic sound of the wheels shuffling along the train tracks. The Slytherin boy was completely at a loss as he struggled to process the question Lily had asked.

"Sev..? Say something…" Lily pleaded as she noticed what little color Severus had left in his face drain completely.

Without speaking a word, she watched as he got to his feet and walked to the door. She was about to protest his attempt to leave, only to watch as he pulled down the privacy curtain. Once he did so, however, he stood unmoving with his back to her. After what seemed like an eternity of his stonewalling, Lily noticed a weak chuckle finally break his silence.

"It's funny...years of deception have passed throughout my life, yet the one person I wanted to hide everything from comes startlingly close to figuring out the truth for herself…"

Lily's mouth opened, yet nothing came out as she waited for an explanation. If she was close, what else could it have been? Her thoughts were quickly interrupted when Severus turned back to face her, a look of absolute misery etched on his face. Her best friend's eyes were swimming with unshed tears that looked like they would break free any moment.

"Maybe I'm just tired of hiding, of lying to survive. You have no idea...how many times I've wished that everything that's happened could have just been a bad dream or a vision."

To Lily, those black eyes had lost a great deal of their armor and strength, and it disturbed her greatly. The look on her best friend's face betrayed a lifetime of misery, an absolute loss of the ability to care anymore. She watched as he slowly made his way back to the seat opposite hers, and although she could see that her gaze seemed to sting him with each passing moment, he made no attempt to break their eye contact.

"Honestly, I haven't the slightest idea of where to even start with all of this…" his voice trailed off.

"Why not start at the beginning?" she suggested, trying to remain helpful and strong when it was clear that his own strength was breaking.

"And what beginning are you referring to, Lily?" He asked, barely able to breathe out the words. "The beginning of this life, or where it all started with my previous one?"

"Wh-what?! Previous..? What in Merlin's name does that mean, Sev?"

"I mean that this isn't the first time I've been in Hogwarts as a teenager. From the moment you stepped forward at my defense that day at the lake...the day of my absolute worst memory...it's like I've been doing my life over."

"Your worst memory…" She echoed, remembering when she heard that phrase before. It had been when she found him in the Room of Requirement, an even worse wreck than he was now, and the moment his visions...no...memories started to force their way into her mind.

The words struck her with the force of a hammer as she recalled them. The vision of that day at the lake, so similar to how she herself remembered it. Only Severus wasn't so focused on her. Nor was he calm. He was furious. There was no concussion. He broke his fall, and when she came to his defense…

"_I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"_

A sharp intake of breath escaped Lily's lips as the recognition of what she had seen had finally started to sink in. And with one small, powerful motion, she cast her gaze down to her lap, her lips parted and trembling.

All Severus could feel was relief at being freed from her gaze, yet heartbreak that she seemingly couldn't look at him anymore. Clearly, she was starting to put together the two conflicting sets of events that happened at the lake.

"That...was the way it happened in my first life, Lily. There is no excuse, no amount of apology could make up for what I did that day. And...rightfully so, I suppose; you never did forgive me after that. To this day I don't even know what caused me to say it. My anger at Potter, my embarrassment of being humiliated, the pain of having you smile as it happened...At the end of the day, I suppose what was truly to blame were my own self-destructive tendencies."

If Lily had heard any of what he said, Severus certainly couldn't tell. Her downcast stare hadn't wavered, and it seemed like she was trying to envision the details based on what his memories had betrayed to her over a week ago.

"So...if everything that you're saying is true...that what I've been seeing are your memories from this...first life...that means…" Her voice was trembling, interrupted by a gasp as her green eyes slowly moved towards his left arm. A few tears slid down her cheeks as she recalled another memory...the branding ceremony, Severus surrounded by Death Eaters as he swore his service to...

"Yes. After that day at the lake, you never spoke to me again. You never accepted my apologies, and now that I know what I do about your Boggart...I can hardly blame you. But after that, everything that was good in my life, everything that could have turned me away from that path was gone. And so I got darker, more drawn to power, and I foolishly turned to a man that I thought would free me from a life of mediocrity and misery." He slowly undid the left cuff of his robe's sleeve, sliding it back to reveal his clean, pale forearm. It was a symbolic gesture, confessing where his Dark Mark had been in his previous life.

"Have you...k...killed anyone…?" Lily's voice was quivering as she looked at it, the tears coming down harder as a hint of anger seemed to resonate underneath her despair at her friend's confession. She was trying desperately to cling to her own words that she had once assured him and herself were true. That her friend wasn't a murderer...

"Two people." He croaked, pain evident in his words.

"Anyone I know?" She spat, her voice growing bitter.

"Albus Dumbledore." Severus sighed.

"What?!" Lily raised her eyes in horror. She got to her feet, staring down at him, those piercing green emeralds filled with betrayal. Indeed, Severus had seen that look once before...

"Lily, stop. This is where it gets complicated. I'm telling you everything, the bad, and the...well, I guess there's little good to be found, but I promised you I'd be truthful. If you're going to storm out, please, just wait until I'm done speaking with you." He spoke with all the authority he had during his time teaching, and after a few moments of consideration, it was enough to get her to sit down, though she folded her arms defensively and cast her gaze down again.

"Think back to that memory of my meeting with Dumbledore. The one that spoke of a prophecy. Do you remember it?"

Lily stiffly nodded her head. What she recalled was obviously an incomplete recollection, but there was enough there to discern what had happened. Severus had told Lord Voldemort about some kind of a prophecy relating to her, and had come back to relay what he knew to Dumbledore.

"It was two years into my time with...them."

"Death Eaters." Lily corrected, meeting his gaze once more with a harsh glare.

"Yes...Death Eaters…" he sighed, feeling the sting that she had no-doubt intended to leave in her words. "Two years after I joined, Dumbledore hosted an interview with a woman who was applying for the recently-vacant position to teach Divination. He…" Severus drifted off, referring to Voldemort, but not wishing to say the name, nor call him the Dark Lord for fear of angering Lily further. "He was looking to get someone into the staff at Hogwarts in order to obtain information about Dumbledore's plans. The Headmaster was the leader of a group called the Order of the Phoenix, a sort of counter-weight to the Death Eaters in the wizarding world. A group, as it so happened, that you were a part of…"

"So we were enemies then...enemies on opposite sides of a war…" Lily muttered, the implications of Severus' words ringing quite clearly to her.

"For a short time, yes, we were. I was sent to spy on Dumbledore's interview with the soon-to-be Professor Trelawney. Admittedly, it looked like there was no chance of her getting the job, until she suddenly went into a trance, relaying the words of a prophecy. That the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord was coming. That he would be born as July, the seventh month, ended, to parents who thrice-defied him. But before I could hear any more, I was caught. Once I returned, I relayed what I had heard, and for a time, that appeared to be the end of it."

Lily's impatient stare continued to bore right through Severus' composure; clearly she knew otherwise.

"Then, once July came and went, two children were announced to have been born in the final days of the month, both to couples that had defied him three times. Neville Longbottom, born to Alice and Frank…And Harry Potter, born to James...and you…"

If it were possible for Lily's deep, expressive eyes to widen any further at his words, it would surprise Severus.

"I...came to find out that he interpreted that prophecy as referring to you, your husband, and your son. And even though I hadn't spoken to you for years by that point, even though we were on opposite sides of the war, I knew it was my fault that he was hunting you. And I couldn't let him do it...not to you…So I went to Dumbledore, told him everything, and agreed to become his double-agent. Pretended to remain loyal to the Death Eaters, but from that day forward, my loyalty was with the person it always should have been."

Lily's gaze had softened somewhat at his confession that he had chosen to redeem himself, but she still shook her head. "If that's true, then why did you kill him?! And...what if he had chosen Frank and Alice? Would that have been just fine with you if another family that wasn't mine was destroyed?!"

Severus closed his eyes, attempting to recompose himself before looking at her again. "To answer the second question...I don't know. It's one that I've asked myself multiple times. What if you hadn't been chosen. Would I have turned from that path? And more importantly, would you still be alive?"

Instantly, her accusatory tone ceased at this revelation. "I...I died? What about James? What about our son?"

Severus opened his eyes once more, and black met green. He could feel the weight lifting from his shoulders inch by inch as his explanation continued, but it wasn't enough. She needed a more complete picture than words could convey...And so, this time, once the memories flooded out of his mind on instinct, he no longer made any attempt to fight the flow…

_The scene before Lily's eyes shifted to what she recognized as Dumbledore's office, populated only by two figures. The Headmaster was standing over the seated form of Severus, who was sobbing in a pain that haunted her. _

"_I thought...you were going...to keep her...safe…"_

_This was it. This was right after she died, and as she looked at the slightly older Severus, all she could see was a man destroyed. Who had lost everything._

"_She and James put their faith in the wrong person. Rather like you, Severus. Weren't you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?"_

"_But what about James? What about...my son?" she asked herself, feeling the maternal instincts of the boy she did not know start to flutter in her stomach._

"_Her boy survives." _

"_At least...Harry is safe." she reminisced with a tragic smile._

"_Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and color of Lily Evans's eyes, I am sure?"_

"_DON'T!" Dumbledore was interrupted by the defeated shout of Severus, startling Lily. She looked at the face of Severus, a man who looked to have aged a hundred years from grief, one whose voice had dropped to a defeated whisper. "Gone...dead…"_

"_Is this remorse, Severus?"_

"_I wish...I wish I were dead…"_

"_Because of me..?" She asked herself. "Honestly, Severus, don't you have anyone else in your life that's important to you..?"_

"_And what use would that be to anyone? If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."_

_Lily immediately stopped in her tracks as she shuddered at Dumbledore's words. "Love…?! Sev..?"_

And almost in response to her words, the scene started to vanish in billowing smoke, returning her to her seat in the train compartment as Severus had broken their eye contact. This time, his gaze was the one that faced downward, his cheeks tinged with a hint of blush.

"Apologies...I should have ended that memory earlier…" He whispered, turning to look out the window at the green countryside passing by.

Lily was completely silent, taken aback by everything Severus had told her thus far, combined with this latest memory he had shared. There were a number of questions lingering in her mind, but her silence persisted, allowing him to continue.

"There were a number of events that followed, too numerous and not important enough to waste time talking about right now. If you want to know more about them at a later time, I'll tell you. But following the return of the Dark Lord, Dumbledore asked me to return to my duties as a spy. Just over a year after that, the Headmaster came to me, cursed by some manner of dark magic that I could only slow, not stop. At the same time, I had informed him that the Dark Lord was planning to have him killed, the murder to be carried out by a young, reluctant student who had just joined the Death Eaters.

"I knew, and I think Dumbledore did as well, that the student wouldn't be able to follow through with it. So that meant that the task would fall to me. And so, that was the day that Dumbledore asked the impossible of me, to kill him in front of a group of Death Eaters so all suspicion of my allegiance would be gone. He called it a mercy killing since his life was ending anyway...yet that did nothing to ease the stress my soul was racked with after I did it."

Lily could see those black eyes waver, and his voice was quite uneasy. Dumbledore's reasoning for trusting Severus to end his life was sound...in a cold, unfeeling way that Lily absolutely did not agree with. Surely there could have been another way…it was clear that the deed was still doing a number on Severus' mind, no doubt that was amplified further by seeing all of these ghosts from his past…

"Wait a minute…" she spoke, breaking the silence as that thought stuck with her.

"If you're here, and this is somehow a second life for you...did...did you die too?"

Severus nodded with a surprising lack of care, as if this news were the easiest of all for him to break, an action which deeply disturbed Lily.

"_Did...did he really have such little regard for his own life by the end of it?"_ She thought to herself with a great deal of torment.

"Yes." He answered her question about his fate. "I was killed by the Dark Lord...not out of my deception being discovered, but rather because he thought I held ownership of a powerful weapon. I spent a brief period of time in what I assume is the afterlife, only to be thrown back here, at the exact point when all of this spiralled out of control."

"How old were you..?" She questioned tragically.

"I was 38."

"And me? How old was I when I died?"

"You were 21."

She let out a quivering breath.

"I honestly have no idea what happened after that. I was in a white limbo, only to be visited by Dumbledore. He gave me a choice, with the option to come back to this era...to 'shape the world with my own choices' as he so eloquently put it in his usual, infuriating way. I woke up right at the moment of my worst memory, and from there, you've been here for the rest."

"Don't lie to me, Severus…" Lily muttered once she saw he had finished with his explanation.

"Lily, I assure you, everything I told you about my old life is the truth…" He said, taken aback by her accusation.

"You know what I meant!" She snapped with annoyance. "All that bollocks about shaping your future and the world around you, when you and I both know that you didn't give a damn by the end of it. You didn't care whether you lived or died; in fact, death was probably a relief for you by that point…" Her voice was breaking, and the tears were beginning to pour again. "You just came back to see me again, didn't you?!" She bellowed, getting to her feet and making for the door.

"Lily, wait!" Severus called, trying to reach for her arm, but he was too late as she slid open the compartment door, and slammed it shut behind her, leaving him alone in an all-too familiar position. His forehead came to rest against the door in defeat, just as it had against the Fat Lady's portrait when they had their falling-out in his previous life. A few, brief sobs left Severus' lips as he realized he was alone again…

In the train's central hall, Lily had collapsed against the other side of the door, sitting with her back against it, unaware that the only thing separating her from Severus was the door between them...

"_So...you spent nearly 17 years living for no other reason but to correct your mistakes...in my memory? No...that's not living...that's just existing...from day to day waiting to die...Sev...nobody is worth that kind of pressure to put on yourself…"_ She desperately wanted to vocalize those melancholy thoughts out loud as she made her exit, but couldn't bring herself to do so as she continued to cry for the tragedy that her best friend had suffered through.

**Author's Note: There's just way too much that Severus needs to confess to get out of the way all at once, so I really wanted to focus on a few things he needed to tell Lily in order for there to be a greater understanding of what happened to him. Other things from his past life will come up at later points in the story, but the major bullet points needed covered.**

**The ending of this chapter is what I really wanted to drive home, and was one of the first images in my head when I first started writing the whole story. A lot of times when I read other "Severus goes back in time" fanfiction, there's not a lot done to capture the conflict that these two characters have. They very clearly care for each other, in Snape's case, almost too much for Lily. Yet there's a very strict difference between their moral guidelines. **

**If you look at the nine classic D&amp;D character alignments, Lily very clearly falls under Lawful Good (some might even say Lawful Stupid). She's very grounded in her morals of right and wrong if you read the way Rowling writes her in the books. That's a rough skeleton for me to go on. Basic character alignments are boring and flavorless if there is no reasoning or detail to any of it, which is why I added Lily's boggart in the story to give her some reasoning for why she abandons Severus following his worst memory. The same goes the fact that she had been in the dark about what truly horrible things his father had done to him.**

**The things that Severus had done in his past, whether he regrets them or not, are going to shock Lily, especially since he's made such large strides towards improving his behavior since his resurrection. It's a huge pill to swallow and it's going to take some time. The Mudblood Incident, the fact that he chose to become a Death Eater, the fact that he has killed (I plan to go into much greater detail on the first person he killed at a later time; it's something I've referenced once or twice so far, and it will be important later), and even the reason in which he DID defect, these are all things that speak volumes about Severus' shortcomings as a character. But at the same time, he DID turn back from that dark path Voldemort put him on. Too late for Lily's sake, but he stood the course nonetheless, and that too speaks volumes.**

**All in all, people are going to take their stance on which characters they side with, and that's an inevitability. As I said at the start of this story, I'm trying to faithfully keep these characters in the same shades of grey that I saw them in when I read from Rowling's books. Not everyone will agree, and that's perfectly fine, perception is an important part of literature and fan discussion.**

**Thanks so much for reading, and hopefully I'll have another chapter ready soon. As always, please feel free to leave your thoughts and reviews for me to see! They're always so helpful to keep a pulse on where my readers are at throughout the process of writing new chapters, so I'm happy to see Tempus Vita so well-received!**


	22. Chapter 21: Homecoming

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, characters, concepts, or otherwise, from the Harry Potter franchise.**

Severus could barely support the weight of his own body on his legs as history seemed to repeat itself. As he expected...the sins and mistakes of his previous life seemed to overshadow everything, even after he had done so much to repent for them. But as before, what haunted him most was the pain evident in Lily's eyes as she left.

"_You...you don't belong here...she was right. The only reason you came back was the hope that you might make things right with her. Everything else that's happened has just been a bi-product of working towards that goal. It's just like it was with Harry...never about him...just about something I felt I owed to Lily..."_

The Slytherin boy collapsed to the floor of his train compartment, clutching his head as memories from the previous time sent surges of pain throughout his mind.

"_Anywhere but here...anywhere but here..!"_ he screamed internally as the pain in his head became nearly unbearable…

* * *

Lily's own tears continued to flow, still trying to process everything that Severus had told her.

"_Why…? Why would he hold on for so long to someone that abandoned him? He held on until the day he died...and even beyond that."_

"Lily? Why are you crying?"

The young redhead looked up to see the concerned, blue eyes of Mary staring down at her.

"M-mary...what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to come and talk with you and Severus...I wanted to plan a shopping trip to Diagon Alley this summer and wanted to ask if he'd join…"

Mary's gaze passed back and forth between the door with its privacy curtain down, and the tears still evident in Lily's eyes.

"He...he told you, didn't he? Told you his secret?" the blonde Muggleborn asked with a hint of sadness.

"Told me...what?! You knew?!" Lily asked sharply. For a brief moment, she didn't know whether to be offended or relieved that he had shared the knowledge with someone besides her...

Mary raised her hands defensively as she shook her head. "I don't know what it was that he was hiding, Lily, but I came across him looking quite distraught one day by the lake. He said that he had a great deal that he wanted to tell you, but he was convinced that once he did, you'd hate him forever…"

After a moment of consideration, Mary seated herself right beside Lily against the door to the compartment. "Given the look on your face, it seems like you didn't take his news quite as well as I thought you might-"

Lily interrupted with a snap. "I think I'm taking it QUITE well considering how terrible it turned out to be! Don't speak about things you know nothing about, Mary!" Once the words escaped her lips, she winced a bit; the guilt from taking it out on one of her closest friends hit her instantly.

Mary, however, seemed unfazed by Lily's reaction and just turned her gaze downward. "So was he right then? Do you hate him..?"

Almost instantly, Lily shook her head. "No...How could I feel hatred for anything Severus has done when _**I'm**_ the reason for it all...if anything, I'm angry with myself...I've been such an inadequate friend to him. I was never there for him in the ways I needed to be in order for him grow comfortable with who he is, the way I see him...and so it seems I'm the only thing he actually seems to care or worry about…"

Her conflicted words were interrupted by a loud crack in the room behind her, breaking her free from the reflection as she knocked on the door.

"Sev..? Sev!" she cried as she opened the door to an empty compartment, the only sign that Severus had been there was his trunk on the luggage rack.

"_That sound...I guess that's all the proof I need that what he said was true...well, that and the night at the Astronomy Tower…Sev...where have you gone? And why without your things?" _She pondered, looking out the window at the moving countryside.

Mary peeked into the compartment, eyes wide in shock. "Wait a minute, did Severus just apparate?! How can he do that at our age; he doesn't even have a license!"

Lily shook her head with with the barest hint of a smile. "Sev can do a lot of things that he shouldn't be able to do, Mary...I only hope that he's somewhere I can find him." The young witch gently grabbed the handle of Severus' trunk and led her friend out the door, deciding to look after his belongings until she could return them to him later.

* * *

Severus let out a groan when he opened his eyes, lifting himself up from a very shabby, brown carpeted floor. He shook his head, trying to orient himself after he accidentally apparated. The walls of the living room were covered in green wallpaper that had been peeling for a number of years, and the ever-present aroma of alcohol and cigarette smoke was obvious as he took a deep breath in. The young Slytherin looked around the living room, finally realizing where he was as he saw numerous items and football paraphernalia crowded along the stained wood shelves and the large television. Years ago, family photos stood where the meaningless items were, but they had long been discarded.

He heard a creaking from the top of the staircase as a small voice called down, one that he hadn't heard in nearly twenty years.

"Tobias? Is that you? You're home early! I'll have dinner made right away!" called the whimpering voice of a woman. Before Severus could react or prepare himself, the gentle footsteps quickly made their way down the stairs, and the boy came face to face with the wide eyes of his aging mother, Eileen Snape.

Time had not been kind to Severus' mother, or rather, life in Cokeworth hadn't been. The stress evident on the woman's face and the few, stray gray hairs dotting her thick, black hair which stretched halfway down her back, it was obvious that life in the Snape household had aged Eileen considerably, despite not even being 40 yet.

"S...Severus…" the witch turned her face downward once she realized that her abusive husband was not the one who entered. "What are you doing here already? I was going to be at King's Cross to pick you up...Hogwarts Express doesn't arrive for another two hours."

The boy let out a snort of annoyance, not surprised at the lackluster reception of his mother. Any tender feelings he might have had upon seeing her again were quickly dashed when he remembered that she was just a shell...not the doting mother that she had been once upon a time.

"Sorry to disappoint you by showing up early...I guess this means you can start on your master's dinner earlier than expected then."

"Please don't start with this already, Severus." Eileen made her way into the kitchen, turning on the dim light and beginning to start a kettle of tea. "Tobias...he's...good to me...to the both of us. We'd have nowhere to live if it weren't for him."

"Living under a motorway overpass would be better than sharing a house with that cretin you call your husband. You call yourself a Prince?" Severus spat.

Eileen turned around, shouting back at her son as much as her weak voice could manage. "No! I call myself a Snape! Just like you should! Why must you ALWAYS act this way, Severus?! Don't you understand that I did the best I could with you?!"

"NO! No, you did NOT!" Severus bellowed, stepping into the kitchen and wincing as his mother recoiled at his rage. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself before continuing. He wouldn't make the mistake of stooping to Tobias' level to make his point with the already broken woman.

"You could have stolen some of his money, exchanged it for galleons to buy a wand, and done something about it! There isn't a member of the Wizengamot that would have found you guilty for protecting yourself and your son...even if it meant killing him. Instead, you let him destroy us. There was nothing to EVER love about Tobias Snape, not even before what happened that day. Because he forced you to abandon what made you special, extraordinary, and turned you into a shambling little house pet."

Eileen had turned back around, tending to the stove. Severus could see that her head was knelt down even further in shame at his words. For many years, he felt robbed of the opportunity to truly articulate just how much he resented his mother for what happened, but he never had that chance. It instinctively hurt the boy, hearing the sniffling of the woman as she continued to have her back facing to him. That was when he noticed the bruise on the back of his mother's neck...clearly the abuse had been continuing to this day.

"I don't want to hear this anymore...say what you will about your father, but he continues to provide for us. Tobias has worked very demanding hours ever since I first got pregnant with you just as a way to make ends meet. He's not...the way he was before, of course not. But he keeps us here, hasn't thrown us out. I've told you all of the terrible stories about the harassment he received from my father when I wrote him of our engagement...does it honestly surprise you that he grew to hate magic as much as he did?"

Severus shook his head, realizing the futility of continuing to argue with Eileen. "I don't care how the both of you decide to justify his behavior. All I need to see is that bruise on your neck. Look at me, Eileen…" he spoke with a grim hatred in his voice, calling his mother by her first name.

This prompted the middle-aged woman to turn around frantically, her eyes widening when she saw the wand clutched in Severus' hand, pointed down to the floor. No wand had ever been drawn in the Snape Household in the time since the witch had forsaken her magical heritage at her husband's request, and certainly not by the young Slytherin during his time growing up there.

"What...in Merlin's name are you doing with that in this house..?!" Eileen shuddered.

"Doing what you should have done years ago...if Tobias raises his hand on either of us again...it will be the last time he ever has a hand to raise. We've spent enough years in fear from him. That mark on your neck...is the last I'll ever see."

Eileen had grown visibly weaker in the knees with each word Severus spoke, her lips quivering as her black eyes, the same ones passed down to her son, started to flood with tears. Finally, the witch collapsed to the floor, sobbing. "S-s-sevvie...I never wanted to face the fact that I failed as a mother...every vile thing that man has ever done to me...I-I...I deserved it. For abandoning my baby the way that I did..! Please...you don't have to stay here. You don't have to endure any more of this. This house has not broken you, and I don't ever want to see it do to you what it did to me. But this...living with Tobias...It's my own personal Azkaban...and it's what I deserve for failing you. I'm so sorry, Severus!"

Severus looked down at the crying form of his mother without uttering a word. So many years of animosity for the way he felt she had abandoned him seemed to crumble with a simple apology from Eileen. An apology that he had never received in his previous life.

The boy took a few steps further into the kitchen and knelt down next to the wilted form of Eileen Snape. With a gentleness that he only reserved for one other person, Severus wrapped his arms around his mother's shoulders and brought her into an affectionate embrace. "I know what that self-loathing feels like...more than you may ever know. But choosing to live in hell...for the sake of another...I feel like a hypocrite for saying this...don't do it. I've never been angry enough at you that I would ever condone what happened. There's still so much you can do...don't give up on living...Mum…"

"Sevvie…" Eileen choked, taken aback by her son's tenderness. "You haven't...called me Mum since your second year at Hogwarts…"

Had it really been that long? Severus' memories of that time were so hazy that it surprised him that his brewing cauldron of anger and loathing had started so early on. "Perhaps I've needed to...for both of our sakes. We'll worry about that once I've put Tobias in his place."

Eileen nodded weakly. "Okay, sweetheart. Just...don't do something that will get you in too much trouble. You're still underage...and still on the trace."

* * *

After taking several minutes to recompose herself, Eileen gathered enough strength to stand back up and take a seat at the kitchen table as Severus served the both of them tea.

"So...how have things gone at school this year? Do you have a good feeling about your O.W.L.s?" Eileen asked with a slight smile.

"Honestly, if I got less than an O on any of them, save perhaps History of Magic, you have my permission to disown me." Severus snorted.

Severus' unwavering confidence caused his mother's smile to widen, as well as some of it to stretch into her previously hollow eyes. "No surprise. I doubt anyone at that school could touch you. If you don't mind me asking...that boy, Fleamont Potter's son. Is he still menacing you as always?"

He shook his head with a bit of a sigh of relief. "Not anymore. There's been a lot going on at school as of late, so I've managed to avoid any recent encounters with him."

"And these 'goings on'. Do they have anything to do with Lily?" The smile on his mother's face had finally progressed to something more natural when they arrived at the subject of the muggleborn witch.

"I would...really prefer to avoid talking about her right now." Severus sighed, his gaze turning downward. "I'm not even sure if I'm ever going to speak with her again...I messed up pretty badly."

This time, it was Eileen's turn to snort derisively at the words of her son. "Severus, you two have known each other since before Hogwarts. Whatever it was that you said or did, as long as you have the opportunity to make amends, you'll both come out of it stronger, and hopefully, more understanding of each other. Are you still holding on to that silly idea that joining your housemates on their crusades is going to impress her?"

"No. I've burned so many bridges with them as of late, that I might as well forget about that offer Lucius left on the table for me. Which is for the best, if I want to try to salvage anything with her."

"Do try...that girl...she puts a smile on your face in all the ways I wish I could have when you were younger. Sometimes, it even reminds me of the time before…" Eileen droned off, hearing the familiar sound of a car pulling up to the house.

The roar of the engine, entirely too loud, immediately caused what little color that was on Eileen's face to drain. "No...he's...he's here already…!"

**Author's Note: I really can't apologize enough for how long it took me to bring this chapter to you guys. For the last several months since my last update, I've held down a job which was severely taxing my life. Hobbies, interests, things that usually served to relieve stress and put a smile on my face, all of it seemed to just be a distraction more than anything as of late. Things that I did no longer made me happy, and it was turning me into a shell of a person.**

**That being said, last week, I ceased working there. Took some time to get reacquainted with the things that used to make me happy. Thankfully, it all seems to stick a little better now that I don't have the cloud of this job over my head. I work somewhere else now, somewhere that the stress doesn't carry over nearly as much.**

**Anyway. Back on topic. How could I honestly follow up the last chapter with Severus' big revelation to Lily? That was the question that was burning in my mind these past several months, and I decided it was best to make this a sort of cool-off chapter, a wee bit of the fallout on Sev and Lily's take on what happened, but more importantly, to introduce Eileen Snape to the readers.**

**There have been so many great fan interpretations of what this woman was like in these "Back in Time" stories. The image that's always stuck in my mind is a really broken woman who is holding on to whatever twisted idea it means to be a mother to her son. There's a lot he needed to say to her to get off his chest, but by no means does he place anywhere near the level of blame on her that he does Tobias.**

**Next up...the encounter with said horrible man.**

**As always, if you enjoyed what you read, or even if you didn't, yet just took the time to read anyway, I really welcome any and all feedback that comes my way. Just as so many of you have waited for an update with bated breath (and it's really flattering to me that many of you have), I wait eagerly to see what your responses are. Thanks again for reading, especially those of you who have been patient in your waiting for an update.**


	23. Chapter 22: Eviction

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or concepts of the Harry Potter universe.**

**A mild warning of some more harsh language than usual and suggested violence contained in this chapter**

Severus looked down at the kitchen table, trying in vain to make eye contact with his mother. He thought it was impossible for the broken woman's stature to shrink anymore than it already had, but Eileen shivered and tilted her head downward at the sound of the rumbling of the car's engine.

"S-severus...you'd better get upstairs. I don't know what kind of mood Tobias is in, but-"

"Enough!" Severus snapped, causing his mother to look up at him in surprise. "I don't give a damn what kind of mood he's in; if he knows what's good for him, he'll mind his own business! There will be NO MORE HIDING! For either of us!"

Eileen merely sat in silence, dread building on her face once the car stopped and a few moments passed before the door was unlocked. In walked a person that Severus would have been content to never see again. Tobias Snape was a well-built man, given his years working at the local mill. His short, brown hair had begun showing hints of receding, and his blue eyes, which had once upon a time held the warmth of a father, had long been glassy and cold. It was obvious that his darker mood had led to a slightly more careless approach to his appearance, as there was a thin layer of a stubble on his face. A face that Severus had inherited from him, minus the eyes and hair that closely resembled Eileen's, not to mention the hooked nose that he had broken.

Tobias stepped through the door of his house before stopping, looking up and down at Severus' form with obvious disdain. "Oh. You. Home already, are you?" his gravelly voice spoke with a cockney accent. "Those band of freaks kick you out or did you just feel like darkening my house a tad early?"

Severus snorted in defiance, refusing to break eye contact with his father. "I can't say I can ever resist the opportunity to bring a little misery into your life. Return the favor and all."

Tobias' eyes widened a bit before shaking his head with a scoff. "A little early for your cheek, isn't it, boy? We'll sort that out later. For now, I have a hard day of work to relax from, something you lot could never understand. Sundays are always a chore. Make yourself useful and help your mother fix supper." He shoved past Severus and made for the refrigerator, taking out a cold bottle of beer. Snapping off the bottle cap, he took a quick drink before making his way into the living room. "I'd better smell it before I'm done with this bottle, or there'll be hell to pay!" he called out.

Reflexively, Eileen immediately got up from the kitchen table and quickly made her way to the stove. Her shivering hands made a pitiful attempt to gather pots and pans to get dinner started, but Severus gently grasped them and shook his head. "Go sit down, Mum...I'll take care of this…" he sighed, before drawing his wand.

The woman's eyes widened at the gesture, shaking her head frantically, trying to stop him without alerting Tobias, who had just turned on the television. Severus, on the other hand, just sneered in the direction of the living room and closed his eyes.

His mind was focused on the food from a family restaurant that he remembered in downtown London. He could envision the taste of the food, the beckoning smell, as well as the smiling faces of the Evans family that had brought him there the night before leaving to Hogwarts in his third year. It was one of his happier memories of growing up, being surrounded by Lily, Jasper and Dahlie Evans, as well as plates full of good food that rivaled that of the Hogwarts kitchens. Once Severus was fully immersed in the memory, he flicked his wand. Immediately, a large, carved turkey was summoned to the kitchen table, complete with mashed potatoes, freshly-baked dinner rolls and a bowl full of corn on the cob. It was a dinner unlike anything the Snape household had seen since the family had self-destructed.

"I believe dinner is served…" Severus called out, which led to a confused mumble from Tobias as his reclining chair creaked and he came back to the kitchen.

For a brief moment, the man's eyes lit up in pleasant surprise, but it was only fleeting. It didn't take long for him to understand what had happened, before turning to Severus in anger. "And just what the hell is this?! When I say I want food, I mean real food!"

"That IS real food." Severus said bluntly. "Delivered fresh from London. We can't create food out of thin air, you idiot. If you have a problem with it, I suggest you fend for yourself, as it will be perfectly fine for both me and Mum . It's better than anything YOU could possibly provide for us anyway."

"Severus, please!" Eileen squeaked with all the strength of a mouse, her heart racing as she was unwilling to see her son be hurt again. "It's okay, Tobias, I'll clean this up and fix din-"

"YOU ARROGANT LITTLE SHIT!" Tobias bellowed, slamming his beer down onto the kitchen table before marching menacingly towards Severus, who had his back against the refrigerator. "You've always thought it was funny...haven't you?! Throwing your freaky, godless antics into MY HOUSE!" The man's tan face was starting to turn red as his anger exploded, towering over his son by several inches. "Apparently you've forgotten. I guess fixing that can't wait after all!" he snapped, throwing a hard punch toward Severus with his right hand balled in a tight fist.

A sharp crack was followed by a quick thud and a snap against the refrigerator. Severus had apparated behind Tobias an instant before the punch struck true. Within seconds, the larger man was kneeling on the floor, his voice seething in agony as he looked at his hand, the fingers twisted and contorted. Obviously, several bones had been broken upon impact with the refrigerator door, and it was quickly starting to bruise.

"Does it hurt, Tobias?" Severus whispered coldly, barely audible over the agonizing cries of his father.

"Does it hurt?! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO ME, YOU MONSTER?!"

"Oh, piss off...you did it to yourself, you stupid fool." Severus sighed. "I could mend it, but...I'm afraid that would be a little too...godless of me, wouldn't it?" he asked, a hint of a smile emerging before he reached over the fallen body of Tobias, opening the freezer door. He took out a few ice cubes before wrapping them in a dishrag, tossing the makeshift ice pack to him. "What was it you always used to say to me? It builds character?"

In response to his son's mocking, Tobias brought himself to his feet, a face mixed with rage and pain. His knees were shaking, obviously struggling to keep himself up despite the agony of his injury. "YOU STUPID LITTLE BASTARD! You've broken my hand! I'll lose my job for sure because of this! GET OUT! YOU AND YOUR LITTLE SPIDER OF A MOTHER! GET OUT!"

Before the man could rant anymore, Severus drew his wand, and put it to Tobias' throat, hushing him immediately. The only noise that was audible in the room was the quiet droning of the program on the television in the next room. For a few moments, it seemed as though nobody was willing to speak or move a muscle; the young Slytherin's eyes were obviously struggling against a great amount of rage.

Finally, Severus broke the silence. "Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to break a promise I made to somebody...and cut you up, to torture you in all the ways that you deserve for everything you have done to me and Mum. I have dreamed, for so long, what it would be like to turn the tables on you like this. Every fantasy has ended with you being eviscerated...by a spell I no longer choose to cast.

"Do you know what that's like?!" The steadiness in Severus' voice was beginning to crumble as his anger for Tobias began to surface. "This time...ten years ago...we were actually a family. I couldn't wait for my magic to surface, so my 'beloved' father could be even more proud of me...Can you believe that I once had dreams of seeing you in the stands, cheering for me at a Quidditch game? Back when I foolishly thought you'd give a damn what Quidditch even was..?! You ripped away everything I needed to stand on my own, and for what?! Your pride?! Your zealotry?! YOU, Tobias Snape, stole more from me than ANYONE in this world ever has! Losing a job should be the least of your worries!"

In an instant, Severus' wand was pointed at Tobias' broken hand, and for a fleeting moment, the young man once again felt the urge to break his promise to Lily and sever his father's hand. His voice bellowed one word.

"EPISKEY!"

The unnatural contortion of Tobias' hand quickly shifted as the shattered bones mended and set themselves back into place, though the healing spell did not come without pain. Once again, Tobias' knees buckled and he was sent to the ground, breathing heavily and wincing, but his hand was good as new. He looked back up into Severus' eyes as the pain started to subside. And for the first time, Severus could see an emotion start to take shape in his father's expression that he had never seen before. An emotion that he recognized all too well as the very same one that hundreds of first year students had shown him when he marched into Potions Class.

Fear.

Once more, Severus pointed his wand at Tobias, his teeth clenched as if it were all he could do to hold back any more hostility. "The only one who will be getting out of this house is you. Healing your hand was the last token of goodwill I could ever give you. Go rent a hotel room, keep your bloody job, leave the country, I don't care. You no longer have any right to be here. And if I ever see you again, I promise you this. Today was just a glimpse of how powerless you really are. If you ever tempt fate and try to harass me or my mother again, everything you have ever done to us will be paid back double."

The young wizard flicked his wand towards the staircase, and a luggage trunk flew down to the bottom of the steps. "Take your filthy clothes; I no longer need nor want your secondhand garbage." Another flick, and all of the football memorabilia around the living room flew into the trunk, which obviously had an extension charm put on it in order to hold everything. "Your ridiculous infatuation with muggle sports can leave this house too. Everything of yours can vanish with you. Not because it belongs to you, but because we could do without the reminders."

Once the whirlwind of flying objects was finished piling into the trunk, it snapped shut. Severus motioned his head towards the door, while still keeping his wand trained on the dangerous man.

To his credit, Tobias seemed to maintain his composure despite the magic that was being cast all around him. But once Severus had demanded that he leave, the older man was obviously shaken, looking down at the trunk that his son had packed with a mixture of hostility and fright. He turned a begrudging eye to Eileen, who had remained silent, her hands covering her mouth as she stared at astonishment at her son. Severus had displayed far more skill than an ordinary fifth year student could possess, with all the magic he had just effortlessly performed, and it had been capped off by a startling ability to apparate despite being underage.

"Well, Eileen?! Are you just going to let this little brat talk to me like that, throw me out of MY house?!" Tobias growled, though with none of the scathing tone he possessed earlier. It almost seemed like the man was pleading for mercy.

Tobias' words shook Eileen out of her trance, as she looked down at the kneeling form of her husband with startling clarity forming in her black eyes. "Are you...seriously asking me for some form of clemency, Tobias? Asking me to...put a leash on my son now that you've lost yours? You heard Severus...get out." she hissed, finally free to look at Tobias with all the pain and hatred she'd been forced to hide for years.

* * *

It had taken little time for Tobias to hastily grab his trunk and leave the house, the roar of his car's engine quickly fading into the distance as mother and son both sat down at the kitchen table. Eileen let out a great gasp of relief, a tearful smile gracing her features as she looked proudly at her son.

"You've grown...so incredibly strong, so quickly, Severus...Thank you."

Severus merely gathered a bit of everything onto a plate and handed it to Eileen. "Eat...you can't have been well taken care of, Mum...you need to take back your life, and that starts with a good meal to at least regain some of your old strength."

As Eileen started to eat, she quickened her pace, feeling that unfulfilled appetite beginning to awaken before setting down her utensils. "You eat too, Severus...we both have reason...to celebrate." Her onyx eyes were glittering beautifully with the tears of joy that she was shedding, as she mirrored her son's gesture of filling a plate and handing it to him.

The boy looked into his mother's black eyes with his own, as if he were looking at Eileen Snape for the very first time. He smiled a bit once he started to eat, feeling a great weight lifted off of his shoulders knowing what he had done. He could still remember, vividly, receiving a letter during his sixth year at Hogwarts, despite the twenty years that had passed for him since that fateful day. A letter from the local police department in Cokeworth informing him that Eileen had killed herself. A tear fell down Severus' cheek, feeling an incredible sense of relief that his mother's tragedy had been averted this time around.

**Author's Note: A slightly shorter chapter, but there we go. The big, somewhat anticlimactic showdown between Severus and his abusive father. There was a lot of emotion that I needed to convey in this chapter, and I hope it came across well enough.**

**Regarding Severus, it's obvious there was a maelstrom of anger for everything that Tobias had done, both to himself, and maybe even more importantly, to his mother. The revelation at the end of the chapter is the cherry on top of all of the things he has done so far in this new life.**

**Eileen is another matter entirely. The whole theme of this story so far has been rebirth, both literally and metaphorically, and there isn't a character that I want to convey that with more than Eileen. I want to properly pace and set forth this scenario that leads to her finally getting her life back now that the monster that ruined her life is finally gone. She's going to learn a lot in the coming chapters from her son, and see Severus in ways that she never would have in the original timeline where she tragically sought an end to her suffering.**

**As always, thanks for the response and the feedback, and please, leave those reviews! The more detail, the better I can gauge what my readers want more of! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and hopefully I'll be back soon with another!**


	24. Chapter 23: Goddess

**Author's Note: I own none of the concepts or characters from the Harry Potter universe.**

The piercing sound of the train whistle signified the end of the journey for everyone aboard the Hogwarts Express. As soon as the doors of the train opened, legions of young witches and wizards began pouring out to reunite with their families that had all gathered on the bustling Platform 9 ¾. After a few moments, the trio of Lily, Alice, and Mary managed to get off the train, and were chatting amongst themselves quite happily, as they had for the past hour.

"Now, you both promise you'll come to visit?" Alice asked her younger friends with a smile. "I'd like it very much if I saw you down at Diagon Alley before my training at the Auror office starts."

"For the last time, Alice, of course we will!" Lily laughed. "And once we do, I expect to hear some good news about you and Frank."

"Lily!" Mary elbowed the redheaded witch with a smile, shaking her head. "For the last time, don't try to rush them!"

"Don't rush who?" came the voice of Frank Longbottom, who wrapped his arms lovingly around Alice from behind. The Head Boy and Girl smiled at their fellow Gryffindors, as Alice rubbed along Frank's arm with her left hand. "Don't mean to cut in, ladies, but would it be okay if I took Alice over to my parents? They've been dying to meet her."

"Not at all!" Lily said with a triumphant grin. "You go impress your future in-laws, Alice!" she teased before her eyes widened a bit in realization.

"_Oh Merlin! Dammit, Sev...now I can't even joke with my friends without spoiling their lives completely by accident…Not like it's any real surprise that those two end up together, but...I'd better not slip up anymore."_

Once they said their goodbyes to Alice, Lily and Mary had turned their gaze towards the exit of the platform to try to locate their parents. As they waded through the crowd, however, they came face to face with the Marauders, who were in the midst of of their own farewell.

Lily gazed at James in shock, her mouth agape as she looked at the young man, who flashed her a quick smile. _"He...he doesn't even know. About the war...about...us...about our son, any of it...How COULD he know?! __**I**__ shouldn't know! How is any of...this...going to happen naturally if I'm spending this whole time second guessing how I could ever truly fall for him?!"_

The witch's green eyes finally registered that James' mouth was moving, though everything he had said up to that point was completely unknown to her. "S-sorry...what?"

James blinked and his hazel eyes lost a bit of their confidence as he seemed legitimately hurt that Lily hadn't been listening to him. "Evans, are you alright..? I just asked if it'd be okay to write you, this summer. Keep in touch and all that."

"Me too, Mary-love." Sirius asked the blonde muggleborn girl with a heavy sigh. "This is going to be my first Summer staying with the Potters...I'm sure it'll be a blast, but...I dunno. I'd certainly love to at least become friends again, have something familiar in my life amongst all these changes."

Mary shook her head in annoyance. "I bet you would, calling me that stupid pet-name again, Sirius. Give it up."

James, on the other hand, seemed more insistent and sincere in his request than Sirius was, coming a little closer to Lily and whispering to her just loudly enough for her to hear him despite the noise of the crowd. "I know you're still a bit shaken about that night at the Astronomy Tower. Whatever happened between you and Snape that night, it's obviously done nothing about the nightmares and cold-sweats you wake up to. I overheard you talking to Alice about it last night at the feast...

"Listen, Lily, I know I've been a bit of an ass these last couple of weeks, but I really have tried to tone it down a bit after that night. And if you need someone to write to about any of it, just to vent, I'd be happy to help…"

Lily was taken aback by the uncharacteristically gentle approach James had given, and for a moment, considered his offer. After a few seconds, she could see the pleading expression on his face before sighing. "Thank you for the gesture, James...but honestly, I think I'd rather deal with this myself this summer. I don't...know you well enough that I really feel comfortable with that kind of a conversation, and you don't know me well enough either. If you really mean it, then maybe, once summer is over, we can get a little bit more acquainted...assuming you're willing to stop antagonizing my best friend."

The eyes of the young Gryffindor boy turned downwards with a hint of sadness, but he nodded in understanding nonetheless.

* * *

"Lily? Mind telling me what was with the long silence and giving James that intense stare?" Mary asked as they made their way through the sea of students. "It looked like you'd seen a ghost, and not the Hogwarts kind…"

"I was NOT staring at James!" Lily huffed with annoyance. "I just...was thinking about something."

"Looking at James Potter like that? Lil', listen to me. You have been all over the place these last couple of weeks, and to some degree, I can understand that, between what happened with Rosier and the Astronomy Tower. But you need to figure out what it is that you want. You can't keep going in one direction and then shift to another. For MONTHS, every time you'd talk about James, you'd have a little hint of a blush that Alice and I would tease you for. And then, suddenly, it's like Severus changes your views. I started seeing something that was a bit deeper and more meaningful than just physical attraction. Like something that was lost a long time ago was found…"

"Sev is my FRIEND, Mary!" Lily snapped with a sharp glare.

"But it's obvious he's completely in love with you, wouldn't you agree?" Mary prodded back, equally annoyed.

"Yes, but it doesn't matter!" Lily yelled, frustrated that Mary didn't understand the complexity of the situation. "He's...so damaged and stunted emotionally that even if I did see him that way, I'm the last thing on Earth that would be able to help him. Severus doesn't need me...if anything, what he truly needs is less of me. That's the only way he's going to be able to stand on his own. Do things for his own reasons, for his own enjoyment, not because 'It's what Lily would want'."

Lily's eyes had started to water as she recalled the memories and visions of her beloved friend's tortured life. "So much of this...is my fault. Being so conditional with our friendship, putting rules in front of him as if I were embarrassed as to who my friend was. As if he owed me something...when he is what brought me into this magical world in the first place. I was the one who owed him. He gave me an identity, and I took away his."

The redheaded witch had let go of the two trunks she was holding, her hands nervously touching the green vial in the center of the necklace she had worn. Her thumb gently passed over the fading initials, LE + SS. "I'm done being some...goddess to him. Some figure that's his only beacon of light in a sea of darkness...That's not who I am. I'm just Lily."

Mary remained silent through her friend's venting, her accusatory gaze softening when she could see that Lily was tearing herself up over whatever it was that Severus had told her. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come across like I was trying to steer your heart one way or another. Let's not talk about boys or anything romance-related when we write this summer, alright?"

Lily dried her tears and nodded, pulling Mary into a hug. "Alright. Now...let's go find our parents."

* * *

Several hours had passed since Severus had evicted Tobias from the house at Spinner's End. In that short time, he had somehow managed the feat of hours of small talk with his mother. The normally private man-turned-boy seemed to be a well that had opened up, talking with Eileen while effortlessly doing his part to perform all manner of cleaning and scouring charms to rid their home of years of disrepair. It was therapeutic to Severus, speaking without the mask of Occlumency had been difficult at first, but he was able to fight back against it by casting spells as a way to outwardly vent the torrent of emotion bubbling beneath the surface.

"-so I haven't had to deal with them much since I healed their friend from Rosier's attack. With any luck, that'll be the last I have to see of James Potter in any substantial capacity."

"Severus, I'm only going to ask this once." Eileen interrupted as she watched her son directing a line of suds along the brown carpet. "I was never this good, even after I graduated. The spells you're casting, they all would have taken me some concentration even in my prime...and that's not even getting into the fact that you know how to apparate at 16. I've...never had the opportunity to really teach you any of this. Where did you learn it all from?"

The boy immediately answered. "I can't really explain it in a way that would make sense, even to myself...It just comes easy to me."

"And learning to apparate? Is that something you just randomly learned how to do without splinching yourself?" Eileen asked with a skeptical eyebrow raised.

"Lucius ran me through a great deal of practice when I last stayed at Malfoy Manor. I believe he said it was a gift for my 'consideration to join the cause'." he hastily said, trying to lie in order to evade the subject of his advanced skill.

"And you promise me that you aren't, anymore? Joining the movement, that is." Eileen whispered with obvious concern in her voice.

"Not ever, Mum. I promise." Severus admitted, full of sincerity. "That path...was going to make me lose everything. My career path would have been in shambles, nobody would hire a confirmed Death Eater."

"That wouldn't be the case if it was the winning side." Eileen suggested.

"But it's not the winning side. It will falter and collapse; of that I am certain. And even if it didn't, and if I were safely a part of the new order...I would lose everyone important to me. Lily, a few of my new...friends. And you, too, Mum. I know you never supported that garbage, and it would have broken your heart to see me part of it."

Eileen pulled her son into a hug at the integrity of his answer. "I'm so proud of you...my little Prince."

The tender moment between mother and son was interrupted by a knock at the door, causing both Eileen and Severus to turn to one another in surprise. The boy made his way towards the door before being pulled back by Eileen. "I'll answer it, Severus. If it's the Ministry, I should explain what happened so you don't get expelled. Magic hasn't been cast in this house in over a decade, so I'm sure it raised some flags."

"But what if it's Tobias?!" Severus asked, before being hushed by the witch.

"Trust me, Severus. He won't be coming back." The witch said with a confident smile. "You took away all the power that Tobias has ever had."

After a moment's hesitation, Severus nodded, turning back to the living room and continuing his cleaning where he left off as Eileen answered the door.

"Oh my!" Eileen's expression was overcome with joy once she opened the door to see who it was. "Lily! What a wonderful surprise!" She reached forward to hug the muggleborn witch, who had walked up to the door with her parents waiting in the car behind her.

"Hi, Mrs. Snape!" Lily smiled as she returned the hug, albeit a bit perplexed at how lively Eileen seemed to be. The last time she had seen her, the woman seemed incredibly subdued, and now that she knew what had gone on inside the house, she understood all the better. "Um, have you seen Severus? He disappeared while we were on the train, and left his trunk in an empty compartment. I wanted to make sure that he got it back."

"Of course you did, dear. To answer your question, yes, he's here. Would you like to come in for a few minutes?"

"Oh…" Lily's gaze faltered, looking past Eileen and saw her friend, who had gone deathly still from whatever it was he was doing. It hurt her to see his back turned away from her. "I'm not sure that would be for the best right now. I just wanted to return his things."

"Don't be silly." Eileen reassured her. "Is your Mum in the car? I haven't talked to Dahlie in so long...does she still tend to that lovely rose garden at your house?"

Lily nodded, confused at the direction the conversation was going.

"I've given it some thought, and I'll be honest; this tired home needs a few things to make it a bit more welcoming for guests. Spinner's End is plenty unpleasant as it is. Come inside for a few moments, dear. I'd like to talk to your Mum for a bit and catch up. You all aren't in a rush, are you?"

"I-I guess I could come in for a moment…" Lily sighed in defeat, taking a step inside, looking back for a moment as Eileen exited the house to chat with her parents, before closing the door behind her.

Lily had never stepped into the Snape household before, mostly on account of the fact that Severus never wanted her to see the conditions he had to live with. But as she looked around, she couldn't shake the feeling that something very good happened earlier to cause Eileen's sudden spike in enthusiasm. Probably the same reason why it looked like Severus was doing some massive clean-up work.

As Lily took another step forward, Severus spoke softly, his back still turned to her. "You can just leave the trunk by the stairs...thank you for bringing it here." His posture was slackened, and even though Lily couldn't see his face, she could already envision the shame that was etched upon it.

Obliging his request, the Gryffindor girl wheeled the large trunk to the base of the staircase before continuing to approach Severus, reaching out with a hand to rest it upon his shoulder. "Sev...look at me, please?"

All that he could respond with was a quick shake of his head, trying his best to maintain his composure, but just like it had on the train, the dam broke. Severus started to feel that crushing feeling of emotion again as his choking voice began to speak barely above a whisper. "You were right...there were hundreds of reasons why I should have wanted to come back, but almost none of it was on my mind when I was given the choice. Not Hogwarts, not Dumbledore, not to stop Voldemort, not to save the thousands of people that he and the Death Eaters hurt, and not even to save my mother…"

"I know." Lily whimpered, the emotional weight of Severus' words causing her to tear up again as she rubbed along his shoulder. "But none of that makes you a bad person, Sev. It doesn't matter what your reasons are for doing the right thing and learning from your mistakes. And...judging from how wonderfully upbeat your Mum is acting...I don't think the importance of all of that stuff has remained lost on you. You stood up to your father, didn't you?"

Severus nodded, still unwilling to face Lily and let her see the weakness written in his face, until he felt a gentle tug as his face was pulled towards her, and he could see an equal amount of emotion swimming in her gaze. "That's good...it was something both you and your Mum needed, and it wasn't even something that I asked of you…"

"Lily?" Severus asked, confused by what she meant.

"Listen, Sev...I'm so sorry...for everything I had ever pressured you to do, for giving you the impression that you would lose me for not conforming to my standards...you're worth so much more than that, and that's obvious from everything you told and showed me...The amount of pain that you endured in your life...after the other me died...it's more than anyone should ever have to bear. And you did it...for nearly twenty years…"

Severus looked as though he was about to respond to Lily's words, but she gently put a fingertip to his lips. "Please, Sev. Let me finish. When I say 'the other me', I mean just that. That Lily...she's not who I am. You didn't call me...you know...that day at the lake. You saved me from a fall that I still have nightmares about, something I know she didn't experience. All the things that happened to her...that you continue to guilt yourself over, they haven't happened to me, nor will they.

"I don't want to be some...holy symbol that you live your life by. If you do something...I would hope that it's because you want to do it, that you believe it's truly the right thing to do, not because it's something that I would want. Nobody should have to live their life shackled by the virtues of someone else...they should find their own virtues for themselves, their own rules to set the paths of their lives.

"Whatever you choose to do with the rest of your life, Sev...just remember that it's YOUR LIFE. And you need to recognize how precious that is...please don't treat it like it's some expendable existence of misery that you can't wait for a release from. Because even if you don't believe it...plenty of people would miss you if you were to vanish from this life as well. They would hurt...just as much as you did when the other Lily vanished from yours."

Severus was left speechless at Lily's words, looking into her green eyes and seeing the conviction that she spoke with. And in the eternity of silence that seemed to follow, Lily's hand gently slid down his shoulder and to his back, pulling him tightly into a hug. He felt the wetness of the tears on her face as she began sobbing. For the first time in his life, Severus' mind was an empty canvas that wasn't plagued by a maelstrom of thoughts haunting him from his other life. His entire being was in the moment, returning her embrace with equal fervor.

"Thank you...so much, Lily…"

**Author's Note: Quick mention, I WILL be doing a formal introduction to Jasper and Dahlie Evans in a future chapter. The only reason it didn't happen in this chapter is because I like each of my chapters to be focused on one key point, and not to jumble things together all at once. In this chapter's case, I wanted to focus it mainly on Lily's perspective, and how her thoughts and reaction to everything she learned from Severus took shape over the course of her journey back to Cokeworth.**

**Thanks very much for reading, I hope you enjoyed, and please, let me know what you thought of the chapter! Reviews DO help shape the details of this story, and the more detailed they are, the better! I hope to have the next one out for you guys soon!**


	25. Chapter 24: Day at the Park

**Disclaimer: I own no rights to characters or concepts from the Harry Potter universe. No profit was made during the writing of this story.**

Two days had passed since Severus and Lily arrived back in Cokeworth for the summer holiday. For Severus, the talk with Lily had been the ultimate healing experience. In his previous life, he had no true confidant to confess anything to, save perhaps Dumbledore, though there was always an emotional disconnect between the old headmaster and himself. With Lily, however, he was certain of everything the young witch had said that night, that he could truly be open and honest with her. It had a curious effect on the reborn Slytherin, to truly be free to speak whatever came to mind, to not worry about keeping certain things secret was something he had never been able to do in his entire adult life.

Once Eileen had come back inside from her chat with the Evans family, they both agreed that they would meet at their spot under the tree facing the shallow river. The very same tree that stood near the park where they first met. As a community, Cokeworth was very much separated by the river. The new neighborhood with brightly colored, brand new houses was on Lily's side of town. Whereas on Severus' side, it was very much an old, dilapidated series of identical houses for several streets. On the dividing line was the park, which made it a convenient place for the two young Hogwarts students to meet.

Tuesday afternoon arrived, and Severus sat down under the shade of the tree. He blended in rather well, with a simple gray T-shirt and black pants, both transfigured from the unfashionable, much-too-large rags that Tobias had thrown his way over the years. Even when dressed in ordinary clothes that actually fit him, Severus favored monochromatic colors.

It had been many years since Severus visited this location, not counting the imitation in the Room of Requirement. Too many scarred memories of the past meant that it wasn't a place he could find any comfort in during his adult life. Now, however, the young man was able to scan the area with a newfound peace. He saw the swingset that Lily had flown off of when he first saw her, and recalling that memory left a thin smile on his lips.

"Now THAT is a sight worthy of the front page of the Daily Prophet. Severus Snape smiles on his own!"

Severus turned his head to the side, and was immediately dumbfounded at the sight of Lily. Her flowing hair was decorated with a pair of braided pigtails. She wore a light green summer dress which was a vibrant compliment to her red hair, and white, platform sandals. Still hanging around her neck was the bright vial of green liquid. Seeing Lily dressed in her casual style left his cheeks slightly tinged red, before he turned back away from her gaze.

"Forgive me. I've been cursing these silly teenage hormones ever since I woke up that day at the lake."

The soft sound of the grass crunching told Severus that Lily had taken a seat next to him, though he didn't want to embarrass either of them by staring at her.

"If that was supposed to be a compliment on how I look, it was the saddest attempt I've ever heard, Severus." Lily teased. "I dunno how I'm supposed to take it...honestly, I'm not even sure how old I should consider you. Your body is my age, but your mind's 38, should I be calling you Mr. Snape?"

"Call me whatever you wish. It's bound to be better than Professor Snape." Severus snorted, shaking his head.

Lily's eyes widened, her mouth agape. "No way...you?! A teacher at Hogwarts?!"

The silence that hung after Lily's question seemed to serve as answer enough, and within seconds, she fell backwards onto the grass, giggling uncontrollably. "Oh, Merlin! Those poor first years! The moment they realized what they were in for when they first entered your class! Sev, tell me, and be honest, just how terrified of you were the poor things?"

"I did what I had to do to promote a no-nonsense style, even more than McGonagall. Potions have plenty of risks; if they didn't follow my instructions to the letter, then the whole classroom could've been blown up." Severus sighed, waving off Lily's bubbly attempt to poke fun at him.

After a few moments of continued laughter, Lily finally managed to regain her composure and sat back up. "Wait...Potions? I guess that makes sense that you'd be qualified for that, but...what happened to Professor Slughorn?"

"Retired just about the time that I started. Potions actually wasn't my first choice, that went to Defense. Though looking at the slew of teachers we had over the years, I suppose I should have thanked Dumbledore for that." Severus added, recalling the supposedly cursed teaching post of Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"It still doesn't make any sense though. I know you have the ability; I saw it with Mary. But you're far too impatient with most other people to make even a half-decent teacher." Lily folded her arms and looked at Severus somewhat accusingly. "Why would you ever want to become a Hogwarts Professor?"

"I didn't want to. It was the only avenue Dumbledore offered me while still being able to keep an eye on me. He wasn't certain of my change of heart until…the day you died."

"The other me." Lily corrected, looking at Severus softly. "Remember, Sev...everything is different now. And that starts with the fact that you don't need to spy or teach anymore. Technically speaking, I suppose you don't have to go back to Hogwarts either...you're plenty qualified to graduate early."

"That isn't an option." Severus shook his head dismissively. "Even if I'm not a spy in this life, I still have to keep up appearances. I've already raised enough red flags as it is, taking N.E.W.T.s early would only give the Death Eaters another reason to come knocking. I can't fight them until I'm absolutely certain of what needs to be done to end this war before it comes to a head. Not to mention...I'm none too keen on the idea of leaving you alone at Hogwarts after the night at the Astronomy Tower."

Lily nodded her head, though the mention of the attempt on her life caused goosebumps to form on her arms, and Severus could hear a slight shiver from her.

"Still having the nightmares?" he asked, huddling a little closer and wrapping an arm around her. Lily didn't give an audible response, only a slight mumble and eventually a nod. "It's not easy...the first time someone tries to kill you."

"It's not even that…" Lily shuddered, leaning a little more closely to Severus, her head resting gently on his shoulder. "I don't have nightmares about the time Rosier tortured me. I suppose it's the fact that I don't even know who did it. The fact that Polyjuice Potion was involved...it could be anybody in Slytherin. They might have graduated, but for some reason I doubt it. Any Slytherin I see, besides you, I'll have to wonder whether they're going to try to kill me, or if they just came to insult the unworthy Muggleborn-."

"You're plenty worthy." Severus interrupted. "That's why I'm going back. None of them are going to hurt you. That, and I need to talk to Dumbledore again."

"Again? Didn't he answer the question you had about your magic? You've been casting quite regularly since talking to him...have you had some problems since coming home?"

Severus was silent for a few seconds, trying to find a way to explain the nature of how his magic was functioning since his rebirth. After another moment of Lily's questioning gaze, he stood up, leaving her more bewildered. He decided it would make an easier explanation if he showed her.

"Sev? Where are you...wha?!" She was taken completely off guard when Severus quickly removed his gray t-shirt, exposing his body. It wasn't a sickly pale, but it was definitely not a warm skin tone. More pressing to Lily, however, was the sight of the numerous scars and wounds all over his flesh.

"N-no...please...don't tell me that your father did all of this to you…" Lily gasped, slowly rising up to her feet to meet Severus, though her request was more rhetorical than anything. She knew full-well everything Tobias had done, having witnessed the memories. The young witch was unable to stop herself from reaching out and gently touching the worst scar, the one just below his shoulder. "That's not an ordinary cut…What did that monster do, whip you like an animal..?!"

Severus, on the other hand, was starting to feel uncomfortable. It had not been his intent to have Lily feeling sorry for him, and it was complicated further by the cool touch of her soft hand on his chest. It was a touch more tender than any of his boyhood fantasies could fathom, but he brushed it off quickly. "Lily, focus. Not on the scars, but on this." He took her hand and gently placed it right below his heart...highlighting the mysterious Mark of Apeiron.

"What...in Merlin's name is that supposed to be?! Some kind of...tattoo, or rune?"

"This is the key to all of the problems I've been having since I was reborn. It's a bit of a long story, though…"

* * *

For nearly an hour, Severus told Lily everything he knew about the mark: its history as told to him by Professor Babbling, the effects it was having on him, and the obvious truth that Dumbledore knew more than he had let on about it. Lily had been silent during his entire explanation, content to let Severus tell her the fascinating tale of the ancient wizard. He also explained to her of his talent and reliance on Occlumency, which was met with an annoyed, albeit worried expression on her face when she fully understood what it was.

Once he was finished, he finally turned away, looking towards the playground. "It's almost like my emotions are dictating the magic. Sometimes I can only steer it certain directions if the bloody feelings overwhelm me, like the incident with Avery and the time I apparated out of the train. Sometimes I can actually control it completely if I focus without my Occlumency, but it requires certain triggers...things or people that I feel strongly about. The night I flew and caught you was probably the best example. But it's not like it was before I died, when I had complete control over my abilities, and until I find a way to get this mark off, I'm not certain I'll be able to reliably win a duel with a Death Eater…So you see, I rather need to have Dumbledore to take it off, or find out how to myself."

Lily had been looking at the mark on his bare chest for quite some time, obviously thinking very carefully as Severus explained himself. "Have you considered the fact that your emotion isn't a weakness, Sev? The day at the lake...sure, you were angry, but you completely let loose. You could have outclassed anybody that day, not just Rosier. Why are you so eager to get rid of the mark? Why not just learn more about how it affects you and surpass your old limits? Don't shut out your emotions so much."

"You're missing the point. If I let my emotions rule me, and dictate my abilities, then I'm at their mercy. I could cast spells completely by accident during times that don't call for magic. I could be in a duel, but what if my emotions aren't particularly intense at the moment? I'm the one who will be outclassed. That isn't something that either of us can afford."

Lily just shook her head, the giggle from earlier returning. "If anyone is missing the point, it's you, Sev. I'm not asking you to let your emotions rule you, to let your magic be some out-of-control force of nature that comes and goes. I'm saying that you should master them. Going back to the way you were able to handle life before, shut behind some walls in your mind, is not going to help you grow as a person. If Dumbledore IS the one who gave you this mark, and it somehow carried over from the afterlife to here, then maybe it was his way of teaching you something one last time."

After a few moments of considering Lily's words, the young Severus chuckled quietly. "You've always been one to look for brightness in even the worst situations. I'm amazed that all of this talk of how bleak the future is going to be hasn't ripped that out of you yet."

Lily puffed her cheeks, making her best attempt at imitating Severus' trademark scowl. "Ten points from Slytherin for your dunderheaded remark. How sorry it is for such a talent to languish in his own quagmire of self-pity and doubt. My apologies, I misspoke. Make that twenty points from Slytherin. Just for the girly design of that tattoo you've got. Pray that I don't curse it off." Her voice was a humorous attempt at his slow, deliberate speech pattern, several octaves lower, until she burst into a fit of laughter, unable to keep her composure anymore..

The girl's silliness was contagious, and Severus' thin smile actually started to widen, and within moments, he was laughing alongside her. The sight was enough to make Lily stop and look at him with wonder in her eyes. Truthfully, she couldn't remember the last time she had ever seen Severus laugh with any carefree sincerity. It was always a sarcastic snort or chuckle, but seeing him like this was a first for her.

Once Lily stopped laughing, Severus silenced himself, looking at her with a curious expression.

"Whatever it was you just felt, Sev...embrace it. Learn to call upon it, and all of your other strong emotions. Kind of like a Patronus. Can you cast one of those? A real one, I mean."

"I can." Severus answered simply, recalling the silver doe the last time he had seen her. From time to time, in the final days of his previous life, he had summoned her just to look into her ethereal eyes, needing that to muster the strength to continue his mission.

"Good, so you're already familiar with the idea...you just need to do it all the time when you try to cast, not just with a Patronus. What was yours? A dragon? Bat? A raven, perhaps?" she questioned excitedly.

He shook his head, pulling his shirt back over his body. "That, Lily, is one secret that I don't plan on telling you. I would prefer to show you, when the time comes."

"That's a deal!" She nodded with a grin. "Maybe if I see you cast one...it might help push mine in the right direction to become a real Patronus as well."

"You seem to have a rather vivid idea of how all of Apeiron's magic works, despite the man being dead for some two thousand years. How can you have confidence in any of what you're telling me, Lily?"

"I don't need to have confidence in him. You, Sev, are what I believe in. From the moment you caught me that night...and flew in the sky like nobody wizardkind has ever seen, that was the day I realized that you could do anything."

Severus cut in to Lily's praise, needing to confess the truth of his ability to fly. "Lily...I don't think you want to know where I learned that spell from. I didn't invent it, though technically speaking I believe I'm the only one in this time period that knows it."

"I don't care where you learned it anymore, Severus. Honestly, I think I can fathom a guess...but here's the thing. I'm in no position to tell you how to act or what to do with the talents you've built up. That much is obvious now that I know the truth about you. The most important thing is how you choose to use it, and every other talent you have gained, and like I said. I believe in you…"

That endearing remark had an immediate effect on Severus, causing his blushing to return just as intensely as before. "You really should choose your words more carefully around me. If I can't use occlumency to block out these stupid thoughts, then I surely don't need you encouraging them, whether you intend to or not. Dumbledore was right. Someone like me in the body of a teenager...it'd be amusing if it weren't so pathetic."

Lily's gaze sharpened for a moment, remembering her conversation with Mary on the platform earlier in the week. She also recalled the memory with Severus shared with her, the one with Dumbledore, and the words the old wizard used to answer all of the remaining questions Lily had about her friend's feelings. With a dismissive shake of her head, she released Severus from the eye contact and looked at the old swing set fondly.

"You may have 38 years of experience in life, but you still have the emotional stability of a teenager. That's been clear ever since you told me the truth on the train. So no. I don't think I will call you Mr. Snape, Sir, Professor, or any other silly name. You're just going to stay Sev to me…my dearest, 16-year old Slytherin friend. Shed your old skin, Sev...and grow into a real man, with me by your side this time around.

"Which brings me to my next question. Mum and Dad have asked about you constantly ever since we got back...Do you and your Mum have any plans tonight, or would you like to come over for dinner?"

"Actually, I took her to London this morning. I scrounged up enough money from my school funds for her to stay at the Leaky Cauldron for a few nights, since she's been insisting about finding a job in Diagon Alley. Mum really wants to get back in touch with the magical world after all these years."

"That's great! But...does that mean you're staying at your house alone?"

Lily's question was met with an immediate nod of Severus' head. He had an idea of where this was going.

"That won't do at all...Why don't you come over and stay after dinner? I know my parents would love to see you, and wouldn't mind putting you up for the night."

**Author's Note: Some more of the big talk that Sev and Lily had over his previous life. Much more relaxed and pleasant in nature than the first one, which was a nice relief because I was afraid my writing style was making it turn into some kind of angst story. Next chapter will feature the formal introduction to Jasper and Dahlie Evans!**

**Regarding the Severus/Lily pairing and how most time travel fanfictions handle it, I kind of wanted to touch on the element of age difference, and how in this case, Lily justifies it to herself, more for simplicity and convenience sake, that even though he's lived longer, there are still a great many pieces of Severus that need to grow up properly. So, while this is not an actual start to any romantic relationship, (I'm still trying to keep some mystery and tension for the future with regards to pairings! Sorry folks!) it opens the door in such a way that I feel isn't so creepy or odd with over 20 years of an age gap, even if he's in his teenage body again.**

**Please, please, PLEASE keep those reviews coming! The most detailed reviews are the ones that put the biggest smiles on my face and make the hours of writing worth it for me, so if you have something you wish to discuss or ponder in your review, please do so!**

**I never really got the opportunity to celebrate the one-year anniversary of when I started writing this series, but with 420 followers and 270 favorites, and nearly 70k reads, I'm very happy at how you all have received it! Thanks again, write your reviews, and I hope to get the next chapter up for you all soon!**


	26. Chapter 25: The Evans Family

**Disclaimer: As always, I own none of the characters or ideas of the Harry Potter universe.**

All throughout the walk to Lily's house, Severus could feel a strange sensation swelling in his stomach. He had been unable to talk Lily out of her invitation to stay with her family for the night, and it was causing a surprisingly nervous feeling to creep into his head.

"Seventeen years convincing the Dark Lord that I was fully devoted to his cause, but I still can't find a way to say no to you. These past two weeks have certainly made me feel as helpless as a child, Lily."

The redheaded witch had been walking alongside Severus on their way to her home, and hearing his frustrations caused her giggling from earlier to return. "Honestly, Sev, if you gave a good reason as to why I can't have you over for supper, then maybe I would have listened to you."

"I can think of one, very prickly reason why…" he said with a snort.

"You can deal with Tuney one night. I have to put up with her all Summer long." She let out a sigh before turning to him, a glint of curiosity in her eyes. "Do...do she and I ever go back to the way things were before my magic started to develop..? Like real sisters, I mean...not this giant wall between us."

"Honestly, I don't know." He muttered, shaking his head. "This is all uncharted territory for me...you and I never spoke again, remember?"

"For the last time, Sev...just call her the other me." Lily huffed. "I don't like hearing about that scenario…where my life would be if I made that mistake here."

This prompted something that Lily hadn't expected. Severus himself began to start laughing again, not as strongly as before in the park, but certainly more than his trademark sarcasm.

"And what exactly do you find so funny, Professor?" she asked with a teasing tone.

"How about the absurdity that you're asking me to not confuse you with the other Lily, but in the very last breath, asking if things ever work out between you and your sister. If I've learned anything from my time here so far, it's that we're all in charge of our own destinies. If you really, truly want to be civil with Petunia again, you're going to have to put in the work for yourself instead of wondering where the chips fall in a completely different time."

"I just want to know if I'm wasting my time trying…" Lily frowned, as she tilted her head downward to her feet. "You have no idea just how resistant Petunia is to the idea that I might not be as terrible as she thinks I am…"

"Actually…" Severus groaned. "I know that feeling all too well. In every chapter of my previous life…"

They spent the rest of their walk to Lily's house in silence, the young witch's lips quivering at the implications of what her best friend just said.

* * *

Upon arriving at the Evans household, both Hogwarts students were greeted by the smiling face of Lily's mother. "Severus! Mein Schatz! How wonderful to see you!" It wasn't long before the Slytherin boy was pulled into a loving hug by the blonde woman.

It had been decades since Severus heard that telltale greeting from the cheerful voice of Dahlie Evans, but even after so long, he gave a small, almost shy smile to the middle-aged housewife. "It's good to see you too, Mrs. Evans. It's been...well, entirely too long."

And it had been. Due to the fact that he hadn't kept in touch with Lily following his fifth year at Hogwarts, he had not seen the almost perfect couple, Jasper and Dahlie Evans, in over twenty years. He had assumed that they both had passed away before Lily had, given the fact that Harry had been sent to live with his far-less pleasant aunt.

It was amazing to Severus, for as much as he kept to himself, what the family had been able to bring out of him during the time he had known them. Where he seldom bothered to concern himself with other people, he was almost greedy, hungry for information about the family, to at least get an idea of what they had that his parents lacked. And every time they had invited him over or to come along to a local restaurant as an unofficial, fifth member of their family, he would always try to find out something new about them. From there, he slowly pieced together their story.

Jasper Evans was an accomplished writer of children's fiction, winning numerous awards during his career. Born in Manchester, it was Jasper who passed on his striking red hair and green, almond-shaped eyes to his daughter, Lily. A man with an absolutely saintly temper, Jasper was not blessed with such a peaceful start to his adult life. At 18 years old, he heeded his country's call and joined the British Second Army. Little did he know that it would result in the key to his happiness.

Dahlie was a German woman who met Jasper during his time serving in World War II. Both of them were very young, but the love that bloomed between them, despite being citizens of two opposing sides during the great war, was a true example of a battlefield miracle, and regardless of both of them being Muggles, their tale was almost magical in itself. Once the war was over, Jasper returned to England, a hero, with a brand new wife at his side.

Dahlie's accent had grown incredibly diluted, almost undetectable during the time that she had spent in England since then, and she took to her new life quite well. Still, Dahlie was proud of her heritage, and would bestow a German word to some of her most favorite people as a sign of love. Sev's word was simply Schatz, or darling, as in many ways he had been the son that she and Jasper never had.

"Mum-" Lily interjected, looking at her mother pleadingly. "Sev's mother is in London for a couple of days, would it be alright if-"

"Say no more, darling! Dahlie beamed. "It'd be a good time to catch up. Your father's busy in his office at the moment, but I'm working on supper. Hungry, Severus?" she asked, patting his shoulder.

"Oooh! Mum's making Toad-in-the-Hole, but guess what, Sev? I helped her with something earlier...we've got dessert tonight too!"

Almost as if on cue, Severus' stomach started to growl and a hunger spread in his eyes. Dessert with Dahlie meant one thing. A chocolate torte with cherry filling which was absolutely to die for. Even now, over 20 years later, he recalled how delicious her recipe was. Whatever prideful reservations he had about joining them for the evening immediately vanished.

"I'd be honored."

* * *

"So, Severus." Jasper piped up, wiping his mouth politely. "Lily wrote us a week ago and said that you had a nasty fall during a scuffle at school. Is everything alright upstairs?"

"Doubtful." Petunia scoffed. She had been seated between her parents, whilst Lily was next to her best friend at the circular dinner table. "Things have to be wrong in the head to even develop that freakish ailment in the first place."

Jasper shook his head with a sigh, ignoring his daughter's first rude comment of the day. To his credit, Severus seemed to ignore it as well.

"I was given a clean bill of health when I got out of the Hospital Wing. Thankfully I managed to skate by anything serious and long-lasting."

Lily set her hand on Severus' shoulder, causing him to tense up a bit with nervousness. Either she didn't notice, or simply chose not to pay it any mind.

"Sev's pride was more damaged than anything. He got injured by someone who's been chasing after me for quite some time."

"Is this that Potter boy you've been fawning over in your letters?" Petunia asked, looking in Severus' direction, a slight smirk on her lips.

"Tuney!" Lily shouted. "I have NOT been fawning over that arrogant slimeball! He always has to make a show when I'm around."

"And yet why does it seem like you enjoy that? You've always revelled in the attention others give you." the older sister hissed, turning her glare from Severus to Lily, rising from her seat..

"What would I have to enjoy about the fact that Potter hurt my best friend?! If Sev had landed any worse, he might have been killed!" Lily spat back, getting up from her seat as well.

"It's obvious, isn't it?" Petunia looked back at Severus, hoping to drive the knife in a little deeper. "It's not enough that you have this boy from the slums orbiting around you. You do whatever you can to use him to get what you really want, and that's the Potter boy's attention.

"LILY! PETUNIA! Sit down, meine blumen!" Dahlie pleaded with her daughters. After a few moments, Lily returned to her seat, but Petunia remained standing, her blonde ponytail draped over her shoulder.

"I'd like to be excused." She announced, although it seemed to be more of a statement than a request, as she already left her spot at the table and marched towards the family room, and eventually made loud, thumping footsteps to her room upstairs.

Jasper had said nothing throughout the sisters' usual bickering, instead seeming rather interested in the look on the face of their guest. Severus seemed stung at the mention of James Potter, and appeared to sink into his chair a bit with Petunia's implication that Lily had been raving about him.

The dinner that had started quite pleasantly finished with everyone in the room eating in a tense silence.

* * *

"What?! You're leaving?!" Lily pouted. "Why? You don't need to stay at Spinner's End alone, Sev!"

"I think my presence has triggered enough hostility from your sister for now…" Severus muttered with a frown.

"That's rubbish and you know it!" the young witch argued, her eyes gleaming with a soft tenderness.

"Is it? Weren't you the one who said you wanted things to get better with your sister? That isn't going to happen as easily while I'm here."

"It's not going to happen at all until she has the courage to actually vent whatever her problem is!" she snapped, looking to the staircase with a vindictive look in her eyes. "And it sure isn't going to happen overnight, whether you leave or not."

"Lily." Jasper finally interjected. "If Severus wishes to leave, he can." He turned his green eyes to the younger boy. "I'm glad that things are finally improving at Spinner's End, but this is your second home. You're always welcome in this house, Sev."

"Always, Mein Schatz." Dahlie nodded with a smile.

Severus turned to her parents apologetically. "Thank you for the lovely meal, Mr. and Mrs. Evans. Dahlie...your torte was the best I've had yet."

Lily interrupted his farewell by giving him a sudden hug, her eyes glistening with unshed tears of disappointment. "Talk to me soon...please? We still have so much catching up to do…" she whispered, alluding to the rest of the things they needed to talk about regarding his previous life.

"Certainly." he nodded, turning to leave, but looked up at Jasper, who seemed to be impeding his progress.

"Severus...before you go, could I trouble you for a moment alone?"

* * *

Once the two men walked out the front door, Jasper looked down at Severus. "Please, don't let whatever Petunia said make you feel uneasy."

"Uneasy about what, sir?"

The older man chuckled lightheartedly. "You and I both know what, Severus. Don't act dumb with me when we both know you aren't."

"Honestly, Jasper, I have no idea what you're talking about." Sev said coolly, trying to avoid speaking about the subject anymore. He desperately wanted to use Occlumency right now...

"You and Lily." he sighed, refusing to budge. "You don't think I see it? The look in your eyes, the raw happiness you show whenever you're around her. The pain you tried to hide, quite poorly might I add, when Petunia brought up the subject of the other boy at school. Just because you're a wizard, don't think it doesn't show in your body language."

"Sir, Lily is my friend."

"Sev, please stop calling me Sir. We've known you for years, I would think that you could let yourself be more at ease with us." Jasper smiled, resting his hand on Severus' shoulder. "Just tell me what I already know. Yes or no, do you have feelings for my daughter?"

"I'm afraid not, sir. I think Petunia could be a lovely girl with the right man, but I'm sorry to say that's not me." Sev brushed the question off with a joke.

Jasper broke into laughter before nodding his head. "Right then. So. You and Lily. That's what you want, the question is what are you planning to do about it?"

"What makes you so sure that's what I want?" Severus asked with a questioning gaze.

"Oh? Am I wrong about how you feel?"

"No...I...Lily is very special to me, yes…" he admitted, turning his gaze downward. "But whether or not I feel that way has no bearing on if I would want to be with her."

"That may be the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say, Severus. Either you're lying to me or to yourself."

"Jasper, trust me, the situation is more complicated than you could fathom." Severus shuddered, turning his eyes to the sunset on the horizon. "Lily...is better off without me. She should be happy, taken care of, and I don't think that's something I could give to her in the way she deserves."

Jasper seemed astounded at the way Severus spoke and conveyed his thoughts. Either he had grown up incredibly quickly this past year, or a new streak of adult maturity seemed to settle into the boy. "I DO trust you. I trust you more than I do some foolish boy at Hogwarts who dropped you on your head to make a show for her. And whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, you want to be with Lily. I could tell from the way you shrank at what Petunia said. You were jealous. So. Now that we've covered what you feel and what you want, I ask again. What are you planning to do about it?"

"I...I don't really know." Severus said truthfully. Even after everything he had been through with Lily, despite how things had been changing, his intentions had just been to live and let live.

"Let's start with the obvious. Have you told Lily how you feel?"

"N-no…" Severus was scolding himself internally. "But...I don't think I need to. Lily already knows. She knows a lot more than she probably should."

"You're sure she knows?" Jasper asked, raising a questioning eyebrow. "Lily has been so overwhelmed while taking in Hogwarts and the rest of your world that something simple like that might have escaped her eye.

Severus knew otherwise. He remembered their time on the train ride back to London. How he had let the memory go too long and let Dumbledore speak the truth that he was in love with her. How surprised, yet flustered Lily seemed to be at the truth.

"I'm sure…" he admitted with a blush.

"You're a smart boy, Severus. If she knows, yet you've done nothing about it, then she expects you to do nothing about it. If you want to be with Lily...you're going to have to defy her expectations."

"How?" Severus asked, looking back up at Jasper with a genuine curiosity.

"Well for starters, you could walk right back through that door and spend the night here, with us. Lily was very excited to have you over tonight. How about you turn her disappointment into genuine surprise?"

Severus' gaze seemed to soften as he looked at the older soldier-turned-author. He had always felt a degree of admiration for Jasper, but now, he felt that he had another ally, even if he would never know the real truth of the reborn Slytherin's life. His curious expression morphed into a thin smile.

"Alright...I'll stay."

* * *

Lily had been sitting on the couch in the living room, fuming at how Petunia had ruined everything, with the way she made her friend so uncomfortable that he felt the need to leave.

After several minutes of silence, she heard the front door open up once again, and turned an eye to her father, curious at what had taken so long during his conversation with Severus.

Lily's curiosity was quickly replaced by elation once Severus followed him back through the doorway. Before she could ask why he changed his mind, he walked up to her, reaching an inviting hand out. "Let's go upstairs...you wanted to talk and catch up? So do I…"

She looked at his hand, dumbfounded for a moment at both his change of heart and the gesture he made to express it. But with a happy nod, Lily took his hand, eager to hear more of her beloved friend's story.

**Author's Note: So there we go. A little chapter spent on developing Lily's parents. I hope people like the story that I gave them. Petunia will be given more development time as we go on. Thanks to those of you who contributed their thoughts on the Author's Note I replaced with this chapter, I think I know how to treat the story going forward. Apologies for it taking so long to come up with a chapter, but the story is never going to die. That I can promise you.**

**Once again, I can't express enough how important reviews are. Everyone's feedback is very much appreciated. We're rapidly approaching 100,000+ reads, and that's so exciting to think that so many have enjoyed the story. Thanks again, everyone!**


	27. Chapter 26: Nightmare

**Disclaimer: Once again, I own no characters, ideas, or scenarios from the Harry Potter universe.**

"Why am I not surprised to see your room painted in that nauseating, Gryffindor red?" Severus snorted upon entering Lily's bedroom. It had been the first time in over twenty years that he had set foot into it, and obviously the details of the Evans household had grown hazy during that absence. He looked around and saw a room fit for royalty, at least by his humble standards.

Lily owned numerous magical baubles bought from Diagon Alley, enchanted photographs of many of her friends, and her bed was a plush, queen size with vivid green sheets. On her dresser, Severus noticed her Prefect badge, as well as a banner of the proud, Gryffindor lion on her wall. It was as if Lily had done everything in her power to take the magic of Hogwarts back home with her.

"Is that any way to speak to your host, Sev?" Lily quipped back, sitting down on the soft mattress. "Red was one of my favorite colors before I got sorted at Hogwarts, and this room reflected that a long time ago."

"One of?" Severus questioned. "I thought it was your absolute favorite. I can remember, back when we were nine years old. You told me that you wanted to go to Gryffindor because 'it was the red one'.

A smile spread across Lily's lips and she started giggling. "Oh Merlin, I did say that, didn't I? Well...times change. I've grown to like many colors now. Red, blue, green, yellow...and I happen to have developed a fondness for black as well." she added.

After a moment of laughter, the young witch's expression shifted. Obviously, his recollection had a profound effect on her. "I had to be reminded of that...and it hasn't even been seven years. But you...Sev, how can you still remember something so silly after almost thirty years…?"

Black met green once again, and he remained standing, looking down at her seated form. "There's a lot of things about my life that have grown hazy over the years...stress is mostly what causes it. Stress from spying, stress from lying. But when it comes to my time with you...I remember absolutely everything."

Lily broke their eye contact, looking down at the floor and shuffling her bare feet along it nervously. A blush was quickly forming on her cheeks. "I wish you would stop talking like that."

"Why?" he asked simply.

"You know why...it makes me uncomfortable, thinking that seventeen years went by...and I was the only thing on your mind."

"The other you." Severus corrected, raising a finger and making a slight smirk at having turned her phrase around on her.

"No, not the other me, Sev. All of those happy memories that you clung to, they all happened before the moment you arrived back here. It makes my head spin...time travel and all that nonsense...but I know, everything you remember, up until the day at the lake...your worst memory...I remember it too."

"I did what I had to do in order to stay true to the mission." Severus muttered, walking past Lily's bed and looking out the window to the starry, night sky.

"How exactly does obsessing over me accomplish anything?" she sighed with a frown, looking at his back turned to her. "I told you...I'm not some goddess...I'm just Lily."

"I made a promise to protect your son. I did what I had to do...I spent hundreds of hours nearly drowning myself in a Pensieve, refreshing memories from years gone by. Reminding myself of what was lost due to my own, stupid decisions. Seeing all of those conversations and finally hearing the truth in your words...things that I ignored due to being a prideful, idiotic, teenager. I did it all so I could stay the course and bear the burden of protecting Harry Potter. To honor the sacrifice that you...the other Lily, had made."

Slowly, Lily returned to her feet, walking behind Severus and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "But why would you need to envelop yourself in all of those bittersweet memories?"

"Because it was the only way I could stand to tolerate the boy's existence." Severus droned, feeling the floodgates opening, and having the urge to occlude himself from it. This was not the direction he wanted their conversation to take.

Lily's eyes widened slightly, and asked with a quiver in her soft voice. "Wait...you...Sev, did you...did you hate Harry?"

"With every fiber of my being." Severus groaned.

"Why?!" she winced, taking offense to something being said about the son that hadn't even been born yet.

"Why not?!" Severus turned to her, his gaze sharp with silent rage. "He had no respect for authority, just like his father. He was granted favors by Dumbledore, just like his father. If he didn't have your eyes, he would have looked JUST LIKE HIS FATHER."

"You can't place your hatred at the things James has done to you on an innocent child, Severus!" Lily snapped.

By now, Severus could feel his blood pumping, the infuriating laundry list of reasons why he loathed Harry Potter once again coming to the forefront of his mind.

"If it were just his resemblance to Potter, I would merely have been annoyed by him. But no...If I hadn't died so young, that boy would have taken years off my life from the stress of how much trouble he caused! Always marching off, trying to get himself killed. Despite everything that people were doing to protect him from danger, he would just rush headfirst into it. He was always, ALWAYS fed the story of the Boy Who Lived. And he thought he'd live again and again, chasing after trouble, going to fight the Dark Lord without a clue as to what he was up against, never respecting what you died for!"

After several moments of letting his anger overwhelm him, he took a few breaths, desperately trying to keep his cool and not say something he might regret. "It wasn't his disrespect for me or for authority that I hated. It was his disrespect for **you**. And not just HIS disrespect, but the disrespect that the ENTIRE WIZARDING WORLD subjected your memory to. I couldn't go two weeks without hearing another spineless imbecile raving about the Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One, the Savior of the Wizarding World, Saint Potter. Where was the respect for the real hero...The Mother Who Died? Why was I the only one who tried to honor the memory of Lily Evans?!"

Lily's hostility softened, seeing the pain on his face as as the real truth of his anger came to the forefront. Looking into the shattered mirrors that were his obsidian eyes, she could see that this was not something he had ever admitted to anyone. Probably not even Dumbledore. Once again, she pulled him into a hug, hearing him choking back tears as he poured his heart out to her.

"Sev...You have to stop...please...stop letting the baggage from that other life carry over into this one. You're here...and so am I. This is your life...you don't have to go spying, or dying, in the memory of some woman's ghost again…I rather prefer you alive, if it's all the same to you." she laughed sadly, kissing his cheek, feeling the wetness of his tears as she did so.

Severus, on the other hand, felt a comforting warmth, and his own cheeks started to blush after Lily's loving gesture.

"You really should be spending less time lamenting about your old life and start planning what you want to do with this one. Do you know what you want your career path to be?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

"No...and it honestly doesn't matter." he mumbled.

"Doesn't matter?" Lily gasped, almost repulsed by his answer. "And why not?"

"My only goal right now is ensuring that history doesn't repeat itself." Severus' tone hardened, as did the expression on his face. "I have to keep working...until my original mission is finished."

"Your original mission? Sev, I'm safe. I'm right here...you're not bound to anyone or anything anymore." Lily pleaded.

"My mission and the motivations I have for embarking on it are two different things, Lily. Keeping you safe was my motivation. But my mission is...and has always been, the fall of the Dark Lord."

He took a deep breath, still clutching Lily closely, before turning to look out the window once more. "More and more, there will be times when those skies light up with a green glow and a dark mark. People will die. Others will suffer. I failed last time, when he killed me. And maybe...when I thought I had nothing left, I welcomed that end. But I will see it happen this time around...I'll finish it myself if that's what it comes down to. I cannot live while Voldemort survives." he echoed the words of Trelawney's prophecy.

As Lily listened to Severus' vow, she felt his protective embrace around her tightening. It was as if an armor was forming around her, an armor forged by the sheer will of his words. And she felt safe, believing every word he uttered as the absolute truth…

* * *

Severus had never been a heavy sleeper, even in the best of times. Growing up, his father's tirades throughout the house, coming in after last call at the local tavern had long ended, ensured that even the most mild of noises alerted him. So when the gentle gong of the grandfather clock downstairs in the living room announced it was three o'clock in the morning, his eyes opened sleepily to examine the moonlit bedroom.

The guest bedroom was situated upstairs, next door to Lily's room and across the hall from Jasper and Dahlie's master bedroom. The walls were a more plain, urban gray, a rather neutral color compared to the red in Lily's room.

When their talk earlier that night had concluded, Severus was astounded once Lily made the suggestion that he sleep with her. After a period of awkward stuttering at her almost ludicrous request, Severus finally brushed it off with a chuckle.

The one thing that bothered him, though, was the almost severe disappointment in Lily's eyes when he said no. Surely she had been joking with him?

His eyes drifted to the wall separating the guest room from hers.

That's when he heard the moaning.

For a moment, he thought he had imagined it. It only happened once, then there was another period of silence.

Then another moan, followed quickly by a shudder, and sobbing. He could hear Lily's terrified voice muttering something.

**"_NO!"_** he shouted internally to himself as he threw the covers off and silently crept towards the door.

It had been so obvious, yet his mind had foolishly drifted to the juvenile implications of her request, rather than the very real truth. Lily was having another nightmare.

Within moments, he opened her door, seeing the soft light of the moon revealing Lily's sleeping form in the darkness. Her hair was messily spread across her pillows and she was tossing and turning, with all the violent force of a crashing tide.

Her arms and face were both drenched in sweat.

"Lily...hey, Lily!" Severus hissed quietly. He took a seat next to her on the bed, nudging her shoulder as gently as possible in order to rouse her somewhat peacefully from the nightmare.

Despite his efforts, it had been anything but peaceful. Lily's eyes snapped open and she immediately clung to him, her labored breaths coming in short spasms. It took several minutes of comforting strokes through her hair, and soft, soothing whispers from Severus, assuring her that everything was alright, that it had all been a dream, before the young witch finally started to relax.

Lily's clinging lessened, but did not cease. It still seemed like she was holding Severus for dear life, much in the same way she had the night she had been dropped from the Astronomy Tower by her mystery assailant. The night he had abandoned all secrecy and soared like a bird to catch her.

Severus spent several minutes waiting for Lily to speak to him. But eventually, all he heard was the rhythmic breathing in and out, and the slowing beat of her heart. Once he looked back down at her, it was obvious from her closed eyelids and rapid eye movement that she was still dreaming. She hadn't truly woken up throughout the whole ordeal. But at least the nightmares were over for now.

With his eyes swimming in emotion, Severus adjusted himself so that he was under the sheets, right next to Lily as she remained in his protective embrace. In time with the rhythm of her gentle breaths, he stroked, from the back of her head down her spine. It was a caress unlike any he had given Lily before, past or present life.

He shut his eyes and merely continued to listen to her breathing. It had been a moment of clarity, more powerful to him than any crazed speech from Dumbledore about a greater good or doing the right thing. Looking down at her sleeping form, he whispered softly, almost inaudibly. "Whoever did this...they're going to pay. And their master is going to pay double. I swear to you, Lily, if it's the last thing I do, I'm going to create a world without Voldemort."

As the hours passed throughout the night, Lily continued to sleep peacefully, nuzzling her head into Severus' chest unconsciously. The nightmares did not return again.

**Author's Note: After chapters which tend to focus or highlight other characters, I like to take things back to the main duo of the story to get the audience more invested in them. I'm still trying to incorporate ideas for chapters fully from Lily's point of view, but that will likely come more often during their sixth year than right now.**

**Another awkward part of the whole Severus "Back in Time" trope is touching the subject of Severus' animosity towards Harry. Some people assume it to be a jealous, vindictive grudge towards James Potter, and I'm sure that's part of it. Yet, I also think the most driving reason is Harry's recklessness and need to be a hero. Severus is so damaged emotionally that in his life of grief, he could see that as a complete disregard towards the people who sacrifice to keep him safe, most of all, Lily.**

**As I always do, I'd like to take this time to thank everyone so far who has been inspired to comment and review on what they've read so far. I can't emphasize enough how important it is for authors to get meaningful feedback from their readers. If you enjoyed something in particular, I want to know. If something confused you, I want to know. If you're looking forward to something or want to share your theories with fellow readers, I want to know. So with that in mind, please keep sending that feedback; I can assure you it makes all the difference to me!**


	28. Chapter 27: Your First Kiss

**Disclaimer: As usual, I claim no ownership of the characters, spells, locations, or any other such scenario from the Harry Potter universe. As a special aside, I do warn you all that there is more harsh language in this chapter than usual. I don't want to change the rating of the story based on a few words here or there, as it's not going to be a norm of the story, but I do want to warn those that are offended by the F-bomb to brace themselves in this chapter.**

The rays of sunshine had begun poking into Lily's bedroom the following morning, and when they stretched to reach her face, the young witch began to stir. Her first conscious thoughts were of how surprisingly peaceful the night had been. She could remember all of the times in the past week that she had woken up in cold sweats while it was still dark outside, plagued by the trauma of her near-death fall. The nightmares were so frequent that she had been growing particularly irritable from her lack of rest.

So when Lily sleepily opened her eyes, they widened instantaneously when she saw Severus in bed next to her. Her senses had quickly sharpened, and became aware of his arms gently wrapped around her body.

Within moments, Lily cheeks had grown as red as her hair, and she remembered her offer to him the previous night. She had asked if he might consider sleeping with her, though immediately they both broke into nervous laughter when she phrased her request that way. Afterwards, the Muggleborn girl was too embarrassed to actually rephrase it to articulate what she actually wanted. She just wanted the company that night, someone to comfort her if the nightmares had come back again.

Apparently, they had, and Severus came into her room that night to make sure that she could sleep.

"_Sev...thank you."_ she thought to herself with a blushing smile as she let herself relax in his embrace. It felt...nice, laying with him like this. She watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest, letting herself begin to breathe in time with him. She couldn't bring herself to move a muscle, instead opting to study him in ways she hadn't before.

For all that Severus had been through, she finally understood why he had been acting so radically differently from before the incident at the lake. The way he carried himself, the adult confidence that seemed to radiate from him. The way he marched with purpose, instead of gently sneaking around as he had done for years. It was all from being hardened by his previous life's experiences. Even when they had walked to the Potions O.W.L. the week before, Lily got the sense that Severus was keeping watch over his shoulder. He was constantly on guard during his time at Hogwarts, always lowering his voice to a whisper when they discussed anything remotely alluding to his previous life.

But Lily noticed something else as she looked at Severus' sleeping face. He seemed relaxed and at peace. Whatever he was dreaming about seemed to pierce through all of that turmoil and urgency.

"_He's probably dreaming about you…"_ a little voice in the back of her mind echoed. The blush only grew in intensity.

For the first week of knowing this new Severus, Lily had relentlessly tried to figure out why he had changed so abruptly. Now that she knew the truth, her head continued to spin, trying to answer a different question. How she had been the catalyst for that change?

"_What's...so special about me?" _she asked herself, taking a risk and gently pushing a stray lock of his black hair aside so she could look at him more closely. _"Sev...he's become this absolutely beautiful, devoted person. Strong...unbreakable, but still so very emotional...just like when he was actually a teenager. He's still steeped in pride, but it's been tempered by wisdom, and unclouded by his sorrows…"_

However, a chill shot through Lily's spine. There was one, very dreadful reality that sunk in when she recalled his words from the previous night. How he could not truly begin to live while Voldemort still walked. And then she remembered how he so casually told her of his death during his confession on the train.

For all of the heroism he had gained, the wisdom and strength that his hard life had given him, it had also taken something away. Severus had absolutely no regard for his own life. Even now, he saw himself as more of a tool than a person.

With that thought in her mind...she felt an urge...and was unable to stop herself from draping her arm over Severus' hip and pressing gently over the small of his back. She pushed herself into his protective embrace a little more and rested her head right against his heart, listening to the hypnotic sound of its beating. All she wanted to do was envelop herself in his essence, just to think with him so close to try to better understand what she could do for his sense of self.

She took a deep breath in, recognizing that scent of enchanted soap and lather that he had been using lately...that aroma of spring rain. With one, simple breath, her redness intensified.

Lily immediately knew that she had gone too far. After a minute or so of laying with him, the gentle heartbeat near her ear began to accelerate, and nearly doubled in speed. She looked up and saw the open eyes of Severus, wide as could be, looking down at her in stunned silence.

"Erm...sorry...didn't mean to wake you." she said with a sheepish grin, before awkwardly pulling away as he did the same.

"Forgive me. I hadn't intended on staying here all night. " Severus mumbled, pulling the sheets off and sitting up.

"Was I having nightmares again..?" Lily asked, already knowing the answer.

He answered her question with a simple nod, looking out the window. "I don't usually sleep in this late...I thought I'd be out of here before you actually woke up."

"It's no trouble!" Lily squeaked, looking down and trying to hide her madly-flushed face. "Thank you...I guess we both needed some sleep.

A minute after sitting up, Severus got to his feet and seemed to be making for the door, but Lily halted him.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?" she asked, almost pleadingly.

"I'm not particularly interested in either Jasper or Dahlie walking in on us alone in your room." Severus snorted.

"Mum and Dad respect my privacy enough to knock, Sev. We didn't do anything; you have nothing to explain…" she got out from under the sheets of her bed, revealing a simple, white nightgown, which stretched down to her knees.

The sight of Lily in her gown was too much for Severus. He turned back to face the door and planted his forehead against the wooden surface.

"Please...put a shirt or something else on over that…I can leave if you need to change." he muttered.

"Sev, it's hot; I'm not putting a bloody shirt on, and I'm not changing until I take a much-needed shower. Honestly, how old are you that you can't even look at me like this?" she teased.

"Old enough to know that I'm acting like a despicable degenerate when I look at you dressed like that." he huffed, banging his head against the door in frustration. Lily's mention of a shower had done him no favors

"For Merlin's sake, Sev, you're not some monk!" Lily snapped, half-amused and half-flustered. "You act like I'm the only girl you've seen this way…"

Severus merely stood silently, turning his own, blushing face back toward her.

Lily seemed perplexed by his silence for a moment, but her eyes widened once more. "No...no, don't tell me…"

Still, he remained silent, not offering anything to stop her suspicions.

"God, Sev, really?! Nobody?!" she asked, now completely overwhelmed by frustration.

"Why is that such a surprise to you?" He asked, a lump of embarrassment building in his throat.

"Why is it such a surprise?! Did you really just ask me that? You haven't been with anyone? Never had a girlfriend?! Never even had your first kiss?!" A shake of his head was all Severus needed to do to confirm her questioning. Her fiery temper was returning in full force, and she racked her hands through her hair. "God, why the hell not?!"

"You're telling me you've done all of those things already?" Severus asked with an eyebrow raised.

"I've at least had a snog before! You went through your teenage years and your entire adult life without even getting that far?"

"Who?" Severus asked, feeling the fire in his stomach beginning to burn.

"Don't change the subject to me, Sev...why not?"

"You first." He insisted, his black eyes locking with hers. The steel in his voice had returned, and clearly he wasn't going to budge until she did first.

"Fabian Prewett, fourth year." she groaned, losing her patience.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, looking back down at her, some of the edge in his voice lost at the confirmation that at least she hadn't kissed Potter yet.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that my love life was any of your business."

"And yet you act like mine is any of yours…What does it matter if I have been with anyone or not?"

"It just does! It's unhealthy, what you've done with your life...don't you think that you might have at least been able to do a few things for your own reasons if you had someone beside you?"

"I didn't want anyone near me, nor did I need them. I'm perfectly capable of living my life without the burden of anyone else. I'm better alone." he sighed back, marching towards the desk near her window and sitting down.

"Could you cut the bollocks and be honest with me?! Yes, plenty of people can live their lives without someone to share it with, but you're not one of them. You've always been so dependent on what others think of you...it's why you travelled that road in the first place. It's why you lived your life to honor the memory of someone you felt you had wronged...and it's why you came back."

Severus' armor was starting to crumble under the onslaught of Lily's words. He could sense her good intentions, but it wasn't helping. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you're brilliant, Sev!" Lily finally admitted, sitting back down on her bed with a huff and folding her arms as she looked at him from behind. "You're intelligent, talented, and your skills seem almost limitless. You're quite amusing when you want to be and don't put yourself behind your prickly armor. You listen...I mean, actually, sincerely listen when others want to talk to you...you're loyal...brave...why would you choose to be alone despite all of that?"

"Was it really my choice..?"

Lily noticed an emptiness in his voice when he uttered those words. _"He's not using Occlumency again, is he..?"_ she asked herself before continuing.

"Obviously...any woman worth her salt...that saw the real you, would be tempted by you. You're the one who made the conscious decision not to let anyone see that."

"_And yet I never tempted you…"_ he thought, shaking his head to free himself from his own, oppressive inner voice. "Lily, all of this...everything that you're saying about me now, it didn't exist when I was 16. I was skilled, yes, but I put that skill to the wrong uses. People could talk to me, but that's because I was so poor at articulating what I really felt. All I had back then...was anger."

"Sev, you had me!" Lily insisted.

"Did I?" he asked again, shifting his chair around so he could face her again. "The only reason I'm not angry all the time anymore is because I simply got tired of it. It was too exhausting...for all of the work I had to do. But here, without my Occlumency, I feel it all anew. I was angry at my mother, for leaving me to Tobias. I hated him, for beating me, for ruining any chance I had to be popular or outgoing...I hated the Gryffindors because of their bloody resemblance to my father's stupid football team."

Lily kept her lips shut, letting Severus continue to talk. She had a feeling another confession was going to come again, and she braced herself for it.

"More than that, I absolutely despised the Marauders. And...for the briefest of moments...I was angry at you for taking their side over mine."

"W-what?" the redhead stuttered, confused by what he meant.

"It almost seems mundane...compared to everything I told you on the train…" he chuckled coldly. "Remus Lupin, the so-called voice of reason of the Marauders, is the wolf in sheep's clothing. Literally."

Lily stared at Severus. "Yes..? And your point is?"

His eyes widened. "You knew?!"

"I had assumed, same as you." Lily whispered, growing impatient. "I thought I might find out for sure if he had chosen to tell me. That doesn't change the fact that he's my friend and it would be horribly cruel to hate someone for something they can't control. It's no better than persecuting a Muggleborn."

Severus just looked at Lily, completely dumbfounded. She had known. Or at least, she had been trying to dissuade him from looking into it any further.

"What does this have to do with me taking their side over yours, Sev? Just because Remus is a werewolf, it doesn't make him a bad person."

His head was tilted downward, beginning to feel it surging again. As strongly as the day he had tried to plead his case with her in his first life.

"So it was just 'the right thing to do' when I was sworn to secrecy when I discovered Lupin's true identity? The day I was nearly murdered by Black letting his pet off his leash...and had that terrifying beast towering over me? What was it you said to me..? That I was being ungrateful?"

Lily's eyes were growing wider by the moment. She remembered the conversation well, as it had only happened this past year at Hogwarts. Their worst row…

"_You're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there."_

She could still see the horror in Severus' eyes as he tried to process her response. It seemed like, in that moment, the young boy's heart had been broken. From there, the conversation had derailed to James, and her best friend desperately was trying to keep Lily from getting any closer to him.

"No...no, it...it was Remus down there? Transformed?" she asked, looking at Severus' shattered eyes.

"Five points to Gryffindor…" he coldly mumbled.

"Why…? Why didn't you-" she whimpered, before being cut off by him.

"I already told you why. I was sworn to secrecy by Dumbledore. Favoring his Golden Gang of Gryffindors. A werewolf, a rebellious young psychopath who tried to kill me for a laugh, their snivelling little tag-along who becomes a Death Eater, and James-Fucking-Potter." he spat with disdain.

"You want to know why I never let anyone see what I was worth? Because on that day...you showed me what I was worth. Nothing. That's all I was...the ungrateful Slytherin who consorted with future Death Eaters. The one who you were embarrassed to even be around. The one who came to you, desperate to tell SOMEBODY. I had already started having my own nightmares then...nightmares of that hellish beast and its howl as it looked down at me...ready to tear me apart. A fall from the Astronomy Tower sounds like a walk in the park compared to that-"

This time, it was Severus who was cut off, when Lily lifted a finger to his lips. She was crying again, heartbroken at what she had done to him with her ignorance of the situation. "I'm sorry. I already told you...I know now...that you're worth so much more than that. I always should have, but I didn't. I failed you...but I want to try again, if you'll let me…"

"It was years ago…" he sighed. "I've gotten over it out of necessity."

Her expression lightened just a bit, wiping the tears out of her eyes. "Well, if that's the case...let's talk about...what did you call him? James-Fucking-Potter? Have you gotten over that?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, unsure of where to even start.

"What Tuney said last night. I haven't said anything about James Potter in my letters home ever since you came back to that day at the lake. Honestly, I've been so busy trying to figure you out, that I haven't paid him much thought."

Severus looked down at the floor. "What you write to your family isn't any of my business."

"Dammit, Sev, enough!" Lily stomped her foot, causing a loud boom on the floor beneath her, before standing up. "Stop acting like some selfless martyr! If you want something, come out and bloody say it!"

"What do you want me to say?!" He hissed, getting to his feet to meet her, looking down at her by a few inches. "That I was jealous?! That I even have it in me to be jealous after all this time? That I wished you would shut up about your desire to see me with other women when the only one I've ever wanted is standing right in front of me?!"

Immediately after his outburst, Severus shrank, and his body went rigid. He hadn't intended to be so blunt, but as usual, Lily's tendency to pierce his armor of secrecy was on full display.

For a few seconds, neither of them moved a muscle, but Severus desperately needed to diffuse the situation. "I'm sorry...I di-"

"Sit." she interrupted him, pointing down to the edge of her bed. Her tone was sharp, and her eyes burned like a green fire.

The intensity in her gaze made him unable to disobey, and he sat down onto the soft mattress, crumpling a loose portion of the green blanket into his hand nervously.

Lily sat down next to him, her lips quivering, but her gaze as intense as it was before. Then she spoke again, just as deliberately as she had before.

"You are positively infuriating. Spewing that garbage about being worthless, treating your own tragedy like it's a sodding afterthought. I'm only going to do this once...After that, it's up to you…"

"Do what..?"

Lily closed her eyes and leaned forward. Before Severus could snap his head backwards in surprise, her lips were pressed gently against his. In that moment, the young Slytherin had an out of body experience. He could hear the gentle breaths that Lily took as she kissed him, felt her arms drape over his shoulders to pull him in deeper. Their lips danced, and Severus acted upon several years of fantasies and dreams. He returned the embrace, his fingertips grazing along the back of her neck.

One, long kiss became two. Two became a series of them in rapid succession, and he felt the strangest sensation of Lily poking her tongue between her lips and gliding along his own lips between each kiss. Despite the entire ordeal being foreign to him, Severus learned quickly, and matched her movements. Their breathing became more rapid, and the gentleness that his fingers had on her neck transformed into a more raw, passionate pull as he held her as tightly as he could.

His hands began to glide further down her back, feeling her soft skin through the thin fabric of her nightgown.

As startling as an explosion, there was a knock on Lily's door, and the kiss was ceased by Dahlie's concerned voice on the other side.

"Lily? Meine Blume, is everything alright in there?"

Looking into the redhead's eyes with astonishment, Severus could see her cursing silently, teeth clenched. "Everything's fine, mum!"

The door opened slowly and the German woman peeked her head in, smiling at them both. "I heard the noise from downstairs, just wanted to check and make sure nothing bad happened. Just so you both know, breakfast is almost ready."

"Thanks, Mum." Lily forced a smile before the door shut.

Slowly, she got back to her feet, making her way towards her dresser and pulling out a change of clothes. "I'm going to go shower...then I'll see you downstairs."

"Hey...wait, what in Merlin's name was that?!" Severus stammered, his eyes still snapped open in shock.

"Well...that, Sev, was your first kiss…" she answered with a teasing smile. "And I must say, you're a natural." she added before leaving for the bathroom.

**Author's Note: I think that chapter really says it all. I was considering putting this moment off for a while longer, but I do want to emphasize that despite what happened in this chapter, Severus and Lily ARE NOT A COUPLE, at least not yet. There's a number of conflicting emotions that Lily is going through in her discoveries of Severus, but one major one is her growing attraction to him, and the peace she feels being around him.**

**Despite what Sev may tell himself, yes, he does tempt her, but the one thing he's going to have to learn to get over is to start becoming more assertive about his own wants and desires, and to stop acting like he's above physical attraction and affection. What happened at the end of this chapter...will hopefully help him take the first step away from that in a big way.**

**In Lily's case, it's not so much a kiss of pity as it is a kiss of acknowledgement. She knows everything that her memory has done to him, and once she learns that he hasn't so much as kissed a girl in his whole life, that's a real wake-up call for her to do something to at least jump-start his new life.**

**Once again, I must thank everyone who has reviewed so far, and ask you all to continue doing so. The more thoughtfully written reviews have a profound effect on how I write and adjust as I go, so please, the more detailed, the better!**


	29. Chapter 28: Lily - An Interlude

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of the characters, spells, and world of Harry Potter.**

Once Lily shut the door to the bathroom, she fell back against it, panting heavily as panic and fright took shape in her eyes..

"_What the hell was that?!"_ she stammered internally, echoing a similar sentiment to the one Severus had made before her almost flirtatious departure. Instantly, amidst her short, nervous, slightly aroused breaths, a whirlwind of questions had begun to form.

What had caused her to become so fearless, so adamant that she had to kiss him?

Why so passionate a kiss and not just a more innocent, quick one?

Why had it been okay with her that one kiss turned into a full-on make-out session?

How in Merlin's name was Severus such an amazing kisser without any prior experience?

How far would they have gone if Lily's mother hadn't interrupted them?

Why did she seem so flustered and angry that they HAD been interrupted?

Perhaps the question that resounded most of all…

"_When can I kiss him again..?"_

Shaking herself out of her stupor, Lily turned on the faucet, letting the water pour out before rotating the diverter to activate the shower head. A cold shower was all that seemed to pierce through her haze of heat as she peeled off her sweat-dampened nightgown and stepped inside the tub to take her place under the torrent of water.

Even though the chill was able to give her the clarity to think without her hormones doing it for her, she still had no idea where to even begin.

Lily was by no means an active flirt, despite what her talk with Severus might have conveyed, but at the same time, she wasn't a prude like her best friend had been for years. Her first kiss had been with Fabian Prewett, a fellow Gryffindor who was two years her senior, and had just graduated at the end of the year.

Fabian, and his twin brother, Gideon, had in a lot of ways been the original Marauders during her time at Hogwarts. When she arrived, they had already been legends with their pranks throughout the school, though none of them were nearly as malevolent as some of the things that James and Sirius had done, especially in regards to Severus. Rather, the Prewetts seemed obsessed with bringing a smile to everyone in the school, and the fun had often occurred at their own expense, knowing they would get caught. This was in stark contrast to the Marauders, who had James' invisibility cloak and their Map to make sure that they could avoid detection during their nightly escapades.

The fact that Lily had ended up with James Potter during Severus' first life wouldn't have surprised her so much if he weren't ten times more hurtful in his pranking than Fabian was, as there were so many parallels between the two. As it was, she was frustrated in her attraction to him, as he reminded her a lot of Fabian, who had been her first crush at Hogwarts.

It happened during a party following Gryffindor's Quidditch victory over Slytherin in her fourth year. Fabian had smashed one of the Bludgers into the Slytherin Seeker, Regulus Black, moments before the Snitch had been caught, and to say he was the hero of the house that day would have been an understatement. Emotions were running high with everyone in Gryffindor; Butterbeer had been smuggled in by the keg, and after a few drinks of the slightly alcoholic beverage, Lily had gathered the courage to pull Fabian to the side of the common room. The kiss that followed was one that Lily often fantasized about, though nothing had really come of it besides a few private snogging sessions throughout the year and one date at Hogsmeade in the Spring.

Whatever embers she had for the older boy honestly died once she became a Prefect the following year, as he and his brother made her life a living hell from all of the clean-up work she had to assist in. But that first kiss had been one of her most cherished memories as it proved to her that she wasn't just some really studious girl with no time for fun or pleasure. More importantly, the kiss had signified to her that she wasn't some outsider of Muggle heritage. She belonged in the Wizarding World as much as any pureblood did.

Severus had single-handedly annihilated Fabian's kiss. It wasn't just in his natural technique. It was the passion, the emotions that he let out, the way he held her, as if she was truly the only thing that he ever desired. For all the times that Lily had reflected upon the memory of Dumbledore using the word 'love' to describe Severus' feelings for her (and Merlin help her, she had reflected on it dozens of times in the few days it had been), she wasn't sure if she believed it.

That kiss had swept away any question in Lily's mind as to whether Dumbledore had misinterpreted the Slytherin's feelings. Severus was hopelessly in love with her, and ONLY her.

The intense blushing returned to her cheeks, and the young witch was still overcome by warmth all over her body, despite the icy cold water pouring out of the shower.

"_Why did I kiss him that way…?" _Lily asked herself once more, furrowing her brow as she began to wash her hair.

On the surface, it might have seemed like the reason Lily kissed Severus was pity. Sadness for the years of peril and danger he put himself in, the misery that he endured. Such a thought would no-doubt have offended Severus, who it seemed never asked for an ounce of acknowledgement or pity from anyone, instead opting to keep himself bottled up. The fact that she had cried so much every time she learned something new about him probably did his pride no favors either.

"_No…"_ Lily thought, a thin smile coming to her lips as the pieces began to connect themselves. All of the tears she had shed on behalf of her beloved friend. It was more than any person should have to endure, yes, but Severus had never broken, not once. She would have felt sympathy for him if he'd been a prisoner. He could have defected back to Voldemort once she had died if his motivations had been as self-serving as the rest of the Death Eaters, or escaped and fled the country if he was truly afraid of what he was going into.

He had chosen to continue to stay on the path of light, with no mind for personal gain, even at the expense of his own reputation among the people that trusted him and thought him a traitor.

Lily had not cried tears of sorrow. No. She had been undeniably proud of him. He had proven himself to be every bit the wonderful person she knew him to be when they were children. For all of the darkness that had followed him during their previous, tumultuous two years in school, despite the fact that in a moment of weakness, he uttered a slur that made him lose her forever, and throughout the years of horror that followed, he never lost that spark of true goodness that had drawn her to him in the first place.

That was why she had kissed him.

Her smile and blush only continued to widen at that realization as her mind wandered back to their kiss again. Once more, she felt the tight, protective sensation of his arms around her. Her neck shivered with goosebumps when she recalled what happened next. His gentle fingertips ran teasingly down her spine.

For the second time, Lily shivered and shook her head, trying to bring herself back into the moment, but it was no use. Every time she closed her eyes, she thought back to what it was like to be in his arms, waking up peacefully at his side that morning, the armor that was Severus Snape shielding her from the world. His strength, his experience, his unwavering, adult confidence wrapped around her.

Was it any wonder that he had chased her nightmares away?

In an ironic sort of way, Lily's original goal had been to awaken Severus' selfishness, to make him want and desire things for his own reasons again and not be so callous towards his own needs as a person.

Instead, something entirely unexpected had blossomed.

She wanted him.

"_Merlin...I'm in trouble…"_ she shuddered to herself as she turned off the knobs to the shower.

**Author's Note: Admittedly, a shorter chapter, but I wanted to have one chapter devoted entirely to Lily's perspective following the abrupt kiss that occurred during the previous chapter. Most of this story has invested itself on Severus' perspective with bits and pieces of Lily here and there, but I want there to be a more equal balance of them as time goes on, and I thought this would be a good opportunity for it.**

**This chapter is in a very different style to what I usually do since the entirety of it happens across maybe ten minutes and it's all internal development as Lily combs through her thoughts and rapidly growing feelings for Sev.**

**I can't thank all of you enough for the support you guys have given me so far in the story. Today marks over 500 followers, which is just astounding that so many of you have read and enjoyed enough to do so.**

**As always, if you enjoy the story and want to share your support, please send me a detailed review of your thoughts on the chapter and where things may be headed moving forward! As I write this, FF Net is apparently going through some site bug where the reviews aren't showing on the page, but I still get your reviews by e-mail (The reviews will become visible once the problem is fixed regardless, so don't think I'll ignore them!). In addition, if you want to discuss the story further, I'm always up to read private messages from some of my more detailed reviewers. I'm still batting the idea of possibly taking on a Beta for the story at some point, but for right now, I'm content in just reading what you all have to say and shedding light where I feel it would be most wanted.**

**Thanks so much, and I hope to have more for you all soon!**


	30. Chapter 29: A Two-Way Street

**Disclaimer: As usual, I own no characters, spells, scenarios, or locations from the Harry Potter universe.**

For what seemed like an eternity, Severus merely sat on the bed, awestruck by what had just happened. His heart was beating with all the explosiveness of a drum orchestra, eyes locked on the door Lily exited from.

Physical intimacy was something that he had never cared about in his previous life, with his mother a broken woman who shortly committed suicide after this point, and his relationship with Lily damaged beyond repair. It was merely an annoyance that he would discourage as a teacher, frequently prowling the halls during free period, taking points from students that kissed, and handing detentions to the more promiscuous couples. This was even more of a chore during the Yule Ball of the Triwizard Tournament, as students from every school had found all signs of hiding places for their hormones to run wild. Hogwarts was a school filled with teenagers, and it was every bit as hard to keep under control as it sounded.

Severus simply had no place in his life for another anymore, not with the stress of spying weighing on his mind, watching absolutely everything he said so as to not arouse suspicion. Every time Lucius Malfoy would try to set his friend up with a proper, pureblood witch from a renowned wizarding family, it would last one date before it came off the rails. Oftentimes, it was because the lady would cringe upon finding out his half-blood status, disregarding the fact that the Princes were one of the more ancient families in the world.

Despite combing through those memories, he couldn't remember any of their names due to how much they repulsed him. There was one, however, who he danced with during a fundraising gala held by Lucius. And though he couldn't recall the name of the woman, he remembered the date of the fundraiser, January 29, 1982. He could still hear the absolute disgust in her eyes when she ranted about how Hogwarts was continuing to let Muggleborn students attend Hogwarts, and she seemed very interested in his position as Head of Slytherin House.

"_I should think that you could get in Dumbledore's ear and help him see the error in letting Mudbloods continue to attend OUR school."_

It was the first, and only time that Severus snapped during his time spying, making a scene as he abruptly walked off the dance floor and left the witch alone. It hadn't helped that it was a few hours before what would have been Lily's first birthday after her death. After that day, he steeled himself, and never let his emotions betray him and the mission again. He tolerated that loathsome word when amongst his enemies, but nowhere else.

He never spent time with women again after that point, outright refusing every offer Lucius gave him. The closest he had ever come to a female was his friendly rivalry with Minerva McGonagall, who seemed to share a common solitude with Severus. The much older witch was able to at least bring out a sense of fun in him, as the two made it a competition at the start of each school year to see who could find more students in violation of the rules, notwithstanding the obligatory grudge match between Gryffindor and Slytherin in Quidditch.

So why had Lily awoken something in him with that kiss? How did he abandon everything that he had gained in that one moment and returned it with equal, if not more passion? Why did she even kiss him in the first place?

Once more, her words bounced across the walls of his mind like a bludger.

"_I'm only going to do this once...After that, it's up to you..."_

"_What in Merlin's name was that supposed to mean? Why did she do it to begin with?!"_ he hissed internally, furious that he couldn't unravel the mystery of Lily's motivations. For all of his attempts at secrecy with her, he seemed to fail on every turn, even down to his impassioned rant that she was all he had ever wanted. However, Lily herself had become an almost unsolvable riddle; he didn't know what she was playing at, and it seemed like she was on a mission to tease him eternally.

With a heavy sigh, Severus got to his feet, finally having feeling return to the rest of his body following the paralysis the kiss had given him. He made his way downstairs to join the Evans family for breakfast, determined to at least ready himself before he had to see her again.

* * *

Lily stepped lightly down the staircase and into the family room, clad in a turquoise blouse and jean shorts cut above the knees. She took a short breath before walking into the kitchen, immediately seeing her family and Severus seated at the table. All of them were looking at her, her parents with a slightly concerned smile, Petunia with a glare, and Severus with that ever-present look of wonder he had been giving her on a consistent basis.

"What?" she asked, confused by their silence.

"Honestly, there had better be hot water left!" Petunia snapped with a jeering tone. "Forty minutes is a bit greedy, don't you think?"

"Forty...what?!" Lily asked, stunned at her sister's remark. "You're joking."

"Afraid not, Lily." Jasper chuckled, adjusting his glasses before taking a sip of his coffee. "Don't blame your mother if your food is cold.

"That's alright." Lily laughed nervously. "Sorry, Tuney. There should still be plenty of hot water; I took a cold shower." She took a seat at the table next to Severus, who briefly looked at her before turning back down at his food.

Whenever she wasn't wearing her Hogwarts robes, Lily had always been a function over fashion type of girl, but that never seemed to matter. Whatever she wore always seemed to cause Severus' heart to leap and a lump to form in his throat.

Lily looked down at her plate, seeing her favorite. A sunny-side up egg with a short stack of hotcakes, covered in a blueberry spread. "Thanks so much for breakfast, Mum!" she chirped happily before taking a bite. "And don't worry. It's still delicious!"

Dahlie smiled in relief. "Thank you, Meine Blume. I always do my best for my family."

It was one of the things that Lily loved about her mother, though it was something she tried to dissuade. Dahlie was always trying her absolute hardest to make sure that family life at the Evans Household was perfect, often working herself into the ground to make them happy.

"Severus was just telling us his plans for the future." Jasper announced with a smile, putting his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Oh..?" Lily asked with a curious smile. "Funny...you didn't mention any plans with me, Sev. Do tell."

Severus just sighed, looking down at his nearly-finished plate of breakfast, taking a bite of toast before wiping his mouth politely. "It's just a whim. During my Arithmancy O.W.L., one of the proctors mentioned that it might be a good idea to try my hand as a Spell Inventor."

"I thought you spent most of your time nancing over your cauldron and making potions." Petunia interrupted with a scathing tone. "No doubt, making things for junkies in your world to get their fix."

Lily was about to protest her sister's rudeness. Unexpectedly, though, her father did it first.

"Petunia, ENOUGH!" Jasper looked down at his daughter, eyes burning with an uncharacteristic sternness. "Either apologize to Severus or go upstairs."

The blonde teenager's mouth was open in a gasp, looking at her father tearfully. "I...fine. I need to shower anyway." she declared before running out of the kitchen.

"I need to have a serious talk with Petunia…" Jasper huffed in frustration before continuing. "Forgive the interruption, Severus. So Spell-Inventing? Is that even possible?"

"Quite possible!" Lily answered, looking at Severus proudly. "He's done it numerous times already. If Sev is one thing, it's inventive. I don't think I've seen anyone else at school go so far beyond the curriculum that they improve on spells and potions that way."

"What sorts of things do you have in mind then, Mein Schatz?" Dahlie inquired.

Severus was completely at a loss amidst the sea of curiosity the Evans family had shown. There was no end to it, and honestly, he hadn't given much thought to what he wanted to do. All he knew was his mission.

He needed to stop Voldemort. And he knew what it meant to cross the Death Eaters.

"There's a spell...that kills people." he muttered.

Instantly, the carefree mood around the kitchen ceased. Both Jasper and Dahlie looked at each other, and then at their daughter. Lily was just astounded that he had even brought up the Killing Curse in such a casual manner. She had never mentioned the Unforgivables to her parents, rather, she was content to keep them in the dark about the growing perils of the wizarding world.

Sensing the silence around him, Severus continued to let his disjointed thoughts guide his voice. "Nobody really knows how it works. It leaves no sign...no injury...it just purges the life from its target if it connects. One second they're alive, and the next, they're gone...forever." He turned to Lily, his gaze wavering as he looked into her eyes. He imagined the coldness in Voldemort's voice when he murdered Lily with that horrifying curse.

The redheaded girl seemed to understand what was flooding through Severus' mind and merely reached a comforting hand on top of his knee. Selfishly, she had been longing for his touch since going into the shower, but she knew now would be an appropriate time to show her support.

"People...can just cast this spell willy-nilly?" Jasper asked grimly.

"No." Severus shook his head, letting his own hand rest on top of Lily's, gripping it tightly. "The Killing Curse is one of the most powerful spells in our world for a reason. It takes not only power...but intent. You have to absolutely want to kill the person that you cast that spell on. I could say the words right now, to each of you, and nothing would happen. I care too much about you all to do something so unspeakable." he shivered, remembering his own times casting the curse, once on Dumbledore, and the other…

"The only means I've ever heard of someone managing to stop the curse when it was coming their way was to hide behind cover, or to send their own, offensive spell to collide with it. But it's a thin, green beam that travels so quickly...trying to deflect it with such precision is nearly impossible. Protection spells do nothing to stop it; it's completely unblockable, and...nobody can restore life back to the person that has been killed by it."

His voice was shuddering, on the brink of breaking down amidst the loving family surrounding him. The only thing that helped to keep his composure was Lily's own, soft hand, tightening its grip on his.

"What I want...is to find a way to counter it. Dark Wizards come and go in our world, and they always bring pain and misery to the people that inhabit it by taking away those that matter most to them. I want to create a spell...so that nobody else has to endure that pain…However I have to do it, I need to create something that can stop the unstoppable Killing Curse. That's the only way you can fight on level terms with a Dark Wizard..."

As Lily heard Severus alluding to Voldemort, the young Gryffindor could not help herself any longer. She looked to her right, staring into the black eyes of her best friend once the clarity finally spread through her mind.

Jasper was the first to speak.

"That's...very noble of you, Severus. I'll be the first to admit, that I encountered a lot of horrors during the campaign in Germany." he reached across the table, stroking Dahlie's hand. "Lots of friends died. But it was a war. And wars have a tendency of showing you what's most important, the things worth fighting for, and they become the reason you wake up every day. I only hope that you and Lily don't ever have to deal with things like that…"

It wasn't long before the difficult subject was passed over in favor of lighthearted, family conversation once more.

* * *

As they had done the day before, Severus and Lily were seated at their spot in Cokeworth's park. The Slytherin boy had bid farewell to Jasper and Dahlie later that morning, with Lily's parents urging him to stay over whenever he had the time for it, that he was always welcome.

The two, teenage Hogwarts students hadn't spoken once they left the bright, happy home of the Evans family, both of their minds still on the subject that was talked about during breakfast, and in the back of their minds, they were both still thinking about the kiss that started their day.

Lily leaned onto his shoulder, gripping his hand again. "Sev...I'm really proud of you. Who you've become. The things you said at breakfast...I...I didn't realize that you were so focused on this."

"That curse has done more damage to me than anything else." he exhaled, not fighting against her affectionate gesture. "It damaged my soul when I cast it...and destroyed my heart when _he_ did. It's his greatest weapon, the ability to kill anyone for any reason without a shred of remorse...and if I'm going to fight him, I need a way to stop it."

"And I won't argue with you...if this is what you have to do to attain some peace in your life, then it's your journey to make. But Sev...say you beat him. Where does life take you after all of that?" she asked, finally turning to him.

"I don't know..." he admitted, shaking his head. "All I've ever known is fighting and war...peace is something I honestly haven't experienced since I was six years old. Ever since then...chaos. Fighting against my father, fighting against the Marauders, fighting against the Order of the Phoenix, fighting against the Death Eaters in secret...I'm tired of fighting. But this fight...is different. Before, all I cared about was surviving...and after you died, I think I stopped even caring about that. This fight is one that I absolutely HAVE to win...because I know the stakes; I've already seen what happens if I lose."

Again, the silence swept over the two of them like a blanket, and they merely continued to sit, content in each other's company.

This time, it was Severus who broke the silence.

"Are you going to tell me what this morning was about?"

"I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific…" Lily dodged his question, her lips curling into a smile.

"Why did you kiss me?" he shoved the words out before his tongue caught in his throat.

"Well…" she paused, a thoughtful silence as she tried to articulate her response. "Why don't you tell me why you kissed me back..?"

Severus snorted. "You know why…I already told you, during my little outburst, assuming you remember it."

"I do…" her smile widened. "The big, mean Slytherin Professor with his cold, frozen heart...You melted into that kiss...for the same reason that I gave it to you in the first place, Sev."

His head slowly turned towards hers, feeling that familiar lurch in his stomach as the abyss opened once more. He wanted to ask what she meant by that, but his body was paralyzed by those green eyes boring holes through him.

Severus hadn't been able to ask the question before she spoke again, as if she anticipated it. "The exact, same reason." she elaborated. "It's why I want to do it again…"

"Stop it! Stop this ridiculous teasing, Lily!" Severus protested, feeling his heart beating rapidly. There was an expectant look in his eyes that betrayed his hostile tone, one that almost asked the question already echoing in his mind.

'_Why haven't you done it then?'_

"I keep my word, Sev...I said I'd only do it once...if you enjoyed it half as much as I did...then it's up to you to do it next time. I'm not going back on that...if you want something...you're going to have to reach out and have the courage to do it like I did."

He didn't think it was possible for his heart to beat any faster. "I'm not like you sodding Gryffindors! I don't live with my heart on my sleeve!"

Lily merely reached her hand out and pressed it to his heart, over the Mark of Apeiron. She could feel each beat crashing against his chest with all the force of a string of blasting curses. "Stop lying...and stop hiding." her soft voice beckoned.

"I know how this ends!" Severus snapped, his eyes full of fear. "Potter...you'll choose him...then you'll go off and make the precious, little chosen one of the wizarding world. That was the one blessing about losing you the last time...I'm not going to be there as the one you turn to talk about how bloody annoying he is or how happy he makes you, or some amusing anecdote about your son! I refuse to be the best friend of James Potter's wife!"

"For God's sake, Sev, stop it!" Lily shouted, grasping him by the shoulders. "I'm sixteen years old...I don't even know what the hell I'll eat tomorrow, let alone who I marry or have children with! Harry Potter is 'The Boy Who Lived' from the world you left behind. Whether he is born in this world or not isn't going to matter, because the one who is going to stop Voldemort is YOU! I know that, and believe it with all my heart. I'm here...right now...holding the person that I want. The only possible way I could fall into James Potter's arms is if YOU make the choice not to accept that!"

Severus was still as a statue, listening to her words. The declaration that she wanted him...him, and not someone else, sent a numbness through his body. His eyes were locked on those emeralds, which held a delicate balance of frustration and desire.

"If you want to be with me, then BE WITH ME! The genie is out of the bottle; I know how you feel. But...knowing how you feel isn't enough. Love and desire are a two-way street, Sev. I can't be with you if all you're going to do is blush whenever I'm dressed in a manner to your liking. I can't be the one to initiate physical affection every time. I need to know that I mean enough to you that you're willing to step forward and fight for what you want and not stay at the sidelines like some spineless child! You're the bravest person I know...please don't let your fears ruin this…"

Lily got to her feet, looking down at him, those green eyes looking as fragile as shattered glass. "I know how much you fear being abandoned...which is why I'm going out on a limb...right now. Meet me there, Sev...if you want me...if you want me to be yours this time around, then take the advice I gave you this morning...Have the courage to show me that desire."

The Muggleborn witch held out a gentle hand, with a pleading look on her face.

Severus reached out, fingers shaking nervously, and took her hand. As Lily's face lightened, she tried to help him up to meet her…

Except he pulled her back down, firmly, but not violently. Letting out a yelp of surprise, the redhead stumbled forward and landed in his lap...and less than a second later, she was in his arms as he pulled her in for a kiss.

The moment their lips touched, they both knew it would be even better than it was that morning. There was no initial awkwardness; the passion they had built to was there instantly this time. His hands were roaming through her loose, flowing hair. One of her arms was draped around his neck, while the other pulled him in by the small of his back. And by some miracle...he had been leading the kiss this time. His tongue was the one that teased along her lips in between each quick breath.

Lily had honestly lost count of how many times they had kissed. There was a mixture of long and short, pecks and full kisses, and every minute or so, she pulled away, giving him a beaming smile before he pulled her back in for more.

By the time they were done, Lily and Severus were once again in that protective, armor-like embrace that she had woken up to. The tightness was not suffocating, but warming. In many ways, it was the same feeling that Lily could recall when her mother tucked her in for bed every night when she was younger. She sighed in contentment, nuzzling her face into his neck before giving it a loving kiss.

"So...can I send an owl to my friends and tell them that I have a wonderful, new boyfriend, or must that remain a secret?"

"No more secrets…" Severus whispered, his fingers stroking up and down her spine, sending wonderful tingles through her. "I spent an entire life keeping secrets and living in the shadows. I'm not wasting another second of this one…"

**Author's Note: Now THAT was a challenge to write. For such a long time, I've played tennis in my mind, bouncing the ball back and forth on how I finally wanted to do this. But rest assured, I did always want to do it. Sev and Lily are a couple. In case nobody noticed, I also changed the characters in the title to reflect the pairing. I can finally stop being so cryptic about it (if it wasn't already obvious where this was heading).**

**I didn't know what twists and turns I wanted to throw in it; I was unsure if I wanted to have a brief fling with James Potter or just a standoff between Severus and Lily going into sixth year. ****But the truth of the matter is that I don't see how Lily could connect with James in any way with all that Severus has done and shown her. Hell, even in the best of circumstances, with Severus completely out of her life, it wasn't until seventh year that Lily finally got together with James. If I'm going to have a conflict and a lover's tension between Sev and Lily with James getting in the way, it has to make sense, and I honestly just couldn't figure out how to make it organic at all.**

**There's another option that I've seen some "Back in Time" fanfictions resort to, but I couldn't even find a way to make THAT way work. The self-sacrifice of Lily resigning herself to getting together with James because it would result in Harry's conception. That whole, fatalist mindset really doesn't make sense in the mind of a teenager, especially when Lily has all the proof that she needs right in front of her that things can be different this time.**

**However, the fatalist, martyr mindset goes incredibly well with Severus, hence his fearful declaration that Lily would leave and still get together with James. But luckily, she shook him out of it before it took root into something that could ruin them.**

**This fanfiction started a year and a half ago. There have been a number of delays, and numerous other "Back in Time" stories have cropped up since then, each of which have their own, amazing direction, but I'm glad I've come this far in that time. Over 100,000 words (if you include the rambling I do in these Author's Notes) and counting. **

**This chapter also marks the end of the first "arc" of Tempus Vita. The stage has been set, all of the major points I wanted to introduce: Severus' revival, the pain of his past, the changes he showed, the trust Lily gained for him, the big reveal to Lily, his goal to stop Voldemort and the Death Eaters, the Mark of Apeiron, and the beginning of the real relationship of Lily and Sev.**

**Now that the stage is set, it's time to move forward, into the second arc. **

**I'm so happy that you all have followed along for this long, and each of you that has taken the time to post well-written, thought-provoking reviews, I can't thank you all enough. To name a few, I really want to thank hidden-muse-989 (it's been awhile since I've seen you, I hope everything's okay, and I hope you've enjoyed this past year's writing assuming you've read it), JLdark (the way you binge-read each chapter this summer, reviewing everything along the way, it really meant a lot during my break), Stephair (even though you're new, I REALLY enjoyed your review of Chapter 27) and the numerous other reviews that really have made a difference in my motivation to continue, as well as suggesting things that I may not have thought of.**

**I can't say it enough, I really do rely on those reviews as a way of gauging what my audience wants, so please, if you enjoy reading Tempus Vita and look forward to the second arc, PLEASE send in those reviews. They really do help.**

**I don't think it will be that long until I get started on the next chapter considering how quickly I've managed these past couple of weeks, but in the meantime, I hope you all have enjoyed, and please take care!**


	31. Chapter 30: Lazy Summer Days

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, scenarios, or concepts from the Harry Potter universe. Much of the wandlore in this chapter is referenced directly from the information on Pottermore.**

As the weeks rolled on through the Summer, Eileen Snape had finally landed a job at Slug and Jiggers Apothecary in Diagon Alley. At first, she required her son's help to get there via side-along Apparition. A week or so into her tenure there, however, the woman finally mustered the courage to try it herself after Severus gave her a few refreshers on the motions to go through, and to always follow the Three D's. With a renewed faith in herself as a witch, Eileen was able to work at the Potion Shop four days a week, and the money she was bringing in was able to sustain them somewhat comfortably.

One of the things that seemed to heal the damaged witch's heart the most was her trip to Ollivander's with her son at her side. The old wandmaker seemed shocked to see Eileen again after so long.

"Miss Eileen Prince...has it been 27 years since last I saw you..?"

Hearing her maiden name prompted Eileen to wish to correct Mr. Ollivander out of instinct to her now estranged husband, but...somehow, it sounded right, walking back into the magical world, ready to take another wand, being addressed by her old name.

"It has, sir." she bowed humbly, before turning to Severus. "Though, I believe you have had the pleasure of selling a wand to my son."

"Your son...oh!" he marvelled, looking at the young Slytherin. "Mr...Snape was it? Forgive me...I knew there was something familiar about you when I met you...I hadn't realized that you had a son, Miss Prince." The wandmaker gently made his way around the counter, giving Severus a bit more attention. "As I recall...Ebony. 13 ½ inches, with a dragon heartstring core. Particularly adept in many forms of magic, yet unyielding in its owner's beliefs."

Severus nodded absentmindedly, not wanting to turn this into a discussion about himself, more concerned with helping his mother obtain a new wand.

"I'd be more impressed if you could remember mine, sir." Eileen spoke with a shy smile. "After all these years I've been away from the wizarding world...I fear I don't even remember it."

"Hm...as I recall, yours was...Rowan. 8 ¾ inches, with a unicorn hair as its core. I noted then that it was a wand of supreme protection and an affinity for the side of light...defensive charms were its specialty. What happened to it, if you don't mind my asking..?"

Upon hearing the nature of her wand, Eileen bowed her head in shame. "Protective...what a laugh...I couldn't protect myself, or my son…"

Severus interrupted her by placing a hand on her shoulder, shaking his head. "Stop right there, Mum. Don't even start going down that path again. We're here for a reason." He turned to Mr. Ollivander. "Sir, we're here to get a new wand for my mother because she had forsaken magic for personal reasons. Needless to say, those reasons aren't...in the picture anymore. Can you help her find a new match..?"

"I believe we can. Let us first try this one...Cypress, 10 inches exactly, with a hair from the same unicorn as your previous wand, Miss Prince…"

And so, Ollivander went through at least two dozen wands, each failure causing Eileen's despair to grow that perhaps nothing would match her anymore, that Tobias had broken her.

Disappointment turned into triumph for Eileen and Severus both, however, when she was handed a beautiful wand crafted from a rich, hazel wood, which seemed to have a slight twist above its handle. The moment the wand touched her fingers, a gentle, azure light seemed to pour forth from the tip.

"Astounding...curious indeed…" The old wizard whispered with a bemused expression. "Most of the times I've dealt with finding a suitable replacement for a lost or broken wand, oftentimes the answer lies in something similar to its predecessor. Either a match in the wood or the core. But this wand...Hazel, measuring at 11 ½ inches, contains a phoenix tailfeather. Slightly springy in terms of its flexibility...And it's noticeably longer than your old wand as well…"

Eileen seemed fascinated by the wandmaker's explanation, equally entranced the the light still shining from its tip.

"The intriguing thing about this combination is that hazel wands are well-known for their almost symbiotic relationship with their owners. Their emotional health is often the catalyst for their magic. And as such...if its owner dies, the wand tends to lose some of itself with them, and in the case of a core of unicorn hair, the wand simply ceases to function. One can think of the three cores we use as a trinity. Phoenix feather often is associated with birth, unicorn hair for life, and dragon heartstring for death. Naturally, there are numerous additional cores that other wandmakers like to experiment with, but my family has always found this trinity to be the most telling way to gauge a witch or wizard's potential.

"The abnormality here is that...this is the only wand of its kind. Of course, every wand is special and unique, but this one is the only hazel wand I have ever crafted, let alone heard about, to accept a phoenix feather as its core. To be honest, I'm unsure of what potential it holds...though I can assure you, that it's a wand of unmatched quality, capable of casting all manner of spells with immense power, provided you stay in-tune with your heart. Until today, I kept it as a curiosity. I'm glad to see that it can take its place out in the world. Keep it close, Miss Prince...it would not shock me to see this wand perform extraordinary things..."

After purchasing his mother's new wand, Severus bid her farewell as she crossed the bustling street of Diagon Alley to start her work day at the apothecary, while he rounded a corner to apparate back to Spinner's End…

* * *

As for Severus, he had finally settled into a routine during the Summer. Almost all of his free time went into transforming the inside of the Snape household in Spinner's End, and after a great deal of work, it was finally an abode worthy of a witch and her teenage son.

The stench of alcohol and tobacco, which had been an ever-present cloak over the home while Tobias resided there, was finally purged by extensive use of the scouring charm. The brown carpeting, long-ruined from numerous spilled bottles and general lack of upkeep, was entirely replaced by a sensible cedar, hardwood floor.

The wallpaper throughout the house, which was stained and peeling off, had been removed and thrown away. Severus insisted upon painting the walls himself, and the entirety of the living areas were painted with a mixture of olive green and urban gray. Save for one room.

The third bedroom upstairs, which served as a cluttered mess of a storage room for Tobias' horde of football collectibles, had finally been cleaned out and a soft, full-sized bed was put inside. Unlike everything else, this room had been painted red, as he had no plans for any particular guests but one..

It took a great deal of courage for Severus to ask Lily to stay the night for the first time, as until this Summer, she'd never even set foot in the house, let alone spent any significant time there. That was by his own design. For many years, the Snape Household at Spinner's End was a place of misery and regret, and even though he had transformed it into a proper wizarding home, he was still nervous, fearful that it wouldn't meet the standards that Lily had at the Evans' home.

"I think it's brilliant…" Lily had told him when she set foot in her guest room the first time. His heart was still fluttering at the memory...when she pulled him onto the bed and they engaged in another passionate series of kisses.

The reality was that Lily was his girlfriend, despite her knowing so much of his sullied, former life. In fact, it almost served in his favor. She knew of his mistakes, and still forgave him, because of everything he had demonstrated to her in his memories and testimonies of the past.

For all of the dreaming and fantasizing that he had done, wondering what life with Lily's affections would have been like, it was surprisingly similar to how it had always been. Their conversations had been like a delicate waltz back and forth on a ballroom floor. They would talk...discuss life, engage in playful banter, and just spend time basking in the other's presence. That's how it had always been before the days of his obsession with the Dark Arts. And that's how it was now, just with an emphasis on their physical forms of affection.

The Summer Holidays had dragged on through to the middle of July, and one such night with his beloved was spent upstairs at Spinner's End.

"I wonder if this always could have happened…" Severus sighed. They were cuddling on the bed in her guest room, looking out the open window to the starry sky. "If I could have had this the first time...had I known what was truly important to me…"

"I dunno…" Lily yawned, rubbing her tired eyes. "But...for what it's worth, I'm glad things turned out the way they did."

They had been laying on the bed with his back to her, and she gently placed an arm around his chest, stroking it absentmindedly. "Not because you had to endure so much pain, of course...but...I don't think I would have ever liked you quite as much if you hadn't transformed into this…" she paused, trying to search for the word. "This...hero."

Severus scoffed. "A hero...hardly. Heroes die and sacrifice themselves like fools…" He turned back to look over his shoulder and into her eyes. "Kind of like you...well...the other you."

Lily's lips formed a sleepy grin. "A fool, am I..? Well...perhaps. But...being a hero has its perks as well...don't you think?" she kissed his cheek and sighed happily.

"Ask me once I actually earn that title…" he droned with exhaustion, caressing her hand in his before drifting off to sleep next to her.

* * *

The next morning, Severus awoke with a start, hearing a loud tapping on the window.

"Really..?" he groaned, the sight of the owl on the other side of his window obscured by the blinding sunlight behind it.

"Mmmhm...it's early, don't you think..?" Lily shook her head as she started to stir, equally annoyed that their pleasant sleep had been disrupted by an owl clutching a rather large envelope at what seemed entirely too early an hour for mail.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming, you beast…" Severus snapped, getting out of bed and opening the window in order to let the owl fly inside.

By this point, Lily had already adjusted so she was lounging on the bed, holding her head up. She reached for the brown-feathered owl and gently stroked its head. "It's from Hogwarts, Sev…" She noted the school emblem on the back of the envelope. "Do you think it's your O.W.L.s?" she asked rather excitedly.

"No…" he shook his head, sitting back down on the bed next to her. "The Ministry handles those, but I imagine we'll be seeing those soon." he turned to the owl, placing a knut in its beak. "Off you go...honestly, I think I'd prefer a raven…"

Sensing the boy's rude remark, the owl nipped at his finger before accepting the payment and flying away before Severus could curse it into oblivion, which sent Lily into a fit of giggles. "You deserved that one, Sev!"

"Bloody bird…" he mumbled in defeat before taking the letter into his hands. There was something odd about it. The envelope felt strangely heavy, like there was something moving around inside. He dropped it instantly, making for his wand.

"Sev?! What's wrong?" Lily asked in surprise, reaching down for the envelope.

"Don't touch that!" he bellowed, stopping her before she could pick it up. "There's no telling what's inside there…"

"Seriously, Sev, it's from Hogwarts! Stop acting like the whole bloody world is a deathtrap when the problems haven't really come to a head yet..." Lily huffed in frustration, ignoring his protest and ripping it open at one end. She held it up, and a shiny, metal piece of jewelry clanged onto the floor.

Immediately, their eyes locked onto it...silver and green...Lily's eyes lit up and she grinned, while Severus let out a groan, all of the caution out of his voice gone, and in its place, sheer annoyance.

"No...please...for Merlin's sake, I specifically told them not to…"

Lily picked it up off the floor, letting its metal surface shine brilliantly in the sunlight. "It's a Prefect Badge!"

"Gods, why?!" he pounded his fist into the plush bed before sliding the enclosed letter out of the envelope still in Lily's hands. "Who's responsible for…" he trailed off into silence before his frustrations grew. He recognized that neat, deliberate handwriting anywhere. "Do me a favor...and read this. My head might explode if I do it myself…" Severus huffed, handing it to Lily.

The redheaded girl took a moment to run a hand through her long, messy hair before obliging her boyfriend.

"Dear Mr. Snape,

I hope this letter finds you in good spirits, and that your Summer holiday has been treating you well. Firstly, I would once again like to thank you for the character and heroism you showed in the final two weeks at Hogwarts. Your efforts to halt the malevolent behavior of several of your housemates was admirable, and would serve as a shining example for the rest in your house, who may not have had the courage to stand up as you have. In these darkest of times, we often look to our peers if we do not have the answers.

"It is with this fact in mind that I have taken it upon myself to forego a certain rule regarding two Prefects per House, and if your recent behavior is any indication, it will serve as a message that not all in Slytherin House believe in the false ideals of a certain wizard who darkens our world with worse news each passing day. This appointment of a third Slytherin Prefect also comes as a recommendation from your Head of House, Professor Horace Slughorn."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Of course Slughorn would shirk his duties as a House Head and just let me do all the work for him.

Lily just shook her head, unable to take the smile off her face as she continued to read.

"Naturally, a Prefect's list of responsibilities is quite vast, as I'm sure your friend, Miss Evans, will attest to."

She perked her head up at the last sentence. "Girlfriend." she corrected, before continuing. "Upon receiving your O.W.L. results from the Ministry of Magic, we will expect you to hand in the finalized list of N.E.W.T. level courses you will be signing up for, keeping in mind the requirements that each Professor has set with the students in their advanced classes. Given your unusual status as a third Prefect of Slytherin House, I will have a slightly different set of expectations for you, and will be happy to shed light on those expectations following the Start-of-Term Feast. I do have a particular likeness for Sugar Quills."

Lily stopped for a moment, looking back up. "I'm pretty sure that's his way of telling you-"

"His office password, I know." Severus interrupted with a snort. "Honestly, even this far back, he was this obsessed with his sweets."

"As always, I do wish you the best on your time off, and I hope your holidays have given you clarity on what the...the heart needs to flourish in the sun, rather than wilt in the shadows…Until September, stay true. Albus Dumbledore."

"Why does that man insist on being so obvious about being vague? It's by far his worst feature, his art of beating around the bush when I know that he's likely the one responsible." Severus moaned in defeat, resting his head on Lily's lap, looking up into her eyes. "So even in this life, I'm stuck doing Dumbledore's bidding. Nowhere in that letter was I even given a choice of this most unusual position."

"Well…" Lily looked down at him, caressing his tired face. "Look on the bright side...us Prefects get our own bathroom…"

In all her years of knowing Severus, Lily had never seen him turn so red in her life.

**Author's Note: This is a very different style of writing a chapter than I have done before, by necessity mostly. I covered most of the major events I wanted to hit during the first month and a half of summer following Lily and Sev becoming a couple. Once the Hogwarts schoolyear starts anew, I believe I'll be shifting back to my traditional style of focusing on one major thing at a time. Summers are tricky to handle, as there's no school, and very little can be done until Severus and Lily are of age and the trace is broken. So this chapter, and the one to follow, are likely going to seem a bit jarring, but rest assured, it's not going to be a permanent shift.**

**The first major thing I wanted was to continue Eileen Snape's development as a character. We will see more of her as time goes on, and the scene at Ollivander's, when she obtains a new wand is a very important one that I deliberately set knowing what's ahead.**

**Regarding something that I've seen a lot of "Back in Time" stories cover, most notably, His Greatest Wish. Many times I've seen Severus and Eileen forsake the name Snape and become Princes. As far as Eileen is concerned, I've considered that as an idea, and even incorporated what may blossom into such a plot point in Ollivander's quirk of speaking to her by her maiden name. If she takes the name Prince again, she will be the only one, as I have no desire in seeing the name Severus Prince in another fanfiction with the others that have done it better than I could.**

**The other reason I do not desire to go too far into the whole Prince vs Snape last name ordeal is because numerous people seem to be of the mindset that the Prince line is absurdly wealthy and influential in the Wizarding World, when I've seen very little evidence of that. They're a pure-blood family, yes, but not all pure-bloods are aristocratic nobles who have estates big enough for their own zip code, or a pool filled with Golden Galleons ready to dive in like Scrooge McDuck. I'm still trying to get my thoughts straight on what I want to do regarding the Prince family line, but I doubt there's going to be a Gringotts Vault filled with huge piles of money waiting on the other side for Eileen even if she does change her name back.**

**And yes, Severus is a Prefect. I couldn't resist shafting him with that big boat anchor of a responsibility going into sixth year. But as Lily says...it does have its perks.**

**More Severus/Lily to come in the next (and probably final) Summer chapter, as well as a trip to Diagon Alley, and a disturbing article from the Daily Prophet. As always, thank you for your support, the favorites, the follows, and most importantly, the reviews! I can't stress enough, it means everything to me to see what you enjoy in writing, to hear your own theories, or your own desires/concerns as to what's to come. PLEASE review if you can, I really do enjoy them.**


	32. Chapter 31: Good News and Bad News

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, ideas, or scenarios from the Harry Potter universe. No profit was made in the writing of this fanfiction**

_Lily's eyes struggled to look through the haze of dust and the dim light of the sun peeking over the horizon as night began to fall. She was running...running alongside what seemed like hundreds of other people. Her eyes scanned the crowd...some faces were familiar. James...Remus...Mary...as well as others that she didn't recognize, but she knew Hogwarts robes anywhere…_

_The Muggleborn girl was so distracted with her surroundings that she almost tripped over a body...a figure clad in thin, black robes...The man was completely bald...staring up at the sky above with dead, unseeing red eyes. His face was almost snake-like...slits for nostrils. Lily didn't recognize the face as she looked at it, but it certainly wasn't from lack of how horrifying it was._

_Looking past the dead wizard, Lily drew in a breath of terror, seeing someone very familiar, fallen on the ground not too far ahead. His black hair was more neatly trimmed...his body covered with a few more scars than she remembered, but it was definitely him. Severus was laying on the grassy field, taking in light, labored breaths._

_She saw it...the Mark of Apeiron...pouring forth an otherworldly, azure glow that stretched across Severus' whole body like it was some kind of aura. And as she looked into Severus' eyes for some sign of what was causing this phenomenon, the wonders didn't cease...where she expected to see the calming, black pools that she could almost drown in for hours...she was shocked to see a pair of shining, blue eyes staring weakly back at her._

_The roar of the crowd immediately vanished as Lily sat next to him, clutching his hand for dear life as she looked into his enchanted, glowing eyes, begging for some sign of what was going on. Then she heard something that absolutely shattered her heart...she heard the weak, gasping voice of Severus…_

"_Lily..."_

_His voice was so weak, it was almost impossible to hear. There was also the booming noise of the crowd, full of faces that seemed to be celebrating...not even noticing or caring that Severus lay there, seemingly at Death's Door._

_Severus opened his mouth again, his body shaking and convulsing. "Lily...I...I…"_

_But he was interrupted by her own, voice, screaming something back at him. What it was, she didn't even register, too shocked and too hurt at the sight to do anything but sob. Slowly, the scene began to vanish...but the echoing voice did not._

"_Lily...I…"_

"_Lily…I…"_

* * *

"Lily? I'm sorry, but it's time to wake up." she heard the gentle voice next to her.

"Mm...Hm..?" she moaned, opening her eyes groggily and seeing Severus staring down at her with concern. "...Sev?"

"That took far more effort than it usually does. Quite a feat considering one could easily mistake you for a hibernating animal while you're asleep." Severus whispered, his lips curled upward in a very light smirk.

"Ngh...not all of us can wake up at the sound of a pin dropping." she quipped back with exhaustion, rubbing her eyes and giving him a playful slap on his shoulder.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." he defended himself with a shrug before concern etched itself into his gaze. "Did you have another nightmare about the Astronomy Tower? You seemed quite distressed."

"Um...not really." Lily yawned. She wasn't sure if the dream had any symbolism or meaning. Severus was here, and very much alright, so there really wasn't any purpose in dwelling on it further. "What time is it?"

"Eight o' clock."

"Time to wake up? Sev, you KNOW how much I hate waking up early during the holidays…" Lily grumbled, shaking her head.

Severus held up a pair of envelopes, each with the seal of the Ministry of Magic, and both of which were addressed to Spinner's End. "Well, I thought you just might like to know that O.W.L.s have arrived."

"Honestly...how does the wizarding world keep tabs on us so well that they knew I was staying here tonight?" she chuckled.

"It's the trace. Believe me, once it lifts, wizards and witches are no easier to find than Muggles. The only time the post can really get it exact is when we're still underage." Severus looked at Lily's fingers, which were hovering over the seal of the envelope, looking ready to open it. "...Well? What are you waiting for?"

"You first." Lily pursed her lips. "...I'm nervous. And at least I can put it off just a bit longer since I can imagine how well a 38-year old wizard did on a test meant for a teenager…"

"Never mind that half of these are going to be exactly the same as they were in my first life…" Severus scoffed, ripping his envelope open without a further word and letting his eyes glide over the paper.

Lily couldn't decipher Severus' expression as he silently folded the paper with what seemed like disinterest. "...Well?" she asked.

"Pretty boring, really. Just two things that weren't there the last time I received these..." Severus handed Lily the page, and just as he had done, she read his grades silently.

Arithmancy: O*

Astronomy: O

Charms: O

Defense Against the Dark Arts: O*

Herbology: O

History of Magic: O

Potions: O* **

Study of Ancient Runes: O

Transfiguration: O

* Denotes exceptional abilities in both theory and practical application of subject.

** Students have performed sufficiently at the Ordinary Wizarding Level (O.W.L.) and qualified for Alchemy Elective (if desired)

"Well...seems my boyfriend is a genius." Lily beamed as she looked back up at him. "No surprise, really. Alchemy? That's really exciting!"

"Curious, really...I don't recall that being an option the first time I made it into sixth year. It requires that enough students make it into N.E.W.T. level Potions classes for it to even be offered...something that's never happened at all during my time as a student or a professor. I wonder how that came about…" Severus whispered in confusion.

"I dunno...nothing really could have changed just by you being here, could it..?" Lily asked, her green eyes shimmering in the morning sun as she tried to come up with an explanation. Within a few moments, her smile from before returned, but even wider, if such a thing was possible. "I've got it! Mary!" she chirped gleefully. "We had a study session with her before the Potions exam...helped her on the Draught of Peace!"

"...You're joking…" Severus snorted. "...One person's grade made all the difference and allowed one of the most elusive classes in all of Hogwarts to become available?"

"Not everything has some big, mysterious explanation, Sev." Lily giggled. "You know how much the Ministry loves its bloody quotas. I wonder if enough eligible students will want to take it?"

"Count me in. I'm all for a new experience at Hogwarts that I might actually learn something from." he declared with a thin smile. It was the first time since meeting this new Severus that Lily had seen a hint of that boyish excitement grace his features, and it caught her off guard as she stared at him in a momentary silence.

"...Alright. Enough stalling." Severus prodded, breaking her trance. "Open yours. I never got to see them...on account of my teenage stupidity."

"Right." she let out a massive breath, ripping the seal of her own envelope, almost ashamed that she had waited. Severus' grades would be such a difficult act to follow, and she prepared for the worst as she unfolded the paper and glanced down to where the grades were listed.

Astronomy: O

Charms: O*

Defense Against the Dark Arts: E

Divination: O

Herbology: O

History of Magic: O

Potions: O* **

Study of Ancient Runes: E

Transfiguration: O

* Denotes exceptional abilities in both theory and practical application of subject.

** Students have performed sufficiently at the Ordinary Wizarding Level (O.W.L.) and qualified for Alchemy Elective (if desired)

Lily smiled awkwardly as her eyes rose from the page and looked into Severus' black eyes. "Well...it's hardly as impressive as straight O's." she sighed as she handed the page to him.

"On the contrary...it's quite impressive. Charms and Potions, both with the exceptional asterisk. For someone that doesn't have the advantage of my age...impressive indeed."

"Ancient Runes I can accept. That Defense mark though…" Lily groaned, hiding her face with her hands in embarrassment. "...All because of that bloody Boggart."

Severus boldly reached forward and gently took her hands into his. "That won't be an issue anymore. Come N.E.W.T.s...I promise, your Defense marks will be among the best. I'll help with whatever you need."

"...Sev…" Lily whispered blissfully, wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing him in for a loving kiss. "...I'm almost nervous. I'm positive my Boggart will be different now...I don't have that stupid fear anymore."

"Doesn't matter. No matter what your fears are...you'll learn to conquer them."

A few moments of the hug passed silently before Severus sighed.. "...Something else came. Mum just got a subscription to the Daily Prophet...and I wasn't particularly keen on ignoring this one…"

Lily turned a curious eye towards the nightstand that the Newspaper was folded upon, her eyes widening once she saw the front page, with a moving photo of a face they both recognized too well. The scowling, hateful gaze of Evan Rosier stared back at them. The heading over the photo read ominously. **PRISONER ESCAPES BEFORE ARRIVAL TO AZKABAN.**

"No…" Lily choked back a breath, shaking her head in disbelief as she reached for the newspaper and began reading it with urgency.

"Last night, sixteen-year old Evan Rosier was being escorted to Azkaban Prison by boat, with what is reported to be no less than four members of the Auror Office on guard. Upon arrival to Azkaban, the ferry was inspected, and the bodies of the guards were found dead, with no sign of Rosier. The condition of the bodies, as well as the damage to the ferry itself, suggests that stowaway passengers had infiltrated the ship with the intention of freeing the prisoner, although no clues were found implicating any such accomplice.

"Rosier is still at large, having recently been found guilty of using the Cruciatus Curse on a fellow student while attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"I suppose his delightful cousin Bellatrix was behind the attack." Severus hissed in quiet fury, looking at the photo of the teenage boy with his teeth clenched, the memory of what had been done to Lily still fresh in his mind. "She always did have a knack for leaving collateral damage."

"What are we going to do..?" Lily whispered, a hint of fear in her voice. "You know he's going to blame you for what happened...and if she's that close to Voldemort-"

"Then I can officially say goodbye to remaining neutral in this little war." Severus shook his head in frustration. "Which means...I'm going to have to go to Dumbledore and explain everything the moment we get back to Hogwarts."

Lily's shallow breaths were calmed by the sudden sensation of her boyfriend's arms wrapped protectively around her, and she felt the warm touch of his lips upon her forehead, followed shortly by his voice in her ear. "...He's not going to touch you again. None of them will…I promise."

Even if the promise might have been too good to be true...having Severus so close...hearing his voice so focused...she believed it with all her heart.

**Author's Note: It's been a bit of a wait, and for that, I apologize. I realize that this chapter might not have been the longest, but I feel that enough was introduced to have it be separate from the trip to Diagon Alley for school supplies.**

**Rosier's been busted out by what is undoubtedly a Death Eater ambush, and I can promise that it's not the last that Severus and Lily have seen of the guy. He'll have much to learn, but as a wanted criminal, there's really no place to go but up in the ranks of the Death Eaters.**

**I thought it'd be a nice, lighthearted little change of pace to also include Sev and Lily's O.W.L. grades, and also have it serve as a little preview to Alchemy Class! It's definitely one of the least explored elements of the Harry Potter universe, and one that I'd love to include (if for no other reason than to give Severus a subject that he hasn't mastered already.) **

**As far as I'm aware, there is no prerequisite for Alchemy besides just requiring enough interest from students, but my interpretation has always been that Alchemy and Potions go hand in hand. The ideas are so fundamentally similar, and in a lot of fantasy universes, Potions are just another part of Alchemy as a whole, so that's why I included the little idea that you needed enough Students Eligible for N.E.W.T.-level Potions in order to warrant the option of an Alchemy class to begin with. I also thought it would be a nice little way to illustrate the positive changes that Severus is having on Hogwarts besides just with Lily, and who better to demonstrate this than Mary?**

**As for Lily's dream at the start of the chapter...well, I'll leave it to you to decide what it means, if anything.**

**AS ALWAYS, please, I greatly appreciate any and all reviews that this story receives. If you enjoyed the read, don't just tell me that you did, tell me specifics, what you liked, what you'd like to see more of, your ideas and theories for certain plot points, etc. THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPPORT!**


	33. Author's Note

Author's Note:

Hello, everyone! I realize it's been a while since my last chapter of Tempus Vita, and I apologize if this isn't the update many of you would have hoped to see, but I'm going to be as honest as I can.

I have struggled with the next chapter at least a dozen times over the past four months, trying to lead into a proper way to continue the story. The issue is this: I read the old chapters and I'm disappointed in how quickly the pacing was done. Think about it this way: it was less than two weeks before Severus and Lily got together following his rebirth. There was struggle, but I feel it wasn't realistically drawn out. Everything happened too fast, and unless I throw in a breakup, there isn't a lot that's going to keep the reader invested in their relationship. If anything, Severus and Lily really shouldn't have gotten back to best friend terms until midsummer at the least, and certainly romance should have taken a lot longer than that to develop.

At the same time, Sev's emotional instability and him learning about the Mark, it led to its payoff far too quickly for me looking back. There's other things too, such as the fact that his inner spy should not have so quickly melted down and rebelled against the other Slytherins. Escalation should have probably happened much later.

I'm met with a bit of an issue right now; I BADLY want to go back and start this story over, giving it the pacing and detail for things to be more realistic. Obviously, Harry Potter is a fantasy fiction universe, but I feel that the characters at least should have been explored in greater detail. Severus essentially got a massive payoff of everyone's trust within a week, and looking at my story's theme of rebirth as a whole, it's almost laughable to think that people's perceptions could be altered so quickly.

The same holds true with him helping Eileen out of her suicidal mindset. That is something that needed to be drawn out over at least a summer, if not the Christmas Holidays as well.

I'm still debating on whether to pull the trigger and begin writing the reboot or not. Obviously some people may just be wanting the story to move forward instead of backward, but I really left myself no great character developments. The battle lines were drawn, Severus and Lily are already together, and he's aware of how his magical core works now.

The idea is to tell the same story, but with greater detail and much more realistic pacing. The end goal is the same. It IS a Severus and Lily fanfiction, after all. But as a person who loves to write and is always striving to improve, I can't help but look back on the first fifteen or so chapters and shake my head at how hasty I was in handling everything.

What do YOU think? Am I just being silly and should just continue, or are there much greater improvements I could make? Please, let me know your thoughts in the reviews!


	34. Viridi

Hello again, everyone! I wanted to just inform you all that the reboot to Tempus Vita (titled Viridi, also in Latin, but I find it to be a much more fitting name) has begun!

As I mentioned previously, Viridi is going to follow the same general story direction that Tempus Vita did, albeit with far more detail and care put into my writing. In particular, I feel that the earlier parts of Tempus Vita needed the most work. In addition, some things will be changed along the way, while others will be delayed or given more time to flesh out organically. It is true that Tempus Vita passed over 100,000 words, and I am so proud that I was able to put that much into it. But I know I can do better, and I want to do right by my favorite character in all of literature.

Does this mean the end of Tempus Vita in its current form? Yes and no. The story will remain up for those who were fans of the original. I don't expect to make any further updates to this one, and encourage all of you who are fans of Tempus Vita to give it a fair shot. Today I posted the prologue, and already, I feel it was handled far better than the prologue of the original.

There may also be certain references to the things that happened in Tempus Vita further down the line in Viridi, and I already have one particular plot point in mind that was NOT in the original skeleton of TV. Said plot point is going to be a massive nod to Tempus Vita, so don't think that the story ends there!

Viridi is going in the same direction, I assure you. Originally with Tempus Vita, I wanted to keep a sense of mystery as to how Lily and Severus would go, but as many of you already read, I couldn't hold it in any longer than Chapter 29. I simply love these two characters and wished wholeheartedly to put them together in a way that felt organic, without throwing any characters (Dumbledore, James Potter, etc.) under the bus, while not whitewashing Severus or Lily.

If there is some massive backlash to the reboot, I apologize. It's not my intention to disappoint any of you. After all, your reviews and support were instrumental at getting Tempus Vita to nearly 650 reviews and followers, over 440 favorites, and a staggering 147,000 reads. Those are numbers that I don't take lightly, and I want to give 150% of everything I can to the fanfiction so I can take pride in it, and so you all can enjoy it as well as you can.

With that said, feel free to go on over to Viridi and give the prologue a read and review! We're just getting started with it, and already, I have a feeling that it's going to be even better than it was before! Thanks so much for all of the reads and the kind words, and I hope to see you there!


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